Tag Archives: Mass

The Cry Room Blues

23 Monday Apr 2018

Posted by in Christian Community, Mass

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My wife, Melinda, and I just returned home from a two-week trip to Lake Charles, Louisiana where we baby sat our 21 month old grandson, Patrick, while his parents took a mini-vacation. I thoroughly enjoyed fulfilling my role as a grandparent but I realized it’s not as easy keeping up with the little ones as it was 20 to 30 years ago.

Patrick is everything you imagine a lad of that age to be: strong-willed, busy, and rambunctious. And, loud. While he is still trying to form words intelligible to the rest of us, he is pretty sure his vocabulary is second to none and he wants to tell you, and the folks in the next county, all about it.

My daughter and son-in-law were out of town Thursday through Wednesday, which meant we either had to split up on Sunday to go to mass or, if we were to go together, take Patrick with us. Although I’m the father of four daughters, they were all grown before I became Catholic and began going to church with my wife. She had all the experience of taking our older three to church, all of whom were diaper-clad at the same time, and I had none. Thus, I deferred to her best judgement when she said, “Let’s take him with us.”

We decided to attend Our Lady Queen of Heaven Church that Sunday morning and on the way Patrick started showing signs of crankiness. By the time we parked and went inside, the decision was made to partake of mass from the sound-proof cry room. By the time mass began, a half dozen or so other families felt it best to do the same.

Now, the only church I’ve attended regularly is my home church, St. Francis de Sales in Lebanon, OH, and it does not have a cry room. Instead, it has a large foyer, or gathering space, in which parents can take their kids if things get out of hand. I’ve seldom seen more than one or two parents out there who are trying to keep their eyes on their kids and their ears on the Liturgy filtering through the speakers. Rather, most kids are with their parents in the sanctuary and are respectfully quiet. But, I know that Cheerios, juice boxes, Hot Wheels and stuffed animals are all employed for that purpose. I normally sit towards the front of the church and, although I can’t see the young ones back there, I know of their presence by the squeals they occasionally make.

So, I was surprised as I sat in the cry room at OLQH listening to the infants expressing their displeasure about whatever, and watching the toddler / juvenile delinquents run wild oblivious to their parent’s whispered objections. Of course, by this time, Patrick had fallen asleep in his grandmother’s arms with an angelic calmness on his cherubic face. But, it was too late to get up and reposition to the church proper. We were stuck.

Try as I might, I couldn’t concentrate on the mass. The priest’s homily was 27 minutes and I lost focus after the seven minute mark. My attention was on the ruckus going on within the confined space we were collectively occupying. And, more than once, I said a silent prayer of Thanksgiving for “Saint Melinda” for putting up with all this nonsense all those years without me by her side to help. I owe her.

In thinking about the poor parents who make the sacrifice to go to mass and put their patience on the line, the phrase, “I’ve got the cry room blues”, popped into my head. By the time we left church I had half the song written in my mind. On the way home this weekend I tweaked it a bit and added one more verse. I feel obliged to share it with you here:

The Cry Room Blues
(Lyrics by Jerry Robinson with an imagined Memphis bluesy melody)

Gonna go praise the Lord today,
Gonna hear me some o’ that Good News.
I say I’m gonna go praise the Lord today,
Gonna listen to all the Good News.
But all I hear is my baby screaming the Sunday morning cry room blues.

I’d love to sit a bit closer to You,
Up front in the first few pews.
O, Lord, I’d love to sit a bit closer to You,
Up front in the first few pews.
But I’m trapped here in this cry room while my baby’s singing the blues.

My baby needs a diaper change,
Somewhere he’s lost his shoes.
I say my baby needs his diaper changed,
And somewhere he’s lost his shoes.
Now baby’s giving his daddy the Sunday morning cry room blues.

The old folks ain’t got no sympathy,
They’ve all paid their dues.
I say the old folks got no sympathy,
‘Cause they’ve all paid their dues.
Yeah, they’ve done their time singing the Sunday morning cry room blues.

Now, before you think me evil or cold-hearted, let me say that the experience brought me a new-found respect for any parent who chooses to bring their child to church. You could do otherwise and all of us, the parents, children and the rest of us as the whole Body of Christ would suffer. I applaud you! Please don’t stop, especially if you’re afraid to come because your church doesn’t have a cry room. Your squealing and squirming saints-to-be are the future of the Church. And, whether you know it or not, they’re watching every move you make. Keep being good examples and good parents! The rest of us have “been there and done that” and understand it’s a right of passage. My wife and many others have successfully made it. You will too. God bless you all!

“Lord, thank You for all the parents who sacrifice their sanity for the greater good of bringing their children to You. Please give them the grace to continue forming their children in Your ways. And, thank You for providing my wife with the patience and fortitude to do the same with our daughters while I chose to sit it out. Amen.”

(The Cry Room Blues was first published on the blog Reflections of a Lay Catholic)
©2013-2018 Reflections of a Lay Catholic. Reposting and sharing of material in its full and original content is permitted, provided that full and clear credit is given to the author(s) and Reflections of a Lay Catholic.

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A Monday Morning Blessing

19 Monday Mar 2018

Posted by in Christian Community, Faith

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fne-flag-300x207

The flag of the Federation of North American Explorers

As I pulled into our church’s parking lot this morning for 7:30 a.m. mass I nearly ran into the back end of a tour bus. The bus was a traveling billboard for a Country and Western radio station so, filled with curiosity, I could hardly wait to see which Grand Ol’ Opry star was visiting St. Francis de Sales Catholic Church in Lebanon, Ohio.

When I walked through the doors of the church it was obvious there was not a country music star in attendance. Instead, there were what looked like fifty Boy Scouts sitting in the first few pews on Joseph’s side. Taking my usual place abreast from them on Mary’s side, I noticed their neckerchiefs, “Smokey-the-Bear” style hats or berets, khaki shirts, navy shorts and knee socks. The boys appeared to be in age from seven or eight years old to their late teens. But, looking out of the corner of my eye so as not to appear to be staring, I realized the patches and insignia were different than one would normally see on a BSA uniform.

As mass proceeded, I noticed that each boy, and each accompanying similarly attired adult, followed the mass to the letter. Then, as we walked forward to take communion, each boy dropped to both knees in genuflection before the Blessed Sacrament and took communion from our priest on the tongue rather than receive it by hand. Not only was I curious about who these kids were, I was tremendously impressed! They took their faith and adoration of Jesus in the Eucharist seriously!

After our priest gave the final blessing, I was further impressed when our guests knelt again, sang a song and prayed the St. Michael the Archangel intercessory prayer before standing and recessing in an orderly fashion. It was refreshing to see their love for the Lord instead of how fast they could get out of church.

Back in the foyer, our church’s gathering space, I just had to introduce myself to some of the men who appeared to be the leaders of the group. I wanted to know more about them. I learned they were not Boy Scouts, rather they were were Explorers in the Federation of North American Explorers (FNE). They were on their way home to Toronto, Canada from a trip to Florida and Georgia. They stopped by our community outside of Cincinnati because the only FNE chapter in Ohio is based at our sister parish, St. Philip the Apostle, in Morrow, Ohio.

FNE with Fr. Wood

Parochial Vicar and Priest at St. Philip the Apostle, Fr. Eric Wood, surrounded by the Holy Trinity Chapter of the FNE.

Luckily, the gentleman with whom I was speaking was the leader of the local group. He gave me a few minutes of his time before he had to leave to take his group of hungry boys to a local restaurant for a buffet breakfast.

He explained that the Federation of North American Explorers is a Catholic faith-based, single gender, youth program that interweaves faith into the regular program of weekly meetings, field trips, seasonal camping trips, summer camps and international travel excursions. Groups of boys are led by men, and groups of girls are led by women. And, before having to rush to catch up with his charges, he told me his mission is to “Save souls and create living saints” out of these boys.

After I got home from mass, I searched on-line for the Federation of North American Explorers and I found their website Federation of North American Explorers. I became even more impressed!

There are 22 FNE groups across the United States and seven groups in Canada. The webpage explicitly states that they actively embrace and participate in the celebration of the Eucharist, pray together for each other, their families, and others in need, pray the Rosary together, and attend Eucharistic Adoration. They grow through service to others including feeding the poor and visiting the elderly.

Non-Catholic Christians are invited to join and participate in all activities except for reception of the Sacraments. The organization promotes respect for members of other faiths as part of their daily lives.

The intent of the FNE program is to shape “the character, social, environmental, spiritual, and leadership aspects of the child into his or her adult life.” They “deliver a Christ-centered program experience where each member strives to become an Ordinary Saint through love, service, hard work, dedication, honesty, integrity, compassion, courage, prudence and by embracing the Sacraments of the Church.”

The FNE is recognized as a private pontifical association of faithful by the Holy See as well as by local Archdioceses as a Catholic Lay Movement.

I was particularly impressed with the 10 points of “The Explorer’s Law”, those virtues that build character, and consisted of, among other things: honor, loyalty, service and charity. Each law is stated and then explained for clarity. The one that particularly caught my attention was:

Law #3 – An Explorer is made to serve and save his neighbor. “You cannot be a follower of Christ unless you are willing to sacrifice yourself for others, and the motive must always be for our Lord’s own sake….An Explorer must be prepared, first, by learning everything he can which can make him useful, and then by being always on the watch for the ‘good turn’ which he can do….There is one ‘good turn’ which you can do for anybody at any time, i.e. say a prayer for them. In this way you can give great help to many who need it, even if it is out of your power to be of use to them in any other way.”

As I learned more about the FNE, I felt a sense of relief. In a world that is consumed by individualism, relativism and materialism, to find an organization that is developing our future generations into Catholic men of character is a true breath of fresh air!

I love God-moments like these first thing in the morning, especially Monday mornings!

If readers in the Cincinnati/Lebanon, Ohio area are interested in the local chapter of FNE, you may contact Mr. Mark Glaser at holytrinityfne@gmail.com.

“Heavenly Father, I give you thanks for the adult volunteers who donate their time and energy to develop our children, the future of our Church, into Christ-loving men and women of character. Amen.”

(A Monday Morning Blessing was first published on the blog Reflections of a Lay Catholic)

©2013-2018 Reflections of a Lay Catholic. Reposting and sharing of material in its full and original content is permitted, provided that full and clear credit is given to the author(s) and Reflections of a Lay Catholic.

Finding Rest in the Desert

04 Saturday Feb 2017

Posted by in Renewal

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“[Jesus] said to them, ‘Come away by yourselves to a deserted place and rest a while.’”                     – Mark 6:31 NAB

In today’s Gospel, Jesus instructs His apostles to take a break from their travels and their mission of preaching repentance and healing of unclean spirits. Two by two, they have been separated and away from Jesus for quite some time.  They are tired and dirty.  They have healed many but have been rejected by many, also.  They’re ready for some downtime and time to re-energize.

As I heard the lector read this verse from the Gospel of Mark this morning at mass, I reflected on my own experience and realized that Jesus, as always, hit the nail on the head. For me, it has always been when I have retreated to a “deserted” place for rest and reflection that I have, afterwards, found myself refreshed and renewed in my faith and closer to Jesus.

My first experience was five years ago when I attended a Christ Renews His Parish (CRHP) retreat weekend at our parish church. My decision to go on the retreat was based not on getting closer to Jesus or to increase my faith, for I wasn’t Catholic nor remotely religious, but to hide from the daily struggles of work, and trying, unsuccessfully for the most part, to bring some balance to my life.  I also hoped to meet some men and make some new friends.  I did meet many men and made many new friends – not just acquaintances but lifelong brothers.  And, more importantly, I found God and the love of Christ.  My life was transformed and it hasn’t been the same since.  I became Catholic one year later.

Following that CRHP experience, I met regularly with some of those new friends on a regular basis in a quiet room at our church or at each other’s homes. They were special times, ones which would have required a natural disaster to keep me away.  We talked about how we had seen God working in our lives, and we opened up and shared the difficulties we were trying to overcome.  We chose scripture passages to read and discuss.  We learned from each other and we encouraged each other and we formed brotherly bonds.

With pressures from work seeming to increase, I wanted more of this type of respite. I began attending Bible studies and other opportunities to learn and deepen my faith, including weekly Adoration of the Blessed Sacrament.  Along with spending time with my wife, these encounters were the things which brought me peace.

In wanting to learn more about my faith, I jumped at the invitation to attend a Cursillo weekend where I could again spend a restful few days in reflection and fellowship with other men. Like CRHP, it was a life changing experience.  As a follow-up to Cursillo, monthly Ultreya meetings and weekly discussions of our prayer life, what we are doing to grow our faith, and what we are doing to bring others to Christ, keep me grounded and help direct my attention away from worldly strife.

Through these experiences, I have learned to take advantage of other opportunities for silence, solitude and time for prayer when I am away from my home field and friends. At those times, my “desert” becomes a rolling mountain stream, a peaceful perch overlooking a valley, holding a sleeping grandchild in my arms, or just about any place where I can marvel at His many miracles.

rock-creek

One of my favorite places to rest and listen to God – Rock Creek, west of Red Lodge, Montana.

I have probably read that verse from Mark several times but it never hit home until today. Before mass was over I took time to say a prayer of Thanksgiving for giving me the desire to want to find my own isolated “desert”, and to take time for rest and recharging by the best power source there is, Jesus Christ.

Where is your “desert”? Where do you go to find peace and quiet?  Do you make the time to go?  Do you go there with the intention of spending time with Jesus and letting him recharge you?  You should!  Go!  Look for the opportunities.  Attend a retreat such as Christ Renews His Parish or Cursillo.  Schedule time to meet with faithful men and women from whom you can grow your faith and who will lift you up with encouragement.  If this is new to you, signing up for a Bible study at your church is a good place to start.  The important thing is to seek Him.  Seek Him in a place that offers a measure of solitude and silence where you can listen to God, perhaps through others, and speak to Him in prayer.  You will find Him and you’ll be glad you did.

“O, loving and gracious God, I give You thanks for arranging our first meeting where I learned of and felt Your immense love for me. Thank You for rewarding me with Your peace each and every time I have come back to You.  Your love increases my faith, and my faith brings me hope for a life of eternity with You.  Amen.”

(Finding Rest in the Desert was first published on the blog Reflections of a Lay Catholic)

©2013-2017 Reflections of a Lay Catholic. Reposting and sharing of material in its full and original content is permitted, provided that full and clear credit is given to the author(s) and Reflections of a Lay Catholic.

Giving Your Heart

04 Sunday Dec 2016

Posted by in Charity, Confession, Grace, Mass, Prayer

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As we began singing the hymn during the presentation of the gifts this morning, the usher passed the collection bowl down our pew. As always, we passed it to the next person without putting anything in it.  Rather than write a check every week, we make our contribution once a month.  Let me rephrase that – my wife, who manages our money, makes the contribution for the both of us once a month through an electronic fund transfer.  I don’t have to do anything other than sing when it’s time (and, I’m sure, some folks wish I wouldn’t even do that!)

While I was singing, my mind drifted to that thought, “I don’t have to do anything.” Then, as the bread and wine were brought to the altar and the collection was placed at its base, I suddenly felt ashamed of myself.  Although our monthly gift surely helps the parish and those in need, it’s given remotely and matter-of-factly.  It’s just something we do every month.  Perhaps my wife says a prayer of gratitude for the ability to contribute and a prayer for whoever may benefit from it when she clicks the button to make the EFT happen, but I don’t do anything.

I realized that I was missing something. At a minimum, I thought, I ought to consciously acknowledge our offering and pray that it helps someone.  But, ideally, it’s more than that.  The presentation of the gifts at the beginning of the Liturgy of the Eucharist is offering a gift to Jesus himself.  And, it doesn’t matter whether I make a monthly electronic contribution or drop an envelope in the bowl each week, the gift He wants more than anything else is the gift of my heart offered willingly with love – the acknowledgement that I am giving myself to Him.  A monetary contribution is nice, but hiding behind it without giving Him the gift He truly desires is like buying an expensive gift for your child’s birthday without showing up in person.

I realized that in giving myself to Him each time I attend mass, I am making a commitment to subordinate my will to His. Near the beginning of mass, during the Introductory Rites, I confess my venial sins and ask forgiveness in the Penitential Act.  There is always something I can think of about which I regret doing or not doing.  His forgiveness of these sins allows me to start anew.  Thus, recommitting myself to Him and praying, “I am Yours, Lord”, after I am forgiven, time after time, day after day, seems only fitting.

I know that the next time I attend mass I will take to heart the meaning behind the presentation of the gifts. I will sing and I will watch the family who brings the gifts to the altar.  But, I will also offer a prayer to Jesus that he accepts my gift, the gift of my heart, and my commitment, again, to allow His will to be done.

I don’t know for sure, but I have a feeling, that many who have gone to church day in and day out their entire lives probably do just like I have done – use this time during the presentation of the gifts to sing (or not) and let their minds wander. Won’t you join me, instead, to recommit and imagine that it is our hearts which are being laid at the base of the altar?

“Lord Jesus, I give You thanks for Your forgiveness as I offer You the gift You truly desire, the gift of my heart. I pray for the grace that one day I will not have any sins of commission or omission to confess, knowing that I have allowed Your will to be done.  Amen.”

(Giving Your Heart was first published on the blog Reflections of a Lay Catholic)

©2016 Reflections of a Lay Catholic. Reposting and sharing of material in its full and original content is permitted, provided that full and clear credit is given to the author(s) and Reflections of a Lay Catholic.

The Big Stuff

06 Sunday Nov 2016

Posted by in Faith

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holy-eucharistI don’t know if it’s just the time of year, or the change in the weather, or some straggling ragweed still in the air, but I felt puny all last week. I decided to take Friday off and I made a 9:15 a.m. appointment to see my doctor.  On Thursday night before bed I told my wife that I was looking forward to sleeping in an extra hour or two.  Then she asked me if I would like to go to 7:30 a.m. mass with her, something I never get to do because of my work hours.  I replied I would be glad to, but then thought to myself I need to change that “hour or two” of extra sleep to just one hour.

Melinda woke before me on Friday morning and was already down stairs when I rolled out of bed. We met up after I showered and dressed and, unlike every normal work day, I had a chance to give her a big hug and good morning kiss.  I growled, “I love you”, in my broken voice that was about two octaves lower than normal.  Melinda replied, “You don’t sound too good!”, to which I said, “I feel great, I got an extra hour of sleep and I’m getting to hug you this morning.  My day is starting off fabulously!”  She responded, “Boy, it just takes little stuff to get you feeling good.”  I didn’t tell her but I thought, “No, darling, this isn’t little stuff.  This is big stuff.  This is why I decided I’m going to retire.  These little moments of intimacy are the big reward.  They’re what makes life worth living.”

We went to mass and got there a couple minutes late. I seldom get to go to weekday masses and always get a little confused with the slightly abbreviated version as compared to the usual Sunday mass.  In one way I miss the hymns (the people around me probably didn’t miss my singing!) but then without them it gets me to the Celebration of the Eucharist that much quicker.  Receiving Holy Communion is always the high point of my day.  As I accepted the Blessed Sacrament I marveled at how that one little round disk, which just a few moments earlier was simply a wafer of bread, can, with its transformation, transform one’s whole life.  And, then, with a glance towards the crucifix which hung above the altar, I thought, “That’s not just a little round wafer of bread, no, that’s BIG stuff!  Bigger than BIG!  It is truly the body of Christ!”  Upon kneeling back at my pew I gave thanks to Jesus for the unity with Him, for His nourishing my spirit, for His forgiveness of my sins and for the grace to avoid sinning, and for giving me the grace to listen to the Holy Spirit and let it fill my heart with love.  Yeah, that’s real big stuff.  It’s what makes life worth living.

Later that afternoon, I had the opportunity to join a friend to talk about our faith. We meet weekly to share with each other how our prayer life has been going over the last week, what we’ve been doing to study and grow our faith, and what actions we have taken to spread the word of God or bring Christ to others.  We’ve found that this weekly exercise helps us hold each other accountable so that we don’t get lazy in our faith.  It only takes an hour.  To some it may seem like small talk, but to me it’s that man to man time when we can be honest with each other and we know that we can trust the other to help keep us on the right path.  More big stuff.  And, more of what makes life worth living.

I love the big stuff.  How about you?  What’s your big stuff?

“Heavenly Father, thank you for opening my eyes to the big stuff in life and helping me decide to turn away from the things that have kept me from the big stuff. As I move into retirement I pray that I can always keep the big stuff the big stuff.  But, Lord, I know I will lose focus from time to time and I pray you will gently bring me back.  Amen.”

(The Big Stuff was first published on the blog Reflections of a Lay Catholic.)

©2016 Reflections of a Lay Catholic. Reposting and sharing of material in its full and original content is permitted, provided that full and clear credit is given to the author(s) and Reflections of a Lay Catholic.

Reflections on Daily Mass

23 Monday Sep 2013

Posted by in Uncategorized

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The requirement to attend mass on Sundays and holy days of obligation is the first precept of the Catholic Faith:

“You shall attend Mass on Sundays and on holy days of obligation and rest from servile labor” requires the faithful to sanctify the day commemorating the Resurrection of the Lord as well as the principal liturgical feasts honoring the mysteries of the Lord, the Blessed Virgin Mary, and the saints; in the first place, by participating in the Eucharistic celebration, in which the Christian community is gathered, and by resting from those works and activities which could impede such a sanctification of these days.  (2042)

About 2 years ago, I began to faithfully fulfill this minimal obligation.  Prior to that, I did attend mass frequently, but if I missed every now and then, it was OK with me.  In fact, I used to volunteer to stay home with the twins when they were much younger so that my wife and oldest daughter could go to mass in peace.  Wasn’t that nice of me?  Anyway, it wasn’t that I hated going to mass, I just didn’t “enjoy” myself.  I was like many who believed that the mass was about me and my needs rather than an opportunity to “commemorate the resurrection of the Lord.”  If I wasn’t entertained or didn’t “get anything out of it,” I didn’t see the point in attending.  However, thanks to several blessings, not the least of which is the example shown by my wife, I rediscovered the true meaning of the mass and don’t miss a Sunday, even on vacation.  I even sacrificed by attending an evening mass once at a neighboring parish which has a showy band for its music.  I really don’t like it when I attend a mass and a rock concert breaks out.  But that is a topic for another time.  Weekly mass has become, for me, an opportunity to worship our Lord and receive the gift of the Eucharist.  I now get as much from the weekly mass as I put into it and it is such a blessing to attend every week.

After I started to understand the mass and all its gifts, I would occasionally attend a weekday mass at either St. Francis de Sales in Lebanon or at St. Peter in Chains Cathedral in downtown Cincinnati, close to my office at UC.  I actually made my first confession in 30 years to a priest at the Cathedral so it will always have a special place in my heart.  I attended daily mass when the mood struck me but with no consistency or compelling urge to do so.  However, just over 9 weeks ago I looked at my calendar for the week and saw two glorious things.  First, my boss was out of town all week.  Second, because she was out of town, all my morning meetings were cancelled.  I decided on the spur of the moment that I would attend daily mass every day that week and see how I liked it.

During that week I attended the 7 a.m. mass at St. Gertrude church in Madeira.  I was surprised by how many people were at mass.  There were probably over 30 people every day, mostly the same ones day after day.  The next week, I decided to continue morning mass but was challenged one day with a meeting away from my office that interfered with 7 a.m. mass.  Using www.masstimes.org, I found a church near my meeting location that had a 6:30 a.m. mass.  I went there instead that day and returned to St. Gertrude for the rest of the week.  I next found that I could still get to mass before a 7 a.m. meeting if I went to 6 a.m. mass at St. Xavier in downtown Cincinnati.  I figured, “what kind of nut goes to 6 a.m. mass in the middle of the week?”  Evidently, there are about 25-35 nuts who get up that early every day and I had become one of them.

After I figured out that I could leave my house by 6:15 every day and still get to the Cathedral before 7 a.m., I have consistently attended mass there along with the same 20-25 people.  There is the women who reads the entrance and communion antiphons every day.  There is the guy who always comes in with his backpack and the lady with her rustling Wal-Mart bags.  There is the woman who wears a mantilla, sits right up front and, for some reason, holds a small doll throughout the mass.  They are all there, every day, worshipping God through the mass.

There are all kinds of ways to build your relationship with God.  I have found that attending daily mass has brought me closer to Him and is a great way to start my day.  Try it for a week and let me know what you think.