Tag Archives: Friendship

No Chance Encounters

16 Sunday Jan 2022

Posted by in Discipleship

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The Calling of St. Matthew, Matthias Stomer, 1629

In yesterday’s first reading from 1 Samuel 9, we heard about Saul the Benjaminite who, while out looking for his lost donkeys, just happened to run into Samuel the prophet.  Samuel had been told by God the day before that he would meet the man whom he would name as the new king of Israel at that specific time the next day.  From Saul’s perspective, It was a chance encounter.  From Samuel’s, though, it was God’s plan.

In yesterday’s Gospel, Mark 2:13-17, we read about Jesus calling Matthew, son of Alphaeus, to follow him.  Matthew certainly wasn’t expecting to be called, but it was in Jesus’ plan to pass by his tax collection booth that day and invite him to be His disciple.  

Jesus meets us in unexpected, memorable and life changing ways, also.  Unfortunately, when He does, we can be quick to write them off as mere coincidences.  I’ve learned, though, that most anything very far removed from the ordinary is God working in my life and not just a result of dumb luck.  He’s calling my attention to Himself and His will.  Sometimes it may only be a reminder that He is here with me, sometimes a reminder to be grateful for His providence, and sometimes He’s telling me I need to make a course correction.  Sometimes it’s all of the above.

I had a little God-moment yesterday.  An old friend, Joe, called me out of the blue.  I hadn’t talked to him in many months, and only a couple times since he moved away five years or so ago.  Joe and I first met ten years ago this coming April on a Christ Renews His Parish weekend, a retreat in which neither of us ever expected to participate.  Joe was a lukewarm Catholic with little desire to grow deeper in his faith but attended to placate the man who kept pestering him.  Me, I had never had any faith to allow to grow cold.  I was simply at a low point and attended to get away from the stress of life for two days.

From the get-go, Joe and I hit it off.  We became instant friends, both satiated with the Holy Spirit by the end of the retreat, and wondering where we would go from there.  I chose to join the Catholic Church and learn more about Jesus, and Joe chose to begin living out his faith with renewed zeal.  We were both on fire and our friendship kept each other stoked like a blacksmith’s furnace.  Together, we went onto the next Christ Renews team.  We met for lunch once a week and shared how God was working in our lives. We participated in a men’s small group at which we discussed the Gospel and learned more about our faith from other friends.

And then Joe changed jobs and moved a couple hours away.  We lost touch, yet we kept moving forward in our own ways.  Joe got involved in the small parish which he attends and started making new friends.  I retired and began studying to become a spiritual mentor.  Our small group slowly dissolved and I found new friends with whom to share my faith.

We talked for over a half hour, catching up with each other, our families, our faith.  He called me because he thought of me and our Christ Renews His Parish journey together.  He was giving a pulpit talk this morning to ask men to attend a weekend retreat and he wanted my prayers.  

I told him I have a couple groups with whom I meet regularly and just last week gathered together some of the old guys from our first group.  It was a fun reunion and we talked about resuming regular get-togethers.  Joe said he misses those group discussions and would like to get a small group of friends from his parish together to share their faith.  We talked about our prayer lives, and about the spiritual mentoring that I do, and he sounded interested in getting his own spiritual mentor.  It was almost like old-times.  Before we ended the call we vowed to stay better in touch.  

After our call, I thought back to how our friendship evolved.  We were both called to be on that retreat together.  We had our reasons, but God had His own.  It was not a chance encounter.  Yesterday’s phone call wasn’t a chance encounter, either.  We needed each other during that time to grow deeper in our faith which ultimately made us better disciples for Christ.  We needed each other yesterday.  It was like God giving a couple pumps on the bellows of that old furnace.  

The Holy Spirit is still urging us to continue being disciple makers.  And, because of this, we have the grace to know and accept that He puts Sauls and Matthews in our lives by His plan and not by coincidence.  But, they don’t know that….not yet.

PS:  My wife and I arrived at mass this morning just moments before the opening procession.  Not wanting to walk down the aisle to our preferred seat, we took a spot in the back pew on Mary’s side, at the far outside end of the pew.  As I sat down I remembered that this was Joe’s seat.  He would always get there early to make sure someone else didn’t get it.  Coincidence?  I don’t think so.

“Heavenly Father, thank you for the friendships we have developed with You as the Common Denominator.  Through them You give us the extra help we need to be disciple makers and bring our brothers and sisters to You.  Amen.”

(No Chance Encounters was first published on the blog Reflections of a Lay Catholic)

©2013-2022 Reflections of a Lay Catholic. Reposting and sharing of material in its full and original content is permitted, provided that full and clear credit is given to the author(s) and Reflections of a Lay Catholic.

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A Worthy Resolution

10 Monday Jan 2022

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The Calling of the Apostles Peter and Andrew, Duccio di Buoninsegna, 1308-1311, National Gallery of Art

Yesterday’s celebration of the Baptism of Jesus marked the end of Christmastide and initiated  Ordinary Time which began today.  Yesterday’s liturgy helped call to mind the gifts of fire and Spirit which we were given at our baptisms, those supernatural gifts bestowed upon us to help us give witness to the light and truth of Jesus in all that we say and do.

Today’s Gospel was from Mark 1:14-20.  I love Mark.  He doesn’t waste any time getting to the meat of things.  No infancy narrative, no beating around the bush.  In the very first chapter, he tells us of John the Baptist’s preaching in verses 1 to 8, about Jesus’ baptism in verses 9 to 11, the Lord’s temptation in the desert in verses 12 and 13, in verse 14 he goes straight into the beginning of Jesus’ ministry, and in verse 16 He calls His first disciples.  Bam!  There it is!  He’s off and running!

As I was meditating on today’s passage I wondered if there was an intended purpose in having the temptations in the desert back to back with Jesus’ calling of the first disciples.  Probably not, but I thought of a plausible one that could be relevant to us today.  We’re ten days into the new year and many of us look back at the last twelve months and wish we had done better at this or that.  Many of our perceived faults and failures were direct results of one or more vices: pride, greed, lust, envy, gluttony, anger, and sloth.  In a sense, these were the temptations we were faced with in a moment of choice, which we probably caved into, and which may have become habits, or else we wouldn’t be trying to correct ourselves.

Our inherent sense of right and wrong tells us we ought to do better during the next trip around the sun.  So, we make resolutions to correct these vices with corresponding opposite virtues:  humility, charity, chastity, gratitude, temperance, patience, and diligence.  We want to improve our diets, get more exercise, enhance our relationships, change some negative behavior, and so on.  And maybe, just maybe, that second sense is moving you to become better disciples of Christ and draw more people to Him.  To be Fishers of Men and teach your catch to do the same. 

Making changes, real and worthwhile changes, is never easy.  It’s hard to break bad habits and come face to face with fears and discomforts.  These days, one of the hardest habits to break is to pull away from one’s screens.  But, we know inside that doing so will give us more time to enhance our relationships with those we love.  That’s the first secret of improvement, seeing the good that will come.  Similarly, we can see the good, the joy, the feeling of peace, the graces, that will come from living out our calling as disciples.  It may not be easy but it will be worth it.

The second secret is to commit to making the change and eliminate the obstacles.  To lose weight you stop buying a bucket of ice cream each day so you won’t eat it.  So, determine what’s keeping you from approaching other people.  Then commit to making a change and draft a plan.  Ask yourself what you can do differently.  Go to a different mass than you usually go to and meet someone new.  Invite them to dinner.  Build a friendship.  Have good conversation and get to know each other.  Invite them to pray a rosary with you.  You don’t even have to approach people you don’t know.  Just look within your family – people who you already know and love.

Maybe being a better disciple sounds difficult, almost scary.  I know what you’re thinking – “You mean I have to talk to people, maybe even non-Christians, about God and my faith?  I’ll have to invite them to go to church with me, or a bible study, or pray a rosary with me.  What if they turn me down?  What if they reject not just my offer but me!?”  Just remember yesterday’s Gospel:   you were given with your baptism the supernatural gifts to help you give witness to the truth and the light that is Jesus!  And, then, if you were confirmed, you were given the virtue of fortitude to help overcome your fear.

I have a friend who begins each year with a resolution to bring three people closer to Christ.  Not just any three people but three specific people.  He writes down their names.  He makes a plan that includes building friendships with them by inviting them into his life.  Then, slowly, through their new and trusting relationship, he introduces them to Jesus.  I’ve seen it work year after year.  A win-win for both parties.  Does he get a bite with each cast?  No, but he’s fishing instead of just cutting bait and he puts more in the Lord’s creel than most people.

If you’ve already made new resolutions, or if you’re still kicking around ideas, consider what you can do to become a better disciple.  Ask God to help you.  Certainly resolve to change what needs to change, turn your vices into virtues, so that others can see you living the Christ life.  Then commit to bringing someone else closer to Christ as well.  It’s a worthy resolution.

“Dear Jesus, I love You, and I would love to bring more people to love You like I do.  I can only do so much on my own and I need Your help.  Help me, Lord, to realize the confidence, the faith, and the courage You have so graciously and generously infused into me through Your Spirit.  Help me to help others desire the same.  Amen.”

(A Worthy Resolution was first published on the blog Reflections of a Lay Catholic)

©2013-2022 Reflections of a Lay Catholic. Reposting and sharing of material in its full and original content is permitted, provided that full and clear credit is given to the author(s) and Reflections of a Lay Catholic.

Bring a Friend to Christ

23 Saturday Jan 2021

Posted by in Evangelization

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Jesus Sends the Apostles – Duccio di Buoninsegna, c.1300

Yesterday, as I read the Gospel from Mark 3:13-19, I zeroed in on Jesus’ summoning of the twelve whom he appointed as His Apostles.  I tried to imagine what they felt when they realized they were being chosen to stand out from the hundreds of other disciples who were following Jesus at the time.  Were they overcome with joy?  Probably.  Did their chests swell with pride for being chosen?  I’m sure they did.  Later, in Mark 10:35-45, we discover James’ and John’s ambition to be placed above the others.  

And what about the hundreds of other people who had flocked to Him, followed Him, and became His disciples?  How did they feel?  Did they feel left out?  Or did the joy they had discovered from following Jesus infuse new life into their vocations as spouses and parents, and into their occupations?

Two thousand years later, not much has changed.  The Holy Spirit is still calling men to be apostles by calling them into the priesthood, and women into religious life.  Their love for Jesus prompts them to embrace lives of poverty, chastity and obedience and live by divine providence as the first Apostles learned to do.  I am grateful for their sacrifices that, through them, the rest of us are brought closer to Jesus.

The rest of us.  What about the rest of us?  Because we have not been summoned, does it mean that we can’t or shouldn’t help bring others to Jesus as well?  Absolutely not.  Those disciples not chosen for the Twelve didn’t just throw up their hands and say, “Okay, that’s it, I’m not on the A-team so I can go home now.”  No, they remained faithful followers.  And, so should we.  

But, our job is not just to follow Jesus.  It’s to tell others about Him, to introduce them to Him.  In, Thursday’s Gospel we read in Mark 3:8, “Hearing what He was doing, a large number of people came to him….”.  How did they “hear” what Jesus was doing?  They heard because those following Jesus told them about His saving grace.  And, then, they not only heard, but they saw with their own eyes the joy and excitement  displayed by those who had seen the Messiah.

I know what you’re thinking:  “The point Jerry’s trying to get across is that we need to evangelize, that we need to go out and tell others about Jesus.”  You’re right.  And, I know what you’re feeling:  “That’s not easy to do.  Anyhow, most of the people I know already go to church and those who don’t don’t care.  What if people push back and don’t want to hear about Jesus?  What if they ask me questions to which I don’t know the answers?  It makes me uncomfortable!”  I get it.  Been there.

You might be thinking, too, “You know, I lead a good Christian life, I’ll let my example speak for itself.”  Well, that’s all fine and good, but it’s too passive.  That’s like seeing the guy or girl of your dreams and thinking you don’t need to speak to him or her because your good looks or your fancy clothes are enough of an attraction when, instead, it’s a vivacious, outgoing and charming personality that’s needed.  No, you have to take action, you have to do something.  But, where do you start?

I will assume you have friends.  And, every one of those friends is in love with Christ, they look forward to going to Mass every Sunday (and during the week, if possible), and they consider receiving Communion the high point of their day, right?  What, no?  They aren’t all that way?  You mean you have some friends who are perhaps a little lukewarm?  Oh, and even a few who don’t profess any faith?  Okay, good, you’re not alone, then.

The operative phrase in the above is that you have friends.  We all have friends and family whom we love but whose faith is all across the board.  And, since we are all sinners, every single one of us has room to grow in virtue that only Christ can bring through a close relationship with Him. Our mission is to help that happen.

What makes for good friendship?  Usually, it begins with getting to know each other through good conversation.  Good conversation brings with it a certain intimacy which, in turn, brings a level of trust.  A deep and trusting friendship turns into a loving relationship that desires the best for each other.  And, how can we love someone more than to wish for them a relationship with God that will bring them joy for all eternity?

I know, it sounds good, but how do you make it happen?  Well, it usually won’t happen by itself, meaning you have to set it in motion.  There are various ways to begin.  And, it’s not by following a “friend” on social media.

An easy way is to sit in a different pew than you’re used to sitting in, or attend a different Mass, and meet someone new.  Strike up a conversation after Mass.  If that’s the Mass they usually attend, make it a point to go back and meet them again.

It may help to have a plan.  I have a friend who, at the beginning of the year, spends time in prayer asking the Holy Spirit to put on his heart three men whom he should try to bring closer to Christ.  Then, he makes it his mission for the year to help them get there.

You might think of a friend who is struggling in some way.  Perhaps someone who hasn’t been to Mass in a while due to the pandemic.  Give them a call to check up on them and see how they’re doing.  See if you can stop by and chat with them for a while.  If you can, follow up later and do it again.

Invite someone you’d like to know better out to dinner or for a drink at the local pub.  Sit around a campfire and share stories about your lives. Get together at your house for dinner and an evening of playing cards.  Then invite them to pray the Rosary with you.  Make plans to do it again soon.

Once you’ve come to know the person better, and they you, interject more of your faith into the conversation.  It can be done gently and unobtrusively.  Let them see your love for Christ.  Don’t worry if they don’t jump on board right away or reject your invitation, give it time.  You’ve planted the seed.  Keep watering and fertilizing that seed by following up.  It will grow.

If you meet with other men or women in a small faith sharing group or attend a Bible study, invite that friend, after a while, to come join you.  Perhaps invite someone to a Welcome, or Christ Renews His Parish weekend, or a Cursillo weekend.  Talk to them about how uplifted you are when you attend your Adoration hour and suggest they consider taking on an hour themselves.  

Above all else, PRAY.  You must pray for your friends.  Pray that they open their hearts fully to the Holy Spirit.  And, pray for your own docility to the Holy Spirit so that you will follow His lead.

You might think this sounds like manipulation.  It’s not.  It’s love.  Manipulation would be for the purpose of what you get out of it.  Through your love, you are helping someone find the love of Christ, for their own good, not yours.

Does it work?  Absolutely!  It’s what brought me to Christ and the Catholic faith almost nine years ago.  I was Agnostic, had no faith and didn’t care one way or the other.  But, two men, both strong in their faith, befriended me and slowly and gently led me to Jesus through friendship and good conversation.  They spent and invested time in me, invited me into their world, and in that world I found more love than I’d ever known.  Out of gratitude, I want to do the same.  Won’t you join me?

“Lord Jesus, thank You for placing friends in my life who, through their love of neighbor, took the time to patiently invest in me so that I would come to know You.  Lord, please help me bring those who do not know Your love, and those who have let their relationship with You become stagnant, to a full and eternal loving relationship with You.  Amen.”

(Bring a Friend to Christ was first published on the blog Reflections of a Lay Catholic)

©2013-2021 Reflections of a Lay Catholic. Reposting and sharing of material in its full and original content is permitted, provided that full and clear credit is given to the author(s) and Reflections of a Lay Catholic.

Road Trip Reflections: Family, Fun and Fly Fishing

31 Friday Jul 2020

Posted by in Road Trips

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Hello, friends. I left you hanging over a week ago in Fargo, North Dakota. We have since reached our destination, our little cabin in the mountains outside of Red Lodge, Montana, where we have no internet. I’ve also spent the last several days with our children and grandchildren which is more important than running to the coffee shop in town to access their WI-FI.

On Wednesday, the 22nd, we left Fargo for Billings, Montana under a deep blue, cloudless sky, and temps in the low 60’s. This was my first trip to the “Peace Garden State”. You might ask why I went so far north rather than take the shorter route across I-80 or I-90. Well, North Dakota was one of only two states (Hawaii is the other) that I had not driven through. Now I can check this one off my list.

We stopped in Bismarck, the state capital, to visit with a friend, Bernice, whom we met a year ago on our pilgrimage to Italy. We spent two hours catching up with each other and reliving moments from our pilgrimage. At one point our conversation turned to our faith and shortly a young mother with three children sat down at our table under the pavilion we were occupying in the park. She wore a t-shirt that said, “Be a ….Saint”, with the letters of the word “Saint” spelled out using the names of real saints. I caught her attention and said, “I like your shirt!” to which she responded, “I heard you talking about praying the Rosary!” It turned out she is a school teacher at the local Catholic school. Coincidence that we were there together? I don’t think so. (Bernice, thank you for the goodie bag! Everything was delicious!)

North Dakota Badlands, Theodore Roosevelt National Park

As we drove westward across the state on I-94, the topography changed from being flat in the east with corn as far as the eye could see, to undulating fields of corn and soybeans in the central part of the state, and then rolling hills of grassland and cattle in the west. Not far from the Montana state line we stopped at the Theodore Roosevelt National Park South Unit and drove through the Badlands of North Dakota.

We arrived at our hotel in Billings, Montana after dark with 670 miles for the day.

On Thursday morning we hit the road one more time for the final hour and a half to our cabin just south of Red Lodge. We arrived early enough to unload and get situated before our daughters and their families began arriving from Seattle, Washington, Olathe, Kansas; Lake Charles, Louisiana; and Memphis, Tennessee.

For the next four days, the 16 of us (two grandparents, four daughters, three sons-in-law, and seven grandchildren age 5 and under) had fun being together. We played, explored, hiked, fished, cooked, ate, shopped, and reconnected. The cousins, who seldom see each other, had fun and got a little rambunctious at times, driving their parents a little crazy. But, that’s what little ones do. We know, their mothers did the same to us. Regardless of the noise and shenanigans, It was wonderful spending time with them.

Cousins

Two daughters and their families left on Tuesday, and the others left early Wednesday morning to catch their flights home out of Billings. For the first time in a week Melinda and I were by ourselves in a quiet cabin. I’d be lying if I said I didn’t appreciate the peace and quiet, but it didn’t take long to miss the whining, the pitter-patter of little feet, and lightning-fast hands getting into things they shouldn’t get into. We’re already looking forward to the next time we can all get together, whenever that will be.

What do you do to get past the shock of missing your family after such an enjoyable time? You go fishing of course! There’s no better way to distract yourself than to be standing in a clear mountain stream waving a fly rod in the air. I found a nice spot on Rock Creek just down from the cabin and caught two Rainbows on a size 14 beaded nymph.

Rock Creek

In my opinion, fly fishing is only a step or two away from heaven. Even though following the drift of my fly takes intense concentration, my mind and heart still found a way to recognize the beauty and majesty of our God, and all that He has created. Between casts, I gave thanks to Him for this week, for my dear wife, children and grandchildren, for the love we have between us, and for the love that He has shown me through them.

I gave thanks for all the natural beauty we’ve seen this week: from the corn fields of Illinois, the pastures and dairy farms of Wisconsin, the woodlands of Minnesota, the prairie of North Dakota, and the grasslands, mountains and streams of Montana. All different but beautiful, all unique in their own way, but all precious and valuable to the people who live there. We go to great lengths to experience the wonder of God’s creation in all its forms, and we go out of our way to take care of it.

The most amazing of His creations, however, are us, His people. It occurred to me how different life would be if we marveled at people the same way as we do nature, and similarly valued life. What if we approached other people with an interest to learn more about them, trying to find out what makes him or her unique and what makes them beautiful? Just as we might study a geologic formation or the flora and fauna of a region, imagine how much we could learn from the experiences of other people if we took the time to get to know them.

With social media replacing real human interaction, society is becoming more and more isolated. Just as there is something special about road trips where you can see the country up close instead of simply looking at photographs, we ought to set the electronics aside and take more “personal road trips” to explore our neighbors, our friends, and our own families on a close and personal level.

God created us to be social beings, to accompany each other through life. Jesus asked us to love our neighbors as ourselves, but it’s hard for people to feel loved if we don’t know them. He asked us to grow His Kingdom by leading others to an encounter with Him, but it’s difficult to lead people who don’t know us and who feel as though we don’t care about them. We need to take time to share a meal, sit around a campfire, take a hike, play a game, (or better yet, go fly fishing together!) and for other activities which offer the opportunity to get to know each other. When we do these things, we need to be interested in the other person, and intentionally seek to know and understand them. Then, perhaps, when the time is right, they may be open to a discussion about faith. Then, we can do His will by leading others to Him.

There are a plethora of bad things going on in the world today. The media, both television and social, focus on the things that take away our peace, and instill in us fear and worry about the future. This is just what the Evil One wants. But, it’s only in the present moment that we are able to do God’s will. Thus, if we want to change the world, we have to first look within ourselves and take advantage of every opportunity to see Jesus in others and let them see Him in us.

“Heavenly Father, thank You for the time we’ve had together as family this week. Thank You for Your beautiful creations, both the natural beauty of our country and for the people You place in our lives. Lord, give me the grace to do Your will and lead others to You. Amen.”

(Road Trip Reflections: Family, Fun, and Fly Fishing was first published on the blog Reflections of a Lay Catholic)

©2013-2020 Reflections of a Lay Catholic. Reposting and sharing of material in its full and original content is permitted, provided that full and clear credit is given to the author(s) and Reflections of a Lay Catholic.

Road Trip Reflections: Rosaries, Sunsets and Signs

21 Tuesday Jul 2020

Posted by in Road Trips

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Road trips. I love ’em! I love to get behind the wheel and go, just my wife, me, and the highway for eight to ten hours a day. It’s been way too long since our last one! The social isolation of COVID-19 has, for the most part, kept us home. Melinda and I did venture out last week, along with 12 others from our parish, to participate in a mission trip to Appalachia Kentucky to repair houses for those who can no longer afford to maintain their homes (perhaps a future post?). Other than that, we’ve stayed at home since mid-March.

Yesterday afternoon, full of anticipation, we hit the road heading northwest for an almost three week excursion that will include a long over due family reunion with all our children and grandchildren. Leaving Cincinnati on I-74, we pointed the car towards Indianapolis, Indiana, and then Bloomington, Illinois. At Bloomington, we turned north on I-39 and motored towards Madison, Wisconsin, for our first night out.

We made the turn at Bloomington about 7:30 p.m., and we broke out our Rosaries. Melinda and I have faithfully prayed the Rosary together every day since the first of April. When Pope Francis wrote his letter on 25 April encouraging everyone to pray the Rosary daily during the month of May, we invited a friend to join us. Our friend, who lives in Louisiana, was struggling with the social isolation and welcomed the opportunity to spend time together. Since May 1st, every evening at 7:30 p.m. we have FaceTimed and prayed the Rosary together, asking Our Blessed Mother to intercede for the health and well being of a long list of people. Being on the road was not going to keep us from joining together in prayer and meditation.

We prayed our Rosary, laughed and chatted for a bit, and then, about half way to Rockford, Illinois, said our goodbyes just as the sun was setting. Overhead were heavy gray clouds, but away on the horizon the sun found a chink through which it set the sky on fire with a fierce beauty the likes of which I haven’t seen in thirty years! Since I was driving and couldn’t do more than chance a quick glance at that marvelous sight, I asked Melinda to snap a photo so I could relive that beautiful moment when we stopped for the night.

Sunset in Northern Illinois, 20 July 2020

I recalled that morning’s Gospel passage from Mt 12:38-42 in which the scribes and Pharisees asked Jesus to give them a sign to help them believe. I found comfort knowing that I don’t need to see a sign to believe, rather I see the signs because I believe. This sunset seemed to be God’s way of thanking me for my belief. Thank you, Lord!

We arrived safely at our hotel in Madison, Wisconsin after 504 miles and eight and a half hours of driving. It was a great day! Road trips, I love ‘em! I can’t wait to see what tomorrow will bring. Check back to find out.

“Heavenly Father, thank You for the opportunity to travel in this great land, Your creation, with all its magnificence and beauty. Thank You for the finishing touches that only You, the Artist of artists, can paint. Thank You for friends with whom we can love and be loved and grow closer to You, together. And, thank You, Lord, for protecting us in our travels. Please watch over my family as we travel to be with each other. Amen.”

(Road Trip Reflections: Rosaries, Sunsets and Signs was first published on the blog Reflections of a Lay Catholic)

©2013-2020 Reflections of a Lay Catholic. Reposting and sharing of material in its full and original content is permitted, provided that full and clear credit is given to the author(s) and Reflections of a Lay Catholic.

Advent: A Season for Healing Spiritual Paralysis

10 Monday Dec 2018

Posted by in Advent, Confession, Reconciliation

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Healing of the Paralytic by Harold Copping

As I was driving to town to attend mass this morning I was running through plans for the week, trying to remember what appointments I have, what I need to be prepared for, and, especially, looking for blocks of time when my wife and I can spend some time together. I made a note that our parish has its Advent penance service this Thursday evening, and I looked forward to this being something Melinda and I could do together.

Participating in the Sacrament of Reconciliation has always been special for me. In the year before I became Catholic, while I was waiting for RCIA to begin and then throughout the formation period, I would go to Confession for “practice”. My friends would tease me about it but it felt good to make my examination of conscience, admit to my lapses in virtue. and to pray for the grace to get better. Unable at that time to receive Christ in the Holy Eucharist, Reconciliation seemed to be the best place for me to meet Jesus.

The Gospel for today was from Luke 5:17-26, the Healing of the Paralytic. I listened to our priest read about the healing of the paralyzed man whose friends lowered him from the roof of the house in which Jesus was teaching so that he might meet Jesus and be healed. And, as I pictured in my mind’s eye this man descending on his stretcher, coming closer and closer to Jesus, hoping to be healed, I thought about how it parallels my hope for forgiveness in the Sacrament of Reconciliation. What anticipation he must have felt as he was being lowered to the floor! Then, what joy he must have felt when his paralysis was cured and he stood and walked away carrying his stretcher! I thought, “I know that feeling!”

Then, my thoughts turned away from the paralytic and towards the four friends who cared enough to bring the man to where Jesus was teaching.  Their faith was strong enough to not let the crowd obstruct them from arranging for the man to meet Jesus. I knew the true message of this Gospel passage was contained in Jesus’ forgiveness of their sins. Their faith and their love for their disabled friend saved them.

The paralyzed man could not get to Jesus under his own power. Instead, it took friends who loved and cared for him – friends who brought him hope.

I thought about all the people in our parish community, in our country and in the world, who, for one reason or another, are paralyzed in their faith. People who feel their sins are so severe they are too ashamed to admit them to God. Men and women, young and old, who have fallen away from their faith and now don’t think they are worthy of God’s love and forgiveness.

I thought about all these good people, all children of God, who may just need “four friends” to bring them to Christ so they can be relieved of their “paralysis”. More than likely they can make it to church on their own two feet or in their own vehicle, but they just need some encouragement to go to Confession so they can be healed. They might only need to be reminded of the joy that comes from returning to grace and feeling God’s love for them. They may only need someone, like you or me, to rekindle their hope in this Season of Hope.

We may also know someone who truly is “paralyzed” from going to the Sacrament of Reconciliation because they can’t make it on their own steam. Perhaps they are disabled, isolated and lonely, or simply have no vehicle in which to get to church. As faithful friends we are called to reach out, assist, and arrange the means by which they can have their meeting with our Holy Physician.

Every parish in the world is offering a penance service during this season of Advent. I hope that each of you reading this will make it a point to go to Confession to prepare your heart for Christ’s coming. And, I hope that each of you will reach out and be the friend who helps those who are paralyzed, in whatever form, make receiving the Sacrament a reality.

God bless you!

“Lord God, thank You for the actual grace You bestow on us that allows us to come to You for forgiveness. And, thank You for the restoration of our baptismal grace once we do. Lord, help us to be the friends who bring those we love to You so that their loving relationship with You may be rekindled. Amen.”

(Advent: A Season for Healing Spiritual Paralysis was first published on the blog Reflections of a Lay Catholic)

©2013-2018 Reflections of a Lay Catholic. Reposting and sharing of material in its full and original content is permitted, provided that full and clear credit is given to the author(s) and Reflections of a Lay Catholic.

Overcoming the Fear of Evangelizing

11 Monday Jun 2018

Posted by in Evangelization, Fear, Friendship

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apostles-creed31I mentioned the other day in my post, God is a Techie….and I’m Not, that I had been inspired during the Easter season to write but had trouble making the time to do so. This reflection, the product of weeks of pondering, is one of those. Better late than never.

The Gospel on Pentecost Sunday summed up the Easter season quite well with Jesus’ words, “Peace be with you , as the Father has sent Me, so I send you” (Jn 20:21 NAB). The Gospel readings throughout Easter gave us the opportunity to really get to know Jesus and understand what He expects from us – to go forth spreading the Word by loving one another as He has loved us.

And, throughout Easter, we read from the Acts of the Apostles about how the Apostles did exactly that, proclaiming Jesus as Lord, and spreading the Word of God and His love to anyone, Jews and Gentiles alike, who would listen.

Then, today, on the Feast of St. Barnabas, we hear similar words when Jesus commissions the Twelve, “As you go, make this proclamation: ‘The kingdom of heaven is at hand.’”  (Mt 10:7 NAB)

I don’t know about you but I can’t read the Acts of the Apostles without feeling the deep faith they professed. As I read and followed the footsteps of St. Paul, I felt the passion and enthusiasm he had for Christ. I was amazed at the courage he exhibited to bring the faith and the love of God to others in the face of persecution.

I wondered if I could have carried out Christ’s command and truly lived that apostolate? But, more importantly, I wonder if I’m fulfilling my duty (and, it is a duty) as a Christian to personally live it today?

As Catholics, we like to recite a quote, often, but probably erroneously, attributed to St. Francis of Assisi, “Preach the Gospel at all times, and, if necessary, use words.” The message is that we should be like St. Francis who lived the Gospel and that our faith should be obvious in our actions. That’s all true, but unfortunately, it gives us the false impression that we don’t need to actually talk to anyone, to verbally make the Good News known.

But, consider if the Apostles had only demonstrated their faith through their actions without verbally preaching the Gospel? Where would the Church be today? I doubt there would be a Church.

No, as brothers and sisters in Christ, it is our duty to not only live the Gospel, but also preach the Gospel with words. So then, why does it seem to have been so easy for the Apostles to convert hundreds to The Way every day, and why is it so hard for me?

First, I think they were so abundantly graced with the virtues of Love and Fortitude that fear of rejection didn’t even phase them. Their love for, and dedication to, the Lord enabled them to foster supernatural courage. They were on a mission, and fear, if they had any, wasn’t going to stop them.

I know fear is a factor in my personal apostolate. I don’t necessarily fear rejection, rather, I fear damaging relationships with loved ones. I wince at the dichotomy in that statement. If I loved them as Christ would have me love them, I wouldn’t flinch at doing whatever I could to bring them to fully realize His love for them.

This reminds me of a story which, I think, is attributed to the Venerable Archbishop Fulton Sheen. He spoke of two men, business partners and friends, one Christian and the other atheist. The atheist was on his death bed when his friend asked him if he’d like to be baptized before he passed away. The dying atheist replied, “No. If you care for and love me that much, why did you wait until now to invite me to know your Christ?”

Perhaps my fear is based more on misunderstanding than anything else. If a person to whom I am trying to evangelize has no concept of the eternal love Christ has for us, then they aren’t able to understand my love for them. And, if they don’t understand me, they’ll reject me.

It’s ironic that the person being evangelized may also feel misunderstood and rejected. If, in our attempt to evangelize, we try to impose our beliefs on them without taking the time or effort to meet them where they are and to understand their paradigm, we will most certainly alienate them.

Thus, rather than stand on the street corner and obnoxiously preach through a loud speaker, or go door to door beating people over the head with our faith, how do we reach out to others? I believe the secret is patiently and gently getting to know the other person so that they can hear and feel the love of Christ that is flowing through us, and see our joy of living a Christ life.

But, in today’s culture of electronic communications, it is getting more difficult to build personal relationships and get to know other people. Try as we might, face to face communication is uncomfortably difficult for many people, especially for our younger generation. How do we, then, crack the ice? I think the answer is to care about the other person with a desire to enter into empathetic conversation with the intention of getting to know and understand them. An attempt to understand breeds acceptance. With acceptance comes openness. And with openness comes an attitude of sharing, of giving and receiving.

Why do I believe this? I have seen it practiced by friends who live it intrinsically and who have brought more people closer to Christ than anyone else in our immediate faith community. I know this because they did it to me. It was their friendship, the intentional relationships they built with me when I was an unbeliever, that brought me to know Jesus Christ.

Well, now that I’ve talked my way through this, I need to go back to the idea of fear and ask myself, “Where is the source of fear in taking the simple approach of making and being a friend?”

None that I can see.

I would love to hear your thoughts and comments about any fears you have or have had with respect to evangelizing. I hope my talking myself through this helps you, too. God bless you!

“Lord Jesus, as I try to bring others closer to You, help me to remember to open my heart and let You work through me, Your instrument; and that You are in the lead and I’m following You. Lord, You have given me the grace to overcome my fear of evangelizing to others. Now, I pray that You give me the virtues of perseverance to not give up, and patience to not try to evangelize the world all at once. Amen.”

(Overcoming the Fear of Evangelizing was first published on the blog Reflections of a Lay Catholic)

©2013-2018 Reflections of a Lay Catholic. Reposting and sharing of material in its full and original content is permitted, provided that full and clear credit is given to the author(s) and Reflections of a Lay Catholic.

Re-Gifting

30 Tuesday Jan 2018

Posted by in Charity, Christian Community, Communion, Eucharist, Friendship, Love, Prayer

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imagesThis morning as I knelt before Your altar I gave You thanks for all my prayers, my work, my joy and my sufferings. Then, I offered them up to You as a gift for You to use and apply towards the intentions of all my family and friends, and especially for the intentions of the Holy Father.

You took my gift, transfigured it, and re-gifted it to me in the form of pure love – Your Body, Blood, Soul and Divinity in the Holy Eucharist. More love than I myself can fathom. In return, all You ask is that I recognize Your presence in everyone I meet and re-gift all that I can’t use to others who need it. And, that’s just about everybody.

Tomorrow we’ll repeat the process. Same gift. Different day.

Amen.

(Re-Gifting was first published on the blog Reflections of a Lay Catholic)

©2013-2018 Reflections of a Lay Catholic. Reposting and sharing of material in its full and original content is permitted, provided that full and clear credit is given to the author(s) and Reflections of a Lay Catholic.

Finding Rest in the Desert

04 Saturday Feb 2017

Posted by in Renewal

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“[Jesus] said to them, ‘Come away by yourselves to a deserted place and rest a while.’”                     – Mark 6:31 NAB

In today’s Gospel, Jesus instructs His apostles to take a break from their travels and their mission of preaching repentance and healing of unclean spirits. Two by two, they have been separated and away from Jesus for quite some time.  They are tired and dirty.  They have healed many but have been rejected by many, also.  They’re ready for some downtime and time to re-energize.

As I heard the lector read this verse from the Gospel of Mark this morning at mass, I reflected on my own experience and realized that Jesus, as always, hit the nail on the head. For me, it has always been when I have retreated to a “deserted” place for rest and reflection that I have, afterwards, found myself refreshed and renewed in my faith and closer to Jesus.

My first experience was five years ago when I attended a Christ Renews His Parish (CRHP) retreat weekend at our parish church. My decision to go on the retreat was based not on getting closer to Jesus or to increase my faith, for I wasn’t Catholic nor remotely religious, but to hide from the daily struggles of work, and trying, unsuccessfully for the most part, to bring some balance to my life.  I also hoped to meet some men and make some new friends.  I did meet many men and made many new friends – not just acquaintances but lifelong brothers.  And, more importantly, I found God and the love of Christ.  My life was transformed and it hasn’t been the same since.  I became Catholic one year later.

Following that CRHP experience, I met regularly with some of those new friends on a regular basis in a quiet room at our church or at each other’s homes. They were special times, ones which would have required a natural disaster to keep me away.  We talked about how we had seen God working in our lives, and we opened up and shared the difficulties we were trying to overcome.  We chose scripture passages to read and discuss.  We learned from each other and we encouraged each other and we formed brotherly bonds.

With pressures from work seeming to increase, I wanted more of this type of respite. I began attending Bible studies and other opportunities to learn and deepen my faith, including weekly Adoration of the Blessed Sacrament.  Along with spending time with my wife, these encounters were the things which brought me peace.

In wanting to learn more about my faith, I jumped at the invitation to attend a Cursillo weekend where I could again spend a restful few days in reflection and fellowship with other men. Like CRHP, it was a life changing experience.  As a follow-up to Cursillo, monthly Ultreya meetings and weekly discussions of our prayer life, what we are doing to grow our faith, and what we are doing to bring others to Christ, keep me grounded and help direct my attention away from worldly strife.

Through these experiences, I have learned to take advantage of other opportunities for silence, solitude and time for prayer when I am away from my home field and friends. At those times, my “desert” becomes a rolling mountain stream, a peaceful perch overlooking a valley, holding a sleeping grandchild in my arms, or just about any place where I can marvel at His many miracles.

rock-creek

One of my favorite places to rest and listen to God – Rock Creek, west of Red Lodge, Montana.

I have probably read that verse from Mark several times but it never hit home until today. Before mass was over I took time to say a prayer of Thanksgiving for giving me the desire to want to find my own isolated “desert”, and to take time for rest and recharging by the best power source there is, Jesus Christ.

Where is your “desert”? Where do you go to find peace and quiet?  Do you make the time to go?  Do you go there with the intention of spending time with Jesus and letting him recharge you?  You should!  Go!  Look for the opportunities.  Attend a retreat such as Christ Renews His Parish or Cursillo.  Schedule time to meet with faithful men and women from whom you can grow your faith and who will lift you up with encouragement.  If this is new to you, signing up for a Bible study at your church is a good place to start.  The important thing is to seek Him.  Seek Him in a place that offers a measure of solitude and silence where you can listen to God, perhaps through others, and speak to Him in prayer.  You will find Him and you’ll be glad you did.

“O, loving and gracious God, I give You thanks for arranging our first meeting where I learned of and felt Your immense love for me. Thank You for rewarding me with Your peace each and every time I have come back to You.  Your love increases my faith, and my faith brings me hope for a life of eternity with You.  Amen.”

(Finding Rest in the Desert was first published on the blog Reflections of a Lay Catholic)

©2013-2017 Reflections of a Lay Catholic. Reposting and sharing of material in its full and original content is permitted, provided that full and clear credit is given to the author(s) and Reflections of a Lay Catholic.

The Big Stuff

06 Sunday Nov 2016

Posted by in Faith

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holy-eucharistI don’t know if it’s just the time of year, or the change in the weather, or some straggling ragweed still in the air, but I felt puny all last week. I decided to take Friday off and I made a 9:15 a.m. appointment to see my doctor.  On Thursday night before bed I told my wife that I was looking forward to sleeping in an extra hour or two.  Then she asked me if I would like to go to 7:30 a.m. mass with her, something I never get to do because of my work hours.  I replied I would be glad to, but then thought to myself I need to change that “hour or two” of extra sleep to just one hour.

Melinda woke before me on Friday morning and was already down stairs when I rolled out of bed. We met up after I showered and dressed and, unlike every normal work day, I had a chance to give her a big hug and good morning kiss.  I growled, “I love you”, in my broken voice that was about two octaves lower than normal.  Melinda replied, “You don’t sound too good!”, to which I said, “I feel great, I got an extra hour of sleep and I’m getting to hug you this morning.  My day is starting off fabulously!”  She responded, “Boy, it just takes little stuff to get you feeling good.”  I didn’t tell her but I thought, “No, darling, this isn’t little stuff.  This is big stuff.  This is why I decided I’m going to retire.  These little moments of intimacy are the big reward.  They’re what makes life worth living.”

We went to mass and got there a couple minutes late. I seldom get to go to weekday masses and always get a little confused with the slightly abbreviated version as compared to the usual Sunday mass.  In one way I miss the hymns (the people around me probably didn’t miss my singing!) but then without them it gets me to the Celebration of the Eucharist that much quicker.  Receiving Holy Communion is always the high point of my day.  As I accepted the Blessed Sacrament I marveled at how that one little round disk, which just a few moments earlier was simply a wafer of bread, can, with its transformation, transform one’s whole life.  And, then, with a glance towards the crucifix which hung above the altar, I thought, “That’s not just a little round wafer of bread, no, that’s BIG stuff!  Bigger than BIG!  It is truly the body of Christ!”  Upon kneeling back at my pew I gave thanks to Jesus for the unity with Him, for His nourishing my spirit, for His forgiveness of my sins and for the grace to avoid sinning, and for giving me the grace to listen to the Holy Spirit and let it fill my heart with love.  Yeah, that’s real big stuff.  It’s what makes life worth living.

Later that afternoon, I had the opportunity to join a friend to talk about our faith. We meet weekly to share with each other how our prayer life has been going over the last week, what we’ve been doing to study and grow our faith, and what actions we have taken to spread the word of God or bring Christ to others.  We’ve found that this weekly exercise helps us hold each other accountable so that we don’t get lazy in our faith.  It only takes an hour.  To some it may seem like small talk, but to me it’s that man to man time when we can be honest with each other and we know that we can trust the other to help keep us on the right path.  More big stuff.  And, more of what makes life worth living.

I love the big stuff.  How about you?  What’s your big stuff?

“Heavenly Father, thank you for opening my eyes to the big stuff in life and helping me decide to turn away from the things that have kept me from the big stuff. As I move into retirement I pray that I can always keep the big stuff the big stuff.  But, Lord, I know I will lose focus from time to time and I pray you will gently bring me back.  Amen.”

(The Big Stuff was first published on the blog Reflections of a Lay Catholic.)

©2016 Reflections of a Lay Catholic. Reposting and sharing of material in its full and original content is permitted, provided that full and clear credit is given to the author(s) and Reflections of a Lay Catholic.