Looking Within

15 Thursday Nov 2018

Posted by Jerry Robinson in Blessed Sacrament, Eucharistic Adoration, Faith, Fear, Love

Tags

Adoration, Blessed Sacrament, Eucharistic Adoration, Fortitude, Justice, Looking Inside, Looking Within, Love, Prudence, Self Revelation, Silent Retreat, Temperance, Virtue

A couple weeks ago my gracious wife gave me the latest music CD from Jerry Jeff Walker. His mellow baritone voice, guitar style, and heartfelt story-songs have appealed to me since the early seventies. Taking my comment that I’d never seen Jerry Jeff in concert as a cue, she checked and found he doesn’t have a tour. But, she did find that he recently produced his first album in ten years. As I listened to It’s About Time, I thought it could be his best album ever.

One particular lyric that caught my attention was from the song, The Rain Song. He wrote:

“The hardest thing a man can do / Is look inside and see the truth / About himself”

That line grabbed me not just because of how simple yet profound it is, but because I’d been thinking much the same thing. There were some things weighing on my heart and I needed to work them out. I just wasn’t sure how to do it.

Then, last Wednesday, our parish offered a day of Adoration with Exposition of the Blessed Sacrament. The 1:00 p.m. to 2:00 p.m. hour for that day was void of a regular adorer so I volunteered to take it. Later, as I was driving somewhere, The Rain Song came on my stereo and within moments I heard that verse. It hit me that I needed to spend my time with Jesus in reflection looking within myself. And, since I had nothing else planned for Wednesday, I decided to spend not just one hour but a half day before Jesus in a self-imposed silent retreat.

Those hours spent in prayer, meditation and reflection were some of the best I’ve ever spent. The experience was like having a second conversion. As I prayed for the Holy Spirit to enter my heart and reveal to me the “truth”, I invited Christ to help me work through my fears. I asked Him to lead me, to give me direction, and I promised to follow. I laid it all out and then I shut up and listened. He didn’t disappoint.

Over those four hours I learned a lot about myself. And, when time was up, I knew where I stood. I knew that, to get to where I wanted to be, it would require some hard work and a measure of suffering, both born of love, but the fruits would be worth it. I knew, too, that I wouldn’t have to go it alone, that Christ’s love would be there with me every step of the way.

Jesus said, “Seek and you will find, knock and the door will be opened to you” (Mt 7:7). He convinced me last week that if I knock on His door seeking through prayer the knowledge of the Prudent thing to do, Justice in why it should be done, Temperance for knowing the right measure, and Fortitude to make it happen, He will open that door and provide the right answers. With His help it wasn’t all that hard after all.

I’m convinced, too, that the best place for this to happen is with Him in Adoration. Give it a try.

“Jesus, I love you and thank you for your most generous love. Thank you for sending your Spirit into my heart revealing to me that which I needed to hear. Thank you for the grace to come to you in prayer and for giving me the strength to do what is right and just. Amen.”

(Looking Within was first published on the blog Reflections of a Lay Catholic)

©2013-2018 Reflections of a Lay Catholic. Reposting and sharing of material in its full and original content is permitted, provided that full and clear credit is given to the author(s) and Reflections of a Lay Catholic.

Before the Cross

31 Wednesday Jan 2018

Posted by Jerry Robinson in Blessed Sacrament, Eucharistic Adoration, Love

≈ 2 Comments

Tags

Adoration, Blessed Sacrament, Cross, Crucifix, Desert, Eucharistic Adoration, Good News, Jesus, Kingdom of God, Love, silence, solitude

Jesus Crucified, Le Coup de Lance – Peter Paul Rubens

It’s amazing how time and space can be transformed when you’re in the desert. One hour of silence and solitude during Eucharistic Adoration in the real presence of Jesus can transport you into the mysteries of Christ’s life.

Yesterday, as I knelt before the Blessed Sacrament during my Holy hour, I found myself not alone, but alone with Christ. It was so quiet in the chapel that I could almost hear the flicker of the flame burning in the candle to the right of the tabernacle. Yet, I was listening to the voice of Jesus.

As I knelt on the rocky ground, I could feel the gravel digging into my knee caps. Before me, Jesus was hanging from the cross, struggling for every breath. I felt helpless and ashamed of my cowardice. To rise up and object would certainly mean my death from the Roman soldier standing nearby.

Blinking away the blood and sweat in His eyes, He looked at me. Our eyes met. I uttered, “My Lord, how can this be happening? How can you endure such torture? I cannot bear it!”

He had not enough breath to speak, but in His eyes I could hear Him say, “Because of my suffering you will have eternal peace and salvation.”

“How can I ever repay You?, I pleaded, choking on my words.

Again, I read in His eyes, “I thirst for your love. Show me your love by loving others as I have loved you. Go, let that love multiply as we did with the loaves and fishes. Spread the Good News of the Kingdom of God as I have taught you.”

The pain from the gravel beneath my knees grew worse and I blinked. I lost His gaze and He was gone.

I found myself back in the Adoration Chapel kneeling on the soft cushion of the prie-dieu with the monstrance before me. My hour was almost over. The pain in my knees was just the arthritis from growing older.

(Before the Cross was first published on the blog Reflections of a Lay Catholic)

Finding Rest in the Desert

04 Saturday Feb 2017

Posted by Jerry Robinson in Renewal

≈ 6 Comments

Tags

Adoration, Christ Renews His Parish, Cursillo, Desert, Faith, Friendship, God, Gospel of Mark, Hope, Jesus, Love, Mark 6:31, Mass, Peace, Prayer, silence, solitude, Thanksgiving, Ultreya

“[Jesus] said to them, ‘Come away by yourselves to a deserted place and rest a while.’” – Mark 6:31 NAB

In today’s Gospel, Jesus instructs His apostles to take a break from their travels and their mission of preaching repentance and healing of unclean spirits. Two by two, they have been separated and away from Jesus for quite some time. They are tired and dirty. They have healed many but have been rejected by many, also. They’re ready for some downtime and time to re-energize.

As I heard the lector read this verse from the Gospel of Mark this morning at mass, I reflected on my own experience and realized that Jesus, as always, hit the nail on the head. For me, it has always been when I have retreated to a “deserted” place for rest and reflection that I have, afterwards, found myself refreshed and renewed in my faith and closer to Jesus.

My first experience was five years ago when I attended a Christ Renews His Parish (CRHP) retreat weekend at our parish church. My decision to go on the retreat was based not on getting closer to Jesus or to increase my faith, for I wasn’t Catholic nor remotely religious, but to hide from the daily struggles of work, and trying, unsuccessfully for the most part, to bring some balance to my life. I also hoped to meet some men and make some new friends. I did meet many men and made many new friends – not just acquaintances but lifelong brothers. And, more importantly, I found God and the love of Christ. My life was transformed and it hasn’t been the same since. I became Catholic one year later.

Following that CRHP experience, I met regularly with some of those new friends on a regular basis in a quiet room at our church or at each other’s homes. They were special times, ones which would have required a natural disaster to keep me away. We talked about how we had seen God working in our lives, and we opened up and shared the difficulties we were trying to overcome. We chose scripture passages to read and discuss. We learned from each other and we encouraged each other and we formed brotherly bonds.

With pressures from work seeming to increase, I wanted more of this type of respite. I began attending Bible studies and other opportunities to learn and deepen my faith, including weekly Adoration of the Blessed Sacrament. Along with spending time with my wife, these encounters were the things which brought me peace.

In wanting to learn more about my faith, I jumped at the invitation to attend a Cursillo weekend where I could again spend a restful few days in reflection and fellowship with other men. Like CRHP, it was a life changing experience. As a follow-up to Cursillo, monthly Ultreya meetings and weekly discussions of our prayer life, what we are doing to grow our faith, and what we are doing to bring others to Christ, keep me grounded and help direct my attention away from worldly strife.

Through these experiences, I have learned to take advantage of other opportunities for silence, solitude and time for prayer when I am away from my home field and friends. At those times, my “desert” becomes a rolling mountain stream, a peaceful perch overlooking a valley, holding a sleeping grandchild in my arms, or just about any place where I can marvel at His many miracles.

One of my favorite places to rest and listen to God – Rock Creek, west of Red Lodge, Montana.

I have probably read that verse from Mark several times but it never hit home until today. Before mass was over I took time to say a prayer of Thanksgiving for giving me the desire to want to find my own isolated “desert”, and to take time for rest and recharging by the best power source there is, Jesus Christ.

Where is your “desert”? Where do you go to find peace and quiet? Do you make the time to go? Do you go there with the intention of spending time with Jesus and letting him recharge you? You should! Go! Look for the opportunities. Attend a retreat such as Christ Renews His Parish or Cursillo. Schedule time to meet with faithful men and women from whom you can grow your faith and who will lift you up with encouragement. If this is new to you, signing up for a Bible study at your church is a good place to start. The important thing is to seek Him. Seek Him in a place that offers a measure of solitude and silence where you can listen to God, perhaps through others, and speak to Him in prayer. You will find Him and you’ll be glad you did.

“O, loving and gracious God, I give You thanks for arranging our first meeting where I learned of and felt Your immense love for me. Thank You for rewarding me with Your peace each and every time I have come back to You. Your love increases my faith, and my faith brings me hope for a life of eternity with You. Amen.”

(Finding Rest in the Desert was first published on the blog Reflections of a Lay Catholic)

©2013-2017 Reflections of a Lay Catholic. Reposting and sharing of material in its full and original content is permitted, provided that full and clear credit is given to the author(s) and Reflections of a Lay Catholic.

The Best Gift to Give at Christmas

28 Monday Dec 2015

Posted by Jerry Robinson in Christmas, Love, Prayer, Uncategorized

≈ 4 Comments

Tags

Adoration, Christmas, Jason Gray, Love

The Adoration of the Magi – Abraham Bloemaert

Merry Christmas everyone! I am blessed to have been able to enjoy the holiday with my family, especially my youngest daughter, Grace, who is home from college, and my oldest daughter, Sara, who arrived on Saturday with her husband, Andy, and our granddaughter, Elsa. I hope yours has been filled with love, too.

Even though you won’t hear Christmas music on the radio any longer; in spite of merchants tempting us to spend our money on “after – Christmas” sales; disregarding the store shelves already stocked with Valentine’s Day candy; and overlooking the Christmas decorations being taken down and stored away, for us Catholics, we are just getting into the swing of Christmas. We still have eight more days to celebrate Christmas before the Epiphany of the Lord. Thus, I have no reservations about posting and sharing my Christmas experience with you today.

My wife, Grace, my mother-in-law, and I attended Christmas Vigil Mass on Thursday night. It was a beautiful mass, the church was decorated perfectly, the choir was almost angelic – all of which provided the perfect setting for the celebration of a reverent occasion, the birth of our Lord, Jesus Christ.

Since it was already Christmas when we returned home from Mass, we took a leisurely approach in the morning by sleeping in until about half past seven. The last to rise was Grace. The difference in the level of excitement and anticipation between this child who used to not sleep at all on Christmas Eve night, and the college sophomore she is now, was obvious.

Gift opening was laid back. Gone are the days of wrapping paper and bows being flung everywhere. Our approach this year was more methodical and appreciative. When it was over, we actually remembered from whom we received each gift.

Christmas dinner was a masterpiece! My wife, Melinda, out did herself once again. I could have easily over indulged but I honored the “one-plate” rule (said rule does not restrict how high food may be piled on that one plate). Dessert, however, had to wait a couple hours. And, we were blessed with guests who accepted our invitation for dinner and to share the afternoon with us.

Since Christmas was on Friday, I excused myself for an hour and drove to church for my regularly scheduled weekly Holy hour of Adoration at four o’clock. As I knelt on the prie-dieu and gazed up at the tabernacle, the special-ness of the occasion struck me. There I was, one-on-one, with my Lord, Jesus, on His birthday.

I remembered uttering earlier in the morning when I rolled out of bed, “Good morning, Jesus, and happy birthday!”, but this was much more up close and personal. A casual, “How do you do” and, “Oh, by the way….” didn’t seem fitting.

As I do with all my prayers, I started by giving thanks for the many blessings He bestows upon me, especially the gift of my family and our love for each other. I gave thanks for His love and mercy to me, never deserved but always welcome.

I realized there was a certain amount of irony at work here. It was His birthday, but He was the one giving and I was the one receiving. Nevertheless, I wondered what gifts Jesus was hoping for on this special day.

The first which came to mind was our gratitude for all the gifts He gives to us. I think there are actually two gifts wrapped as one in our gratefulness: our realization that His blessings are indeed gifts given freely through His eternal love for us; and the thankfulness we extend to Him through our prayers.

Another fine birthday present I’m sure He appreciates is seeing our love for each other, especially to the needy and ones less fortunate than ourselves. And, I couldn’t help but think how He must wish we would extend that love throughout the year instead of reserving it for His birthday celebration.

Then, as I continued pondering, the words from the first two lyrics to one of my favorite Christmas songs, Easier (The Song of the Wisemen)¹ by Jason Gray, came to mind:

It’s easier to give a gift of gold

Than to give my heart for another to hold.

It’s easier.

It’s easier to give You the things I do

Than to open my life and let You walk through.

It’s easier.

Do I hide behind my offerings

While You’re hoping for the heart of me?

Am I the only gift

That You long for me to give?

In reflecting upon these words, I realized the most precious gift any of us can give the King of Kings is the gift of our own hearts. And, by extension, the best gift we can give to anyone – our family, friends, and fellow human beings in general – is the same: to step out from hiding behind our material gifts and give what really matters – our heart-felt love.

“Heavenly Father, please help me to be grateful for all your gifts, and to give the gift that really matters – my heart – to You, my family and to all Your children throughout the entire year. Amen.”

(The Best Gift to Give at Christmas was first published on the blog Reflections of a Lay Catholic)

©2015 Reflections of a Lay Catholic. Reposting and sharing of material in its full and original content is permitted, provided that full and clear credit is given to the author(s) and Reflections of a Lay Catholic.