The Cry Room Blues

23 Monday Apr 2018

Posted by Jerry Robinson in Christian Community, Mass

Tags

Community, Mass, Children, Cry Room, Children in church, Parents

My wife, Melinda, and I just returned home from a two-week trip to Lake Charles, Louisiana where we baby sat our 21 month old grandson, Patrick, while his parents took a mini-vacation. I thoroughly enjoyed fulfilling my role as a grandparent but I realized it’s not as easy keeping up with the little ones as it was 20 to 30 years ago.

Patrick is everything you imagine a lad of that age to be: strong-willed, busy, and rambunctious. And, loud. While he is still trying to form words intelligible to the rest of us, he is pretty sure his vocabulary is second to none and he wants to tell you, and the folks in the next county, all about it.

My daughter and son-in-law were out of town Thursday through Wednesday, which meant we either had to split up on Sunday to go to mass or, if we were to go together, take Patrick with us. Although I’m the father of four daughters, they were all grown before I became Catholic and began going to church with my wife. She had all the experience of taking our older three to church, all of whom were diaper-clad at the same time, and I had none. Thus, I deferred to her best judgement when she said, “Let’s take him with us.”

We decided to attend Our Lady Queen of Heaven Church that Sunday morning and on the way Patrick started showing signs of crankiness. By the time we parked and went inside, the decision was made to partake of mass from the sound-proof cry room. By the time mass began, a half dozen or so other families felt it best to do the same.

Now, the only church I’ve attended regularly is my home church. St. Francis de Sales in Lebanon, OH, and it does not have a cry room. Instead, it has a large foyer, or gathering space, in which parents can take their kids if things get out of hand. I’ve seldom seen more than one or two parents out there who are trying to keep their eyes on their kids and their ears on the Liturgy filtering through the speakers. Rather, most kids are with their parents in the sanctuary and are respectfully quiet. But, I know that Cheerios, juice boxes, Hot Wheels and stuffed animals are all employed for that purpose. I normally sit towards the front of the church and, although I can’t see the young ones back there, I know of their presence by the squeals they occasionally make.

So, I was surprised as I sat in the cry room at OLQH listening to the infants expressing their displeasure about whatever, and watching the toddler / juvenile delinquents run wild oblivious to their parent’s whispered objections. Of course, by this time, Patrick had fallen asleep in his grandmother’s arms with an angelic calmness on his cherubic face. But, it was too late to get up and reposition to the church proper. We were stuck.

Try as I might, I couldn’t concentrate on the mass. The priest’s homily was 27 minutes and I lost focus after the seven minute mark. My attention was on the ruckus going on within the confined space we were collectively occupying. And, more than once, I said a silent prayer of Thanksgiving for “Saint Melinda” for putting up with all this nonsense all those years without me by her side to help. I owe her.

In thinking about the poor parents who make the sacrifice to go to mass and put their patience on the line, the phrase, “I’ve got the cry room blues”, popped into my head. By the time we left church I had half the song written in my mind. On the way home this weekend I tweaked it a bit and added one more verse. I feel obliged to share it with you here:

The Cry Room Blues
(Lyrics by Jerry Robinson with an imagined Memphis bluesy melody)

Gonna go praise the Lord today,
Gonna hear me some o’ that Good News.
I say I’m gonna go praise the Lord today,
Gonna listen to all the Good News.
But all I hear is my baby screaming the Sunday morning cry room blues.

I’d love to sit a bit closer to You,
Up front in the first few pews.
O, Lord, I’d love to sit a bit closer to You,
Up front in the first few pews.
But I’m trapped here in this cry room while my baby’s singing the blues.

My baby needs a diaper change,
Somewhere he’s lost his shoes.
I say my baby needs his diaper changed,
And somewhere he’s lost his shoes.
Now baby’s giving his daddy the Sunday morning cry room blues.

The old folks ain’t got no sympathy,
They’ve all paid their dues.
I say the old folks got no sympathy,
‘Cause they’ve all paid their dues.
Yeah, they’ve done their time singing the Sunday morning cry room blues.

Now, before you think me evil or cold-hearted, let me say that the experience brought me a new-found respect for any parent who chooses to bring their child to church. You could do otherwise and all of us, the parents, children and the rest of us as the whole Body of Christ would suffer. I applaud you! Please don’t stop, especially if you’re afraid to come because your church doesn’t have a cry room. Your squealing and squirming saints-to-be are the future of the church. And, whether you know it or not, they’re watching every move you make. Keep being good examples and good parents! The rest of us have “been there and done that” and understand it’s a right of passage. My wife and many others have successfully made it. You will too. God bless you all!

“Lord, thank You for all the parents who sacrifice their sanity for the greater good of bringing their children to You. Please give them the grace to continue forming their children in Your ways. And, thank You for providing my wife with the patience and fortitude to do the same with our daughters while I chose to sit it out. Amen.”

(The Cry Room Blues was first published on the blog Reflections of a Lay Catholic)
©2013-2018 Reflections of a Lay Catholic. Reposting and sharing of material in its full and original content is permitted, provided that full and clear credit is given to the author(s) and Reflections of a Lay Catholic.

A Monday Morning Blessing

19 Monday Mar 2018

Posted by Jerry Robinson in Christian Community, Faith

≈ 7 Comments

Tags

Children, Communion, Community, Explorers, Faith, Federation of North American Explorers, Future of the Church, Living Saints, Mass, Men of Character, Service

The flag of the Federation of North American Explorers

As I pulled into our church’s parking lot this morning for 7:30 a.m. mass I nearly ran into the back end of a tour bus. The bus was a traveling billboard for a Country and Western radio station so, filled with curiosity, I could hardly wait to see which Grand Ol’ Opry star was visiting St. Francis de Sales Catholic Church in Lebanon, Ohio.

When I walked through the doors of the church it was obvious there was not a country music star in attendance. Instead, there were what looked like fifty Boy Scouts sitting in the first few pews on Joseph’s side. Taking my usual place abreast from them on Mary’s side, I noticed their neckerchiefs, “Smokey-the-Bear” style hats or berets, khaki shirts, navy shorts and knee socks. The boys appeared to be in age from seven or eight years old to their late teens. But, looking out of the corner of my eye so as not to appear to be staring, I realized the patches and insignia were different than one would normally see on a BSA uniform.

As mass proceeded, I noticed that each boy, and each accompanying similarly attired adult, followed the mass to the letter. Then, as we walked forward to take communion, each boy dropped to both knees in genuflection before the Blessed Sacrament and took communion from our priest on the tongue rather than receive it by hand. Not only was I curious about who these kids were, I was tremendously impressed! They took their faith and adoration of Jesus in the Eucharist seriously!

After our priest gave the final blessing, I was further impressed when our guests knelt again, sang a song and prayed the St. Michael the Archangel intercessory prayer before standing and recessing in an orderly fashion. It was refreshing to see their love for the Lord instead of how fast they could get out of church.

Back in the foyer, our church’s gathering space, I just had to introduce myself to some of the men who appeared to be the leaders of the group. I wanted to know more about them. I learned they were not Boy Scouts, rather they were were Explorers in the Federation of North American Explorers (FNE). They were on their way home to Toronto, Canada from a trip to Florida and Georgia. They stopped by our community outside of Cincinnati because the only FNE chapter in Ohio is based at our sister parish, St. Philip the Apostle, in Morrow, Ohio.

Parochial Vicar and Priest at St. Philip the Apostle, Fr. Eric Wood, surrounded by the Holy Trinity Chapter of the FNE.

Luckily, the gentleman with whom I was speaking was the leader of the local group. He gave me a few minutes of his time before he had to leave to take his group of hungry boys to a local restaurant for a buffet breakfast.

He explained that the Federation of North American Explorers is a Catholic faith-based, single gender, youth program that interweaves faith into the regular program of weekly meetings, field trips, seasonal camping trips, summer camps and international travel excursions. Groups of boys are led by men, and groups of girls are led by women. And, before having to rush to catch up with his charges, he told me his mission is to “Save souls and create living saints” out of these boys.

After I got home from mass, I searched on-line for the Federation of North American Explorers and I found their website Federation of North American Explorers. I became even more impressed!

There are 22 FNE groups across the United States and seven groups in Canada. The webpage explicitly states that they actively embrace and participate in the celebration of the Eucharist, pray together for each other, their families, and others in need, pray the Rosary together, and attend Eucharistic Adoration. They grow through service to others including feeding the poor and visiting the elderly.

Non-Catholic Christians are invited to join and participate in all activities except for reception of the Sacraments. The organization promotes respect for members of other faiths as part of their daily lives.

The intent of the FNE program is to shape “the character, social, environmental, spiritual, and leadership aspects of the child into his or her adult life.” They “deliver a Christ-centered program experience where each member strives to become an Ordinary Saint through love, service, hard work, dedication, honesty, integrity, compassion, courage, prudence and by embracing the Sacraments of the Church.”

The FNE is recognized as a private pontifical association of faithful by the Holy See as well as by local Archdioceses as a Catholic Lay Movement.

I was particularly impressed with the 10 points of “The Explorer’s Law”, those virtues that build character, and consisted of, among other things: honor, loyalty, service and charity. Each law is stated and then explained for clarity. The one that particularly caught my attention was:

Law #3 – An Explorer is made to serve and save his neighbor. “You cannot be a follower of Christ unless you are willing to sacrifice yourself for others, and the motive must always be for our Lord’s own sake….An Explorer must be prepared, first, by learning everything he can which can make him useful, and then by being always on the watch for the ‘good turn’ which he can do….There is one ‘good turn’ which you can do for anybody at any time, i.e. say a prayer for them. In this way you can give great help to many who need it, even if it is out of your power to be of use to them in any other way.”

As I learned more about the FNE, I felt a sense of relief. In a world that is consumed by individualism, relativism and materialism, to find an organization that is developing our future generations into Catholic men of character is a true breath of fresh air!

I love God-moments like these first thing in the morning, especially Monday mornings!

If readers in the Cincinnati/Lebanon, Ohio area are interested in the local chapter of FNE, you may contact Mr. Mark Glaser at holytrinityfne@gmail.com.

“Heavenly Father, I give you thanks for the adult volunteers who donate their time and energy to develop our children, the future of our Church, into Christ-loving men and women of character. Amen.”

(A Monday Morning Blessing was first published on the blog Reflections of a Lay Catholic)

©2013-2018 Reflections of a Lay Catholic. Reposting and sharing of material in its full and original content is permitted, provided that full and clear credit is given to the author(s) and Reflections of a Lay Catholic.

Thoughts on The Fate of Infants Who Die Without Being Baptized

22 Thursday Feb 2018

Posted by Jerry Robinson in Death, Faith, Hope

≈ 6 Comments

Tags

Baptism, Catechism, CCC1257, CCC1261, Children, Faith, Jn 16:12, Jn 3:5, Limbo, Mercy, Mk 10:14, Unbaptized Children

Last September I was introducing myself to a group of men with whom I would be spending the next six months in formation for an upcoming retreat presentation. Like everyone else, I gave a brief bio of my life: family, childhood, career, etc.

Fast forward to a few days ago. I was recalling our team formation and how I introduced myself as the oldest of four children in my family. I suddenly realized what I told everyone was incorrect. I was the oldest of five.

My sister, Sandra Faye, was born on February 21, 1961. She died 57 years ago today, February 22, 1961. I never met her.

I don’t remember my parents ever talking about the experience of losing a child. I wasn’t quite four years old when the event happened so I wouldn’t have understood even if they had talked about it at the time. By the time I was old enough to understand, their hurt and heartbreak had been diminished by time and the blessing of another daughter and son for which to be thankful.

I admit that I often forget about Sandra. I seem to recall her birth only because my oldest sister also has her birthday in February. This year, as her birthday approached, I found myself wondering if our souls will one day meet in heaven.

The possibility for that eventuality, I thought, depends on two things: that I get to heaven, and, if I do make it, that she is already there. With God’s grace I’m trying to do everything I can to improve my chances of ensuring that meeting. But, our family was not a religious family and I paused to wonder, since she was not baptized, will she be there? I didn’t know the answer and knew I would need to do some research to see what scripture and Church doctrine tells me.

Our faith tells us that Baptism is necessary for salvation¹. The Church does not know of any means other than Baptism that assures entry into eternal beatitude.² In Jesus’ words, “No one can enter the Kingdom of God without being born of water and spirit.”³

With respect to Baptism, I remembered reading something written by author C.S. Lewis, “We do know that no man can be saved except through Christ; we do not know that only those who know Him can be saved through Him.”⁴ Lewis alludes to the fact that the Bible doesn’t reveal everything to us.⁵ Thus, this gave me a bit of hope that, when Jesus said what he said, he wasn’t including infants who were born but not baptized by their parents; nor given the opportunity to use their own free will or reason to be baptized; or those who were conceived but died before birth by either natural miscarriage or from malicious abortion.

Since the Bible isn’t explicit on this and many other subjects, there has been, since the Middle Ages, a theory elaborated by theologians that the souls of unbaptized infants are in a state of limbo. Although the Church has never adopted this possibility as doctrine and doesn’t teach it, it remains therefore a possible theological hypothesis.⁶

However, the Magisterium of the Catholic Church does accept and teach that the fate of unbaptized infants is an unanswered question and states, “As regards to children who have died without Baptism, the Church can only entrust them to the mercy of God. Indeed, the great mercy of God who desires that all men should be saved, and Jesus’ tenderness toward children which caused Him to say: ‘Let the children come to me, do not hinder them,’⁷ allow us to hope that there is a way of salvation for children who have died without Baptism. All the more urgent is the Church’s call not to prevent little children coming to Christ through the gift of the holy Baptism [emphasis added].⁸

Finally, to back up what I found in the Catechism (CCC), I discovered a 2007 document published by the International Theological Commission in which the Church, driven by the urgency to address the number of unbaptized infants in our contemporary culture of relativism and religious pluralism⁹, sought to clarify the possibility of salvation of unbaptized infants. The Commission concluded by reinforcing Church doctrine that there is “serious theological and liturgical grounds for hope that unbaptized infants who die will be saved and enjoy the Beatific Vision”, and emphasized “that these are reasons for prayerful hope, rather than grounds for sure knowledge.”¹⁰

Understanding this Church teaching brought me comfort. But, I wondered, since my family were non-practicing Protestants and not Catholic, if there would be a different Protestant point of view. In doing some research into Protestant views on the subject, I found a variety of stances, depending on the Protestant denomination, but little substance that led me to believe the Protestant views are significantly different than our own.

In the end, my research, while not allowing one hundred percent certainty that Sandra is in heaven, gave me hope that she is there. It made me think, too, that, regardless if a person has been baptized, we can’t know the state of another person’s soul – only God knows that – and the only soul we can have some insight into is our own. We must place our faith and hope in God for the salvation of ourselves and others.

That’s good enough for me.

“Heavenly Father, help me to always remember that my ways are not necessarily Your ways. I give You thanks for the gifts of faith, hope and love which You have bestowed upon me through the Holy Spirit. Amen.”

_______________________

¹CCC1257, ²Ibid, ³Jn 3:5, ⁴C.S. Lewis, Mere Christianity, 1942, ⁵cf. Jn 16:12,
⁶The Hope of Salvation for Infants Who Die Without Being Baptized, ⁷Mk 10:14
⁸CCC 1261, ⁹The Hope of Salvation for Infants Who Die Without Being Baptized,
¹⁰Ibid

(Thoughts on The Fate of Infants Who Die Without Being Baptized was first published on the blog Reflections of a Lay Catholic)

Overflowing Love

03 Monday Apr 2017

Posted by Jerry Robinson in Love, Thanksgiving

≈ 14 Comments

Tags

Children, God, Grand children, Joy, Love

This morning, as I held my newest grandson, four day old Myles, my heart was overflowing with love. I looked upon his perfect face and beheld a miracle.

I glanced away for a moment and gazed upon Myles’ mother, the first of my four daughters, and remembered having the same feeling of overwhelming love almost 33 years ago. I never knew I could love something so much.

I closed my eyes and counted my blessings: five grand-children in two and a half years. I prayed silently, “Thank you, God! Your love has bestowed so many blessings on my family!”

“Your love”, I repeated. As I looked at my grandson again with tears in my eyes I realized God was looking at me in that moment, as He does in every moment, with unfathomable and eternal love in His eyes.

“Dear loving and gracious God, thank you for your many blessings, especially the blessing of children and grand-children. I pray you will watch over them all and keep them healthy and safe. Amen.”

(Overflowing Love was first published on the blog Reflections of a Lay Catholic)

©2013-2017 Reflections of a Lay Catholic. Reposting and sharing of material in its full and original content is permitted, provided that full and clear credit is given to the author(s) and Reflections of a Lay Catholic.