Do You Love Me?

04 Sunday Jun 2017

Posted by Jerry Robinson in Bible Reflections, Faith, Grace and Mercy

Tags

Commitment, Faith, John 21:15-19, Love, Sin

It’s Sunday morning and I’m still ruminating over Friday’s Gospel (John 21:15-19) and what it said to me. It hit me so profoundly that I wanted to let the message sink in so I will never forget it.

When Jesus appeared to the Eleven the third time after being raised from the dead, He ate a breakfast of bread and fish with them. Right afterwards, He pulled Simon Peter aside and asked, “Simon, son of John, do you love me?” He didn’t ask only once. No, He asked three times. And, I think, by doing so, Jesus gave Peter the opportunity to redeem himself for having denied Jesus three times before His death. I’m sure that is what was on Peter’s mind as he answered, “Yes, Lord, You know that I love You.”

But, I don’t think Jesus was trying to rub it in. He wasn’t concerned about the depth of Peter’s love for Him, rather, he was looking for commitment from the one He was appointing to lead His church.

Commitment. That’s what He asks of me, too.

It’s taken two days for that to sink in. Jesus asks me in every waking moment, “Jerry, do you love Me?” Especially every time I am on the verge of sinning. I realize now that, at those times when I’m aware of the sin I am committing, my cognizance is actually Jesus asking me, “Do you love Me?” I’m ashamed that, by my actions, I all too often respond otherwise.

Jesus asks of us only two main things to be Holy: to love God, and to love our neighbors. Every sin contradicts one or both of those commandments. Each time an action, a spoken word, or a disrespectful thought, which damages a relationship with another person, damages my relationship with the Lord. That’s not conducive to getting me to heaven.

“Jesus, You know that I love You. I resolve today to make that evident in all that I do. I know I need the help of Your Sanctifying Grace to override my occasional wavering commitment. And, when I fail, as I will, I need Your loving Mercy and Actual Grace to let me try again. Amen.”

(Do You Love Me? was first published on the blog Reflections of a Lay Catholic)
©2013-2017 Reflections of a Lay Catholic. Reposting and sharing of material in its full and original content is permitted, provided that full and clear credit is given to the author(s) and Reflections of a Lay Catholic.

Waiting to Learn – Learning to Wait

25 Thursday May 2017

Posted by Jerry Robinson in Bible Reflections, Christian Community, Evangelization, Faith

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John 16:12-13, Learning to Wait, Spiritual Mentorship, Waiting to Learn

The Trinity by Andrei Rublev

Do you remember when you were young and Christmas or your birthday was just around the corner? Perhaps you had a good idea of the presents you might expect to receive and you just couldn’t wait for the day to get there. Remember the anxiety of anticipation?

That is one of the two thoughts that went through my mind as I reflected on Wednesday’s Gospel:

“Jesus said to His disciples, ‘I have much more to tell you, but you cannot bear it now. But when He comes, the Spirit of truth, He will guide you to all truth. He will not speak on his own, but he will speak what He hears, and will declare to you the things that are coming.’” (John 16:12-13)

Once again, Jesus was talking in figures of speech and he dangled a curious carrot out there by declaring they would have to wait to learn what ‘things were coming’. In all honesty, though, what else could He do? There was no concrete way to explain what the Holy Spirit was and even if He did try there was no way the Apostles would understand it. Jesus knew they would have to experience it a little at a time….and when the time was right.

At face value, the Apostles knew Jesus was going away and He was promising to give them something special (and it had to be very special) to take His place. But, there was a hitch – they would have to wait to learn what it would be. Waiting, and its accompanying anticipation, can be agonizing.

The second thought was more personal and immediate as it relates to me, and, I know, many of my cohorts in the Spiritual Mentorship Program. We are two days into our week of training and formation, the first of four sessions over a two year period, and we are on fire! The course work and practicum presented by the two professors from the School of Faith has been the best classroom experience I’ve ever had. They present the material with incredible wisdom and conviction that makes it easy to learn and, naturally, desire more. The Sisters and Brothers of the Apostles of the Interior Life demonstrate a special spirituality that is evident in their generosity, kindness, and desire to teach; and they exude a rare happiness that can only come from an intimate relationship with Christ. We want to learn how to get a little more of what they have!

We know we have a good thing going here and we don’t want it to stop. But, we know it will come to an end on Sunday. At least for this semester. Our mentors know, as Jesus did, that we can only absorb so much at one time, that we will have to ruminate on what we’ve learned so that it will become internal to us before we can move forward to learn more. Alas, in waiting to learn more, we will have to learn to wait. The waiting, and the anticipation of the good things to come, will be agonizing….but worth it.

“Heavenly Father, through Your grace, please instill in us the virtues of Persistence as we learn methods to bring others closer to You, and of Patience as we eagerly await to learn more about our faith and how to be Your disciples. Amen.”

(Waiting to Learn – Learning to Wait was first published on the blog Reflections of a Lay Catholic)
©2013-2017 Reflections of a Lay Catholic. Reposting and sharing of material in its full and original content is permitted, provided that full and clear credit is given to the author(s) and Reflections of a Lay Catholic.

Raising Our Eyes to Jesus

12 Sunday Mar 2017

Posted by Jerry Robinson in Faith

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Tags

2 Timothy 1:8-10, Discipleship, Faith, Genesis 12:1-4, God, Jesus, Matthew 17:1-9

As Catholics, we come to church because we love the Lord. We come to receive the Body and Blood of Jesus Christ in the Eucharist. We come to profess our faith in the saving Grace of Jesus and life everlasting. But, I suspect, as in any religious congregation, there are those who come for other reasons: because it’s what they’ve always done on Sunday mornings; because they feel they need to set the example for their children; or for fear of what might happen in their after-life if they don’t. And, there are many more Catholics who simply no longer attend church either because they no longer believe or have justified and allowed worldly things to keep them away.

Today is a day we have been waiting for in our parish for several months: we begin our mission for conversion and renewal (for any Protestants reading this, think, “revival”). Over the next four days, we will have a guest speaker, Deacon Ralph Poyo of New Evangelization Ministries, who will provide insights into what keeps us from becoming the disciples – followers of the Lord – that we are called to be; and how to improve our relationship with the Lord by recognizing those things that block our path. The hope of the mission is to bring all parishioners, those strong in their faith, the luke warm and the fallen away, into a closer relationship with the Lord.

And, so, as I prepared for mass this morning by reviewing the scripture readings for the day, I couldn’t help but sense that they were cued up by God especially for our purpose.

In the first reading, from Genesis 12:1-4, we hear God telling Abram to “¹Go forth from the land of your kinsfolk and from your father’s house to a land that I will show you.” God goes on to tell Abram how he will be blessed, how from him a ‘great nation’ will be made, and how his name will be made great. Unspoken is the reality that this would be a tough journey through desert with uncertainty of what lies ahead. Abram didn’t say, “No, I don’t think so, Lord! That doesn’t sound like fun. What about all the things I will have to give up? What about my other commitments? No, Lord, I kind of like it right here where I am.” Instead, without blinking or thinking twice, “⁴Abram went as the Lord directed him.”

Then, in the second reading, 2 Timothy 1:8-10, we hear St. Paul reminding his beloved Timothy: “⁸Bear your share of hardship for the gospel with the strength that comes from God. ⁹He saved us and called us to a holy life, not according to our works but according to his own design and the grace bestowed on us in Christ Jesus before time began.” Here St. Paul is telling us that we are all called to live a holy life; and that it’s not always easy to follow the Lord. We have to use the strength the Lord gives us to say “no” to our will (the things that keep us away), and “yes” to His will that will bring us closer to Him.

Finally, the Gospel reading was Matthew’s account of the transfiguration of Jesus, Matthew 17:1-9. After Peter, James and John saw Moses and Elijah appear with Jesus on the mountain, “⁵a bright cloud cast a shadow over them” and, upon hearing God’s voice say, “This is my beloved Son, with whom I am well pleased; listen to him.”, the Apostles fell prostrate to the ground. Jesus came to them and told them to, “⁷Rise, and do not be afraid.” Then, “⁸when the disciples raised their eyes, they saw no one else but Jesus alone.” With this last line I thought how wonderful it would be if it was that easy – each time we are fearful, each time we start to let our will take control – to raise our eyes and fix them on “no one else but Jesus alone.”

Unfortunately, we tell ourselves it isn’t that easy. It’s in our fallen nature to do so. But, through the Grace of God, we have been given the gift of faith which is all that we need to give us the courage to say no to the things that keep us from Him. Sometimes we just need help being shown the way.

Deacon Poyo, I hope your talks this week enlighten and inspire me, and everyone else in our parish, to build a better relationship with Jesus, and to help our brothers and sisters do the same.

“Come, Holy Spirit, fill the hearts of Your faithful and kindle in us the fire of Your love. Send forth Your Spirit, and we shall be created and You shall renew the face of the earth. Amen.”

(Raising Our Eyes to Jesus was first published on the blog Reflections of a Lay Catholic)

©2013-2017 Reflections of a Lay Catholic. Reposting and sharing of material in its full and original content is permitted, provided that full and clear credit is given to the author(s) and Reflections of a Lay Catholic.

Seeking Signs

14 Tuesday Feb 2017

Posted by Jerry Robinson in Faith

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Tags

2 Cor 5:7, Faith, God, Jesus, Mark 8:11-13, Prayer, Scripture, Signs

Some days I simply don’t get a chance to read the daily scripture passages until the end of the day. Yesterday, like most Mondays, was this way. I got my morning prayers in before I arrived at work, but then the routine of meetings and conference calls began and lasted the rest of the day. Finally, at about ten o’clock, after a two hour drive and getting settled in my hotel room bed, I had time to read them.

Yesterday’s Gospel was from Mark 8:11-13: “The Pharisees came forward and began to argue with Jesus, seeking from him a sign from heaven to test him. He sighed from the depth of his spirit and said, ‘Why does this generation seek a sign? Amen, I say to you, no sign will be given to this generation.’ Then he left them, got into the boat again, and went off to the other shore.”

The last thing I remember before falling asleep was thinking about how the Pharisees were hell-bent on finding some way to get rid of Jesus so He would stop rocking their boat; and about how He didn’t fall to their trickery. He simply admonished them and sailed away. Shortly after four o’clock this morning, I awoke still thinking about this story, but, from a personal perspective.

In my state of half-sleep, I remembered a few years ago, before I became Catholic, or even Christian for that matter, how I would sometimes wonder about the presence of God and Jesus. I would ask, “God, if you’re really there, give me a sign so I will know for sure.” Of course, nothing happened. What I didn’t know then was that He doesn’t want us to depend on signs. He wants us to walk by faith, not by sight (2 Cor 5:7).

I remembered that weekend in April 2012 when I finally accepted God as real and Jesus as my Savior. I told my friend that I didn’t know if I believed or not because I didn’t know how to have faith. He told me to forget being so analytical and logical and just accept it. He said faith is a gift God is trying to give me through the Holy Spirit, that it was free for the taking and all I had to do was accept it. Later that night in the church, I prayed my first real heart-felt prayer, a prayer embedded with real hope. I believe I accepted, in that moment, His gift of faith because I immediately felt a sense of peace; and, not only were my prayers answered, but I began to see signs of His presence everywhere I looked.

Then, I began to think about times recently when my spiritual life has been a bit dry, when I didn’t feel I could see or feel His presence no matter what I did. I remember praying, “Come on, God, I know you’re there. Help me out here; I need to feel you with me right now.” And, then, of course, I ended up disappointed. I realized God’s not to blame; it’s me and my lack of faith.

Why does faith slip away from me? Why do I not have any trouble trusting my family and close friends but forget about God? Perhaps it’s because I’m still learning to walk by faith and not by sight. I can see and hear those people close to me; I have hard evidence that they come through for me; and they are connected to the worldly things which, unfortunately, occupy most of my time. The shame is that I know God works in my life, too; I’ve experienced it so many times. His generous blessings are tangible examples of His endless love. But, I am often blinded by the urgent, less important aspects of life and forget that He is there to lead me through those times. I am humbled that I am not nearly as faithful as I would like to believe.

Do you get preoccupied and fail to recognize the Lord’s presence in your life? How do you get your faith back on track?

“O, loving and gracious Lord, grant me the Grace to strengthen my faith in You. Help me to never forget that You are only ever one prayer of affirmation away, one whispered, ‘Jesus, I trust in You.’ And, help me, please, to always thirst for You as You do for me. Amen.”

(Seeking Signs was first published on the blog Reflections of a Lay Catholic)

The Big Stuff

06 Sunday Nov 2016

Posted by Jerry Robinson in Faith

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Tags

Big Stuff, Body of Christ, Eucarist, Faith, Friendship, God, Grace, Jesus, Love, Marriage, Mass, Thanksgiving

I don’t know if it’s just the time of year, or the change in the weather, or some straggling ragweed still in the air, but I felt puny all last week. I decided to take Friday off and I made a 9:15 a.m. appointment to see my doctor. On Thursday night before bed I told my wife that I was looking forward to sleeping in an extra hour or two. Then she asked me if I would like to go to 7:30 a.m. mass with her, something I never get to do because of my work hours. I replied I would be glad to, but then thought to myself I need to change that “hour or two” of extra sleep to just one hour.

Melinda woke before me on Friday morning and was already down stairs when I rolled out of bed. We met up after I showered and dressed and, unlike every normal work day, I had a chance to give her a big hug and good morning kiss. I growled, “I love you”, in my broken voice that was about two octaves lower than normal. Melinda replied, “You don’t sound too good!”, to which I said, “I feel great, I got an extra hour of sleep and I’m getting to hug you this morning. My day is starting off fabulously!” She responded, “Boy, it just takes little stuff to get you feeling good.” I didn’t tell her but I thought, “No, darling, this isn’t little stuff. This is big stuff. This is why I decided I’m going to retire. These little moments of intimacy are the big reward. They’re what makes life worth living.”

We went to mass and got there a couple minutes late. I seldom get to go to weekday masses and always get a little confused with the slightly abbreviated version as compared to the usual Sunday mass. In one way I miss the hymns (the people around me probably didn’t miss my singing!) but then without them it gets me to the Celebration of the Eucharist that much quicker. Receiving Holy Communion is always the high point of my day. As I accepted the Blessed Sacrament I marveled at how that one little round disk, which just a few moments earlier was simply a wafer of bread, can, with its transformation, transform one’s whole life. And, then, with a glance towards the crucifix which hung above the altar, I thought, “That’s not just a little round wafer of bread, no, that’s BIG stuff! Bigger than BIG! It is truly the body of Christ!” Upon kneeling back at my pew I gave thanks to Jesus for the unity with Him, for His nourishing my spirit, for His forgiveness of my sins and for the grace to avoid sinning, and for giving me the grace to listen to the Holy Spirit and let it fill my heart with love. Yeah, that’s real big stuff. It’s what makes life worth living.

Later that afternoon, I had the opportunity to join a friend to talk about our faith. We meet weekly to share with each other how our prayer life has been going over the last week, what we’ve been doing to study and grow our faith, and what actions we have taken to spread the word of God or bring Christ to others. We’ve found that this weekly exercise helps us hold each other accountable so that we don’t get lazy in our faith. It only takes an hour. To some it may seem like small talk, but to me it’s that man to man time when we can be honest with each other and we know that we can trust the other to help keep us on the right path. More big stuff. And, more of what makes life worth living.

I love the big stuff. How about you? What’s your big stuff?

“Heavenly Father, thank you for opening my eyes to the big stuff in life and helping me decide to turn away from the things that have kept me from the big stuff. As I move into retirement I pray that I can always keep the big stuff the big stuff. But, Lord, I know I will lose focus from time to time and I pray you will gently bring me back. Amen.”

(The Big Stuff was first published on the blog Reflections of a Lay Catholic.)

©2016 Reflections of a Lay Catholic. Reposting and sharing of material in its full and original content is permitted, provided that full and clear credit is given to the author(s) and Reflections of a Lay Catholic.

Peace Be With You

09 Sunday Oct 2016

Posted by Jerry Robinson in Discernment, Faith, Hope, Love, Prayer, Spirituality

≈ 10 Comments

Tags

1 Thesselonians 5:18, Authentic Life, Faith, God, Holiness, Hope, Jesus, John 14:27, Legitimate Needs, Love, Matthew Kelly, Peace, Prayer, Retirement, Sign of Peace, Spirituality

At the sign of peace during Mass on a Sunday morning a few months ago I smiled and uttered, “Peace be with you!” to those around me. As they did the same to me I thought to myself, “Thank you, but, actually, I’m not at peace. It’s more like turmoil. My life is incongruent with the life I would like to be leading.” I knew I was living what Henry David Thoreau called, “a life of quiet desperation.”

I was quick to blame the stress of my job, the expanding corporate bureaucracy, and a huge increase in travel away from home, for my discontent. In my 31 years of management with my employer I had never felt such disharmony.

peace-be-with-you-hotel-room-key-cards-2

Just a few of the hotel room key cards I’ve collected over the last two years.

I knew the real rub, however, was that my job demanded so much of my time that there were huge voids in my personal life. Voids I could no longer ignore: my health was suffering; my relationships weren’t thriving; I was doing very little to stimulate myself mentally; and, because of extensive work related travel, I struggled to find time to pray as I ought, and I desperately missed the fellowship and sharing of my faith with other men in my community.

Since becoming Christian, I have believed that God has placed me here for a purpose. Thus, I found myself praying often for guidance from the Holy Spirit to learn what God’s will is for me. A semblance of an answer came to me during an Adoration hour, not while I was striving to understand the future, but as I reflected on the past. I sensed His will for me up to this point in my life had been to provide for my wife and family. I thought I had done well but I counted the cost and estimated roughly 20 percent of my working life had been spent away from home and family. In that moment I knew one of the things He wanted me to do with the rest of my life was to be the disciple, husband, father, grandfather, son, brother, and friend He designed me to be. Clearly, my new purpose would be to pour my love into those relationships and grow them to a deeper level of intimacy.

I don’t think it was coincidence that shortly after this revelation I was reading a book by Matthew Kelly in which he wrote about becoming fully the person God created us to be and living the authentic life He created us to lead. Kelly talked about how living an authentic life helps us reach the essential purpose of our Christianity – Holiness. And, with respect to the physical, emotional, intellectual and spiritual “legitimate” needs God created in us he wrote, “When we hear these deepest desires calling us forth, we hear the voice of God.” I realized God was calling me to fill that void by fulfilling those needs.

But, I saw a catch. I knew I couldn’t give my all to His plan and perform my job as I should. That only left one alternative – retirement. And that was a scary thought. I’m not quite 60 years old. Retirement would mean not earning a paycheck every two weeks. It would mean purposefully living within my means and my means were nothing more than what I had saved.

I also feared falling into the trap of mistakenly fantasizing that my life would magically be better once I retire. Many retirees believe that spending a life of leisure on their boat, on the golf course, or taking exotic vacations, will bring them happiness. For some it might but, for most, pleasure seeking doesn’t bring lasting happiness. I didn’t want that to be me. I was happy to accept that my purpose would not be pleasure focused or to accumulate more stuff, but to seek God and find happiness by satisfying the essential needs He intended for me.

After more prayer and discussion with my wife, I concluded I needed to retire. I couldn’t ignore the Holy Spirit’s call to refocus my life. As for my financial wherewithal, I accepted that I would have to have faith that my needs would be met. But, just in case, and afraid of what I might discover, I finally decided to consult with a retirement planner. When his report came back I was pleasantly surprised to find that we should be able to live comfortably for the rest of our lives.

Having made up my mind, I only needed to tell my boss of my intention to retire. Because the driver for my decision to retire was stress induced unhappiness, I wasn’t sure what I would tell him, without sounding bitter and negative, if he asked why I decided to retire. As I thought about this during the drive to where we were meeting everything became perfectly clear. All the things that had kept me from being satisfied were simply steps in the process of God calling me to move on and to fulfill those God-given needs. In that instant I recalled 1 Thessalonians 5:18 (NAB), “In all circumstances give thanks, for this is the will of God for you in Christ Jesus.” The bitterness I felt evaporated. I forgave everyone whom I had previously blamed for creating the stress in my life, as well as myself for my own personal contribution. And, instead of being negative, I praised God for the suffering that pushed me to hear His call.

Last Tuesday when I told my boss of my intention I felt as though a huge weight had been lifted from my shoulders. I know the remaining days between now and the day I retire will be enjoyable and productive because I have a new purpose: to live a healthier, less stressful life; to grow emotionally by bringing more intimacy to my relationships; to help and serve others; to grow intellectually; and to grow spiritually by getting closer to Jesus, and having the time to apply the Gospels to my life every day.

I’m not sure what direction my life will go or exactly what I will do in retirement. But I’m sure it will be an adventure as God unveils new sources of happiness.

This morning at Mass during the sign of peace, when my brothers and sisters shook my hand and said, “Peace be with you!” I thought, “Thank you, by the Grace of God, it is.”

Peace be with you all.

“Heavenly Father, thank You for sending Your Holy Spirit to help me see and hear Your call. I sometimes wish, though, that You would make it just a little easier for me to do so. Amen.”

(Peace Be With You was first published on the blog Reflections of a Lay Catholic)

A Joyful Hour

11 Sunday Sep 2016

Posted by Jerry Robinson in Evangelization, Faith, Love, Prayer, Renewal, Road Trips

≈ 5 Comments

Tags

Faith, Joyful Mysteries, Love, Prayer, Renewal, Rosary

The Finding of Jesus in the Temple

Yesterday morning as I was leaving home for a road trip from Ohio to Kansas City, and then on to Rapid City, South Dakota, I was, like always, looking forward to the drive, to spending some valuable one on one time with my wife, and to seeing family at each destination. But, there was a small part of me wishing I was somewhere else.

At the same time I finished putting the kitchen sink in the car and driving down our driveway, several friends were at our church greeting the ten men who, for the next 30 hours, would be opening themselves up to be transformed by the Holy Spirit at a Christ Renews His Parish retreat weekend. My friends would be leading and facilitating the weekend, a labor of love for which they had been preparing for the last six months, a divine and fraternal bonding I have experienced three times myself.

Even though I wasn’t part of the Giving Team this time around I still wanted to participate in some way. Since I was going to be out of town, I opted to take an hour over the weekend to pray for the men on both the Receiving and Giving teams. My hour of the 30 hour prayer chain was at 3:00 p.m., an hour that found me between Vandalia, Illinois and St. Louis, Missouri.

As I drove across Indiana I wondered how I could best pray for the men on the weekend and still drive. As I fingered the cross around my neck, the same cross I received four and a half years ago when I went on my first Christ Renews weekend, I decided the easiest thing to do would be to pray a rosary as part of my prayer hour. My wife, Melinda, agreed to join me.

When three o’clock arrived we took out our rosaries and I inserted my special rosary CD as recited by Fr. Rob. It was Saturday so we would be praying the Joyful Mysteries.

With the first mystery, The Annunciation of the Angel to Mary, I gave thanks that Mary said “Yes” to God. Then, I thought, “Lord, please let the men on this weekend say ‘Yes’ to the Holy Spirit, let them accept God’s plan. Let them find their humility in the safety of this retreat such that they can hear His voice and be obedient to His will for them. Amen.”

At the pause before the next mystery, I stopped long enough to realize that I had not just prayed the rosary in rote memorization; I had actually let the spirit of the mystery work itself into my prayer for the men. I thought, “Let’s see what happens with the next one.”

As I prayed the second mystery, The Visitation of Mary to Saint Elizabeth, I thought about how, out of love, Mary carried God to her cousin. This was exactly what the men on the Giving Team were doing so I prayed, “Lord, please fill the men on the Giving Team with the Holy Spirit so that they, too, may carry Your Love to the men whom they are serving this weekend. Lord, please let the Receivers accept their gift of charity with gratitude. Amen.”

I liked the way this was going. I gave a brief prayer of thanksgiving for allowing me to think and express what was in my heart.

The third Joyful Mystery is The Nativity of Jesus in Bethlehem. As I recalled how Joseph, Mary and the shepherds adored Jesus, I prayed that the men on the weekend would see Christ in each other and, in so doing, increase their love for Him and one another.

With the fourth Joyful Mystery, The Presentation of Jesus in the Temple, I thought about how it was revealed to Simeon through the Holy Spirit, that Jesus was the Messiah. I prayed, “Lord, let the men on this weekend also have it revealed to them through the Holy Spirit that Jesus is truly the Messiah. Amen.”

As I recited the fifth Joyful Mystery, The Finding of Jesus in the Temple”, I thought about the anxiety that Mary and Joseph must have felt losing their son and the joy they must have felt when they found Him again in the temple. I prayed, “Lord, let the men on this weekend, who may have been away from Jesus, also experience the joy of finding Him again. Let them find comfort and safety in His presence. Amen.”

I finished out my hour of prayer by simply recalling my experience when I was in their shoes; how the witnesses given by the men of the Giving Team broke down the walls I had constructed to keep Jesus out of my life, and how, through the Holy Spirit, I was transformed. I prayed that through that same transformation process, the ten men there this weekend would be renewed in their faith.

“Mother Mary, please take these prayers and, through your intercession with Jesus, ask Him to open the minds of these men to His word, and to renew their hearts, through the Holy Spirit, by kindling in them the fire of His love. Amen.”

(A Joyful Hour was first published on the blog Reflections of a Lay Catholic)

The Calling

27 Saturday Aug 2016

Posted by Jerry Robinson in Bible Reflections, Evangelization, Faith, Friendship, Renewal, Saints

≈ 4 Comments

Tags

Evangelization, Faith, Friendship, Gospel of John, HolySpirit, Renewal, St. Bartholomew, St. Philip

⁴⁵Philip found Nathanael and told him, “We have found the one about whom Moses wrote in the law, and also the prophets, Jesus, son of Joseph, from Nazareth.” ⁴⁶But Nathanael said to him, “Can anything good come from Nazareth?” Philip said to him, “Come and see.” ⁴⁷Jesus saw Nathanael coming toward him and said of him, “Here is a true Israelite. There is no duplicity in him.” ⁴⁸Nathanael said to him, “How do you know me?” Jesus answered and said to him, “Before Philip called you, I saw you under the fig tree.” ⁴⁹Nathanael answered him, “Rabbi, you are the Son of God; you are the King of Israel.” ⁵⁰Jesus answered and said to him, “Do you believe because I told you that I saw you under the fig tree? You will see greater things than this.” ⁵¹And he said to him, “Amen, amen, I say to you, you will see the sky opened and the angels of God ascending and descending on the Son of Man.” – Jn 1: 45-51 NAB

Wednesday’s Gospel from John made me recall exactly four years and four months earlier when I first met Jesus through the power of the Holy Spirit. My story of that first encounter, while separated and modernized by almost two thousand years, is similar to that of Nathanael (more commonly known as St. Bartholomew).

There was Nathanael minding his own business on the shore of the Sea of Galilee when his friend Philip walked up and said, “Hey, I want you to meet someone important from Nazareth.” Nathanael replied, “What? From Nazareth? I don’t think so!” But, since Philip was such a good friend, Nathanael, although doubtful, decided to go along.

Jesus used Philip as his intermediary. Jesus knew He was going to call Nathanael but He also knew Nathanael would be more likely to follow Him if he received encouragement in the form of testimony from his friend. It worked, and the rest is history.

I have no idea how many times Jesus might have called me and I wasn’t listening or I out and out rejected Him. But, I think He knew when the time was right and that I would need His disciples to lead me to Him.

Countless times I refused invitations from my friends Clay and Eric to attend men’s bible study sessions where holy men just like them shared their faith with each other. Over a period of months we, along with our wives, occasionally went out for dinner together and the conversations would inevitably turn to discussions of faith, and I would be uncomfortable. They were sowing the seeds. They were on a mission to make a friend, be a friend, and bring a friend to Christ.

Just like St. Philip, my two friends arranged the meeting. I accepted their invitation to attend a Christ Renews His Parish retreat weekend. Then, after they brought Him and me together in the same place, they stepped out of the way. That part of their job was over. The rest was up to Him. And He didn’t disappoint.

That weekend, I witnessed the Holy Spirit at work through the men facilitating the retreat. It didn’t take long before my notion about faith in Jesus changed from, “It can’t be”, to, “It might be.” Little by little, I heard The Calling. I gave an inch. He took a mile. I gave Him part of me but He wanted all of me. I was happy to oblige. Now, over four years later, I’m still giving and trying to find a way to give even more. And, what I receive in return is beyond anything I could have ever imagined! I certainly have seen “greater things”.

I owe this life to a couple close friends who weren’t afraid to live the Christ life by evangelizing and introducing me to their Lord Jesus.

It’s not easy being an apostle like St. Philip. It takes courage. It takes patience. It takes a lot of prayer. Some of us are better suited for that type of evangelization than others. But, we can all evangelize in one way or another. For me, these blog posts are one of my ways of evangelizing. What is your way? If you don’t know where to begin, you can start by following the advice of St. Francis of Assisi, “Preach the gospel, and if necessary, use words.”

“Lord Jesus, through the love of Your apostles I was led to You and You have shown me the way to eternal life. Help me, I pray, to bring Your love to others who, like I was, are seeking the fullness of life that only You have to offer. Amen.”

(The Calling was first published on the blog Reflections of a Lay Catholic)

Indirect Grace

12 Tuesday Jul 2016

Posted by Jerry Robinson in Christian Community, Faith, Fear, Grace, Love, Prayer, Thanksgiving

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Christian Community, Faith, God-moments, Grace, Love, Prayer, Rosary

It’s been a good day here in Eastern Kentucky. We worked hard repairing the bathroom floor, tub, and toilet for a gentleman. During the work and at breaks we learned his story. And we came together as a team, teaching and learning woodworking and plumbing skills and getting to know each other.

I have to admit that my mind often wandered as I worked today. I don’t think it kept me from working safely but, unfortunately, I did make a couple saw cuts in error. No, my mind wasn’t always on my work; rather, it drifted to those two new, less than a week old, grandsons whom I have yet to see. So, this post isn’t about our mission work – more will come on that later. This post is kind of a Paul Harvey “Rest of the Story” kind of story about a lesson I learned.

On Sunday I posted in Miracles that my daughter, Lisa, gave birth to her second son on Thursday of last week, two weeks early. On Wednesday morning she went in for an ultrasound and the doctor, after seeing something that didn’t look quite right, recommended inducing labor and delivering the baby as soon as possible. The situation was not life threatening to either mother or baby but it was best to introduce baby Edward to the harsh reality of life outside the womb. I claim I didn’t get the message that it wasn’t a serious issue. My wife says otherwise. But, let’s not go there.

Wednesday afternoon I left on an overnight trip to southern Indiana for business, about a four hour drive. I had a lot of time to worry about Lisa and the baby and all that could go wrong. Memories from a year and a half ago came streaming back to me of how her first son, Jack, had complications after birth and we thought we might lose him. I remembered how I prayed to Jesus with everything I had for Jack’s health. And, I remembered how, after a series of God-moments (see Put Your Faith Where Your Prayer Is) including praying the rosary and asking for the Blessed Virgin Mary’s intercession to Jesus, I was suddenly overcome with joy like I had never known, joy that instantaneously brought me a peace that broke me down to crying tears of Thanksgiving. I felt Jesus assure me that Jack would be just fine.

I wanted that same feeling last Wednesday. I wanted it so bad that I prayed continuously as I drove. I prayed two rosaries and I prayed, “Jesus, I trust in You” until my throat was dry. But, the more I prayed, the more I became discouraged. Nothing was happening. It wasn’t working. I felt ashamed of my inadequate faith.

Desperately wondering what to do next I decided I needed prayer support, someone who would and could pray for us. I remembered that day 18 months ago as I was driving from Cincinnati to Kansas City to see Lisa and young Jack. I remembered receiving a phone call on that drive from a good friend, a mother with four children of her own, and one of the best prayer warriors I know. I remembered how her words brought me such comfort which, I believe, eventually brought me to placing my full trust in Jesus.

I called her and I reached her on the second try. I explained my predicament and my worries. I confessed that even though I was repeating, “Jesus, I trust in You” over and over, I really wasn’t feeling very trustful. Once again her words helped calm me as she reminded me to simply trust in His will; that my daughter and baby are in His loving hands; to accept His Grace; and that He will not give us anything we can’t handle. She said she would pray for me, Lisa and her baby.

A few miles further down the road I received a message from my friend that she, her husband (also a very close friend) and their four children had just prayed, as a family, a decade of a rosary for us. She told me that she found her prayer very peaceful, that she had a calming peace thinking of me driving and praying the rosary. She reminded me again to lean on and have faith in the Blessed Virgin’s intercessory prayers to Jesus, and that she knew Mother Mary was holding Lisa’s hand. When I arrived at my hotel, I messaged her back thanking her and her family for all their prayers. While I had not yet had that moment of divine revelation that everything was going to be okay, I at least felt better. I was mentally exhausted and, going to bed, I immediately fell asleep.

That was the best night’s sleep I’d had in quite some time. When I awoke on Thursday morning I did something I’d never done before. I don’t know where it came from but I uttered, “God is with me. How can it be anything but a beautiful day?” As I was clearing the fog from my mind I realized I knew Lisa and baby would be just fine.

A short while later I talked to my wife. It was at this time I heard her explain that the complications with Lisa’s pregnancy were nothing to get excited or worried about.

Then, I had another revelation. I realized that my fear had been keeping me from accepting God’s Grace. I thought, “He’s probably been intent on getting His Grace to me one way or the other. If I wasn’t going to accept it directly, He would have to get it to me indirectly. So, He brought my friend to mind knowing I would trust her, that through her she would help me hear Him.”

Now it all became clear: It wasn’t Lisa or her baby who needed help. It was me.

That’s God working through the power of Christian Community.

“Lord Jesus, thank You for Your love and for continuing to shower me with Your Grace. Thank you for blessing me with friends who love me and care for my spiritual welfare and pray for me to grow closer to You. Help me to get past my fear so that I may fully trust in You. Amen.”

(Indirect Grace was first published on the blog Reflections of a Lay Catholic)

Without Cost You Have Received; Without Cost You Are To Give

08 Friday Jul 2016

Posted by Jerry Robinson in Bible Reflections, Evangelization, Faith, Grace, Scripture

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Faith, God-moments, Gospel of Matthew, Grace, Jesus sends the Apostles, Mt 10:1-15, Without Cost You Are To Give, Without Cost You Have Received

Jesus sends the Apostles c.1300 Duccio Di Buoninsegna

Jesus Sends the Apostles – Duccio di Buoninsegna, c.1300

¹Jesus summoned His twelve disciples….and said: ⁷“As you go, make this proclamation: ‘The kingdom of heaven is at hand.’ ⁸Cure the sick, raise the dead, cleanse lepers, drive out demons. Without cost you have received; without cost you are to give….¹¹Whatever town or village you enter, look for a worthy person in it, and stay there until you leave. ¹²As you enter a house, wish it peace. ¹³If the house is worthy, let your peace come upon it; if not, let your peace return to you.” (Mt 10:1, 7-13, NAB)

It’s been two and a half months since I’ve posted. I’d like to say my busy-ness has been a factor but, honestly, I haven’t felt inspired. I had three posts in four days back in April and then….nothing, not an idea, not a sign, nada. Looking back, I’m sure God spread many gems of Grace in my path but in my blindness all I saw was a gravel pit.

Fast forward to this week and suddenly I feel as though I’m drinking from a fire hose. It’s like a divine thirst quenching and God will only close the valve when He knows I am sated. Everywhere I look I see with acute clarity God working in my life: events, conversations, images, ideas, scripture, people I’ve met. I sense God telling me, “Son, I’m giving you a plethora of inspiration, now do something with it!”

But, where do I begin? I was pondering this question yesterday afternoon when I finally had a chance to read the last two day’s scripture passages. As I read the Gospel, Mt 10:1-15, it became clear where to start: heed Christ’s command to “Go”. Go and spread the Word. Jesus summoned me three years ago in my Confirmation and asked me then to share my faith with others, a directive I gladly accepted. And I have let Him down over the last 10 weeks.

I know that without cost, without asking, I have received God’s freely given Grace. My so-called “inspiration” is actually His gift to me. His expectation is for me to pass the gift along to others without cost.

Within the boundaries of my world, the sphere of influence in which I live, my opportunities to evangelize are few. This blog has been my way of spreading the Word. I know though, for the most part, that my reflections are mere preaching to the choir, that the audience I reach is already strongly Catholic.

My hope has always been that, through His Grace, my repackaging of His gift to me may reach a few who need just that little extra something to help them turn back to Him, a cure for their sickness so to speak; and occasionally reach one or two who will have a conversion experience, a driving out of demons if you will, because of a God-moment I’ve shared.

I admit I have, at times, allowed myself to become discouraged when it comes to posting and occasionally I have not posted because of it. I get few comments or feedback on my posts to tell me whether I’m connecting with my readers. I suspect that’s an indication of the quality of my content or of my writing style. But, I do the best I know how and I remind myself that I’m not in it for my ego. Thus, as I contemplated the Gospel passages above, I realized that I’m called to offer this gift with a wish of peace regardless if many choose to accept it or pass it along further. One or two is enough. And, if it’s not accepted, I need to move to the next house, or post, and let my peace return to me.

In going back to the question of, “where do I begin?” I hope to share with you several new reflections over the next few days. I hope they will cause you to reflect a moment on your own. I hope you will share them with me and others. And, I hope they bring you His peace.

God bless you all.

(Without Cost You Have Received; Without Cost You Are To Give was first published on the blog Reflections of a Lay Catholic)