Reconciliation: A Grace-Filled Turning Back to God

04 Saturday Apr 2020

Posted by Jerry Robinson in Reconciliation

Tags

CCC 1441, CCC 1442, Confession, Examination of Conscience, Jn 20:19-23, Jn 4:28, Reconciliation, Sacrament of Reconciliation

Each day this week I’ve offered related posts about sin, Spiritual Atrophy that brings about heightened opportunities to sin during these stressful times of self-isolation, and ways to recognize the sins you’ve committed (or omitted): the “Checklist”, CPR, and Analytical methods of examining one’s conscience.

So, what is the next step? You’ve utilized one of these methods and identified particular actions or attitudes that have damaged your relationship with either God, other people, or both. You’ve analyzed the seriousness of your sins, determined if they are mortal or venial, and now you feel remorse, embarrassment, or, even worse, shame for having committed them. If you’ve made it this far and genuinely have a contrite heart, you’re good to go on to the next step. If you don’t feel a real sense of remorse, then you probably ought to go back to step one and start over again.

The next step for the repentant soul is to let God love you! This means accepting that God loves you even when you are wounded and stained. It means turning back to God and loving Him in return by telling Him that you’re sorry for choosing an inferior good over Him. And, it means asking for God’s mercy, His forgiveness, and to be cleansed of your sins. Asking is necessary, for as St. Augustine said, the Lord who created you without your permission, cannot save you without your permission. We take this step by going to the Sacrament of Reconciliation, confessing our sins, and receiving His mercy even though we don’t deserve it.

I have heard many and various reasons why people don’t want to go to confession: embarrassment, shame, fear of what God will think, fear of what the priest will think, etc. It’s important to remember that God is not scandalized by our sins – He already knows what they are! We may try to justify our sins in an attempt to lessen their severity, but God can’t be fooled. He wants humility and honesty and to see that our view matches up with His. God is like a father who is not scandalized when his teenaged new driver has his or her first fender bender.

Neither will the priest be scandalized. Every priest I’ve ever talked to about reconciliation has said they rejoice when a person confesses their sins. They see it as a win/win: a victory for the Lord that we have returned, and a victory for us that our sins have been erased. A common excuse many give for not going to confession is that the priest will be surprised with your sin. This time, you’re fooling yourself. There are very few sins he hasn’t heard. The devil is not that creative! Neither will the priest remember your sins. He hears so many there’s no way he can remember them all, and he doesn’t want to. Finally, the priest is bound by a sacred seal to never repeat anything that you mention in the confessional.

Another common excuse for not going to confession is that it’s easier to just talk to God and give Him your apology. The Protestants might think that works for them but it doesn’t work for us Catholics. Sorry. We go to confession because Jesus himself invented the Sacrament of Reconciliation, not the Apostles, not any one particular pope, not the Church in general, but Jesus. (Jn 20:19-23). Also, we are human, a combination of body and soul. We need to hear with our ears that we are forgiven and we hear Jesus forgive us through the priest just as we would have two thousand years ago if it was Jesus himself. (CCC 1441-1442)

Once you’ve moved past your fears and rationale for not going to confession and decided to show up at the confessional, it’s best to know how to make a good confession. First, one needs to be completely open and honest and be frank in saying their sins. There’s no need to explain or try to justify what you’ve done. If the priest thinks it’s necessary to know, he’ll ask. Perhaps even more importantly, one needs to truly repent and demonstrate a desire to not commit that sin again by reciting an act of contrition. Then, one needs to demonstrate a desire to change and be healed by carrying out the penance assigned by the priest, and give consideration to what will be done differently to avoid that sin in the future.

A good confession is rounded out by a prayer of thanksgiving and a feeling of love shared between God the Father and you, His beloved son or daughter. This reconciliation with God and the whole Church is truly a moving experience! God gives us His own life in the form of grace that restores and heals us. It gives us the strength to do good, resist evil, and begin again. And, it remits the eternal consequences of our sin (Hell).

Another way to show gratitude for the absolution of our sins is to encourage friends and family to visit this Spring of Living Water just as the Samaritan woman did when she invited the people of her town to meet Jesus. (Jn4:28) Is there any better act of charity than to help others who are stained with sin to be cleansed and reconciled to God?

I am late getting this posted so you will not be reading it until Saturday at least. Many parishes typically offer the Sacrament on Saturdays, and still do even with the pandemic, but follow the mandated social distancing guidelines. I pray that these posts this week will have encouraged you to examine your conscience; identify those particular areas where you’ve been less virtuous than you should; and, by better understanding the Sacrament, give you the fortitude to visit Jesus and receive the Living Water that He offers. Remember, He can’t fill your cup if it’s turned upside down.

I hope you have a truly faith-filled Holy Week in spite of not being able to participate in the celebration at your church. God bless you all!

(Reconciliation: A Grace-Filled Turning Back to God was first published on the blog Reflections of a Lay Catholic)

©2013-2020 Reflections of a Lay Catholic. Reposting and sharing of material in its full and original content is permitted, provided that full and clear credit is given to the author(s) and Reflections of a Lay Catholic.

Spiritual Atrophy and the Need for an Examination of Conscience During Self-Isolation

30 Monday Mar 2020

Posted by Jerry Robinson in Reconciliation

≈ 5 Comments

Tags

Actual grace, Confession, Examination of Conscience, Ez 33:11, Jn 8:1-11, Reconciliation

I pray this finds you physically, emotionally, and spiritually healthy on this nth day of your isolation. Hang in there, this storm shall pass. Talking about storms – the thunderstorms that galloped through our area of southwest Ohio the night before last were replaced with beautiful sunshine and cloudless skies today. A sign, perhaps, to not lose hope.

Today’s Gospel is from Jn 8:1-11, the story of the adulterous woman. After Jesus challenged the accusing Pharisees to cast the first stone at the woman only if they themselves were without sin, they all departed without further condemnation. Likewise, Jesus, out of his great and merciful love told the woman, “Neither do I condemn you. Go, and from now on do not sin any more.”

In the verse before the Gospel, God speaks through His Prophet Ezekiel, “I swear I take no pleasure in the death of the wicked, but rather that they turn from their ways and live.” (Ez 33:11)

Our God is a God of second chances, and third chances, and fourth…. He loves us so much that as long as we earnestly try to turn from our evil ways, from our sinfulness, He will not condemn us. And, to allow us to receive His loving mercy and forgiveness, He has given us the Sacrament of Reconciliation. Although the communal penance services that are normally offered during Lent have, like Mass, fallen casualty to the social distancing precautions of the pandemic, confessions are still being heard on a normal and regular basis in most parishes.

I know many of you are using this time of isolation to grow spiritually in your relationship with God. You’re staying spiritually active by watching live-streamed masses, praying a Rosary daily, and living charitably by reaching out to help others in need. Perhaps you’re focused on fulfilling the obligations of your God-given vocation by getting things done around the house. Maybe you’re the husband who’s been telling your wife, “I’m going to do it, you don’t have to remind me every six months!”

I also know that for many, especially for those who have lost their jobs, or have taken on the responsibility of home schooling their children, life is difficult and frustrating. You may be in desperation mode and the last thing on your mind is your spiritual health.

But, I also suspect there are many who are using this time as a hiatus from their spiritual lives. Although it may not be intentional, their spiritual lives may have waned, or atrophied, simply because they cannot go to mass on Sundays as they have been accustomed. Atrophy is defined as “a gradual decline in effectiveness or vigor due to underuse or neglect”. It is a progressive decline that can happen so slowly we don’t even notice it.

The cure for atrophy is action – that is, to create a force to overcome the inertia of inactivity, sloth, and procrastination. Spiritually, God has given us that cure in the form of actual grace, the gift that helps us conform our lives to His will. It’s the same grace that urges us to go to the Sacrament of Reconciliation when we’re in a state of mortal sin and bankrupt of sanctifying grace.

I have been trying to stay spiritually alive during my isolation. But, after reading this morning’s Scripture I see where I’ve unconsciously neglected an important part of my daily prayer life: my nightly examination of conscience. My wife and I have taken this opportunity to do more things together and one of those things is putting together jigsaw puzzles, something we enjoy. We just finished our sixth, one thousand-piece puzzle in the last two weeks. We’ll start one after dinner and, since it takes us about six hours to complete one, we may not get to bed before one o’clock in the morning. By then I’m mentally wasted and too tired to remember to do my examen before turning in. Left unchecked, this can be a slippery slope.

God wants us to turn away from our sin and turn back to Him. The mechanism to begin that about face where we can know our sins, both mortal and venial, is through an examination of conscience. To paraphrase St. Augustine, it means to turn inward and see God as our witness in everything that we do. It means asking ourselves if we are following the Ten Commandments, the Precepts of the Church, and if we are imitating Christ by living lives of virtue. The answers will tell us what we need to work on and what we ought to take with us to the Sacrament of Reconciliation.

If you regularly make an examination of conscience, now is not the time to stop. Rather, it’s a good time to double down and concentrate on those personal faults and failings that impact our relationships since, for many, it is our relationships with family and God that are easily strained under the current circumstances of our isolation.

If you do not regularly make an examination of conscience, or if you do but want to be more thorough, I will, over the next few days, provide various methods of making a thorough examination of conscience. Check in tomorrow as I offer what I call the “Checklist” method. Until then, God bless you and stay healthy.

“Loving and merciful God, thank You for the grace to realize that I am a sinner and that I need to always bring into the light those areas where I fall. Thank You for the grace to make an examination of conscience and then, with a contrite heart, bring my sins to You in the Sacrament of Reconciliation. And, thank You for Your forgiveness, always giving me another chance to do Your will and follow the lead of Your Beloved Son, Jesus. Amen.”

(Spiritual Atrophy and the Need for an Examination of Conscience During Self-Isolation was first published on the blog Reflections of a Lay Catholic)

Advent: A Season for Healing Spiritual Paralysis

10 Monday Dec 2018

Posted by Jerry Robinson in Advent, Confession, Reconciliation

≈ 4 Comments

Tags

Advent, Confession, Friendship, Healing of the Paralytic, Love, Luke 5:17-26, Sacrament of Reconciliation

Healing of the Paralytic by Harold Copping

As I was driving to town to attend mass this morning I was running through plans for the week, trying to remember what appointments I have, what I need to be prepared for, and, especially, looking for blocks of time when my wife and I can spend some time together. I made a note that our parish has its Advent penance service this Thursday evening, and I looked forward to this being something Melinda and I could do together.

Participating in the Sacrament of Reconciliation has always been special for me. In the year before I became Catholic, while I was waiting for RCIA to begin and then throughout the formation period, I would go to Confession for “practice”. My friends would tease me about it but it felt good to make my examination of conscience, admit to my lapses in virtue. and to pray for the grace to get better. Unable at that time to receive Christ in the Holy Eucharist, Reconciliation seemed to be the best place for me to meet Jesus.

The Gospel for today was from Luke 5:17-26, the Healing of the Paralytic. I listened to our priest read about the healing of the paralyzed man whose friends lowered him from the roof of the house in which Jesus was teaching so that he might meet Jesus and be healed. And, as I pictured in my mind’s eye this man descending on his stretcher, coming closer and closer to Jesus, hoping to be healed, I thought about how it parallels my hope for forgiveness in the Sacrament of Reconciliation. What anticipation he must have felt as he was being lowered to the floor! Then, what joy he must have felt when his paralysis was cured and he stood and walked away carrying his stretcher! I thought, “I know that feeling!”

Then, my thoughts turned away from the paralytic and towards the four friends who cared enough to bring the man to where Jesus was teaching. Their faith was strong enough to not let the crowd obstruct them from arranging for the man to meet Jesus. I knew the true message of this Gospel passage was contained in Jesus’ forgiveness of their sins. Their faith and their love for their disabled friend saved them.

The paralyzed man could not get to Jesus under his own power. Instead, it took friends who loved and cared for him – friends who brought him hope.

I thought about all the people in our parish community, in our country and in the world, who, for one reason or another, are paralyzed in their faith. People who feel their sins are so severe they are too ashamed to admit them to God. Men and women, young and old, who have fallen away from their faith and now don’t think they are worthy of God’s love and forgiveness.

I thought about all these good people, all children of God, who may just need “four friends” to bring them to Christ so they can be relieved of their “paralysis”. More than likely they can make it to church on their own two feet or in their own vehicle, but they just need some encouragement to go to Confession so they can be healed. They might only need to be reminded of the joy that comes from returning to grace and feeling God’s love for them. They may only need someone, like you or me, to rekindle their hope in this Season of Hope.

We may also know someone who truly is “paralyzed” from going to the Sacrament of Reconciliation because they can’t make it on their own steam. Perhaps they are disabled, isolated and lonely, or simply have no vehicle in which to get to church. As faithful friends we are called to reach out, assist, and arrange the means by which they can have their meeting with our Holy Physician.

Every parish in the world is offering a penance service during this season of Advent. I hope that each of you reading this will make it a point to go to Confession to prepare your heart for Christ’s coming. And, I hope that each of you will reach out and be the friend who helps those who are paralyzed, in whatever form, make receiving the Sacrament a reality.

God bless you!

“Lord God, thank You for the actual grace You bestow on us that allows us to come to You for forgiveness. And, thank You for the restoration of our baptismal grace once we do. Lord, help us to be the friends who bring those we love to You so that their loving relationship with You may be rekindled. Amen.”

(Advent: A Season for Healing Spiritual Paralysis was first published on the blog Reflections of a Lay Catholic)

©2013-2018 Reflections of a Lay Catholic. Reposting and sharing of material in its full and original content is permitted, provided that full and clear credit is given to the author(s) and Reflections of a Lay Catholic.

Giving Your Heart

04 Sunday Dec 2016

Posted by Jerry Robinson in Charity, Confession, Grace, Mass, Prayer

≈ 8 Comments

Tags

Charity, Confession, Gift of the Heart, Giving Your Heart to Jesus, Mass, Prayer, Presentation of the Gifts

As we began singing the hymn during the presentation of the gifts this morning, the usher passed the collection bowl down our pew. As always, we passed it to the next person without putting anything in it. Rather than write a check every week, we make our contribution once a month. Let me rephrase that – my wife, who manages our money, makes the contribution for the both of us once a month through an electronic fund transfer. I don’t have to do anything other than sing when it’s time (and, I’m sure, some folks wish I wouldn’t even do that!)

While I was singing, my mind drifted to that thought, “I don’t have to do anything.” Then, as the bread and wine were brought to the altar and the collection was placed at its base, I suddenly felt ashamed of myself. Although our monthly gift surely helps the parish and those in need, it’s given remotely and matter-of-factly. It’s just something we do every month. Perhaps my wife says a prayer of gratitude for the ability to contribute and a prayer for whoever may benefit from it when she clicks the button to make the EFT happen, but I don’t do anything.

I realized that I was missing something. At a minimum, I thought, I ought to consciously acknowledge our offering and pray that it helps someone. But, ideally, it’s more than that. The presentation of the gifts at the beginning of the Liturgy of the Eucharist is offering a gift to Jesus himself. And, it doesn’t matter whether I make a monthly electronic contribution or drop an envelope in the bowl each week, the gift He wants more than anything else is the gift of my heart offered willingly with love – the acknowledgement that I am giving myself to Him. A monetary contribution is nice, but hiding behind it without giving Him the gift He truly desires is like buying an expensive gift for your child’s birthday without showing up in person.

I realized that in giving myself to Him each time I attend mass, I am making a commitment to subordinate my will to His. Near the beginning of mass, during the Introductory Rites, I confess my venial sins and ask forgiveness in the Penitential Act. There is always something I can think of about which I regret doing or not doing. His forgiveness of these sins allows me to start anew. Thus, recommitting myself to Him and praying, “I am Yours, Lord”, after I am forgiven, time after time, day after day, seems only fitting.

I know that the next time I attend mass I will take to heart the meaning behind the presentation of the gifts. I will sing and I will watch the family who brings the gifts to the altar. But, I will also offer a prayer to Jesus that he accepts my gift, the gift of my heart, and my commitment, again, to allow His will to be done.

I don’t know for sure, but I have a feeling, that many who have gone to church day in and day out their entire lives probably do just like I have done – use this time during the presentation of the gifts to sing (or not) and let their minds wander. Won’t you join me, instead, to recommit and imagine that it is our hearts which are being laid at the base of the altar?

“Lord Jesus, I give You thanks for Your forgiveness as I offer You the gift You truly desire, the gift of my heart. I pray for the grace that one day I will not have any sins of commission or omission to confess, knowing that I have allowed Your will to be done. Amen.”

(Giving Your Heart was first published on the blog Reflections of a Lay Catholic)

©2016 Reflections of a Lay Catholic. Reposting and sharing of material in its full and original content is permitted, provided that full and clear credit is given to the author(s) and Reflections of a Lay Catholic.

A Confessional Curveball

18 Friday Mar 2016

Posted by Jerry Robinson in Confession, Reconciliation

≈ 5 Comments

Tags

Confession, Reconciliation, Sins of Commission, Sins of Omission

In yesterday’s post, Tomorrow May Not Come, I mentioned how, when examining my conscience before our parish communal penance service, I couldn’t think of any sins I had committed since my confession last Saturday. But, through a God-moment, I remembered there are two types of sins – Sins of Commission, things I’ve done wrong, and Sins of Omission, things I should have done but failed to do.

In the relatively short time I’ve been Catholic, I confess to you that I have never really understood the aspect of Sins of Omission until this last weekend when the two types were explained to me by a deacon. So, for the first time ever, I took time to examine my conscience in light of “what I had failed to do”. I didn’t come up with much but what I did find made the exercise worth doing.

I went to reconciliation last night and, to one of the four priests there, I confessed my sins of omission. And, I learned something interesting: most people focus on their wrong actions, their sins of commission, but very few take time to think about what they should have done but didn’t, their sins of omission. For when I told the priest the what and the why of the two things for which I was sorry, he said, “Whoa, wait a minute, it’s been years since anyone confessed to me what they have failed to do! Let me consider for a second what to do about this!” After a few moments he continued, “I’ll tell you what, it sounds like you know what you ought to do, so your penance is to go and do those things.” I think I heard a sigh of relief.

My guess is that most of you, when examining your own consciences, probably don’t think about your sins of omission. Maybe you ought to. Rise up and separate yourself from the crowd. It feels good to recognize those areas where you need to do better. And, as always, it feels good to receive forgiveness for them. But, there is something else: there’s just a touch of satisfaction in pitching a change-up and have the priest take it looking.

So, folks, when you take time for an examination of your conscience, consider your sins of omission. Broaden your repertoire. Then, instead of your usual fastball, go throw your priest a Confessional Curveball. He may appreciate it as much as you will.

God bless.

(A Confessional Curveball was first published on the blog Reflections of a Lay Catholic)

Tomorrow May Not Come

17 Thursday Mar 2016

Posted by Jerry Robinson in Confession, Reconciliation

≈ 3 Comments

Tags

Confession, Mercy, Omission of Sins, Reconciliation, St. Augustine

The Confession, Crespi, 1712

The last few days have been extremely busy for me: out of town travel, nights away from home, meetings, extended conference calls, training, and the like. This morning on my way to work I thought, “Man, I’m looking forward to a quiet evening at home tonight, just my wife and me.” Then, about five minutes later when I got to work and checked my weekly calendar, I realized that tonight is already spoken for: we have our parish Lenten Communal Penance Service at 7:00 p.m. I had completely forgotten about it.

My reaction to this was, of course, to consider whether I’ve committed any sins since my last confession last Saturday. Thinking that I am in pretty good spiritual shape at the moment, I thought, “Nah, I’m good.”

At my mid-morning break I opened my daily devotional of writings of Saint Augustine. I was looking for today’s date but the little ribbon that marked the page of my last reading was on the previous page. Before flipping the page I casually perused what was written there, and then, smiling, I once again accepted that He often gives me the direction I need exactly when I need it. I read:

“God is not now so long-suffering in putting up with you that He will fail to be just in punishing. Do not say then: ‘Tomorrow I shall be converted, tomorrow I shall please God, and all that I shall have done today and yesterday will be forgiven me.’

“What you say is true: God has promised forgiveness if you turn back to Him. But, what He has not promised is that you will have tomorrow in which to achieve your conversion.” – Saint Augustine, Commentary on Psalm 144,11

I thought, “Okay, I hear You, God, you’re telling me I ought to perhaps rethink my plans for tonight.”

I suspect that wasn’t quite the reaction God was looking for because the very next thought that came to mind was the confession we make at the beginning of mass:

“I confess to almighty God, and to you, my brothers and sisters, that I have sinned through my own fault, in my thoughts and in my words, in what I have done, and in what I have failed to do….”

My mind zeroed in on the line, “….and in what I have failed to do”. My idea that I haven’t committed any sins in the last five days may be true, but I failed to consider my sins of omission, those things which I should have done but failed to do.

“Have I given my whole heart to God this week? Yeah, I think so.”

“Have I prayed as often as I should? Have my prayers been sincere and a true conversation with God? I’d say my piety has been better than normal lately.”

“Have I loved my family as I should and let them know my love for them? Ah ha! Because I’ve been so busy, I haven’t talked to my daughters this week and told them how much I love them! I need to do that.”

“In the absence of committing an unkind act, have I omitted intentionally showing kindness to others? No, I think I did pretty well in this category.”

“Have I been productive when I could have been, or have I been lazy instead? Hmmm, okay, you’ve got me there, that important thing I’ve been procrastinating about needs my serious attention!”

I guess I know where I’ll be tonight. But, that’s okay. As I often hear people say, “It’s all good”. I’ve never been to reconciliation without coming away feeling relieved, as though my load is lightened. I always feel God’s presence and feel strengthened by His forgiving Love.

This is the season of Lent. And, if your parish has a Lenten Penance Service, take advantage of it and let God’s mercy lift some of that excess baggage off of you. If you’ve let your parish Penance Service pass you by, you still have time before Holy week to take advantage of your regularly scheduled reconciliation opportunity. Make time for it. Open your heart and let God’s presence and His Healing Light shine into the dark recesses of your soul, and be renewed. God is constantly ready to forgive us if we just turn to Him. Do it soon. Your “tomorrow” may not come.

God bless you all.

(Tomorrow May Not Come was first published on the blog Reflections of a Lay Catholic)

The Bad and Good of Sinning on Monday

24 Wednesday Jun 2015

Posted by Jerry Robinson in Confession, Eucharistic Adoration, Reconciliation

≈ 2 Comments

Tags

Confession, Eucharistic Adoration, God-moments, Mercy, Reconciliation, St. Augustine

The Return of the Prodigal Son – Bartolome’ Murillo, 1670

I’m a sinner. We all are in our own way and to our own degree. It’s our nature. It’s called concupiscence.

It seems no matter how hard I try I can’t not sin. Oh, I can go for three or four straight weeks and only commit a few minor venial sins (or so I think), but inevitably, through my own conscious free will, I cave in to temptation or an old habit that hasn’t yet been completely unlearned; or I act rashly in a disrespectful or uncharitable manner which I immediately regret. It tears me up – mostly because I know what I did was wrong and, also, partly because it injures the pride I’ve built up for having worked hard to improve and sin less as time has passed.

When I do this I know that waiting until Sunday morning mass and asking for forgiveness during the Penitential Act just isn’t going to cut it. No, there’s only one thing I can do to get right with God – make a trip to Reconciliation on Saturday afternoon and humbly lay it on the line to Him. The guilt and shame weighs heavily enough on my conscience that I know it’s pointless for me to try to talk my way out of it.

It seems to me that my most serious falls from grace occur early in the week, on Monday or Tuesday. When that happens I have the rest of the week until Saturday to contemplate and painfully stew on the thing(s) I wish I hadn’t done. Why can’t I commit all my more serious sins on Friday night or Saturday morning?

Sometimes during those several days between sin and forgiveness I find myself creating elaborate excuses for why I did the misdeed. But, eventually, I always get to, and spend sufficient time at, the appropriate level of contriteness needed for my confession. This, I think, is one of the beautiful things about the Catholic Church. The Sacrament of Reconciliation is such a great gift. Confessing my transgressions to God while I’m physically looking into the eyes of a real person, forces me to be honest with myself, the priest, and especially with Him. If I couldn’t do that I’m sure I would fall victim to my own inventions, justifying that the onus for my actions belongs elsewhere instead of solely with me.

When I do visit the priest and confess my sins to God with a truly contrite heart, and promise to not sin in that way again, I am often surprised at the lenient penance given to me. I usually feel as though I deserve less mercy and I’m always grateful for the mercy I do receive. But, then, sometimes I believe that those few days during which I agonized over my sin until I could get to confession may have served as partial penance. At least I hope so.

Last week as I waited for Saturday to roll around, I made my usual Holy Hour of Adoration on Friday afternoon. The convenience of this dawned on me: it is the perfect, last chance opportunity to thoroughly examine my conscience, shed the excuses and take full ownership for my actions. After all, it would be just a little difficult, if not foolish, to not get it right while I’m kneeling in front of the Tabernacle looking up at Jesus, and Him looking down upon me.

During that quiet hour last Friday I took time to read from my daily St. Augustine devotional. I was a couple weeks behind so I picked up where I left off with the passage from June 4th entitled, “Pride Can Destroy”. St. Augustine wrote:

“Paradoxically, it is good, in a way, for those who observe continence and are proud of it to fall, so that they may be humbled in that very thing on which they pride themselves. What benefit is continence for us if pride holds sway over our lives?”

What can I say? I can’t make this stuff up. He knows what I need to hear! This was just another one of those God-moments I’ve come to expect while I’m at Adoration. I looked at the Tabernacle and thought what a great and merciful Lord we have. All He wants us to do when we are tempted to sin is to look to Him and ask for His help. So simple, but our human nature makes it so difficult to accept His will. And I thought, if this is the way He reveals the truth to me, then, if I’m going to sin, maybe it’s not such a bad thing after all to do so early in the week!

I continued to read my devotional. Each daily passage is followed by a prayer from St. Augustine. The prayer for June 5^th read:

“Lord, You truly gave me free will, but without You my effort is worthless. You give help since You are the One Who created, and You do not abandon Your creation.”

Amen.

(The Bad and Good of Sinning on Monday was first published on the blog Reflections of a Lay Catholic)

©2015 Reflections of a Lay Catholic. Reposting and sharing of material in its full and original content is permitted, provided that full and clear credit is given to the author(s) and Reflections of a Lay Catholic.

Corn, Confession, Cathedrals and Car Trouble

07 Sunday Jul 2013

Posted by Jerry Robinson in Churches, Confession

≈ 7 Comments

Tags

Cathedrals, Confession

Day two of my solo trip from Cincinnati, Ohio to Seattle, Washington.

There is a lot of corn along I-29 through northwest Missouri, western Iowa and southeastern South Dakota, and then along I-90 west of Sioux Falls to the Missouri River. I mean a lot! And it goes for as far as the eye can see. I think it made it to “knee high by the fourth of July”, as the saying goes, so the farmers ought to be happy.

I left my daughter’s house in Olathe, Kansas a little later than I expected but that’s okay, we had a good visit. There’s not much to look at except rolling hills and corn, corn and more corn across Iowa. I had to give the music CDs and the book on tape I brought with me a break so I turned them off and tuned into my own thoughts. I reflected back on my post from the day before, specifically my comment about being able to throw my trash in the back seat without anyone telling me not to. That reminded me of something author Matthew Kelly says in his book The Seven Pillars of Catholic Spirituality. He uses that as an analogy for our daily sins. We sin a little here and a little there, and we let them slowly build up until we have a heap of them. Kind of like the rolled up fast food bags piled up on the floor board of the back seat. It’s been a month or more since I went to reconciliation and I started thinking about how the trash in my personal back seat was starting to pile up.

I had to stop for gas in Sioux City, Iowa so I logged onto masstimes.org again to see if there were any churches in Sioux Falls, South Dakota that I might be able to find that had reconciliation scheduled for about the time I would be passing through there. The one that came closest was the Cathedral of St. Joseph, the home church of the bishop of the diocese. I checked my GPS and I could be there ten minutes early. Sounded like a plan to me.

I was glad I decided to stop because by the time I got there I was beginning to get sleepy. I entered the church and found two lines for confession, each about six or seven people long. Fortunately, there were two confessionals going at once and my line moved fairly quickly. These were old fashioned confessionals of carved, rich mahogany wood, with screens only so I couldn’t actually see the priest. I got lucky and had a very nice priest. I had nothing too serious to confess but I think the priest, after me telling him I am still new at this business, gave me three Hail Marys for either practice or just so I wouldn’t think I was wasting my time.

St. Joseph’s Cathedral is a beautiful church. I decided to stay for the Saturday afternoon mass since I didn’t know if I would be able to find a church on Sunday morning. The priest gave a very nice homily. The music was marvelous! The organist made the huge, old organ sing. After mass the thought occurred to me that it might be neat to post daily about the churches I am visiting on this cross-country trip. So, I took some pictures, inside and out.

St. Joseph’s Cathedral, Sioux Falls, SD

St. Joseph’s Cathedral Organ, Sioux Falls, SD

Back on the road heading west on I-90, I passed unknown millions of acres of more corn. My stop at church put me getting to my sister-in-law’s house south of Rapid City, South Dakota a little later than I expected. I was tooling along with the windows down, watching a thunderstorm roll in with a magnificent show of lightning, and otherwise enjoying the scenery with about 100 miles to go when the cruise control on my Subaru Outback decided to quit working. In addition to the cruise light on the dash blinking continuously, the red brake light also began blinking continuously, the check engine light came on and stayed on as did the traction control light. There was no change in power or performance so I assume it is simply a cruise control problem. Of course, it was Saturday night and I have a lot of miles to cover before any Subaru maintenance shops would be open on Monday morning. We’ll see where it takes me.

I arrived at my destination about 9:30 local time with about 760 miles under my belt for the day, 1,400 for the trip. My sister and brother-in-law fed me a wonderful dinner of grilled chicken and asparagus and we caught up with each other’s lives. They just moved into a new house in the Black Hills south of town and this was my first visit to it. Upon waking this morning I looked out the huge windows of their family room across valleys of pine trees to see Mount Rushmore. It was a beautiful view!

Tonight’s destination is a campground somewhere near Missoula, Montana. Preferably near a mountain stream where I can dream about flipping a dry fly into a riffle where an 18 inch Rainbow is waiting. Alas, with no time to fish, I can only dream about it on this trip.

Confession: Why Bother?

18 Thursday Apr 2013

Posted by CWhittenburg in Confession, Prayer, Reconciliation

≈ 1 Comment

Tags

Biblical Submission, Confession, Ephesians 5, Reconciliation, servant leadership

Psalm 25:11 “For the sake of your name, O LORD, forgive my iniquity, though it is great.”

Throughout late 2010 and into all of 2011, I worked to become a better spiritual leader to Elissa and my three daughters. However, I struggled with the guilt of my past sins and prayed for guidance frequently. The answer, of course, was in front of me every Saturday afternoon before 5:30 mass but I tried not to see it. In December of 2011, God finally got through my thick skull that I needed to reconcile with Him by confessing my sins to Him through the sacrament of reconciliation.

The Catechism of the Catholic Church says, “The confession of sins, even from a simply human point of view, frees us and facilitates our reconciliation with others. Through such an admission, man looks squarely at the sins he is guilty of, takes responsibility for them, and thereby opens himself again to God and to the communion of the Church in order to make a new future possible.”

The problem was that I hadn’t been to confession in over 30 years and couldn’t even remember what to do. I had to look up the rules on-line and re-memorize an act of contrition. It seemed simple enough: Walk in, say hello Father it has been 30 years since my last confession. He’ll then ask me to state my sins. I figured that might take awhile for me. After that, he might ask me questions for clarification and then ask me to make an act of contrition, give me penance, and say a prayer of absolution. Why was it so hard for me to step into the confessional?

During Advent of 2011, I finally worked up the nerve to go. I did not tell Elissa in advance just in case I chickened out. I went to 7 a.m. mass downtown at the cathedral, spoke with the priest after mass, and confessed the worst of my past. When I was done, I felt a wave of relief and lightness in my soul that I had never felt before. Elissa and I had always joked that if I ever went, the poor priest’s head would explode with all my sins. I sent a simple text to Elissa “The priest’s head didn’t explode.”

Ephesians 4:22-24 “You should put away the old self of your former way of life, corrupted through deceitful desires, and be renewed in the spirit of your minds, and put on the new self, created in God’s way in righteousness and holiness of truth.”

Reconciliation brought me great relief and a renewed desire to grow in my faith. It brought me closer to God, and made me want to amend my life in several ways.

Reconciliation made me want to grow in my faith. I signed up for a Christ Renews His Parish (CRHP) weekend in April 2012. Hearing the stories of the men during my receiving weekend moved me deeply. I realized that I was not alone in my troubles and that there was hope for a sinner like me. I attended reconciliation that weekend and felt a new sense of peace. I also did something I never thought I would do, join a CRHP giving team. Those six months were a blessing in my life as I came to know, love, and respect all the men on my giving team. Those blessings continued in March of 2013 when I joined several other men in Morristown, Tennessee to present CRHP for the very first time to 19 men at St. Patrick’s Catholic Church.

Reconciliation made me want to be a better husband to Elissa. To help with that, Elissa and I attended a marriage encounter weekend in May 2012. If you have not gone to one, I highly recommend it. We learned so much about each other, improved our communication, and renewed our commitment to each other. During that weekend, we promised each other that we would try couples prayer. Neither of us had much experience with spontaneous prayers said aloud. I am happy to say that we have prayed together for a year now and it continues to bring us closer to each other and to God.

Reconciliation made me want to be a better father to my girls. Dr. Meg Meeker, in her book, “Strong Fathers, Strong Daughters” wrote, “Our daughters need the support that only fathers can provide—and if you are willing to guide your daughter, to stand between her and a toxic culture, to take her to a healthier place, your rewards will be unmatched…The only way you will alienate your daughter in the long-term is by losing her respect, failing to lead, or failing to protect her. If you don’t provide for her needs, she will find someone else who will.”

In the summer of 2012, I started date night with Daddy for the girls. Each month, one of my daughters picks an activity for just the two of us. I have taken them to baseball games, fancy dinners at the Golden Lamb, and putt-putt golfing at the Web on Cincinnati-Dayton Road. What we do together isn’t really the point. What is important to the girls is that they get one-on-one time with their father. I do this to try to demonstrate what love is to my girls so that as they get older they do not seek love from others in inappropriate ways.

Reconciliation made me want to be an active participant at our parish. I did that by becoming a lector last year. It has helped me focus on God’s word and set a leadership example to my wife and daughters. One benefit I got from lectoring is that on August 26, 2012, I got to read Ephesians 5 to the congregation. God spoke to me in August 2010 through that passage, urging me to serve my family by leading them to Him. I read it from the heart because it has had such a strong and lasting impact on my marriage.

I am still a sinner, always will be, but with the sacrament of reconciliation and God’s grace, I can now confidently, and without hypocrisy, lead my family in our spiritual life. I thank Him every day for another opportunity to do His will.

If you have avoided this sacrament, I encourage you to step out in faith and step into the confessional. You will not regret it.