Road Trip Reflections: I Remember the Time When…

03 Wednesday Mar 2021

Posted by Jerry Robinson in Conversion, Road Trips

Tags

Conversion, Prayer, Road Trips, silence, solitude

(In my first try to send this there was an error with the links. Let’s try this again.)

In my last post, Road Trip Reflections: Battles are Won from Within, I mentioned that I’d driven to my folks in southeast Missouri on Sunday on my way to San Antonio, Texas. By the time I returned home this last Sunday night I’d made stops to visit family in New Braunfels and San Antonio, Texas, Lake Charles and Thibodaux, Louisiana, and Memphis, Tennessee for a total of about 56 hours of windshield time.

Can you tell I like to drive? There’s just something about being on the road and away from everything else. It might seem like escapism but, if so, I’m escaping to a place of solitude. And, most of the miles are driven in silence. Author Henri J.M. Nouwen, writing on silence, solitude and prayer said something along the lines of, “Solitude is not being alone, but being alone with God. Silence is not not speaking, but listening to God. Together, they call us to prayer”. My time behind the wheel is a welcome opportunity to reconnect, to converse with God, to look at my life, and analyze if I’m living the life He would have me live.

But, occasionally I do listen to music or podcasts while driving. And, my music is often anything from Jerry Jeff Walker. His last album, It’s About Time, is one of my favorites. The second song on the album is California Song, a beautiful tune Walker wrote about wondering where life would have led him had he not met his wife. I was listening to this and my thoughts began to go down that same road, except to wonder where I’d be if I had not let God into my life. The more I thought about it the more I thought I could write my own song to that tune. So, I did. And, I thought I’d share it with you here. (It’s okay, you can sing along, I won’t tell anyone).

I Remember the Time When – Lyrics by Jerry Robinson

I remember the time when 
I put work ahead of family 
I was running hard but, Lord, I wasn't free. 
I was chasing the pipeline, 
Living hotel to hotel, 
The pay was good but not so good for me.

One day I hit the bottom 
Stressed, confused and lonely
I knew I couldn't live my life that way.
I retreated to a church pew,
Kneeled down before You,
I bowed my head and there began to pray

Chorus:
And I fell in love with You, Lord,
You made my life so special,
You taught me how to love the way You do.
You gave my life new meaning,
With my wife, my friends, and children,
I'm grateful for the love I found in You.

I remember the time when
I wanted nothing to do with You, Lord
I was in control and knew what was best for me.
I never stopped to question,
Why I wasn't happy,
I was blinded by my pride and couldn't see.

And I fell in love with You, Lord,
You made my life so special,
You taught me how to love the way You do.
You gave my life new meaning,
With my wife, my friends, and children,
I'm grateful for the love I found in You.

Bridge
And, I know You had a plan, Lord,
But I was just too stubborn,
You were there when I had no place to go.
Now each night before I sleep
I hate to think where I might be
Had I passed the chance to open up that door.

I remember the time when
Promotions were what I worked for,
I thought they'd bring a better way to live.
But, now I trust in You, Lord,
You'll always be there for me,
'Cause there's more to life than what the world can give.

And I fell in love with You, Lord,
You made my life so special,
You taught me how to love the way You do.
You gave my life new meaning
With my wife, my friends, and children,
I'm grateful for the love I found in You.

“Good and gracious, God, thank You! Just thank You! Amen.”

(Road Trip Reflections: I Remember the Time When… was first published on the blog Reflections of a Lay Catholic)

©2013-2021 Reflections of a Lay Catholic. Reposting and sharing of material in its full and original content is permitted, provided that full and clear credit is given to the author(s) and Reflections of a Lay Catholic.

The Yoke’s On Me

19 Thursday Jul 2018

Posted by Jerry Robinson in Bible Reflections, Faith, Prayer

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Tags

Beginning again, Faith, Mt 11:28-30, Prayer, silence, solitude, Yoke

I+Will+Give+You+Rest+-+Lettering+by+Caitlin+Bristow+-+Lettered+Life-01

(Image Credit: Caitlin Bristow – Lettered Life)

You may (or may not) have noticed there hasn’t been a whole lot of posting going on in the last month. I did get inspired and make time for three reflections but, for the most part, my focus has been on other things. Those other things included an almost three week trip to South Dakota and Montana for a family reunion followed by a four day mission trip to Appalachian Eastern Kentucky. Both were fun and filled with “God-moments”, but were chocked full to the brim with activity.

Since returning home this past weekend I’ve been busy catching up on all the stuff that didn’t get done while I was gone, such as yard work and generally dealing with the exigencies of life.

Last night, as I was preparing for bed, the effect that all this activity has had on my prayer life hit my conscience hard. Although I’d made it to morning mass this week, being away from my comfortable place of solitude and silence for so long had suspended my morning prayer, reflection and meditation, and I knew I needed to get back in a groove. But, I asked myself, how can I do that with so much else to be done? I knew the answer was to just let everything else go and spend time with the Lord this morning. So, before falling asleep, I prayed for the grace to be able to do just that.

I made it to 7:30 a.m. mass this morning and heard our priest read from the Gospel of Matthew:

”Come to me, all you who labor and are burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am meek and humble of heart; and you will find rest for yourselves. For my yoke is easy, and my burden light.” (Mt 11:28-30 NAB)

I closed my eyes and uttered, “Jesus, You’re talking straight to me! You know what I need to hear. Your yoke is nothing more than making that little bit of effort to spend time in conversation with You.”

After mass I came home and spent time in the solitude and silence that He asked of me, and I decided to share this with you in hopes that it would get me off high-center.

Isn’t Christianity a dichotomy? It’s such a contradiction to the ways of the world. You turn left to go right. You go up to go down. You focus on the present and the future takes care of itself.

The work which needs to be done, and which burdened me yesterday, is now something I look forward to today. The hour I spent with Jesus this morning was the invigoration I needed to begin again.

“Lord Jesus, I ask and You provide. Thank You for Your love. Thank You for being there to lead when I need to follow. Thank you for lightening the load by helping me to focus on You Who helps me carry it rather than on my own futile struggle. Amen.”

(The Yoke’s On Me was first published on the blog Reflections of a Lay Catholic)

©2013-2018 Reflections of a Lay Catholic. Reposting and sharing of material in its full and original content is permitted, provided that full and clear credit is given to the author(s) and Reflections of a Lay Catholic.

A Light Silent Sound

15 Friday Jun 2018

Posted by Jerry Robinson in Daily 100, Prayer

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Tags

1 Kings 19:12, God-moments, Meditation, Prayer, silence, solitude

It can be exciting when God lets us know of his presence in those profound experiences when He deals us an “ah-ha!” moment. He certainly gets our attention. But, I’ve come to long for that “light silent sound” (1 Kgs 19:12 NAB) such as Elijah heard on Mt. Horeb in today’s scripture passage. It’s truly a special feeling to be in my place of silence and solitude, in morning prayer and meditating on His Word, and hear God speak to my heart, telling me what He desires of me that day. It’s the perfect start to a day!

(Daily 100: A Light Silent Sound was first published on the blog Reflections of a Lay Catholic)

Before the Cross

31 Wednesday Jan 2018

Posted by Jerry Robinson in Blessed Sacrament, Eucharistic Adoration, Love

≈ 2 Comments

Tags

Adoration, Blessed Sacrament, Cross, Crucifix, Desert, Eucharistic Adoration, Good News, Jesus, Kingdom of God, Love, silence, solitude

Jesus Crucified, Le Coup de Lance – Peter Paul Rubens

It’s amazing how time and space can be transformed when you’re in the desert. One hour of silence and solitude during Eucharistic Adoration in the real presence of Jesus can transport you into the mysteries of Christ’s life.

Yesterday, as I knelt before the Blessed Sacrament during my Holy hour, I found myself not alone, but alone with Christ. It was so quiet in the chapel that I could almost hear the flicker of the flame burning in the candle to the right of the tabernacle. Yet, I was listening to the voice of Jesus.

As I knelt on the rocky ground, I could feel the gravel digging into my knee caps. Before me, Jesus was hanging from the cross, struggling for every breath. I felt helpless and ashamed of my cowardice. To rise up and object would certainly mean my death from the Roman soldier standing nearby.

Blinking away the blood and sweat in His eyes, He looked at me. Our eyes met. I uttered, “My Lord, how can this be happening? How can you endure such torture? I cannot bear it!”

He had not enough breath to speak, but in His eyes I could hear Him say, “Because of my suffering you will have eternal peace and salvation.”

“How can I ever repay You?, I pleaded, choking on my words.

Again, I read in His eyes, “I thirst for your love. Show me your love by loving others as I have loved you. Go, let that love multiply as we did with the loaves and fishes. Spread the Good News of the Kingdom of God as I have taught you.”

The pain from the gravel beneath my knees grew worse and I blinked. I lost His gaze and He was gone.

I found myself back in the Adoration Chapel kneeling on the soft cushion of the prie-dieu with the monstrance before me. My hour was almost over. The pain in my knees was just the arthritis from growing older.

(Before the Cross was first published on the blog Reflections of a Lay Catholic)

Soil Conditioning for the Heart

24 Wednesday Jan 2018

Posted by Jerry Robinson in Bible Reflections, Faith, Prayer, Scripture

≈ 4 Comments

Tags

Faith, Jesus, Mark 4:1-20, Parables, Prayer, Reflection, Resolution, silence, solitude, The Parable of the Sower

The Angelus, Jean-Francois Millet, 1859

In my previous life (pre-2012 and pre-Catholic) I would occasionally crack a Bible and read a passage or two before losing interest and closing it up. This didn’t happen often, mostly when I was traveling, alone and bored in a hotel room somewhere and there was a Gideon Bible in the nightstand drawer. I remember reading from the Gospels and wondering why Jesus talked to the people in parables. As far as I could tell, it was all a riddle that nobody in their right mind could understand. It made no sense.

This recollection came back to me today as I read and meditated on today’s Gospel, Mark 4:1-20, the Parable of the Sower. A lot has changed over the last six years. I understand this parable today – that Jesus is the sower, the Word of God is the seed, and the different types of soil are the dispositions of the diversity in our faith. Or at least I think that’s what it’s about.

But, as I meditated on this today, my thoughts were more on why Jesus spoke in parables rather than the message in the parable.

I have learned that the Jewish rabbis and teachers in Jesus’ time, taught using stories with familiar images and experiences to which the learner could relate. The messages in these stories were not explicit but, instead, were designed to make one think. The answers were complex and seldom simple. If you thought you had it figured out, you probably didn’t. You needed to think about it more, and think more deeply.

Jesus’ parables were similar to what we call allegory today. He always had a hidden complex spiritual meaning or moral lesson embedded within his parable. And, depending on one’s level of faith, you either got it, partially got it, or you were totally lost.

Even Jesus’ disciples and His chosen Apostles didn’t always understand. In today’s Gospel, His disciples questioned Him about the parables. Jesus answered them, “The mystery of the kingdom of God has been granted to you. But to those outside everything comes in parables so that they may look and see but not perceive, and hear and listen but not understand, in order that they may not be converted and be forgiven.” Jesus continued, “Do you not understand this parable? Then how will you understand any of the parables?” (Mk 4:11-13)

We often think that the Apostles were all totally on board and on the same page as Jesus. But, the reality was that they never did quite figure it out until Jesus’ resurrection and eventual ascension into heaven. No, they were quite often lost regarding the mysteries of Christ’s life (e.g. Mk 8:32-33, Peter’s response to the first prediction of Jesus’ Passion; and, Mk 9:28-29, the healing of a boy with a demon).

Jesus wanted everyone, His disciples included, to think deeply about His message. He wanted them to look beyond the obvious, below the surface, and outside of the box. He challenged them to compare and relate His stories, His parables, with their own lives. The extent of their understanding and ability to relate often depended on their faith.

Nothing has changed. It still depends on faith. The reason I didn’t understand the Gospel as I read while lounging on a hotel room bed was because I had no faith. The difference between then and now for me is that I now believe the Word of God to be the truth. I have a deep desire to understand it so that I can apply it to my life.

Jesus still challenges us to understand God’s Word within the context of our own lives, our own experiences. He wants to sow the Seed on fertile soil so that it may grow and produce fruit. How do we prepare that garden plot in preparation for His sowing?

First, we need to create an atmosphere in which we can listen to God through His Word in the scripture, an atmosphere of silence and solitude that is conducive to deep thought without distractions. Author Henri J.M. Nouwen in his book, The Way of the Heart, describes silence as, “not not speaking, but listening to God”; and solitude as, “not being alone, but being alone with God.” Finding that time and place is critical.

Once you’re there, open up your heart in prayer. Give thanks to God for the opportunity to be with Him in that moment. Ask the Holy Spirit to open your heart and mind to receive the Word of God, and for the grace to understand His Word as you read and reflect upon it.

As you read the scripture, think deeply about what it is God is telling you at that moment. Maybe there is a verse or a phrase or just a couple words that jump out at you. Stop and reflect on that which catches your attention and let the Holy Spirit take you deeper to reveal God’s unique message for you. Say a prayer of thanksgiving once you’ve absorbed His revelation.

Next, ask yourself how that message relates to your life today. Is there something you can do to change? What can you do today to be more virtuous, to grow in holiness, and to become a better disciple, spouse, parent, and friend? How can you condition your soil to make it more fertile? The Holy Spirit will convict you and show you the way!

Finally, take that one thing, that one change for the better, and write a concrete resolution that will effect an improvement that day. Make it easy but make it concrete. Think baby steps instead of leaping tall buildings. Something that you can, at the end of the day, look back on and say with a sense of accomplishment, “Yes! I did it!”

And then go do it.

This is how you grow in faith. This is how you begin to understand the Word of God and not get confused in the complexity of the parables. And, this is how you gradually grow in holiness on your way to becoming a saint just like the Apostles.

“Heavenly Father, thank You for giving me the deep desire to understand Your Word, and for Your Son, Jesus, to sow that Seed in my heart. Thank You, Holy Spirit, for the gift of faith that has conditioned my heart to be fertile ground for producing fruit for Your kingdom. I pray that, through Your grace, the harvest is abundant. Amen.”

(Soil Conditioning for the Heart was first published on the blog Reflections of a Lay Catholic)
©2013-2018 Reflections of a Lay Catholic. Reposting and sharing of material in its full and original content is permitted, provided that full and clear credit is given to the author(s) and Reflections of a Lay Catholic.

Finding Rest in the Desert

04 Saturday Feb 2017

Posted by Jerry Robinson in Renewal

≈ 6 Comments

Tags

Adoration, Christ Renews His Parish, Cursillo, Desert, Faith, Friendship, God, Gospel of Mark, Hope, Jesus, Love, Mark 6:31, Mass, Peace, Prayer, silence, solitude, Thanksgiving, Ultreya

“[Jesus] said to them, ‘Come away by yourselves to a deserted place and rest a while.’” – Mark 6:31 NAB

In today’s Gospel, Jesus instructs His apostles to take a break from their travels and their mission of preaching repentance and healing of unclean spirits. Two by two, they have been separated and away from Jesus for quite some time. They are tired and dirty. They have healed many but have been rejected by many, also. They’re ready for some downtime and time to re-energize.

As I heard the lector read this verse from the Gospel of Mark this morning at mass, I reflected on my own experience and realized that Jesus, as always, hit the nail on the head. For me, it has always been when I have retreated to a “deserted” place for rest and reflection that I have, afterwards, found myself refreshed and renewed in my faith and closer to Jesus.

My first experience was five years ago when I attended a Christ Renews His Parish (CRHP) retreat weekend at our parish church. My decision to go on the retreat was based not on getting closer to Jesus or to increase my faith, for I wasn’t Catholic nor remotely religious, but to hide from the daily struggles of work, and trying, unsuccessfully for the most part, to bring some balance to my life. I also hoped to meet some men and make some new friends. I did meet many men and made many new friends – not just acquaintances but lifelong brothers. And, more importantly, I found God and the love of Christ. My life was transformed and it hasn’t been the same since. I became Catholic one year later.

Following that CRHP experience, I met regularly with some of those new friends on a regular basis in a quiet room at our church or at each other’s homes. They were special times, ones which would have required a natural disaster to keep me away. We talked about how we had seen God working in our lives, and we opened up and shared the difficulties we were trying to overcome. We chose scripture passages to read and discuss. We learned from each other and we encouraged each other and we formed brotherly bonds.

With pressures from work seeming to increase, I wanted more of this type of respite. I began attending Bible studies and other opportunities to learn and deepen my faith, including weekly Adoration of the Blessed Sacrament. Along with spending time with my wife, these encounters were the things which brought me peace.

In wanting to learn more about my faith, I jumped at the invitation to attend a Cursillo weekend where I could again spend a restful few days in reflection and fellowship with other men. Like CRHP, it was a life changing experience. As a follow-up to Cursillo, monthly Ultreya meetings and weekly discussions of our prayer life, what we are doing to grow our faith, and what we are doing to bring others to Christ, keep me grounded and help direct my attention away from worldly strife.

Through these experiences, I have learned to take advantage of other opportunities for silence, solitude and time for prayer when I am away from my home field and friends. At those times, my “desert” becomes a rolling mountain stream, a peaceful perch overlooking a valley, holding a sleeping grandchild in my arms, or just about any place where I can marvel at His many miracles.

One of my favorite places to rest and listen to God – Rock Creek, west of Red Lodge, Montana.

I have probably read that verse from Mark several times but it never hit home until today. Before mass was over I took time to say a prayer of Thanksgiving for giving me the desire to want to find my own isolated “desert”, and to take time for rest and recharging by the best power source there is, Jesus Christ.

Where is your “desert”? Where do you go to find peace and quiet? Do you make the time to go? Do you go there with the intention of spending time with Jesus and letting him recharge you? You should! Go! Look for the opportunities. Attend a retreat such as Christ Renews His Parish or Cursillo. Schedule time to meet with faithful men and women from whom you can grow your faith and who will lift you up with encouragement. If this is new to you, signing up for a Bible study at your church is a good place to start. The important thing is to seek Him. Seek Him in a place that offers a measure of solitude and silence where you can listen to God, perhaps through others, and speak to Him in prayer. You will find Him and you’ll be glad you did.

“O, loving and gracious God, I give You thanks for arranging our first meeting where I learned of and felt Your immense love for me. Thank You for rewarding me with Your peace each and every time I have come back to You. Your love increases my faith, and my faith brings me hope for a life of eternity with You. Amen.”

(Finding Rest in the Desert was first published on the blog Reflections of a Lay Catholic)

©2013-2017 Reflections of a Lay Catholic. Reposting and sharing of material in its full and original content is permitted, provided that full and clear credit is given to the author(s) and Reflections of a Lay Catholic.

They Don’t Know What They’re Missing

18 Monday Jul 2016

Posted by Jerry Robinson in Prayer, Thanksgiving

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Tags

Prayer, silence, solitude, Thanksgiving

“They tell me I’m crazy and ask why I subject myself to such suffering. They assume I dread the prospect of it. But, they’re wrong. They don’t understand.

“The 2,320 miles I expect to drive, as opposed to fly, over the next six days – crisscrossing the Midwest from Olathe, Kansas, to Nashville, Tennessee, to Lake Charles, Louisiana then back to Lebanon, Ohio – will be a welcome respite, one I have been looking forward to for over a week. It’s an opportunity to get away from the busy-ness of life and, although it will mean being away from my family for much of that time, it will allow me to get closer to You.

“Lord, You made me the introvert that I am. I thank You for the gift and the ability to look inward, to find peace in a way that strikes others as loneliness and boredom. But, I’m not alone and I’m not bored. I have You, Lord, with Whom I can converse through heart-felt prayer.

“The solitude of being alone behind the wheel, mile after mile, hour after hour, brings a calming peace, a shot-in-the-arm which I need from time to time.

“With the exception of the ‘thuckity-thuck’ of the tires hitting the cracks in the highway, the silence allows me to focus on You. The stereo is turned off, my phone is off. The only way to be distracted from You is if I allow it to happen. My hope is that I will hear Your voice.

“Over the last couple weeks, my time for prayer with You has been limited. I failed to take the opportunity to pray as I should. Over the next few days, I have no excuse. I find comfort and relief in that thought.

“Lord, thank you for this meal I just had somewhere in Missouri. Thank you for the four days I just spent with my daughter, son-in-law, and especially my grandsons. Thank you for my other new grandson I will see in a few days. Thank you for blessing my family with the birth of my youngest daughter 20 years ago today. Thank you for the poison ivy on my right arm – the itch reminds me that I earned it in service to others in Appalachian Kentucky last week. Thank you for letting me see Christ in them. I pray they saw a glimpse of Your Son in me.

“Lord, I pray that You send my guardian angel to watch over and protect me while I’m on the road, and that You do the same for my family while I’m not there with them.

“Lord, I pray that those who struggle to find time to be close to You will find inspiration in this reflection and make time for prayer with You a higher priority. They don’t know what they’re missing.”

(They Don’t Know What They’re Missing was first published on the blog Reflections of a Lay Catholic)

©2016 Reflections of a Lay Catholic. Reposting and sharing of material in its full and original content is permitted, provided that full and clear credit is given to the author(s) and Reflections of a Lay Catholic.