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Reflections of a Lay Catholic

Reflections of a Lay Catholic

Tag Archives: Jason Gray

St. Joseph: A Man of Mercy

18 Wednesday Dec 2019

Posted by Jerry Robinson in Advent

≈ 2 Comments

Tags

Advent reflection, Forgiveness, Jason Gray, Jesus, Mercy, Miracle, St. Joseph

The Dream of St. Joseph, by Anton Raphael Mengs, 1774

Today’s Gospel is from Matthew 1:18-25, the story leading up to the birth of Jesus. Every year I am reminded about St. Joseph and what may have been going through his heart and mind when he learned that his betrothed was carrying a child that wasn’t his. My reminder is Jason Gray’s song, Forgiveness is a Miracle (A Song for Joseph) from his 2012 album Christmas Stories: Repeat the Sounding Joy, which I dig out of my CD case every year at the beginning of Advent.

Note: Much of this post is excerpted from the original, A Man of Mercy, from 5 December 2013. I am posting it here under a different title because since then we have garnered many new followers who may not have seen that post. Whether this is your first time to read this or your second, my hope is that it encourages you to find a way to grow in love and mercy, and in preparing your heart to be offered as a gift to our Lord on His birthday.

For me, I continue to be struck with each listening by the profound example that Gray paints for us of the mercy extended by Joseph to Mary. He gives us some insight into the divine wisdom of God. Both the Gospel and the song help me to remember God’s will for me every day is always about love.

As I delved into the song, I discovered that Gray had written an article for The Rabbit Room describing the story behind the song and he explores this difficult situation in which Joseph found himself.  I have re-posted his article below and included a link to The Rabbit Room’s website.  I hope you find it as thought provoking as I did.

The Story Behind “Forgiveness Is a Miracle”

by Jason Gray on October 16, 2012

As I approached writing songs for each of the characters in the Christmas story, I felt particularly protective of Joseph, who I think sometimes doesn’t get the attention he’s due. At the very least I know that I’ve been guilty of not really “seeing” him for the remarkable man that he was, and I wanted to amend that. I enlisted my friend Andy Gullahorn, one of the most masterful storytellers I know, to explore a particular moment in Joseph’s story with me.

Taking my cue from Frederick Buechner’s book, “Peculiar Treasures,” in which he breathes new life into biblical characters who have grown so familiar to us that we no longer experience them as real human beings, I hoped to recapture some of the humanity of the people in the Christmas narrative. It was also important to me to try and write songs that were relevant beyond the four weeks between Thanksgiving and Christmas day. I wanted to tell timeless human stories, and with Joseph we have the makings of just that with a love triangle, a question of revenge or forgiveness, and the age old drama of fathers and sons.

As I read his part in the narrative, I found that more than just a foster parent without much to do (as he was often relegated to in my mind), Joseph is revealed as a man after God’s own heart. Faced not only with the news that his fiancée is pregnant, but also with her incredulous story of how it was God’s doing, Joseph’s character is tested and laid out for all of us to see. What will he do? Will he hurt the one who has hurt him? Will he forgive? This is his moment, and all of history waits and watches in wonder.

There are few things more painful than the betrayal and rejection by the one you love most, so we know it must have deeply wounded him—shattering the dreams he may have had of a future with the girl he loved. Pain is like a lightning bolt striking with a violent energy that can’t be held in the human heart for long. It looks for a way out. The way it usually passes through us is in the all too common progression of hurt turning into anger and then into vengeance. Unless the miracle of forgiveness takes place in a person’s heart to absorb it, the pain we experience will pass through us and be visited upon others.

There is debate as to whether it was within Joseph’s power to have her stoned—while Jewish custom might have allowed it, Roman rule did not. However, if not to her body, we know he still could have done violence to her reputation and her heart. But I believe that Joseph did the hard work of bringing his pain to God rather than letting it pass through him, and that God graced him with the miracle of forgiveness. The narrative tells us he was a “godly man” and that instead of doing her harm, “he decided to dismiss her quietly” so that she wouldn’t be publicly shamed. He took the full force of the blow and–acting as the husband he might have been–became a covering over her supposed sin.

It’s hard for us to experience the tension in Joseph’s story since, as the reader, we know from the start that she isn’t guilty of what he naturally supposes and that God is up to something beautiful that the world has never seen before. But to see Joseph for who he is, I have to remember that he couldn’t know these things in real time. It was only after he had given himself to the work of forgiveness that the angel appeared to him in a dream to tell him that what Mary had said was true after all, and that he should marry her.

It occurred to me that perhaps this is where Joseph’s heart was proven—if not to God who already knew his heart, then perhaps to himself. (I haven’t met a man yet who isn’t daunted by the responsibility of being a father, let alone a father to the Son of God. Maybe this was a test to reveal to Joseph what kind of man he could be.) In this moment he is found to be a man of mercy, which I imagine to be just the kind of man that God was looking for to be the earthly father of his son Jesus. In a way, we see that Joseph carries in his heart the same world changing power of forgiveness that Mary carried in her womb.

It’s also meaningful to me to think of how Joseph forgiving Mary is part of the story that leads to the birth of the savior in whom Joseph would find forgiveness for his own sins. Perhaps it’s the narrative form of Jesus’ teaching that as we forgive we find ourselves forgiven.

As we wrote the song, it was good to be reminded that forgiveness is a kind of miracle. I could be wrong, but I’m not sure that we can muster up forgiveness on our own. It seems to me to be a supernatural force of renewal that we participate in as we point our hearts toward it, pray for it, and make room for it in our lives, but that ultimately we receive it as a gift from God, in his due time.

Forgiveness Is A Miracle (A Song For Joseph)
By Jason Gray / Andy Gullahorn
From Christmas Stories: Repeat the Sounding Joy

Love can make a soul come alive
Love can draw a dream out of the darkness
And blow every door open wide
But love can leave you broken hearted

Did she dare to look you in the eye
Did her betrayal leave you raging?
Did you let her see you cry
When she said the child was not your baby?

Pain can turn to anger then to vengeance
It happens time and again
Even in the best of men
It takes a miracle to save us

When love is like an open wound
There’s no way to stop the bleeding
Did you lose sleep over what to do?
Between what’s just and what brings healing

Pain can be a road to find compassion
When we don’t understand, and bring a better end
It takes a miracle to show us

Forgiveness is a miracle
A miracle
And a miracle can change your world
Forgiveness is a miracle

An angel in a dream spoke into your darkest night
So you trusted in the Lord and you took her as your wife
But the forgiveness that you gave would be given back to you
Because you carried in your heart what she was holding in her womb

Love was in a crowded barn
There you were beside her kneeling
You held it in your arms
As the miracle started breathing

Forgiveness is the miracle
The miracle
And a miracle will change your world
Forgiveness is the miracle
Forgiveness is the miracle
The miracle
A miracle will save the world
Forgiveness is the miracle
Forgiveness is the miracle
Forgiveness is the miracle

Blessed Joseph
Your heart is proven
And through you the Kingdom has come
For God delights in a man of mercy
And has found an earthly father for his son

(St. Joseph: A Man of Mercy was first published on the blog Reflections of a Lay Catholic)

©2019 Reflections of a Lay Catholic. Reposting and sharing of material in its full and original content is permitted, provided that full and clear credit is given to the author(s) and Reflections of a Lay Catholic.

A Man of Mercy (Reposted from the Archives)

19 Wednesday Dec 2018

Posted by Jerry Robinson in Advent, Bible Reflections, Christmas, Forgiveness, Love, Mercy

≈ 5 Comments

Tags

Forgiveness, Jason Gray, Jesus, Joseph, Love, Mary, Matthew 1:18-25, Mercy, Miracle

Since yesterday’s Gospel was from Matthew 1:18-25, the story of the birth of Jesus, I meant to post this yesterday. But, I got busy with other stuff and forgot. Every year during Advent I think about St. Joseph and what was going through his heart and mind when he learned that his betrothed was carrying a child that wasn’t his. And, I’m reminded of Jason Gray’s song Forgiveness is a Miracle (A Song for Joseph) (link to YouTube music video) in which he paints for us a profound example of mercy that was offered by Joseph, and gives us some insight into the divine wisdom of God. Both the Gospel and the song help me to remember God’s will for me every day is always about love. I hope you enjoy the song, that it encourages you to find a way to grow in love and mercy, and that it helps you prepare your heart to be offered as a gift to our Lord on His birthday. Let me know what you think.

God bless you and may this be your best Advent and Christmas ever!

A Man of Mercy(Reprinted from 5 December 2013)

About this time last year I was listening to a new CD I had purchased by my new favorite singer/songwriter, Jason Gray.  The CD is called Christmas Stories: Repeat the Sounding Joy.  One particular song on it, “Forgiveness Is A Miracle (A Song For Joseph)”, caught my attention because it was so different from any other Christmas song I had ever heard.  Plus, its subject was something which I had never considered:  what was going through Joseph’s mind and heart prior to, and during, his wife giving birth to not his son, but Jesus, the Son of God?

I discovered that Jason Gray had written an article for The Rabbit Room describing the story behind the song and he explores this difficult situation in which Joseph found himself.  I have re-posted his article below and included a link to The Rabbit Room’s website.  I hope you find it as thought provoking as I did.

http://www.rabbitroom.com/2012/10/the-story-behind-forgiveness-is-a-miracle/
Joseph manger stained glass

The Story Behind “Forgiveness Is a Miracle”

by Jason Gray on October 16, 2012

As I approached writing songs for each of the characters in the Christmas story, I felt particularly protective of Joseph, who I think sometimes doesn’t get the attention he’s due. At the very least I know that I’ve been guilty of not really “seeing” him for the remarkable man that he was, and I wanted to amend that. I enlisted my friend Andy Gullahorn, one of the most masterful storytellers I know, to explore a particular moment in Joseph’s story with me.

Taking my cue from Frederick Buechner’s book, “Peculiar Treasures,” in which he breathes new life into biblical characters who have grown so familiar to us that we no longer experience them as real human beings, I hoped to recapture some of the humanity of the people in the Christmas narrative. It was also important to me to try and write songs that were relevant beyond the four weeks between Thanksgiving and Christmas day. I wanted to tell timeless human stories, and with Joseph we have the makings of just that with a love triangle, a question of revenge or forgiveness, and the age old drama of fathers and sons.

As I read his part in the narrative, I found that more than just a foster parent without much to do (as he was often relegated to in my mind), Joseph is revealed as a man after God’s own heart. Faced not only with the news that his fiancée is pregnant, but also with her incredulous story of how it was God’s doing, Joseph’s character is tested and laid out for all of us to see. What will he do? Will he hurt the one who has hurt him? Will he forgive? This is his moment, and all of history waits and watches in wonder.

There are few things more painful than the betrayal and rejection by the one you love most, so we know it must have deeply wounded him—shattering the dreams he may have had of a future with the girl he loved. Pain is like a lightning bolt striking with a violent energy that can’t be held in the human heart for long. It looks for a way out. The way it usually passes through us is in the all too common progression of hurt turning into anger and then into vengeance. Unless the miracle of forgiveness takes place in a person’s heart to absorb it, the pain we experience will pass through us and be visited upon others.

There is debate as to whether it was within Joseph’s power to have her stoned—while Jewish custom might have allowed it, Roman rule did not. However, if not to her body, we know he still could have done violence to her reputation and her heart. But I believe that Joseph did the hard work of bringing his pain to God rather than letting it pass through him, and that God graced him with the miracle of forgiveness. The narrative tells us he was a “godly man” and that instead of doing her harm, “he decided to dismiss her quietly” so that she wouldn’t be publicly shamed. He took the full force of the blow and–acting as the husband he might have been–became a covering over her supposed sin.

It’s hard for us to experience the tension in Joseph’s story since, as the reader, we know from the start that she isn’t guilty of what he naturally supposes and that God is up to something beautiful that the world has never seen before. But to see Joseph for who he is, I have to remember that he couldn’t know these things in real time. It was only after he had given himself to the work of forgiveness that the angel appeared to him in a dream to tell him that what Mary had said was true after all, and that he should marry her.

It occurred to me that perhaps this is where Joseph’s heart was proven—if not to God who already knew his heart, then perhaps to himself. (I haven’t met a man yet who isn’t daunted by the responsibility of being a father, let alone a father to the Son of God. Maybe this was a test to reveal to Joseph what kind of man he could be.) In this moment he is found to be a man of mercy, which I imagine to be just the kind of man that God was looking for to be the earthly father of his son Jesus. In a way, we see that Joseph carries in his heart the same world changing power of forgiveness that Mary carried in her womb.

It’s also meaningful to me to think of how Joseph forgiving Mary is part of the story that leads to the birth of the savior in whom Joseph would find forgiveness for his own sins. Perhaps it’s the narrative form of Jesus’ teaching that as we forgive we find ourselves forgiven.

As we wrote the song, it was good to be reminded that forgiveness is a kind of miracle. I could be wrong, but I’m not sure that we can muster up forgiveness on our own. It seems to me to be a supernatural force of renewal that we participate in as we point our hearts toward it, pray for it, and make room for it in our lives, but that ultimately we receive it as a gift from God, in his due time.

Forgiveness Is A Miracle (A Song For Joseph)
By Jason Gray / Andy Gullahorn
From Christmas Stories: Repeat the Sounding Joy

Love can make a soul come alive
Love can draw a dream out of the darkness
And blow every door open wide
But love can leave you broken hearted

Did she dare to look you in the eye
Did her betrayal leave you raging?
Did you let her see you cry
When she said the child was not your baby?

Pain can turn to anger then to vengeance
It happens time and again
Even in the best of men
It takes a miracle to save us

When love is like an open wound
There’s no way to stop the bleeding
Did you lose sleep over what to do?
Between what’s just and what brings healing

Pain can be a road to find compassion
When we don’t understand, and bring a better end
It takes a miracle to show us

Forgiveness is a miracle
A miracle
And a miracle can change your world
Forgiveness is a miracle

An angel in a dream spoke into your darkest night
So you trusted in the Lord and you took her as your wife
But the forgiveness that you gave would be given back to you
Because you carried in your heart what she was holding in her womb

Love was in a crowded barn
There you were beside her kneeling
You held it in your arms
As the miracle started breathing

Forgiveness is the miracle
The miracle
And a miracle will change your world
Forgiveness is the miracle
Forgiveness is the miracle
The miracle
A miracle will save the world
Forgiveness is the miracle
Forgiveness is the miracle
Forgiveness is the miracle

Blessed Joseph
Your heart is proven
And through you the Kingdom has come
For God delights in a man of mercy
And has found an earthly father for his son

(A Man of Mercy: (Reposted from the Archives) was first published on the blog Reflections of a Lay Catholic)

©2018 Reflections of a Lay Catholic. Reposting and sharing of material in its full and original content is permitted, provided that full and clear credit is given to the author(s) and Reflections of a Lay Catholic.

From the Archives: A Man of Mercy

27 Sunday Nov 2016

Posted by Jerry Robinson in Advent, Christmas, Mercy

≈ 2 Comments

Tags

Advent, Faith, Forgiveness is a Miracle, Jason Gray, Jesus, Joseph, Love, Man of Mercy, Mercy, Year of Mercy

Nativity Scene

With the Jubilee Year of Mercy ending last Sunday and the season of Advent beginning today, I thought I would resurrect this post from December of 2013.  As we begin preparing ourselves for the birth of Jesus, the following perspective of what might have been going through Joseph’s mind and heart in the days before that blessed event serves perfectly to bridge the gap between the Year of Mercy and Advent.  In his song Forgiveness is a Miracle (A Song for Joseph), Jason Gray paints for us a profound example of the mercy that was offered by Joseph, and, in the last verse, gives us insight into the divine wisdom of God.

When I originally posted this I did not include a link to the lyric video of the song. I am including it here Forgiveness is a Miracle (A Song for Joseph) so you can actually hear the song and feel the meaning within. I hope you enjoy it and that it helps you prepare your heart to be offered as a gift to our Lord on His birthday. Let me know what you think.

God bless you and may this be your best Advent ever!

A Man of Mercy  (Reprinted from 5 December 2013)

About this time last year I was listening to a new CD I had purchased by my new favorite singer/songwriter, Jason Gray.  The CD is called Christmas Stories: Repeat the Sounding Joy.  One particular song on it, “Forgiveness Is A Miracle (A Song For Joseph)”, caught my attention because it was so different from any other Christmas song I had ever heard.  Plus, its subject was something which I had never considered:  what was going through Joseph’s mind and heart prior to, and during, his wife giving birth to not his son, but Jesus, the Son of God?

I discovered that Jason Gray had written an article for The Rabbit Room describing the story behind the song and he explores this difficult situation in which Joseph found himself.  I have re-posted his article below and included a link to The Rabbit Room’s website.  I hope you find it as thought provoking as I did.

http://www.rabbitroom.com/2012/10/the-story-behind-forgiveness-is-a-miracle/

Joseph manger stained glass

The Story Behind “Forgiveness Is a Miracle”

by Jason Gray on October 16, 2012

As I approached writing songs for each of the characters in the Christmas story, I felt particularly protective of Joseph, who I think sometimes doesn’t get the attention he’s due. At the very least I know that I’ve been guilty of not really “seeing” him for the remarkable man that he was, and I wanted to amend that. I enlisted my friend Andy Gullahorn, one of the most masterful storytellers I know, to explore a particular moment in Joseph’s story with me.

Taking my cue from Frederick Buechner’s book, “Peculiar Treasures,” in which he breathes new life into biblical characters who have grown so familiar to us that we no longer experience them as real human beings, I hoped to recapture some of the humanity of the people in the Christmas narrative. It was also important to me to try and write songs that were relevant beyond the four weeks between Thanksgiving and Christmas day. I wanted to tell timeless human stories, and with Joseph we have the makings of just that with a love triangle, a question of revenge or forgiveness, and the age old drama of fathers and sons.

As I read his part in the narrative, I found that more than just a foster parent without much to do (as he was often relegated to in my mind), Joseph is revealed as a man after God’s own heart. Faced not only with the news that his fiancée is pregnant, but also with her incredulous story of how it was God’s doing, Joseph’s character is tested and laid out for all of us to see. What will he do? Will he hurt the one who has hurt him? Will he forgive? This is his moment, and all of history waits and watches in wonder.

There are few things more painful than the betrayal and rejection by the one you love most, so we know it must have deeply wounded him—shattering the dreams he may have had of a future with the girl he loved. Pain is like a lightning bolt striking with a violent energy that can’t be held in the human heart for long. It looks for a way out. The way it usually passes through us is in the all too common progression of hurt turning into anger and then into vengeance. Unless the miracle of forgiveness takes place in a person’s heart to absorb it, the pain we experience will pass through us and be visited upon others.

There is debate as to whether it was within Joseph’s power to have her stoned—while Jewish custom might have allowed it, Roman rule did not. However, if not to her body, we know he still could have done violence to her reputation and her heart. But I believe that Joseph did the hard work of bringing his pain to God rather than letting it pass through him, and that God graced him with the miracle of forgiveness. The narrative tells us he was a “godly man” and that instead of doing her harm, “he decided to dismiss her quietly” so that she wouldn’t be publicly shamed. He took the full force of the blow and–acting as the husband he might have been–became a covering over her supposed sin.

It’s hard for us to experience the tension in Joseph’s story since, as the reader, we know from the start that she isn’t guilty of what he naturally supposes and that God is up to something beautiful that the world has never seen before. But to see Joseph for who he is, I have to remember that he couldn’t know these things in real time. It was only after he had given himself to the work of forgiveness that the angel appeared to him in a dream to tell him that what Mary had said was true after all, and that he should marry her.

It occurred to me that perhaps this is where Joseph’s heart was proven—if not to God who already knew his heart, then perhaps to himself. (I haven’t met a man yet who isn’t daunted by the responsibility of being a father, let alone a father to the Son of God. Maybe this was a test to reveal to Joseph what kind of man he could be.) In this moment he is found to be a man of mercy, which I imagine to be just the kind of man that God was looking for to be the earthly father of his son Jesus. In a way, we see that Joseph carries in his heart the same world changing power of forgiveness that Mary carried in her womb.

It’s also meaningful to me to think of how Joseph forgiving Mary is part of the story that leads to the birth of the savior in whom Joseph would find forgiveness for his own sins. Perhaps it’s the narrative form of Jesus’ teaching that as we forgive we find ourselves forgiven.

As we wrote the song, it was good to be reminded that forgiveness is a kind of miracle. I could be wrong, but I’m not sure that we can muster up forgiveness on our own. It seems to me to be a supernatural force of renewal that we participate in as we point our hearts toward it, pray for it, and make room for it in our lives, but that ultimately we receive it as a gift from God, in his due time.

Forgiveness Is A Miracle (A Song For Joseph)

Jason Gray / Andy Gullahorn

from Christmas Stories: Repeat the Sounding Joy

Love can make a soul come alive

Love can draw a dream out of the darkness

And blow every door open wide

But love can leave you broken hearted

Did she dare to look you in the eye

Did her betrayal leave you raging?

Did you let her see you cry

When she said the child was not your baby?

Pain can turn to anger then to vengeance

It happens time and again

Even in the best of men

It takes a miracle to save us

When love is like an open wound

There’s no way to stop the bleeding

Did you lose sleep over what to do?

Between what’s just and what brings healing

Pain can be a road to find compassion

When we don’t understand, and bring a better end

It takes a miracle to show us

Forgiveness is a miracle

A miracle

And a miracle can change your world

Forgiveness is a miracle

An angel in a dream spoke into your darkest night

So you trusted in the Lord and you took her as your wife

But the forgiveness that you gave would be given back to you

Because you carried in your heart what she was holding in her womb

Love was in a crowded barn

There you were beside her kneeling

You held it in your arms

As the miracle started breathing

Forgiveness is the miracle

The miracle

And a miracle will change your world

Forgiveness is the miracle

Forgiveness is the miracle

The miracle

A miracle will save the world

Forgiveness is the miracle

Forgiveness is the miracle

Forgiveness is the miracle

Blessed Joseph

Your heart is proven

And through you the Kingdom has come

For God delights in a man of mercy

And has found an earthly father for his son

(From the Archives: A Man of Mercy was first published on the blog Reflections of a Lay Catholic)

©2016 Reflections of a Lay Catholic. Reposting and sharing of material in its full and original content is permitted, provided that full and clear credit is given to the author(s) and Reflections of a Lay Catholic.

The Best Gift to Give at Christmas

28 Monday Dec 2015

Posted by Jerry Robinson in Christmas, Love, Prayer, Uncategorized

≈ 4 Comments

Tags

Adoration, Christmas, Jason Gray, Love

Adoration of the Magi abraham Bloemaert

The Adoration of the Magi – Abraham Bloemaert

Merry Christmas everyone! I am blessed to have been able to enjoy the holiday with my family, especially my youngest daughter, Grace, who is home from college, and my oldest daughter, Sara, who arrived on Saturday with her husband, Andy, and our granddaughter, Elsa. I hope yours has been filled with love, too.

Even though you won’t hear Christmas music on the radio any longer; in spite of merchants tempting us to spend our money on “after – Christmas” sales; disregarding the store shelves already stocked with Valentine’s Day candy; and overlooking the Christmas decorations being taken down and stored away, for us Catholics, we are just getting into the swing of Christmas. We still have eight more days to celebrate Christmas before the Epiphany of the Lord. Thus, I have no reservations about posting and sharing my Christmas experience with you today.

My wife, Grace, my mother-in-law, and I attended Christmas Vigil Mass on Thursday night. It was a beautiful mass, the church was decorated perfectly, the choir was almost angelic – all of which provided the perfect setting for the celebration of a reverent occasion, the birth of our Lord, Jesus Christ.

Since it was already Christmas when we returned home from Mass, we took a leisurely approach in the morning by sleeping in until about half past seven. The last to rise was Grace. The difference in the level of excitement and anticipation between this child who used to not sleep at all on Christmas Eve night, and the college sophomore she is now, was obvious.

Gift opening was laid back. Gone are the days of wrapping paper and bows being flung everywhere. Our approach this year was more methodical and appreciative. When it was over, we actually remembered from whom we received each gift.

Christmas dinner was a masterpiece! My wife, Melinda, out did herself once again. I could have easily over indulged but I honored the “one-plate” rule (said rule does not restrict how high food may be piled on that one plate). Dessert, however, had to wait a couple hours. And, we were blessed with guests who accepted our invitation for dinner and to share the afternoon with us.

Since Christmas was on Friday, I excused myself for an hour and drove to church for my regularly scheduled weekly Holy hour of Adoration at four o’clock. As I knelt on the prie-dieu and gazed up at the tabernacle, the special-ness of the occasion struck me. There I was, one-on-one, with my Lord, Jesus, on His birthday.

I remembered uttering earlier in the morning when I rolled out of bed, “Good morning, Jesus, and happy birthday!”, but this was much more up close and personal. A casual, “How do you do” and, “Oh, by the way….” didn’t seem fitting.

As I do with all my prayers, I started by giving thanks for the many blessings He bestows upon me, especially the gift of my family and our love for each other. I gave thanks for His love and mercy to me, never deserved but always welcome.

I realized there was a certain amount of irony at work here. It was His birthday, but He was the one giving and I was the one receiving. Nevertheless, I wondered what gifts Jesus was hoping for on this special day.

The first which came to mind was our gratitude for all the gifts He gives to us. I think there are actually two gifts wrapped as one in our gratefulness: our realization that His blessings are indeed gifts given freely through His eternal love for us; and the thankfulness we extend to Him through our prayers.

Another fine birthday present I’m sure He appreciates is seeing our love for each other, especially to the needy and ones less fortunate than ourselves. And, I couldn’t help but think how He must wish we would extend that love throughout the year instead of reserving it for His birthday celebration.

Then, as I continued pondering, the words from the first two lyrics to one of my favorite Christmas songs, Easier (The Song of the Wisemen)1 by Jason Gray, came to mind:

It’s easier to give a gift of gold

Than to give my heart for another to hold.

It’s easier.

It’s easier to give You the things I do

Than to open my life and let You walk through.

It’s easier.

Do I hide behind my offerings

While You’re hoping for the heart of me?

Am I the only gift

That You long for me to give?

In reflecting upon these words, I realized the most precious gift any of us can give the King of Kings is the gift of our own hearts. And, by extension, the best gift we can give to anyone – our family, friends, and fellow human beings in general – is the same: to step out from hiding behind our material gifts and give what really matters – our heart-felt love.

“Heavenly Father, please help me to be grateful for all your gifts, and to give the gift that really matters – my heart – to You, my family and to all Your children throughout the entire year. Amen.”

1Easier (The Song of the Wisemen) by Jason Gray, ©2012 Centricity Music

(The Best Gift to Give at Christmas was first published on the blog Reflections of a Lay Catholic)

©2015 Reflections of a Lay Catholic. Reposting and sharing of material in its full and original content is permitted, provided that full and clear credit is given to the author(s) and Reflections of a Lay Catholic.

A Better Way to Live

14 Friday Aug 2015

Posted by Jerry Robinson in Charity

≈ Leave a comment

Tags

Charity, Christian Community, Hand in Hand Ministries, Jason Gray, Northeast Christian

SFDS Volunteers

SFDS Volunteers

Sometimes my work prevents me from writing as timely as I would like and still be able to keep the topic relevant. Such has been the case the last three weeks but, I feel, this post is relevant regardless of the delay. 

Three weeks ago I accompanied nine others from our parish on a three-day mission trip to Appalachia Kentucky where we worked with Hand in Hand Ministries – Auxier Center to improve the living conditions of three homes in Floyd and Johnson Counties. We joined nine men and women from Northeast Christian Church in Louisville, and the Hand in Hand staff, and together we made a difference. In the words of one of the homeowners, our work was “The Miracle” for which she had prayed. And, to quote one of our volunteers, “they were three of the most rewarding days I’ve ever experienced!”

Hand in Hand Ministries identified and staged the projects on which we would work. Shortly after we arrived in Auxier the staff described the work to be done and we signed up for the project of our choice.

Ms. Doris' work team

Ms. Doris’ work team

I joined with Bill from our group and, along with Vicki, Ben, Maureen, Joe and Sam from the Louisville contingent, we worked at Ms. Doris’ house. The old metal roof on her house leaked and caused the ceiling in a bedroom to deteriorate and sag; and the floors in that bedroom and in the bathroom had decayed and needed replacement.

I am always amazed at how the Lord puts the right people in the right place. Without any evaluation of skills, the seven of us fell into the part of the project that suited us best: three of us worked in the bedroom, a couple in the bathroom, and two more on the roof. It was a real-life application of Paul’s letter in 1 Corinthians 12:1-30, “18 But, as it is, God placed the parts, each one of them, in the body as He intended”. Directed as necessary by our crew leader, Joe, we worked “hand-in-hand” completing the work as three teams within a team. We helped each other, looked out for each other’s safety, and learned from and laughed with each other as we worked.

The work wasn’t easy. There was a lot of kneeling and a lot of overhead work. It was hot. The roof was steep. It was close quarters. But, it was fun and rewarding.

Perhaps the most rewarding part was building a relationship with Ms. Doris and her son, Matt, and hearing their story and their love for the Lord. I doubt they knew that their heart-warming smiles and humble gratitude inspired us to do our best.

When we finished on Saturday, my sore knees and tired shoulders didn’t feel so bad when Ms. Doris wrapped her arms around me and gave me a hug in appreciation for the work we had done.

Ms. Bertha's work team

Ms. Bertha’s work team

My wife, Melinda, joined friends Clay, Monica and Wyiona, as well as Lee and Dorothy from Louisville, and crew leaders, Alan and Jim, at Ms. Bertha’s house to remove and replace her roof, ceilings and insulation, and make other interior repairs.

I didn’t visit Ms. Bertha’s house but when we gathered at the end of the day back at the Center it was fun to listen to the memories created that day at her house. On Friday evening, Ms. Bertha joined us for dinner and left no doubt that she was the character I had envisioned her to be. She is one of the most humble, pleasant, and grateful people I have ever met. With respect to material things, and in comparison to us volunteers, she didn’t have much. But, she had a love for the Lord, she had food, would soon have a roof over her head that didn’t leak, and she had some new friends. In her mind she was rich. She stole our hearts and her attitude and gratefulness taught us all a thing or two.

Roofiing at Ms. Elveeta's

Roofiing at Ms. Elveeta’s

My friends Carl, Tom, Gary and Brian teamed up with Kevin and Tristan from Louisville, and crew leader, Jackie, and replaced the leaking roof on Ms. Elveeta’s house. Completing their work on Friday, they moved to Ms. Bertha’s house on Saturday to help continue the roof replacement there. I didn’t visit their project, either, but I knew from their conversation and their smiles at the end of each day that their efforts were also rewarding.

Everyone

We built relationships with those we served, and also with our fellow volunteers. Whether it was on the job, or back at the Center during downtime, or dancing at the U.S. 23 Music Highway Museum on Thursday night, we took the time to listen, encourage, have fun, and get to know each other.

By Saturday afternoon we had completed the work to be done on two homes and the next crew to come would complete Ms. Bertha’s house. We had made new friends, some with whom we will keep in touch. We had taught others a few things and we learned a few things from them. We all left with more than that with which we arrived.

And, by Saturday afternoon, the ten of us from St. Francis de Sales were looking towards next year’s trip and thinking of other men and women we could invite to volunteer and experience with us the joy of serving and bringing Christ to others.


Two weeks ago as I was driving someplace on business, I began assembling this post in my head. I was listening to music and a familiar song came on the stereo, Better Way to Live1, by Christian artist, Jason Gray. It’s a good song and for the first time the lyrics really resounded with me and I realized they applied perfectly to our experience:

“… When I saw the world out my window
With a broken heart I came alive
I was made for something more

“When we step aside from the center of our lives
When we learn to love mercy more than being right
Pursuing peace and honesty
Starting down the road of selflessness
And seeing where it leads

“All I know is there’s a better way to live
We were made for so much more than this
It’s not the love you have but the love you have to give
All I know is there’s a better way, a better way to live”

Helping others is, indeed, a better way to live!


Postscript: Thanks to our benevolent friends, family and fellow parishioners who donated generously to help offset the cost of the trip.

1 Better Way To Live, words and music by Jason Gray & Chad Cates, ©2009 Centricity Music Publishing/ Newspring Publishing/Upper Cates Music (ASCAP)

(A Better Way to Live was first published on the blog Reflections of a Lay Catholic)

©2015 Reflections of a Lay Catholic. Reposting and sharing of material in its full and original content is permitted, provided that full and clear credit is given to the author(s) and Reflections of a Lay Catholic.

Put Your Faith Where Your Prayer Is

10 Tuesday Feb 2015

Posted by Jerry Robinson in Faith, Fear, Hope, Prayer, Reconciliation, Scripture

≈ 9 Comments

Tags

Faith, Fear, God-moments, Hope, Jason Gray, Mary, Prayer, Reconciliation, Rosary

Photo: Catholicexchange.com

Photo: Catholicexchange.com

On January 5th I became a grandfather for the second time. My grandson, Jack, and his parents came home from the hospital on the 7th. On the evening of the 8th Jack stopped breathing. 

My wife, Melinda, was holding him when the event occurred. Her sister, Barbara, who is an RN, and her husband, Dave, a physician, had stopped by to visit and see the new arrival as they were driving from South Dakota to St. Louis. They helped revive him. The EMTs arrived and whisked Jack to the hospital where he spent the next 17 days undergoing a plethora of tests. Jack is home now and doing well.

But, this story really isn’t about Jack. I needed to set the stage with his life-threatening event in order to relate the life-changing experience I had because of it.

In my life I have had no major tragedies, and only one significant infirmity, within my immediate family. Thus, after Melinda phoned me the next morning, I wasn’t as cool and collected as I had been trained to be in emergency situations. Panicked would be a better adjective. I prepared to go home, pack a bag, and start the ten hour drive from Ohio to Kansas City. But first, I sent an email to friends from church and to the coordinator of our parish prayer chain describing the situation and asking for prayers.

I’ve never driven so far with something so heavy weighing on my heart and mind. Before I reached Indianapolis I found myself crying, fraught with fear for Jack’s health and grief for Lisa and Joe. I felt helpless. I’m a man and an engineer. One of my jobs is to fix problems. Not knowing how to fix little Jack nor how to comfort my daughter was eating me up.

At a rest stop just past Indy I checked my phone for emails. Angie, a dear friend back home, emailed saying she believed that Jack’s guardian angel was with him the night before. Had he been lying down instead of being held, he could have stopped breathing with no one the wiser. Then, she stressed that Barb and Dave were there by no mere coincidence. She believed they were sent there by God at just the moment Jack needed them. Her message was so positive and encouraging, and she lifted my spirits.

But, by the time I reached Illinois I was again in a state of despair. Searching the console between the seats for a napkin to wipe my tears, I found, instead, one of my rosaries. I don’t know how it got there; I don’t remember putting it there. I am not accomplished at praying the Rosary but I sensed I was meant to find that rosary at that moment, and, if there was ever a time to ask Our Lady to intercede and help me in my prayers to Jesus, I felt this was it.

It was Friday and the Sorrowful Mysteries were to be prayed. I contemplated the first Mystery, The Agony of Jesus in the Garden, and read, “In praying to the Father, Jesus found strength, trust, and an angel was sent to comfort Him. So, Jesus will be your comforting angel. It’s as He said to us, ‘Why do you worry in your difficulties? Be strong in Me; look to your God in your most troubled hour, and you will be triumphant.’”

The second Mystery, The Scourging of Jesus at the Pillar, reminded me to bear my pain for the love of our Lord. The third Mystery, The Crowning with Thorns, suggested, “He seems to say to us, ‘Why do you despair when you suffer? Is that the way you love me? Meditate about my passions.’ Let us ask for the gift of patience in our suffering.”

In the fourth Mystery, The Carrying of the Cross, I contemplated how Jesus accepted His suffering out of His love for us. I thought about how His Mother, Mary, must have felt as they met on the road to Calvary. “Oh, how Her Heart must have ached.” I felt we had something in common.

And, finally, as I prayed the fifth Mystery, The Crucifixion and Death of Jesus, I was reminded of Jesus’ words to his disciple just before He died, “Behold your Mother”, and how He wishes that we depend on Her Immaculate Heart for a refuge.

Over the next couple hours I thought much about these messages. I didn’t know how to “give it up”, so I prayed fervently for the Lord to help me help Jack and his parents.

West of St. Louis I took my rosary in hand and prayed again. This time I asked the Lord to take away my pain and suffering or, at least, let me bear it so that Jack and his parents would not have to.

I arrived at the hospital in time to see Jack for a few minutes before visiting hours were over. Seeing him connected to all those wires and tubes was difficult. But, seeing the fear in Lisa’s and Joe’s eyes was even more so.

That night, before bed, I prayed for God to help them and to help me know what to do.

On Saturday morning I saw an article on social media about self-pity and how we need to look to God instead of to ourselves. This drifted in and out of my conscious thoughts the rest of the morning.

Also that morning, I discovered a headlight out on my car. I didn’t need that, but I knew it would need repairing before heading home the next day. I spent a few precious minutes with Jack back at the hospital before I left for the dealership. Standing there, unable to hold him, I still felt helpless. I knew Lisa felt the same way.

On my way to the dealership, I recalled Angie’s note, the messages I received from praying the Rosary, the message about self-pity, and my despair of not knowing what to do. Then, with the images of Jack wired to the monitors, and the concern on my daughter’s face, my emotions reached a climax. I’m not sure how to explain what happened next. I think I realized it was all beyond me, that only God could help. I think, in my heart, I finally gave it up to Him. I say “I think” because, in the nanosecond in which I made that leap of faith, I went from bewilderment to immediate, unprecedented, and intense joy. I instantly began praying, “Thank you, Jesus, thank you!” In that moment when I had unconsciously placed my trust in Him, He told me Jack was going to be okay. I also knew that my faith had finally become more than words.

Over the next couple hours, He reinforced my faith with more God-moments. Afraid I was likely to have a wreck, I got control of my emotions. I turned on the stereo and the first song I heard was one from Jason Gray, A Way to See in the Dark1:

“Here I am begging for certainty again / But simple trust is what You’re asking me to give…

“The question mark hung at the end of every fear / Is answered by the promise that You are with me here / And that’s all I’ve got when the lights go out and I lose my way / So, I’ll close my eyes, I won’t be afraid, I won’t be afraid.

“And, I’ll reach for your hand in the night / When the shadows swallow the light / ‘Cause I’m giving up, giving in / Once again a childlike faith is my only way to see in the dark….”

I have listened to this song hundreds of times but this was the first time I actually heard its message. It was like Jesus telling me, “Son, how many times do I have to tell you to trust in Me?”

At the moment I pulled into the dealership I received a text from Eric, a friend back home, saying he was praying for Jack and the rest of us. This text was special because Eric is the one person I know who routinely says, “Let go and let God.” It was as if he intuitively knew I had just done so for the first time in my life.

Preparing for a long wait, I grabbed my rosary and a devotional from my back pack. Since it was Saturday, the Joyful Mysteries were the prayers of the day (Coincidence? I don’t think so!). My take-away message from this Rosary was, “In the difficulties of life, the only safety is finding Jesus and never again leaving his great love.”

I had not taken time that morning to read Saturday’s scriptures. The first reading for January 10th included 1 John 5:14-15, and said, “Beloved: We have this confidence in him that if we ask anything according to his will, he hears us. And if we know that he hears us in regard to whatever we ask, we know that what we have asked him for is ours.” God was telling me again, “Trust me!”

The Gospel for that day, included John 3:30: “He must increase; I must decrease.” It was a reminder to look constantly to Jesus instead of inwardly with self-pity like I had the last day and a half.

From my devotional for January 10th I read: “Practice trusting Me during quiet days, when nothing much seems to be happening. Then when storms come, your trust balance will be sufficient to see you through. Store up for yourself treasure in heaven, through placing your trust in Me. This practice will keep you in My Peace.”2

I thought, “Okay, Lord, I get it now. In one hour, You have, in several ways, affirmed there is no such thing as despair if I will only put my faith and hope in You.”

Finally, I read the daily reflection from Presentation Ministries. It referenced 1 John 5:16 saying, “Many have not had Christmas because they have not repented of sin in their lives. Through the Lord’s forgiveness, they will be given Christmas just before the season ends. On this second to last day of the Christmas season, go to Confession. For so many, Confession is the key to Christmas.”

At 2:10 p.m. my car was repaired. I wanted to get back to the hospital to see more of Jack, but, I now felt pulled to go to Reconciliation. I found the Queen of the Holy Rosary Church was on my route back to the hospital and they had Confession at 2:30 p.m. I arrived there at 2:27 p.m. After relating my story to the priest and confessing my sin of not trusting God, he assigned me a penance to say a prayer of Thanksgiving.

When I returned to the hospital and saw the little man again I knew in my heart he was going to be okay. I didn’t know when but I knew, in God’s time, he would be. I felt the positive power of hundreds of prayers being said for him. I was at peace.

It is in these God-moments, when the Lord reveals Himself to me, that I feel closest to Him. I now know what Eric means by, “Let go and let God.” I know what trusting in Him means. And, I now know how to put my faith where my prayer is.

(Put Your Faith Where Your Prayer Is was first published in Reflections of a Lay Catholic)

1 A Way To See In the Dark, ©2011 Centricity Music Publishing, (ASCAP)/Nothing is Wasted Music (ASCAP)/Simply Complex Songs (SESAC)/Countermechanical Music (SESAC)/Centric Songs (SESAC), words and music by Jason Gray, Doug McKelvey, and Seth Mosley.

2Jesus Calling, ©2014 Sarah Young, Thomas Nelson Publishing

©2015 Reflections of a Lay Catholic. Reposting and sharing of material in its full and original content is permitted, provided that full and clear credit is given to the author(s) and Reflections of a Lay Catholic.

The Innkeeper and His Wife

19 Friday Dec 2014

Posted by Jerry Robinson in Christmas, Grace and Mercy, Love, Mary, Reconciliation

≈ 2 Comments

Tags

A.J. Cronin, Charity, Christmas, Grace, Innkeeper, Innkeeper's wife, Jason Gray, Love, Reconciliation

Nativity SceneAs a youngster I remember being read Christmas stories of the Nativity. The most prominent memory is that of Mary and Joseph being refused accommodations at the inn in Bethlehem. I thought what a terrible man the innkeeper must have been to refuse giving a room to a poor pregnant girl and her husband, especially since she was carrying baby Jesus!

This memory came back to me the other day from two different sources. First, as I dusted off my Christmas music CDs, I found Christmas Stories: Repeat the Sounding Joy, by Jason Gray. Track 4 on the CD is titled Rest (The Song of the Innkeeper)1, a story from the perspective of the innkeeper.

Then, I was looking through my library and I found the classic short story, The Innkeeper’s Wife2,by A.J. Cronin, a Scotsman, who, was commissioned to write a Christmas story for the December 21, 1958 issue of The American Weekly magazine. As his title suggests, he chose to write from the wife’s perspective.

After my last post in which I tried to imagine being in the shoes of Mary’s parents, Joachim and Anne, I found myself contemplating the Nativity of our Lord by comparing the perspectives of both the innkeeper and his wife through the lens of these two story tellers. I’d like to invite you to imagine back and make this journey with me:

It’s December in Palestine. There’s a dusting of snow on the ground and a chill in the air.

Residents are under the oppressive thumb of the Roman procurator, Herod, and “forced to worship as idols the deified Emperor set up in the temple.”2 Herod has ordered that all people must go to the temple to register for the census and pay their taxes.

There is a constant stream of people transiting through Bethlehem. Our innkeeper, Elah2, laments, “There were no rooms to rent tonight, the only empty bed is mine, I’m overbooked and overrun, with so many things that must be done, until I’m numb and running blind!”1   He is turning people away.

This has been going on for weeks. Elah and his wife, Seraia2, are running out of food to feed their guests. They’re making money but it is wearing on them. Their marriage is strained and Seraia is getting hints of Elah’s possible infidelity.

It’s been a rough, tense day for the two when a young, pregnant woman and her older husband, cold and dirty with worn robes, come into the inn asking for shelter. Now comes the moment of reckoning – how the proprietors respond to Joseph’s and Mary’s plea.

In Gray’s story, the innkeeper turns the pair away from the inn but leaves us to assume that, with some measure of charity, he offers his stable to Joseph and Mary (“…But at least they won’t be wondering, if they’re sleeping on my stable floor”).

He confesses his belief that his people will be delivered from their current plight by a Messiah, but he alludes that perhaps the busyness of life doesn’t give him the time he needs to pray for it (“As a boy I heard the old men sing, about a Kingdom and a coming King. But keeping books and changing beds put a different song inside my head, and the melody is deafening.”). Then, in his fatigue, the innkeeper makes a desperate plea for deliverance (“I need rest, I need rest, Oh come oh come Emmanuel, with a sword deliver Israel, I need rest!”).

Gray closes his song with a beautiful bit of irony. Believing that the Messiah will be a sword wielding King, it never crosses the innkeeper’s mind that his Savior, and the peace for which he is searching, is lying in a bed of straw in his own manger (“Tonight I can’t get any sleep with those shepherds shouting in the streets. A star is shining much too bright, somewhere I hear a baby cry, and all I want is a little peace.”).

In A.J. Cronin’s short story, he draws us deeper into the event by closely examining the players: Elah, Seraia, and Malthace, one of the hired help and Elah’s supposed mistress.

Seraia, the wife, is introduced as loving, tolerant, and forgiving, but emotionally bruised from the loss of a baby during child-birth which has driven a wedge between her and her husband. Now, Elah has turned his attention to the alluring Malthace leaving Seraia lonely and ignored.

Elah is obviously struggling to cope with the pace of business due to the influx of travelers into Bethlehem. He is gruff, self-centered and bedraggled.

When Mary and Joseph present themselves at the inn looking for a place to stay, Elah angrily turns them away without a shred of charity. Seraia, on the other hand, exhibits compassion for the couple and, through her gentle heart, takes pity on them and leads them to the stable, a small cave cut into the bank opposite the inn, and invites them to shelter there.

The story continues with the birth of Jesus and Seraia befriending the couple, helping them care for the baby Jesus. She retrieves from her room the swaddling clothes she made for her baby, but which were never used, and offers them to Mary for her special baby. Seraia develops a bond with Mary and falls in love with the infant child.

Seraia is observant and notices that ever since the child was born there has been a new bright start in the eastern night sky and it has been moving higher each night. She mentions this to Elah but he is more intent to complain about the racket from the lowly shepherds who have come down from the hills “proclaiming tidings of great joy for all people, crying aloud that light was come into the world, that the glory of the Lord was around them.”

Elah eventually learns that his wife has been sheltering the couple and that their child has been born. He does finally notice the new bright and rising star and soon encounters “three horsemen, richly dressed and of dark complexion” who are perhaps “potentates from the East”. These strange visitors will have nothing to do with him but, instead, head straight for the stable. He notices that each is carrying a rare and valuable gift: one of gold, one of frankincense, and one of myrrh.

Curious, Elah sneaks a peek into the stable and there sees Mary and Joseph, the three esteemed visitors, and Jesus being held by his mother. While he observes the presentation of the gifts, “the child in his mother’s arms moved slightly and turned its gaze full upon him. As that single glance from those innocent and unreproachful eyes, filled with such tenderness and grace, fell upon the innkeeper, he could not sustain it. A shock passed through him, his own glance fell to the ground. Instinctively he turned away and, like one intent only upon escape, went back across the yard as though pursued.”

Elah is shaken. He is suddenly aware of his guilt: his lack of love towards his wife; the absence of charity to the couple in his stable; and his dearth of compassion to everyone else. He makes a commitment to change and set things right. He finds kindness towards Seraia; dismisses Malthace; and makes an attempt to make amends to Mary and Joseph only to find that they have departed because, according to Seraia, “Herod, the procurator, means evil towards the little one.”

The story closes with husband and wife finding peace and restoring their love for each other. Seraia vows to remember and celebrate the anniversary of the birth of this special child. And, in a strange twist, the innkeepers are recompensed for their hospitality when they find, left behind in the manger, the King’s gift of gold in the rough shape of a cross.

Both Gray and Cronin present very imaginative stories in their own right. In Gray’s, the innkeeper was so set on believing their savior would be a mighty warrior king that he never opened his heart to God incarnate. And, in Cronin’s, the innkeeper would have met the same fate had it not been for his forgiving and loving wife who provided shelter to the couple. Through her the opportunity was created for him to gaze upon the Christ child, Who ultimately returned love to his heart.

As I get closer to Christmas, I know Jesus has looked me in the eye and helped me evaluate my heart. He has made me more aware of my love for others and He has helped me see my guilt. I feel fortunate to have, at last night’s penance service, been able to reconcile and receive the grace of His forgiveness. Now, when I give the gift of myself to Him on the anniversary of His birth, my heart will be clean.

How long has it been since you let Him stare into your heart and convict you? It’s not too late.

Merry Christmas and God Bless.

1Rest (The Song of the Innkeeper), Words and music by Jason Gray and Randall Goodgame, ©2012 Centricity Music Publishing & Nothing Is Wasted Music (ASCAP)/Mighty Molecule Music (ASCAP)

2The Innkeeper’s Wife, by A.J. Cronin, ©1958 Hearst Publishing Co., Inc.

©2014 Reflections of a Lay Catholic. Reposting and sharing of material in its full and original content is permitted, provided that full and clear credit is given to the author(s) and Reflections of a Lay Catholic.

Opening the Door between Heaven and Earth

25 Friday Jul 2014

Posted by Jerry Robinson in Charity, Discernment, Love, Prayer

≈ 9 Comments

Tags

C.S. Lewis, Charity, Discernment, Jason Gray, Love, Prayer

I have spent most of the last six days decompressing from one of the most emotionally rewarding experiences of my life, and processing it so I can put it down on paper and relate it to you. Last Wednesday through Saturday I participated in our church’s bi-annual high school youth group Appalachian mission trip where we worked with Hand In Hand Ministries in Auxier, Kentucky.

During those four days I witnessed immense love and compassion for our fellow human beings. It wasn’t just one-way from our group to those whom we went to help. No, it also came from them to us, between the individuals within our own group, and between our group and other groups who were also there to volunteer. Having never been on a mission trip before, I will say my expectation was more along the lines of us giving “alms” to those in need with the exception that we would be giving of our talent and not just our treasure. How wrong I was! The kids and the Hand In Hand staff showed me that the love in true Christian charity, like C.S. Lewis describes in Mere Christianity, is more than just alms and more than an emotion. It is a demonstration of love for another, “A state not of the feelings but of the will.”

I am grateful to God for the experience. And I feel fortunate because the trip almost didn’t happen.

Two weeks before the group planned to depart, Mike, the group leader and parish Religious Director, experienced a personal injury that prevented him from going. As such, the entire trip was in jeopardy unless someone could be found to take his place. Since my daughter, Grace, was going, I was asked if I would go in Mike’s place. After praying about it, I agreed to go. I was excited about volunteering and participating in a new experience, about helping others, and working with our youth to provide them with a valuable life experience.

That optimism came to a screeching halt the next morning when Mike advised that two of the other adult chaperones, a married couple, had let him know they could not go. With only two chaperones left, Kelsea and I, the trip was once again in jeopardy. I saw two options: find two more people, a man and a woman, or cancel the trip. As I spoke to others about our seeming misfortune I heard warnings from them such as: “Well, there’s your sign!”, “You’re not meant to go on this trip”, and, “The good Lord’s sending you a message to not go”. As I listened to them, I began to believe they just might be right.

The next day I had an opportunity to spend an hour in prayer at Adoration. I prayed for help in discerning what to do – scuttle our plans or try to find two other chaperones to join us. As I prayed I became convinced that the setbacks were simply Satan throwing up obstacles testing our resolve to do God’s work. Deciding to move forward, I asked a friend to help me find two more people who were both qualified and willing to go. Fortunately, within a couple days we found two such people, Clay, a good friend of mine, and Becky, a veteran of several similar mission trips.

We met at the church for mass on Wednesday morning. The four of us sat with our five charges: Grace, Kathryn, Seth, Hannah and Tayla, and we received a blessing from our priest. The normal gospel reading for the day was replaced by the Judgment of the Nations passage from Matthew 25: 31-46 (NAB):

“(35) For I was hungry and you gave me food, I was thirsty and you gave me drink, a stranger and you welcomed me, (36) naked and you clothed me, ill and you cared for me, in prison and you visited me….(40) And the king will say to them in reply, ‘Amen, I say to you, whatever you did for one of these least brothers of mine, you did for me.’”

The deacon’s homily referred to Mother Theresa’s work with the poorest of the poor in Calcutta and was a fitting inspiration for us.

After mass, the kids hugged parents and we loaded up into two cars and set off on our four hour drive to Auxier. Along the way we stopped for lunch and took a goofy group picture, and detoured to Natural Bridge State Park for a hike up to its unique rock formation. Both were opportunities to have some fun and begin bonding as a group.

We arrived at the Hand In Hand Ministries Auxier Center on time and were greeted by their friendly staff: Gail, Kevin, and Andrew, and by three summer interns: Aniela, Freddie and Jeremy. We learned we would be sharing our volunteering experience with a dozen or so other adults and youths from the Louisville area and as far away as Arkansas. Gail explained to us the Center’s mission, and introduced us to the projects on which we would work over the next three days. She gave us some background on the people we would be helping. As Gail described the hardships faced by their clients, I began to see the wheels turning in the minds of our kids. They were trying to discern which cause they felt most passionate about and how they could help improve the lives of these people they had never met. Our group split between two projects and we were joined on them by some of the other volunteers.

 The whole group

The whole crew at Hand In Hand Auxier Center

Thursday morning found some of the kids being rousted from bed earlier than they had risen all summer, and we mustered for breakfast, packed lunches, said prayers, and loaded trucks with the tools and supplies we would need for the day. As we loaded up to drive to the clients’ homes, I could see the excitement in the kids’ eyes.

I joined Clay, Kelsea, Tayla, Seth, and others at a home where we would be removing walls and ceilings in a house and reinforcing deteriorated rafters for eventual roof replacement. Becky went with Grace, Kathryn and Hannah, and five others to a house to repair a porch and build a wheelchair ramp to the house. The third home, which we would not go to until Saturday, needed new exterior doors installed as the existing ones would not close. This old house, we learned, had, in the last couple weeks, just received its first electricity and water.

I don’t think anything could have prepared our kids for what they would find as they walked into each of these homes. The obvious poverty and poor living conditions were undeniably foreign to anything they had ever experienced. And, I was almost there with them. We had the opportunity to talk face-to-face with the home owners and learned they wanted nothing more than to have safe and healthy homes for their families. In those first few minutes after arriving, I began to sense a transformation taking place within all of us.

In observing the kids, and looking inward myself, I was reminded of the lyrics from a Jason Gray song, With Every Act Of Love1, wherein he sings of a man who can’t be bothered by a woman’s “heart-cry” written on a cardboard sign she is holding:

“….But when she looks him in the eye / His heart is broken open wide / And he feels the hand of God reach out through him / As heaven touches earth // Oh, we bring the Kingdom come / Oh, with every act of love / Jesus, help us carry You / Alive in us Your light shines through.”

There’s no doubt our hearts were broken open wide during those first few moments. And, over the course of the next two and a half days, I saw and felt the hand of God reach out through me and the other volunteers, bringing heaven to earth, and His Kingdom come with every act of love.

I saw high-schoolers who probably haven’t cleaned their rooms in months jump in and move the homeowner’s personal belongings out of the house so that demolition could begin and do it with care and respect. These same kids, who more than likely complain about washing dishes or mowing the yard, donned Tyvek suits, dust masks, and safety glasses, grabbed crow bars and commenced busting out ceiling drywall with enthusiasm.

 Seiler, Kelsea, & TaylaSuited up for demolition work

I saw compassion by volunteers who took the time to visit with and get to know the homeowners, and who honored the homeowner’s desire to participate in the renovation of their own residence.

Kids took pride in their work, from cutting a straight line in drywall to hammering tacks perfectly straight and spaced to fasten anti-slip treads on a wheelchair ramp.

There were some kids who were less outgoing than others but were invited into the extra-curricular activities in the evenings by the other kids. It was like there was some unwritten and unspoken morality which everyone knew and honored by ensuring nobody was left out.

I saw kids with more skill and experience watching out for those with less ability and helping them to learn and perform. Never did I see anyone suggest that “this is my job and that is yours”. I witnessed volunteers relieving sweaty and dirty workers so they could grab a bottle of water and cool off without the work stopping. I saw eager teamwork in action by people who had only known each other for a few hours.

Grace w circ saw

Learning to use a circular saw

I saw kids cleaning up their messes, shoveling sheetrock and sweeping up dust before they left at night because it was the right thing to do.

Even in the midst of living conditions to which most people would turn up their noses, our kids were always positive and encouraging, always trying to build up instead of belittling. They made me proud to be associated with them.

We went to the Thursday evening Front Porch Pickin’ at the US23 Music Highway Museum to listen and dance to some of the best Bluegrass music to be found. While there, I saw kids honor the dance requests of the elderly locals who come to this event every Thursday night to clog and two-step the night away and have fun, kids from the different volunteer groups ask each other to dance, and I saw the experienced college-student interns request the pleasure of a dance from the wallflowers in the group to ensure that nobody was left out. Even I danced!

Clogging at FPP2Grace and Andrew dancing at FPP2

Clogging and two-stepping at Front Porch Pickin’

I saw pure love in action when a young woman donated her personal spending money to purchase an electric table lamp and present it in person to the couple who had just had electricity installed in their house.

I saw “kids” from 14 to 74, most of whom were strangers when we arrived on Wednesday, engage in work and play like they were life-long family. By the time the week was over, “family” was the best way to describe us.

I saw humility that would make Jesus proud when we went around the room on Saturday morning reflecting on the highs and lows of the week. I witnessed strong men break down and cry and younger kids comfortably and perfectly articulate their emotions in front of a large group.

And, I heard our kids discussing and dreaming about returning next year and possibly being summer interns themselves.

By mid-day Saturday, when it was time to leave, nobody wanted to go. But, after tearful hugs and long goodbyes, we packed up and headed home. I know many lasting friendships were made during those four days, and each of us left transformed, fulfilled, and richer than when we arrived.

Goodbye 1

Final goodbyes

On the way home I reflected on how we almost cancelled the trip and how our group of nine almost missed these life changing experiences. I couldn’t help but think that in spite of Satan’s attempt to thwart our desire to do as Jesus would have us do, we won this game. Walking Hand In Hand with God, we shut out the Devil nine to nothing.

As I was writing this I was listening to the song, With Every Act Of Love, again. Between the second verse and the refrain there is a bridge that sums up the main take-away for me from this trip. It goes:

“God put a million, million doors in this world for His love to walk through / One of those doors is you.”

I hope this experience helped all of us see ourselves as beautifully painted and architecturally perfect portals through which the hand of God can bring heaven to earth.

(Note: Out of respect for Hand In Hand’s clients at whose homes we worked, I chose not to include any photographs of the worksites.)

1With Every Act Of Love, words and music by Jason Gray and Jason Ingram, © 2013 Centricity Music Publishing, Nothing Is Wasted Music (ASCAP) / Sony-ATV Timber Publishing, Open Hands Music (SESAC).

(The post, Opening the Door between Heaven and Earth, was first published in Reflections of a Lay Catholic)

A Man of Mercy

05 Thursday Dec 2013

Posted by Jerry Robinson in Uncategorized

≈ 3 Comments

Tags

Christmas, Forgiveness, Jason Gray, Saint Joseph

About this time last year I was listening to a new CD I had purchased by my new favorite singer/songwriter, Jason Gray.  The CD is called Christmas Stories: Repeat the Sounding Joy.  One particular song on it, “Forgiveness Is A Miracle (A Song For Joseph)”, caught my attention because it was so different from any other Christmas song I had ever heard.  Plus, its subject was something which I had never considered:  what was going through Joseph’s mind and heart prior to, and during, his wife giving birth to not his son, but Jesus, the Son of God?

I discovered that Jason Gray had written an article for The Rabbit Room describing the story behind the song and he explores this difficult situation in which Joseph found himself.  I have re-posted his article below and included a link to The Rabbit Room’s website.  I hope you find it as thought provoking as I did.

http://www.rabbitroom.com/2012/10/the-story-behind-forgiveness-is-a-miracle/

Joseph manger stained glass

The Story Behind “Forgiveness Is a Miracle”

by Jason Gray on October 16, 2012

As I approached writing songs for each of the characters in the Christmas story, I felt particularly protective of Joseph, who I think sometimes doesn’t get the attention he’s due. At the very least I know that I’ve been guilty of not really “seeing” him for the remarkable man that he was, and I wanted to amend that. I enlisted my friend Andy Gullahorn, one of the most masterful storytellers I know, to explore a particular moment in Joseph’s story with me.

Taking my cue from Frederick Buechner’s book, “Peculiar Treasures,” in which he breathes new life into biblical characters who have grown so familiar to us that we no longer experience them as real human beings, I hoped to recapture some of the humanity of the people in the Christmas narrative. It was also important to me to try and write songs that were relevant beyond the four weeks between Thanksgiving and Christmas day. I wanted to tell timeless human stories, and with Joseph we have the makings of just that with a love triangle, a question of revenge or forgiveness, and the age old drama of fathers and sons.

As I read his part in the narrative, I found that more than just a foster parent without much to do (as he was often relegated to in my mind), Joseph is revealed as a man after God’s own heart. Faced not only with the news that his fiancée is pregnant, but also with her incredulous story of how it was God’s doing, Joseph’s character is tested and laid out for all of us to see. What will he do? Will he hurt the one who has hurt him? Will he forgive? This is his moment, and all of history waits and watches in wonder.

There are few things more painful than the betrayal and rejection by the one you love most, so we know it must have deeply wounded him—shattering the dreams he may have had of a future with the girl he loved. Pain is like a lightning bolt striking with a violent energy that can’t be held in the human heart for long. It looks for a way out. The way it usually passes through us is in the all too common progression of hurt turning into anger and then into vengeance. Unless the miracle of forgiveness takes place in a person’s heart to absorb it, the pain we experience will pass through us and be visited upon others.

There is debate as to whether it was within Joseph’s power to have her stoned—while Jewish custom might have allowed it, Roman rule did not. However, if not to her body, we know he still could have done violence to her reputation and her heart. But I believe that Joseph did the hard work of bringing his pain to God rather than letting it pass through him, and that God graced him with the miracle of forgiveness. The narrative tells us he was a “godly man” and that instead of doing her harm, “he decided to dismiss her quietly” so that she wouldn’t be publicly shamed. He took the full force of the blow and–acting as the husband he might have been–became a covering over her supposed sin.

It’s hard for us to experience the tension in Joseph’s story since, as the reader, we know from the start that she isn’t guilty of what he naturally supposes and that God is up to something beautiful that the world has never seen before. But to see Joseph for who he is, I have to remember that he couldn’t know these things in real time. It was only after he had given himself to the work of forgiveness that the angel appeared to him in a dream to tell him that what Mary had said was true after all, and that he should marry her.

It occurred to me that perhaps this is where Joseph’s heart was proven—if not to God who already knew his heart, then perhaps to himself. (I haven’t met a man yet who isn’t daunted by the responsibility of being a father, let alone a father to the Son of God. Maybe this was a test to reveal to Joseph what kind of man he could be.) In this moment he is found to be a man of mercy, which I imagine to be just the kind of man that God was looking for to be the earthly father of his son Jesus. In a way, we see that Joseph carries in his heart the same world changing power of forgiveness that Mary carried in her womb.

It’s also meaningful to me to think of how Joseph forgiving Mary is part of the story that leads to the birth of the savior in whom Joseph would find forgiveness for his own sins. Perhaps it’s the narrative form of Jesus’ teaching that as we forgive we find ourselves forgiven.

As we wrote the song, it was good to be reminded that forgiveness is a kind of miracle. I could be wrong, but I’m not sure that we can muster up forgiveness on our own. It seems to me to be a supernatural force of renewal that we participate in as we point our hearts toward it, pray for it, and make room for it in our lives, but that ultimately we receive it as a gift from God, in his due time.

Forgiveness Is A Miracle (A Song For Joseph)
Jason Gray / Andy Gullahorn
from Christmas Stories: Repeat the Sounding Joy

Love can make a soul come alive
Love can draw a dream out of the darkness
And blow every door open wide
But love can leave you broken hearted

Did she dare to look you in the eye
Did her betrayal leave you raging?
Did you let her see you cry
When she said the child was not your baby?

Pain can turn to anger then to vengeance
It happens time and again
Even in the best of men
It takes a miracle to save us

When love is like an open wound
There’s no way to stop the bleeding
Did you lose sleep over what to do?
Between what’s just and what brings healing

Pain can be a road to find compassion
When we don’t understand, and bring a better end
It takes a miracle to show us

Forgiveness is a miracle
A miracle
And a miracle can change your world
Forgiveness is a miracle

An angel in a dream spoke into your darkest night
So you trusted in the Lord and you took her as your wife
But the forgiveness that you gave would be given back to you
Because you carried in your heart what she was holding in her womb

Love was in a crowded barn
There you were beside her kneeling
You held it in your arms
As the miracle started breathing

Forgiveness is the miracle
The miracle
And a miracle will change your world
Forgiveness is the miracle
Forgiveness is the miracle
The miracle
A miracle will save the world
Forgiveness is the miracle
Forgiveness is the miracle
Forgiveness is the miracle

Blessed Joseph
Your heart is proven
And through you the Kingdom has come
For God delights in a man of mercy
And has found an earthly father for his son

The Parable of the Lost Son – Part Two

02 Sunday Jun 2013

Posted by Jerry Robinson in Confession, Prayer, Reconciliation, Renewal

≈ 2 Comments

Tags

God-moments, Golden Boy, Jason Gray, Parable of the Prodigal Son, Prayer, Reconciliation, Self-mercy

My last posting was about showing mercy to yourself and it was labeled Part One because I felt what I had to say was too long for one post.  My plan was to simply wait a week and post the remainder of it as Part Two.  But, things changed.  In the last week I have had some very thought provoking and inspiring conversation with a close friend who helped me work through some issues and, as a result of his caring and insight, I felt it necessary to revise what I had previously written.  It’s a little longer than I would have liked but I hope it’s worth your time to read it.

It seems this parable of Jesus’ won’t leave me alone.  I think that’s probably a sign I need it.  The author of Advent’s Little Blue Book, which I referenced in Part One, decided to write in the Lenten season’s Little Black Book on March 11, 2013 more about this parable.  This time he took a different approach.  He wrote:

             “Jesus composed the parable of the prodigal son because of complaints from the Pharisees and scribes that Jesus was welcoming sinners and eating with them.  Jesus was too easy on sinners, they said.  He celebrated with them.  His forgiveness was instantaneous; his spirit was warmth and joy.  It was okay for the Pharisees and scribes to let sinners reform….but they wanted them to crawl back.  Let them learn a lesson.  Let them stew for a while.  It’s no time for celebration – this is serious, grim business.  So Jesus put together a story in which the elder son ends up telling the father that he was too easy on the younger son.”

            “To appreciate the impact of Jesus’ parable, I need to see that Jesus is arguing about me.  That’s me the Pharisees and scribes are talking about – a sinner who is constantly forgiven and loved by God.  Someone is complaining that I have sinned before, and that my repentance is far from perfect.  Jesus knows my motives aren’t always perfect.  That’s why he told the parable of the Prodigal Son.  It describes my relationship with God in real life terms.”

In Part One, I asked whether you have ever done something that has left you shaking your head because, in hindsight, you realized it was either morally or ethically wrong, something that was way out of character for you but you did it anyway even though you knew it was wrong, or something that you have been trying not to do but it just happens without you thinking about it and you don’t yet know how to keep yourself from doing it?  In Jason Gray’s song The Golden Boy and the Prodigal, the last verse of which I quoted in Part One, he alludes to this situation this time in the first verse of the song1:

             There are two sides to every person, like the two sides of a dime

            Heads or tails it depends upon who’s watching at the time.

            Though I hate to say it mine is no exception,

            One part is the Prodigal, the other part deception.

I love those first two lines.  That’s me.  For example, if you asked a family member, a friend or two, and a couple co-workers what type of person I am, I’m sure you would get several different opinions.  Another example would be that I can keep a promise to someone else but often fail to keep promises to myself.  Generally, I’d say the person most people see in me is the Golden Boy, or the deception, and the person I see when I look in the mirror is the Prodigal.  And that’s what bothers me. 

Let me give you an example.  I’ve been trying to lose a little weight.  Well, a lot of weight actually but a little is a starting point.  I’ve told the people at my main office in Ohio of my intentions, I guess you could say they are pseudo accountability partners for me, and when I eat lunch there I’m usually pretty good about what I eat.  But, when I’m away from that office I find it easy to slip-slide and pig out without anyone the wiser.  A couple weeks before my baptism into the Church I was at our office in Indiana and I gave a presentation to a group of employees.  It was a stressful presentation and it ran up to lunch time.  They ordered pizza in for lunch and I ate most of a large pizza on my own before I hit the road.  As I was on my way out of town I passed a Dairy Queen and had an immediate urge for a Blizzard.  The marquee said the special was mint brownie chip.  A small wasn’t good enough so I got a medium sized one, instead.  It was darn good, too.  Then, about ten miles down the road it hit me what I had just done!  It was like I was on auto pilot or something.  The stress from the meeting drove the cravings and they drove the overindulgence.  Not until I relaxed was I cognizant of what had just taken place.  I found a section of road with a wide shoulder, I pulled over and I commenced giving myself a mental beating that was sure to have made the devil proud.  I had been praying every day for help and strength to get past the temptations and I promised myself and God that I would do better.  Up until this point I had been doing pretty well.  But this day I fell, and fell hard. I sat there in my car, consumed with remorse, praying for forgiveness, and I promised again that I would do better.  I was making myself “crawl back” just like the Pharisees would have me do.  And, unlike I suggested in Part One, I obviously had forgotten everything I had learned about showing mercy to myself.

In my pre-Catholic life things would happen every now and then that I would call coincidence.  But, in my new life I find myself looking for those instances and, because of that, they seem to happen much more frequently and with such clarity that I no longer believe them to be coincidences.  I believe they happen on purpose and I call them God-moments:  those times when God shows Himself in some unexpected way.  What would happen next was just one of those moments.

I collected myself and I put the car in drive, waited for the traffic to clear and I pulled back on the road.  I turned the car stereo on.  Now, I hadn’t listened to the stereo since sometime the previous day and wasn’t even sure what was in the CD player.  But, the very first words to come out of the speakers were these2: 

            Too long have I lived in the shadows of shame

            Believing that there was no way I could change

            But the one who is making everything new

            Doesn’t see me the way that I do

            I am not who I was, I am being remade

            I am new

            I am chosen and holy and I’m dearly loved

            I am new

            Forgiven beloved, hidden in Christ

            Made in the image of the Giver of Life

            Righteous and holy, reborn and remade

            Accepted and worthy, this is my new name

“The one who is making everything new doesn’t see me the way that I do…”.  Now, if that isn’t God talking to me with the very words I needed to hear at the very moment when I needed Him the most, I don’t know what is.  God wasn’t making me crawl back and he didn’t give me more time than I needed to stew on it, either.  Just like Jesus said.  And I didn’t waste any time in finding a place to pull back over and bow my head in prayer to offer my thanks to God for his love.

So, fast forward to this week and I was telling my friend about the stress I’ve been under lately, how I’ve not been living up to the promises I had made to myself, how I’m kicking myself over it, and about the dry spell in God-moments I’d been having.  I told him I wasn’t sure what it would feel like to be in such good grace that I would feel an overpowering contentment from God’s love.  My friend told me, “God loves you man.  God loves the good and bad about you.  No one is perfect.  God knows that, we are not perfect.  We all fall short and all sin…over and over again.  But, God is there always to guide us.  Look to God to help you, to change you, to better you as a person.  God loves you as you are, no matter what.  He knows you better than anyone and knows your sins.  The instant you confess your sins they are forgiven.  From there, let it go.  Let God help you work on yourself to be a better you.”  It was like my friend had just read that passage in the Little Black Book from March 11, and was paraphrasing it back to me.

So, I took a moment to pray for God to help me feel His love.  And it was then that I remembered that instance in the car when those song lyrics played and reassured me of His love.  I had forgotten that moment, that feeling.  My friend’s caring and faithful counsel brought it back to me.  It also reminded me of the need to show mercy to myself.  Plus, I hadn’t had a good God-moment in weeks and here I was getting a load of them dumped on me all at once.  Again, just what I needed to get me out of my funk.  I thank God for His love and the love of good friends.

Good night and God bless.

1.  The Golden Boy and the Prodigal, Jason Gray, ©2009 Centricity Music Publishing/ASCAP, from the CD Everything Sad Is Coming Untrue.

2.  I Am New, Jason Gray & Joel Hanson, ©2009 Centricity Music Publishing/ASCAP, Where’s Rocky Music/BMI, from the CD Everything Sad Is Coming Untrue.

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