Tag Archives: Reconciliation

Reconciliation and a Rock

06 Thursday Oct 2022

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Yesterday I posted a reflection from my good friend, Bob Magness, and I promised to post a second one from him today.  One of the witness topics on the WELCOME retreat is Reconciliation.  Following the witness, Bob invited all team members to visit one of the two priests on hand for the Sacrament of Reconciliation.  Once again, Bob’s way with words brings me much joy.

Reconciliation and a Rock

by Bob Magness

The Welcome team formation process culminates with the weekend retreat.  Here, members of the Giving Team give witness to this process.  The miracles that occur every day to every-day ordinary men.  One of those witnesses is about the miraculous power of adding our sins to the burden that is Christ’s Cross. 

Reconciliation and a Rock

There’s an old metal bucket full of rocks.
Take one. Look at it closely.
Hold it in your hand. Rub it with your fingers.

How old is that rock?  How long did it take to form?
Are those broken edges smooth and worn or rough and jagged? 
Maybe a fossil- the mineralized remnants of the past.

What if you had to carry that rock around…day after day…weeks to months…and months to years? 
That weight in your pocket…maybe it’s light enough that you only notice it occasionally…maybe it’s heavier.
Those edges – smooth or do they still cut?

Our sins mineralize and become like that rock – fossils reminding us of that broken past.
Thankfully, we can stake those rocks to the Cross, 
Christ takes those rocks, the weight, the sharp edges,
Healing those wounds.

Reconciled.

There’s an old metal bucket full of rocks,
Each a little different, 
But the same story. 

Let go of your rock.

It can be a powerful weekend.  It takes a willingness to listen, to be present.    The weekend provides a chance to make sure you’re still oriented – to find the proverbial North Star.  Perhaps one of the most rewarding parts of the weekend is the realization that on this ship you’re not rowing alone.   In the words of Chesterton, “We are in the same boat, and we are all seasick”.   Everybody has a story.  Everybody.   

I pray that other Team members understand the impact they had on the men brave enough to attend the weekend.  I pray they understand the impact they had on me.  Brothers in Christ… Iron sharpens Iron.

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(Reconciliation and a Rock was first published on the blog Reflections of a Lay Catholic)

©2013-2022 Reflections of a Lay Catholic. Reposting and sharing of material in its full and original content is permitted, provided that full and clear credit is given to the author(s) and Reflections of a Lay Catholic.

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Confession, Gethsemane, and the Cross

09 Sunday Jan 2022

Posted by in Redemptive Suffering

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Today was a good day to go to the Sacrament of Reconciliation.  There was nothing on my agenda that needed my time, nor was there any voice in the back of my head giving me false justification for why I shouldn’t go.  It had been about a month since my last visit to the confessional, plenty of time to rack up a few venial sins for which I wasn’t very proud.

“Father, let’s start with the vice of Sloth.  Maybe it’s the weather, or maybe just coming down from the Holiday, but it’s been hard to get off my rear end and do anything worthwhile.  I have a long list of stuff, some of it pretty important, but procrastination has set in and it’s only the feel-good stuff that’s getting done.

“Let’s move on to Gluttony.  Maybe it’s a side-effect of the Sloth, but I’m overdoing it in the Comfort department.  Instead of two cookies, four or five is better.  An intended fifteen minute power nap turns into an hour.  You know what I mean?  I can’t say my lifestyle has earned much sanctification lately, Father.

“And last, and probably the most important, has been my Pride and my lack of faith.  Oh, my prayer life has been great, but my trust in Him has been lacking.  There’s a couple people whom I love very much who are hurting and struggling emotionally right now.  I’m a guy, I want to fix them, but I know there’s not much I can do to help but love them the best I can, and I know I should trust God to answer my prayers to bring them peace, but He’s not working fast enough for me.”

After a few words of consolation, affirmation, and my act of contrition, Father gave me my absolution and my penance to spend some time in church in prayer for those about whom I am concerned.  I thought, “If you say so, Father, but I’ve already been doing a lot of that at home.”

Finding a pew on Mary’s side, I looked up to the altar, above the altar, actually, and the first thing I saw was a stained glass window of Jesus praying in the Garden of Gethsemane.  It’s a beautiful window and every time I look at it I can’t help but think of the emotional anguish Jesus was experiencing at that moment.  He knew what was in store when He said, “Not my will, Father, but let Your will be done.”  Uniting His will with the Father’s, He put His trust in God that all would be well, and then got up and got on with the business at hand.

Jesus Praying in the Garden of Gethsemane (Not as beautiful as the one in our church but the best I could do)

My eyes dropped down a notch to that which was between the window and the altar – the Crucifix, that wooden cross upon which Jesus was nailed, and which culminated in the salvation of the world.  Looking up at Him, I knew He knew what I was going through.

It dawned on me that the Agony in the Garden was Jesus’ passive suffering and sacrifice.  It was what was handed to him as a loving human being.  But, His crucifixion was His active suffering and sacrifice, that which He chose to do for the sake of the world, including you and me.

Most protestants don’t believe in In Persona Christi, that Christ works mercifully through the priest to absolve sins and bring us closer to Him.  I thought how wrong they are because there seemed to be a heap of Grace, Mercy, and Divine Providence staring me right in the face.  Jesus was making it clear that my own emotional turmoil was my passive suffering, it goes with being alive and is a grace that comes from my ability to love.  I needed to offer it to Him with love and trust.

And, He was leaving no doubt that I needed to actively choose a sacrifice on behalf of the ones for whom my heart pours out.  God doesn’t ask for the impossible.  He asks for the possible but at the same time makes you stretch, makes you get over your inertia and get out of your comfort zones so that He can draw you closer to Him.  For me, that means pushing myself to grow in the virtues of Temperance and Diligence to offset my tendencies towards Gluttony and Sloth.  For the ones I love, that’s a sacrifice I can make.

In Persona Christi. Through the priest, the Holy Spirit could have given me the usual Our Father and three Hail Mary’s as a penance.  Today, he didn’t.  He just wanted me to sit before Him and pray, to open my heart to His Spirit and His Will, and let Him penetrate me with His Grace, and convince me that He’s got this. 

“Loving and gracious God, thank You for Your bountiful grace and mercy.  Thank You for putting in me a heart that is so full of love that it hurts.  Thank You for bolstering my faith each and every time I let my pride put more trust in me than I do in You.  Amen.”

(Confession, Gethsemane, and the Cross was first published on the blog Reflections of a Lay Catholic)

©2013-2022 Reflections of a Lay Catholic. Reposting and sharing of material in its full and original content is permitted, provided that full and clear credit is given to the author(s) and Reflections of a Lay Catholic.

Wanted: Saints in Heaven. Please Send Resume.

17 Tuesday Nov 2020

Posted by in Bible Reflections, Saints

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The Calling of Zacchaeus

This last spring I applied for a job which I thought would be interesting, would lead me closer to Christ, and was in-line with my passion for helping others grow closer to our Lord.  And, it offered full medical benefits at no cost to me!  However, there were two downsides to the opportunity:  first, that I would have to drive an hour each way to and from work (the cost of which would be offset by the savings on retiree medical insurance); and second, after being retired for three years I really didn’t want a full time job anyway.  

After waiting the obligatory two weeks, I received a response thanking me for my interest but advising that my engineering degree and 36 years of engineering related management experience made me exceedingly over-qualified for the position.  I felt neither rejected nor relieved at the response but, instead, looked at it as God saying that someone else needed the opportunity more than me.  I was happy to let His will be done.

I thought about this as I read today’s Scripture (Rv 3:1-6, 14-22; Ps 15:2-5; 1 Jn 4:10; and Lk 19:1-10 NAB).  I thought, “Every day I am adding one more experience, either good or bad, to my resume for the position of a Saint in heaven.  When the day comes and it gets reviewed, will I be qualified or under qualified? (Thankfully, there is no such thing as being over qualified although we humans may often think we are!).  How will my resume read?  Will it be an affirmation of the requirements mentioned in today’s scripture?:

“Has my faith been alive or dead (Rv 3:1)?  If it’s been alive, has it been on fire or has it been lukewarm at best (Rv 3:16)?

“Have I opened the door of my heart to the Holy Spirit and allowed Him to enter and form the interior life within me (Rv 3:20)?

“Do I hope for the victory and the right to sit next to Jesus on His throne (Rv 3:21)?

“Have I done what is right, and spoken the truth from the heart such that I can walk without blame (Ps 15:2)?

“Have I not harmed, defamed, or slandered a neighbor or friend (Ps 15:3)?

“Have I honored those who live a holy life, trying to live a holy life myself and steering away from the wickedness of the world in spite of the pressures to do otherwise (Ps 15:4)?

“Have I taken advantage of others financially and profited from it, or could I have been more generous in my charity (Ps 15:5)?

“Have I been grateful to God for His love and, out of love, sending me His Son for expiation of my sins (1 Jn 4:10)?

“Have I been grateful to God for all the love He has sent my way through my family and friends (1 Jn 4:11)?

“Have I lived in the present moment and been intentional about seeking Jesus through prayer (Lk 19:3-4)?

“Have I received Jesus with joy when He hears me, answers my prayers, and when I feel His presence (Lk 19:6)?

“Have I been grateful for all my possessions, especially all the graces the Lord has bestowed on me (Lk 19:8)?

“Have I confessed my sins when I know I’ve done wrong, and have I repented to do right (Lk 19:8)?”

Wow!  Those are some exacting job requirements!  And, I know it’s not all of them.  Maybe it’s a good thing I didn’t get that job after all because I think I need to spend my retirement creating some new and positive experiences and tweaking the final edition of my resume.  

The good news is that each of us already has an office in heaven with our name on the door just waiting for us to occupy it.  It is not beyond our reach to become qualified for the position.  The benefits will certainly make the drive worthwhile! 

How will your resume read?

“Loving Father, as the blind man in yesterday’s Gospel (Lk 18:35-43), I pray to be able to ‘see’ – that is to grow in faith so that I may love You more clearly and more dearly; for the grace to live by Your commandments; and to never lose Hope that I may one day sit with You on Your throne.  Amen.”

(Wanted:  Saints in Heaven.  Please Send Resume. was first published on the blog Reflections of a Lay Catholic)

©2013-2020 Reflections of a Lay Catholic. Reposting and sharing of material in its full and original content is permitted, provided that full and clear credit is given to the author(s) and Reflections of a Lay Catholic.

Reconciliation: A Grace-Filled Turning Back to God

04 Saturday Apr 2020

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Each day this week I’ve offered related posts about sin, Spiritual Atrophy that brings about heightened opportunities to sin during these stressful times of self-isolation, and ways to recognize the sins you’ve committed (or omitted): the “Checklist”, CPR, and Analytical methods of examining one’s conscience.

So, what is the next step? You’ve utilized one of these methods and identified particular actions or attitudes that have damaged your relationship with either God, other people, or both. You’ve analyzed the seriousness of your sins, determined if they are mortal or venial, and now you feel remorse, embarrassment, or, even worse, shame for having committed them. If you’ve made it this far and genuinely have a contrite heart, you’re good to go on to the next step. If you don’t feel a real sense of remorse, then you probably ought to go back to step one and start over again.

The next step for the repentant soul is to let God love you! This means accepting that God loves you even when you are wounded and stained. It means turning back to God and loving Him in return by telling Him that you’re sorry for choosing an inferior good over Him. And, it means asking for God’s mercy, His forgiveness, and to be cleansed of your sins. Asking is necessary, for as St. Augustine said, the Lord who created you without your permission, cannot save you without your permission. We take this step by going to the Sacrament of Reconciliation, confessing our sins, and receiving His mercy even though we don’t deserve it.

I have heard many and various reasons why people don’t want to go to confession: embarrassment, shame, fear of what God will think, fear of what the priest will think, etc. It’s important to remember that God is not scandalized by our sins – He already knows what they are! We may try to justify our sins in an attempt to lessen their severity, but God can’t be fooled. He wants humility and honesty and to see that our view matches up with His. God is like a father who is not scandalized when his teenaged new driver has his or her first fender bender.

Neither will the priest be scandalized. Every priest I’ve ever talked to about reconciliation has said they rejoice when a person confesses their sins. They see it as a win/win: a victory for the Lord that we have returned, and a victory for us that our sins have been erased. A common excuse many give for not going to confession is that the priest will be surprised with your sin. This time, you’re fooling yourself. There are very few sins he hasn’t heard. The devil is not that creative! Neither will the priest remember your sins. He hears so many there’s no way he can remember them all, and he doesn’t want to. Finally, the priest is bound by a sacred seal to never repeat anything that you mention in the confessional.

Another common excuse for not going to confession is that it’s easier to just talk to God and give Him your apology. The Protestants might think that works for them but it doesn’t work for us Catholics. Sorry. We go to confession because Jesus himself invented the Sacrament of Reconciliation, not the Apostles, not any one particular pope, not the Church in general, but Jesus. (Jn 20:19-23). Also, we are human, a combination of body and soul. We need to hear with our ears that we are forgiven and we hear Jesus forgive us through the priest just as we would have two thousand years ago if it was Jesus himself. (CCC 1441-1442)

Once you’ve moved past your fears and rationale for not going to confession and decided to show up at the confessional, it’s best to know how to make a good confession. First, one needs to be completely open and honest and be frank in saying their sins. There’s no need to explain or try to justify what you’ve done. If the priest thinks it’s necessary to know, he’ll ask. Perhaps even more importantly, one needs to truly repent and demonstrate a desire to not commit that sin again by reciting an act of contrition. Then, one needs to demonstrate a desire to change and be healed by carrying out the penance assigned by the priest, and give consideration to what will be done differently to avoid that sin in the future.

A good confession is rounded out by a prayer of thanksgiving and a feeling of love shared between God the Father and you, His beloved son or daughter. This reconciliation with God and the whole Church is truly a moving experience! God gives us His own life in the form of grace that restores and heals us. It gives us the strength to do good, resist evil, and begin again. And, it remits the eternal consequences of our sin (Hell).

Another way to show gratitude for the absolution of our sins is to encourage friends and family to visit this Spring of Living Water just as the Samaritan woman did when she invited the people of her town to meet Jesus. (Jn4:28) Is there any better act of charity than to help others who are stained with sin to be cleansed and reconciled to God?

I am late getting this posted so you will not be reading it until Saturday at least. Many parishes typically offer the Sacrament on Saturdays, and still do even with the pandemic, but follow the mandated social distancing guidelines. I pray that these posts this week will have encouraged you to examine your conscience; identify those particular areas where you’ve been less virtuous than you should; and, by better understanding the Sacrament, give you the fortitude to visit Jesus and receive the Living Water that He offers. Remember, He can’t fill your cup if it’s turned upside down.

I hope you have a truly faith-filled Holy Week in spite of not being able to participate in the celebration at your church. God bless you all!

(Reconciliation: A Grace-Filled Turning Back to God was first published on the blog Reflections of a Lay Catholic)

©2013-2020 Reflections of a Lay Catholic. Reposting and sharing of material in its full and original content is permitted, provided that full and clear credit is given to the author(s) and Reflections of a Lay Catholic.

How to Make a Thorough Examination of Conscience – Part 3: The Analytical Method

02 Thursday Apr 2020

Posted by in Examination of Conscience, Reconciliation

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This post presents the third of three methods for making a good and thorough examination of conscience. On Monday, I posted Spiritual Atrophy and the Need for an Examination of Conscience During Self-Isolation in which I emphasized the dangers of letting our spiritual lives decline during this difficult time of isolation; the associated risk of falling into sin more easily; and how a good examination of conscience can help turn us around.

On Tuesday, I posted How to Make a Thorough Examination of Conscience – Part 1: The “Checklist” Method. In it I discussed the types of sin, the general principles behind a good examination, and links to examples of questions to ask ourselves when making an examination.

And, yesterday I posted How to Make a Thorough Examination of Conscience – Part 2: The CPR Method. This method is less specific and more subjective than the “Checklist” method and begins by recalling the times God was present in your life during the day; looks at the events of the day and how you reacted to them; and finishes by making a resolution to improve.

Today, I am presenting the Analytical Method of examining one’s conscience. Like the CPR method, I am copying the following from Laudate, a very useful, comprehensive, and essential Catholic app. This method combines some of each of the previous two methods. It can be both objective with Yes/No questions, and subjective with open ended reflection.

The Analytical Method

A. Quiet your soul and enter into God’s presence, asking Him for light to know yourself and to know Him.

B. Review the major areas of God’s will in your life [e.g. roles and responsibilities], examining the level of your faithfulness to what God was asking of you. Trust that the Holy Spirit will draw your attention to what He wants you to reflect on. As you do this examination, keep asking yourself, “Why?”, so that you are sure to let God’s healing grace seep into the very roots of your selfish tendencies.You could arrange this examination by key relationships:

  1. You could arrange this examination by key relationships:
  • Relationship with God: prayer, obeying the Commandments;
  • Relationships with others (especially those closest to you): honesty, generosity, compassion, loyalty, purity, patience, etc.
  • Relationship with self: responsibility (work, school, home, money), laziness, healthy discipline, etc.

2. You could arrange this examination by the three “W’s”:

  • Way – How did I treat people? How did I go about my business? In a Christ-like way?
  • Words – Were my words worthy of Christ?
  • Works – Were my decisions and actions in harmony with my mission as a Christian?

C. Thank God for the good that, with His grace, you were able to accomplish; ask for (and accept!) His forgiveness for your shortcomings and sins.

D. Renew your commitment to follow him even more closely tomorrow (if you can identify a specific resolution to make your commitment even more concrete, all the better).

There are two aspects I like about this method. First, that it isn’t just a mental exercise for you. It involves entering into the presence of God through meditation and asking the Holy Spirit to show you your faults and failings, where they lie, and their root causes. Secondly, it focuses on relationships and roles: with God, others and yourself. And, like the CPR method, comparing your actions against God’s will for you enables you to make a better resolution to grow closer to Christ, which, again, is what it’s all about.

I will conclude this series tomorrow with some thoughts on what the next step is after a good and thorough examination of conscience, namely, attending the Sacrament of Reconciliation. Stay tuned!

Just as you are taking precautions to prevent exposure to the Coronavirus and subsequent ailment, I urge you to take necessary precautions and protect your spiritual health as well. God bless you all.

(How to Make a Thorough Examination of Conscience – Part 3: The Analytical Method was first published on the blog Reflections of a Lay Catholic)

©2013-2020 Reflections of a Lay Catholic. Reposting and sharing of material in its full and original content is permitted, provided that full and clear credit is given to the author(s) and Reflections of a Lay Catholic.

How to Make a Thorough Examination of Conscience – Part 2: The CPR Method

01 Wednesday Apr 2020

Posted by in Examination of Conscience, Reconciliation

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On Monday I posted Spiritual Atrophy and the Need for an Examination of Conscience During Self-Isolation in which I emphasized the dangers of letting our spiritual lives decline and go flat since we cannot make it to Holy Communion. Unless a special effort is made we will experience a gradual decline that likely will lead to venial or mortal sin. Since the Ten Commandments are all about relationships with God and each other, any sin can damage those relationships. The mechanism we use to recognize our sins is called an Examination of Conscience.

In yesterday’s post, How to Make a Thorough Examination of Conscience – Part 1: The “Checklist” Method, I discussed the two types of sin: mortal and venial, and non-sins which we call imperfections, as well as general principles behind a good examination. And, I provided links to examples of questions, or “checklists”, that, when asked of ourselves and viewed from God’s perspective, will help identify our sins.

Because I was in a rush to finish the post I forgot to mention a couple things. First, the questions asked in this method are normally “Yes” or “No” questions. They are very specific and intended to pinpoint those actions for which you may not be too proud. They will not only expose your sins of “commission” (the things you did but shouldn’t have done), but also your sins of “omission” (the things you should have done but failed to do).

The second point I forgot to mention is that there are “checklists” designed for one’s particular state in life. Besides the general lists of questions for anyone, there are sets for children, young adults, singles and married people. An excellent place to find these is on the Laudate app which you can get for your mobile phone. It is an essential tool for anyone interested in consistently practicing and growing in their faith. A very good list for married people can also be found at Beauty So Ancient: A Wonderful Examination of Conscience for Married Couples.

By utilizing one of these lists of questions on a regular basis, a person can nearly memorize those areas that tend to come to the surface. It’s important to not skim over the small stuff. The small stuff can become big stuff.

Today, I want to introduce a second method called the CPR Method of examining one’s conscience. I discovered this method from the Laudate app. Unlike the “checklist” method, this one doesn’t ask specific “Yes” or “No” questions. Rather, it asks you to look at your day subjectively rather than objectively. (The following is copied directly from Laudate):

C = Claim Your Blessings

Reflect on the good things that happened to you today, and explicitly recognize God’s hand in them. He has been loving you every minute of the day, thinking about you, drawing close to you. Thank Him for the little blessings and the big ones. See His gaze of love directed toward you. Ask Him to help guide these few minutes of prayer.

P = Pinpoint Victories and Losses

Taking a kind of “helicopter” view of the activities of the day, examine how you lived them. Where were you selfish in your decisions, attitudes, words, and actions? Where were you virtuous and generous? Also, examine how you responded to the Holy Spirit’s inspirations throughout the day. As you do this, ask for (and accept!) God’s forgiveness for the times you gave in to selfishness or temptation, and thank Him for the graces He gave you to do good and to be faithful to His will.

R = Renew Your Loving Commitment to Christ

Finish by renewing your faith in God and your desire to know Jesus more clearly, to love Jesus more dearly, and to follow Jesus more nearly every single day. If possible, make a specific resolution (proposal of amendment) regarding something you will have to do tomorrow – something you can do to show Christ your love in a concrete way. End with an Our Father, a Hail Mary, and the sign of the cross, or another favorite prayer.

This method is best practiced after one has spent some time using the previous method and getting used to their various faults. I particularly like this method because to begin requires placing yourself in the presence of God, recognizing His love for you, and returning your love back to Him. And, making a resolution in the third step is a sign to God that you really do want to make the effort to grow in virtue and closer to Him. As I mentioned yesterday, this is really what it’s all about – amending your ways and refraining from near occasions of sin in the future.

Tomorrow I will introduce you to the third method of examining your conscience: The Analytical Method.

God bless you all. Be safe and stay healthy. I pray you use some of your newly found free time growing close to God.

(How to Make a Thorough Examination of Conscience – Part 2: The CPR Method was first published on the blog Reflections of a Lay Catholic)

©2013-2020 Reflections of a Lay Catholic. Reposting and sharing of material in its full and original content is permitted, provided that full and clear credit is given to the author(s) and Reflections of a Lay Catholic.

How to Make a Thorough Examination of Conscience – Part 1: The “Checklist” Method

31 Tuesday Mar 2020

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In yesterday’s post Spiritual Atrophy and the Need for an Examination of Conscience During Self-Isolation I promised to provide various methods of making a thorough examination of conscience. The first of the three ways I will offer is what I call the “Checklist” method. This, I believe, is the most common form used and the best for anyone who does not regularly make an examination, and for those just beginning.

However, before we look at this method, let’s take a more general look at why we should do an examination of conscience, and what to look for.

An examination’s main purpose is to help us see which actions and/or attitudes we have exhibited that are sinful or less than desirable so that we can make amends. We need to know these so we can stop sinning in a particular way and make changes to get better at obeying God’s Commandments and trying to live lives of virtue.

In making our examination, we particularly want to look at the sin and its gravity, that is, it’s seriousness – is it a mortal sin, a venial sin, or simply an imperfection.

Mortal sins are those sins which deplete our souls of sanctifying grace. Three things are necessary for a sin to be mortal:

  • It has to be serious (grave);
  • One has to have knowledge or a firm belief that the act is seriously wrong prior to committing the act;
  • One must commit the act with full consent of one’s will.

All three of these things must be present for a sin to be considered mortal. Thus, if you did not know the act was of serious nature, or if you did not will it, e.g. you were forced to commit it or it was committed in a dream, then you are not guilty of committing a mortal sin.

All mortal sins committed since one’s last confession must be confessed, both the nature of the sin and how many times it was committed. It’s important to remember that one needs to confess all mortal sins prior to receiving communion as receiving communion while not in a state of grace is itself a mortal sin.

Venial sins are those committed which are not grave in nature or were not committed knowingly such as those committed out of habit. Venial sins are not required to be confessed in the Sacrament of Reconciliation however it is good practice to do so. By bringing these into the light of Christ’s forgiveness, we more easily grow in the virtue of humility. It helps us pay attention to our actions so that we may refrain from sinful habits and, thus, grow in holiness.

Imperfections may include dispositions of one’s soul that are not necessarily sinful but which one would like to amend. It is not necessary to bring these to confession but it is a good idea to be aware of them and the habits from which they originate. These are areas that could become sinful if left unchecked. They could be those little things that weigh on the conscience of someone who is earnestly trying to grow in holiness. Examples of imperfections may include: trying to be controlling instead of seeking God’s will; being content with spiritual mediocrity; failing to defend the Church; failing to spend time in prayer; or taking your spouse or a parent for granted.

As I mentioned above, the most common method of examining one’s conscience is what I dub the “Checklist” method. This entails reading a printed list of questions that are based on the Ten Commandments, the Precepts of the Church, and the Cardinal, Theological, and Capital Virtues; and then reflecting on your actions from God’s perspective, to uncover one’s sinful instances. Below, I am providing links to various websites that offer these checklists, all of which, except for the last one, are printable. Note that they are all a little different. Some may frame a question in such a way that it helps to determine if a sin is mortal or venial. Some may not make the distinction but leave it up to you to decide.

Of course, it doesn’t do much good to do an examination of conscience if you don’t intend to try and amend your ways and refrain from sinning again or avoiding future near occasions of sin. That’s what it’s all about.

Tomorrow I will present a second method of examining one’s conscience: the CPR method.

God bless you all!

Links:

(How to Make a Thorough Examination of Conscience – Part 1: The “Checklist” Method was first published on the blog Reflections of a Lay Catholic)

©2013-2020 Reflections of a Lay Catholic. Reposting and sharing of material in its full and original content is permitted, provided that full and clear credit is given to the author(s) and Reflections of a Lay Catholic.

Spiritual Atrophy and the Need for an Examination of Conscience During Self-Isolation

30 Monday Mar 2020

Posted by in Reconciliation

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I pray this finds you physically, emotionally, and spiritually healthy on this nth day of your isolation. Hang in there, this storm shall pass. Talking about storms – the thunderstorms that galloped through our area of southwest Ohio the night before last were replaced with beautiful sunshine and cloudless skies today. A sign, perhaps, to not lose hope.

Today’s Gospel is from Jn 8:1-11, the story of the adulterous woman. After Jesus challenged the accusing Pharisees to cast the first stone at the woman only if they themselves were without sin, they all departed without further condemnation. Likewise, Jesus, out of his great and merciful love told the woman, “Neither do I condemn you. Go, and from now on do not sin any more.”

In the verse before the Gospel, God speaks through His Prophet Ezekiel, “I swear I take no pleasure in the death of the wicked, but rather that they turn from their ways and live.” (Ez 33:11)

Our God is a God of second chances, and third chances, and fourth…. He loves us so much that as long as we earnestly try to turn from our evil ways, from our sinfulness, He will not condemn us. And, to allow us to receive His loving mercy and forgiveness, He has given us the Sacrament of Reconciliation. Although the communal penance services that are normally offered during Lent have, like Mass, fallen casualty to the social distancing precautions of the pandemic, confessions are still being heard on a normal and regular basis in most parishes.

I know many of you are using this time of isolation to grow spiritually in your relationship with God. You’re staying spiritually active by watching live-streamed masses, praying a Rosary daily, and living charitably by reaching out to help others in need. Perhaps you’re focused on fulfilling the obligations of your God-given vocation by getting things done around the house. Maybe you’re the husband who’s been telling your wife, “I’m going to do it, you don’t have to remind me every six months!”

I also know that for many, especially for those who have lost their jobs, or have taken on the responsibility of home schooling their children, life is difficult and frustrating. You may be in desperation mode and the last thing on your mind is your spiritual health.

But, I also suspect there are many who are using this time as a hiatus from their spiritual lives. Although it may not be intentional, their spiritual lives may have waned, or atrophied, simply because they cannot go to mass on Sundays as they have been accustomed. Atrophy is defined as “a gradual decline in effectiveness or vigor due to underuse or neglect”. It is a progressive decline that can happen so slowly we don’t even notice it.

The cure for atrophy is action – that is, to create a force to overcome the inertia of inactivity, sloth, and procrastination. Spiritually, God has given us that cure in the form of actual grace, the gift that helps us conform our lives to His will. It’s the same grace that urges us to go to the Sacrament of Reconciliation when we’re in a state of mortal sin and bankrupt of sanctifying grace.

I have been trying to stay spiritually alive during my isolation. But, after reading this morning’s Scripture I see where I’ve unconsciously neglected an important part of my daily prayer life: my nightly examination of conscience. My wife and I have taken this opportunity to do more things together and one of those things is putting together jigsaw puzzles, something we enjoy. We just finished our sixth, one thousand-piece puzzle in the last two weeks. We’ll start one after dinner and, since it takes us about six hours to complete one, we may not get to bed before one o’clock in the morning. By then I’m mentally wasted and too tired to remember to do my examen before turning in. Left unchecked, this can be a slippery slope.

God wants us to turn away from our sin and turn back to Him. The mechanism to begin that about face where we can know our sins, both mortal and venial, is through an examination of conscience. To paraphrase St. Augustine, it means to turn inward and see God as our witness in everything that we do. It means asking ourselves if we are following the Ten Commandments, the Precepts of the Church, and if we are imitating Christ by living lives of virtue. The answers will tell us what we need to work on and what we ought to take with us to the Sacrament of Reconciliation.

If you regularly make an examination of conscience, now is not the time to stop. Rather, it’s a good time to double down and concentrate on those personal faults and failings that impact our relationships since, for many, it is our relationships with family and God that are easily strained under the current circumstances of our isolation.

If you do not regularly make an examination of conscience, or if you do but want to be more thorough, I will, over the next few days, provide various methods of making a thorough examination of conscience. Check in tomorrow as I offer what I call the “Checklist” method. Until then, God bless you and stay healthy.

“Loving and merciful God, thank You for the grace to realize that I am a sinner and that I need to always bring into the light those areas where I fall. Thank You for the grace to make an examination of conscience and then, with a contrite heart, bring my sins to You in the Sacrament of Reconciliation. And, thank You for Your forgiveness, always giving me another chance to do Your will and follow the lead of Your Beloved Son, Jesus. Amen.”

(Spiritual Atrophy and the Need for an Examination of Conscience During Self-Isolation was first published on the blog Reflections of a Lay Catholic)

©2013-2020 Reflections of a Lay Catholic. Reposting and sharing of material in its full and original content is permitted, provided that full and clear credit is given to the author(s) and Reflections of a Lay Catholic.

Do You Not Yet Have Faith?

28 Sunday Jan 2018

Posted by in Bible Reflections, Blessed Sacrament, Confession, Eucharistic Adoration, Faith, Fear, Prayer, Reconciliation

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– St. Augustine

God continues to work in my life! And, after reading today’s Gospel, Mark 1:21-28, about Jesus casting out the unclean spirit from the man in the synagogue; and yesterday’s Gospel, Mark 4:35-41, about the Apostles’ lack of faith while in their boat during the storm, I feel compelled to tell you how He recently touched me and helped my faith grow deeper.

My wife and I had a wonderful but busy Christmas season. We traveled to Europe to visit our daughter who was studying abroad, and we toured parts of Belgium, France and Germany.

We returned home on the 31st and caught up on a few necessary items before driving to Kansas City on Friday the 5th for our grandson Jack’s third birthday. Then, on Monday, I went on to my second in-residence week of training (also in Kansas City) to become a spiritual mentor.

To say that I had been looking forward to this week would be an understatement. I was dying to get there and experience another week of God’s peace and the joy that radiates from the Sisters of the Apostles of the Interior Life (AVI).

Don’t get me wrong, I truly loved spending quality time with my wife and daughter over the holiday, but with all the traveling and site-seeing I let my daily routine of meditative prayer slide. And, I dearly missed it. I was so looking forward to getting back on track, to the spiritual formation and the times of silence and solitude in the coming week.

When I checked in I immediately felt a sense of belonging. The Sisters of the AVI and alumni mentors were there to meet me and the other students with whom I had become friends during our first session last May. We soon went to mass, had dinner, and had our first classroom session.

By bedtime I was ready to pack my bags, get in my truck and go home.

In a matter of a few hours everything about me transformed from being on fire to being consumed with doubt in my ability to ever succeed as a mentor, and a total sense of unworthiness to be there amid so many holy people. I hurt.

I laid in bed begging Jesus for direction on what I needed to do to shake the fear. I was confused and worried. I knew I needed to trust in Him but I just couldn’t make myself let go.

I awoke the next morning in worse condition than when I fell asleep. I prayed but still didn’t know what to do. I began my daily meditation by reading the scripture for the day. The Gospel for that morning, January 9th, was Mark 1:21-28 (the same passage as today). When I read about Jesus casting out the demon from the man, I was reminded of the spiritual warfare I had last year that made me fearful of posting on my blog. It was deja vu all over again!  I thought, “Okay, been there and done that”, so I changed my prayer from, “Jesus, help me figure this out!”, to, “Jesus, I trust in You!” I prayed for the grace to truly turn it over to Him.

But, no matter how hard I tried, I couldn’t do it. It wasn’t happening.

The order of the day began with morning prayer followed by meditation, an opportunity for reconciliation, an hour of Eucharistic Adoration, and a half day of silent retreat dubbed “the Desert”. Fr. Allessandro led the meditation in his soft, kind, Italian accented voice. Between his accent, my hearing aids and the acoustics in the chapel, I barely understood a word he said. But, somewhere in the middle of his talk I heard, “In the desert, you can’t hide from your fear.”

I knew God was talking to me and I was meant to hear those words even if I understood nothing else. I knew something was going to happen while “in the Desert”, but I didn’t know what.

Feeling ashamed of my failure to put all my faith in Jesus, I felt compelled to go to reconciliation as soon as the meditation was over. I confessed to Fr. Steve that my prayer life had been naught over the prior three weeks and I desperately wanted to get it back. I explained my feeling of unworthiness to be there and confessed that I simply couldn’t find a way to turn it over and totally trust in Jesus. Kindly, he told me there isn’t a day goes by during which he doesn’t feel unworthy to be a priest but he knows God called him to be one. And, he told me he knows God called me to be there and to be in the program. Christ, working through Fr. Steve’s hands, forgave me for my unbelief.

I left the confessional and said my one Our Father for my penance. I knelt on the tile floor before Jesus in the Blessed Sacrament and I started to say, “Jesus, I trust in You.” But, before I uttered the first syllable, I felt an overwhelming rush of consuming love wash over me. If I hadn’t already been on both knees, I would have collapsed to them. In that instant of giving my heart and fear to Him, I felt and heard Him say, “Don’t be afraid, I’ve got this! You’re my beloved.” I broke into tears.

From that moment, the rest of the week was perfect! I couldn’t have asked for more.

Later that day, I recalled the one other time I felt touched by Jesus in this same way (see Put Your Faith Where Your Prayer Is ). It was when I was praying for my four day old grandson Jack’s life as he lay in the NICU at Children’s Mercy Hospital in Kansas City. I had finally realized there was nothing I could do to help him when, in that moment of giving it up I began to say, “Jesus, I trust in You”, He hit me with the same overwhelming feeling of love and I heard Him tell me, “Don’t be afraid, Jack’s going to be okay.”

Thinking about Jack now as a healthy and normal little boy, I realized it was exactly three years to the day since that first event. Coincidence? I don’t think so. No, I think it was Jesus reminding me and asking me, “Do you not yet have faith?” (Mark 4:40)

I know I’ve shared many stories over the last five years about how God has worked in my life. But, folks, He is with us and is just waiting for us to open our minds to the truth, our hearts to His love, and our eyes to see the tangible signs of his presence in everything around us. I’m nobody special. You can find Him in your life, too.

God bless you!

“Lord Jesus, thank You for Your infinite love, Your forgiveness, and Your patience. Thank You for leading me to the Father. Holy Spirit, thank You for opening my heart and mind to the Word of God, and for opening my eyes to see His presence in the ordinary things of my life. Amen.”

(Do You Not Yet Have Faith? was first published on the blog Reflections of a Lay Catholic)

©2013-2018 Reflections of a Lay Catholic. Reposting and sharing of material in its full and original content is permitted, provided that full and clear credit is given to the author(s) and Reflections of a Lay Catholic.

A Confessional Curveball

18 Friday Mar 2016

Posted by in Confession, Reconciliation

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A confessional curveball

In yesterday’s post, Tomorrow May Not Come, I mentioned how, when examining my conscience before our parish communal penance service, I couldn’t think of any sins I had committed since my confession last Saturday. But, through a God-moment, I remembered there are two types of sins – Sins of Commission, things I’ve done wrong, and Sins of Omission, things I should have done but failed to do.

In the relatively short time I’ve been Catholic, I confess to you that I have never really understood the aspect of Sins of Omission until this last weekend when the two types were explained to me by a deacon. So, for the first time ever, I took time to examine my conscience in light of “what I had failed to do”. I didn’t come up with much but what I did find made the exercise worth doing.

I went to reconciliation last night and, to one of the four priests there, I confessed my sins of omission. And, I learned something interesting: most people focus on their wrong actions, their sins of commission, but very few take time to think about what they should have done but didn’t, their sins of omission. For when I told the priest the what and the why of the two things for which I was sorry, he said, “Whoa, wait a minute, it’s been years since anyone confessed to me what they have failed to do! Let me consider for a second what to do about this!” After a few moments he continued, “I’ll tell you what, it sounds like you know what you ought to do, so your penance is to go and do those things.” I think I heard a sigh of relief.

My guess is that most of you, when examining your own consciences, probably don’t think about your sins of omission. Maybe you ought to. Rise up and separate yourself from the crowd.  It feels good to recognize those areas where you need to do better. And, as always, it feels good to receive forgiveness for them. But, there is something else: there’s just a touch of satisfaction in pitching a change-up and have the priest take it looking.

So, folks, when you take time for an examination of your conscience, consider your sins of omission.  Broaden your repertoire.  Then, instead of your usual fastball, go throw your priest a Confessional Curveball. He may appreciate it as much as you will.

God bless.

(A Confessional Curveball was first published on the blog Reflections of a Lay Catholic)

©2016 Reflections of a Lay Catholic. Reposting and sharing of material in its full and original content is permitted, provided that full and clear credit is given to the author(s) and Reflections of a Lay Catholic.