A Taste of Spiritual Warfare

17 Sunday Dec 2017

Posted by Jerry Robinson in Fear, Prayer, Saints, Scripture, Spirituality

Tags

Bible Reflection, Do Not Be Afraid, Fear, God, Holiness, Jesus, John the Baptist, Prayer, Spiritual Warfare, Spirituality, St. Michael the Archangel, Testifying to the Light of Christ

Stained glass of John the Baptist testifying to Christ.

It’s been over three months since I’ve posted anything on Reflections of a Lay Catholic. In a strange way, I wish I could tell you that I’ve been experiencing a dry spell, or had writer’s block, or have just been too busy to post. But, I’d be lying. The truth is I’ve written a half dozen blog-worthy reflections during this last quarter. But, I didn’t post them because I was afraid.

I first began experiencing this fear in May. I didn’t know what it was nor why I was feeling afraid. I posted a few times this summer but each posting took more courage and strength than the one before it. Finally, after my last post in September, I was able to define my fear, and, once I did, I couldn’t make myself post again.

My fear was that when others read my posts, they think that my personal reflections of how I am inspired by seeing God work in my life are attempts to brag at my growth in holiness, that I’m exhibiting a “holier-than-thou” attitude, and that I’m writing for the purpose of having my ego stroked. It wasn’t a fear that had me shaking in my shoes but it was debilitating, nonetheless. I was stymied.

I spent a lot of time rereading my reflections and thinking about how the messages in them might be perceived by my readers. Even though I could find nothing to support why I was afraid, my fear remained strong.

I cautiously ventured to ask some trusted friends if they sensed a lack of humility in my reflections. They answered just the opposite, that my posts gave credit to God working through me. I knew they wouldn’t lie to me but I still doubted them.

I questioned why God chose me to share my faith through my writing. Why didn’t he choose Joe or Steve, or any of the other men who were with me that weekend when we were renewed in Christ? I found some comfort in 1 Corinthians 12:4-6:

“There are different kinds of spiritual gifts but the same Spirit; there are different forms of service but the same Lord; there are different workings but the same God who produces all of them in everyone.”

Although I believed God had chosen me to share my faith and proclaim His Word to show others how He works in my life so that they can learn to see Him working in their own, I wondered if I was abusing the gift He had given me.

I meditated on why I write and share with others and whether I was being honest with myself. I learned from this that I have two different purposes: I write for myself. But, I post for the potential benefit of others.

I write every day to get more in touch with my own spirituality and I’ve discovered it’s one of the ways I learn. I know if I don’t write it down, I will forget it before the winds of worldly busy-ness whisk it away. During my morning prayer and meditation, I reflect on the scripture and I write what I hear God saying to me. Then I write how that understanding might relate to my life that day. And, finally, I make a resolution to take what I learned and apply it in some way that will make me a better version of myself.

Occasionally, I think, I believe that my inspiration might be worth something to other people. Thus, I try to write my thoughts and insights in such a way that others might find them valuable in building a stronger relationship with Christ. Then, I post, hoping that others may find God’s grace in the little things of their own lives and that they will grow in their own holiness.

Since I retired in May, I have tried to grow in holiness by attending daily mass and by reading and meditating daily on scripture to listen to what God wants me to hear that day. My desire has been to grow holier than I was the day before, not holier than someone else. This regimen has brought immense peace into my life and a closeness to Christ.

In November, while I was meeting with a group of other men, including our Deacon, I opened up about my fear and I mentioned some of these things. After some conversation, our Deacon, who saw that it was no coincidence that my fear and my new prayer life both began in May, asked if I’d considered that perhaps Satan was messing with me since I’d been especially focused on strengthening my relationship with Jesus. I had to admit that thought had never crossed my mind.

I had heard of this phenomenon from many people but had never consciously experienced it myself. In reading the lives of the saints, I’d heard them mention this same thing. I realized I had just had my first taste of spiritual warfare.

After admitting I had not considered the devil sabotaging my spiritual life, I was even more ashamed that I had not done the one thing that would have simplified it all: pray for help and understanding about what was going on. I hadn’t turned to Christ for help; I’d tried to manage it all myself. Later that night, before bed, I did turn to Him in prayer.

The next morning I awoke and took my place in my comfortable chair to spend my time in silence, solitude and meditation. After my regular morning prayers, I went to my phone app to read the daily scripture passages and about the saint of the day. When I clicked on the latter, some quotes by well-known saints popped up:

“When the servant of God endeavors with all his strength to possess and preserve that joyousness of spirit which proceeds from purity of heart, and which is acquired by fervent prayer, the demons may try in vain to hurt him.” – St. Francis of Assisi

“We need to be especially alert to the evil subtlety of Satan. His one desire is to keep people from having a mind and heart disposed to their Lord and God….He wants to extinguish the light of the human heart.” – St. Francis of Assisi

“Proclaim the truth and do not be silent through fear.” – St. Catherine of Sienna

“Do not be afraid. Open wide the doors for Christ.” – Pope Saint John Paul II

I kid you not! God answered my prayers that morning.

Over the last three weeks I’ve been debating how to get started again posting my reflections. I knew if I didn’t begin again, the evil one would win this round. I wasn’t sure how to resume and, to be honest, I’ve been procrastinating. Until today.

At mass this morning, I heard the lector read from Isaiah 61, “He has sent me to bring glad tidings to the poor…”, and the purpose of my reflections came to mind.

In the Psalm, I repeated, “My soul rejoices in my God” and I gave thanks for the relationship we have.

In the second reading, 1 Thes 5:18, I heard, “In all circumstances give thanks, for this is the will of God for you in Christ Jesus”, and it occurred to me that I had not thanked God for this long and painful experience. I thanked Him.

In the Gospel, John 1:6-7, I heard our priest proclaim, “A man named John was sent from God. He came for testimony, to testify to the light, so that all might believe through him.” I couldn’t help but think that this was God telling me it’s time for me to get off high center. It’s time for me to resume testifying to the light of Christ. My daily resolution was to write and post this, to alert others to the devil’s designs, and to get it behind me so I can move forward.

After mass I sat down to complete my daily meditation before beginning to write. I read the day’s reflection by Fr. Francis Fernandez from In Conversation with God, Vol. 1, 114, “What is more, we should have no opportunities at all for growing in virtue if we had no obstacles to overcome.”

Ain’t that the truth!

“Thank You, Lord, for Your love. Thank You for Your gentle ways of teaching. Thank You for Your patience as I learn to love You more. Lord, help me to never stop pointing others to you and witnessing the truth of Your Word and grace. Amen.”

“St. Michael, the Archangel, defend us in battle. Be our protection against the wickedness and snares of the devil. May God rebuke him, we humbly pray; and do thou, O Prince of the Heavenly Host, by the power of God cast into hell Satan and all the evil spirits who prowl throughout the world seeking the ruin of souls. Amen.”

(A Taste of Spiritual Warfare was first published on the blog Reflections of a Lay Catholic)
©2013-2017 Reflections of a Lay Catholic. Reposting and sharing of material in its full and original content is permitted, provided that full and clear credit is given to the author(s) and Reflections of a Lay Catholic.

The Calling

27 Saturday Aug 2016

Posted by Jerry Robinson in Bible Reflections, Evangelization, Faith, Friendship, Renewal, Saints

≈ 4 Comments

Tags

Evangelization, Faith, Friendship, Gospel of John, HolySpirit, Renewal, St. Bartholomew, St. Philip

⁴⁵Philip found Nathanael and told him, “We have found the one about whom Moses wrote in the law, and also the prophets, Jesus, son of Joseph, from Nazareth.” ⁴⁶But Nathanael said to him, “Can anything good come from Nazareth?” Philip said to him, “Come and see.” ⁴⁷Jesus saw Nathanael coming toward him and said of him, “Here is a true Israelite. There is no duplicity in him.” ⁴⁸Nathanael said to him, “How do you know me?” Jesus answered and said to him, “Before Philip called you, I saw you under the fig tree.” ⁴⁹Nathanael answered him, “Rabbi, you are the Son of God; you are the King of Israel.” ⁵⁰Jesus answered and said to him, “Do you believe because I told you that I saw you under the fig tree? You will see greater things than this.” ⁵¹And he said to him, “Amen, amen, I say to you, you will see the sky opened and the angels of God ascending and descending on the Son of Man.” – Jn 1: 45-51 NAB

Wednesday’s Gospel from John made me recall exactly four years and four months earlier when I first met Jesus through the power of the Holy Spirit. My story of that first encounter, while separated and modernized by almost two thousand years, is similar to that of Nathanael (more commonly known as St. Bartholomew).

There was Nathanael minding his own business on the shore of the Sea of Galilee when his friend Philip walked up and said, “Hey, I want you to meet someone important from Nazareth.” Nathanael replied, “What? From Nazareth? I don’t think so!” But, since Philip was such a good friend, Nathanael, although doubtful, decided to go along.

Jesus used Philip as his intermediary. Jesus knew He was going to call Nathanael but He also knew Nathanael would be more likely to follow Him if he received encouragement in the form of testimony from his friend. It worked, and the rest is history.

I have no idea how many times Jesus might have called me and I wasn’t listening or I out and out rejected Him. But, I think He knew when the time was right and that I would need His disciples to lead me to Him.

Countless times I refused invitations from my friends Clay and Eric to attend men’s bible study sessions where holy men just like them shared their faith with each other. Over a period of months we, along with our wives, occasionally went out for dinner together and the conversations would inevitably turn to discussions of faith, and I would be uncomfortable. They were sowing the seeds. They were on a mission to make a friend, be a friend, and bring a friend to Christ.

Just like St. Philip, my two friends arranged the meeting. I accepted their invitation to attend a Christ Renews His Parish retreat weekend. Then, after they brought Him and me together in the same place, they stepped out of the way. That part of their job was over. The rest was up to Him. And He didn’t disappoint.

That weekend, I witnessed the Holy Spirit at work through the men facilitating the retreat. It didn’t take long before my notion about faith in Jesus changed from, “It can’t be”, to, “It might be.” Little by little, I heard The Calling. I gave an inch. He took a mile. I gave Him part of me but He wanted all of me. I was happy to oblige. Now, over four years later, I’m still giving and trying to find a way to give even more. And, what I receive in return is beyond anything I could have ever imagined! I certainly have seen “greater things”.

I owe this life to a couple close friends who weren’t afraid to live the Christ life by evangelizing and introducing me to their Lord Jesus.

It’s not easy being an apostle like St. Philip. It takes courage. It takes patience. It takes a lot of prayer. Some of us are better suited for that type of evangelization than others. But, we can all evangelize in one way or another. For me, these blog posts are one of my ways of evangelizing. What is your way? If you don’t know where to begin, you can start by following the advice of St. Francis of Assisi, “Preach the gospel, and if necessary, use words.”

“Lord Jesus, through the love of Your apostles I was led to You and You have shown me the way to eternal life. Help me, I pray, to bring Your love to others who, like I was, are seeking the fullness of life that only You have to offer. Amen.”

(The Calling was first published on the blog Reflections of a Lay Catholic)

©2016 Reflections of a Lay Catholic. Reposting and sharing of material in its full and original content is permitted, provided that full and clear credit is given to the author(s) and Reflections of a Lay Catholic.

From the Archives – Sts. Joachim and Anne: The Perfect Grandparents

08 Tuesday Dec 2015

Posted by Jerry Robinson in Faith, Grace, Mary, Saints, Uncategorized

≈ 1 Comment

Tags

Faith, Grace, HolySpirit, St. Anne, St. Joachim, the Immaculate Conception of Mary

Sts__Joachim_and_Anna_CNA_World_Catholic_News_7_6_11

Saints Joachim and Anne

Today, as we celebrate the Solemnity of the Immaculate Conception of the Blessed Virgin Mary, I remembered this post from a year ago. In it I pondered what it may have been like to conceive, nurture and raise our Blessed Mother from the perspective of her parents, Saints Joachim and Anne.

(Reprinted from 14 December 2014)

I know it’s been six days since the Feast of the Immaculate Conception but I’m going to write about it anyway. That’s because I learned a few things that day and I want to share them with you. I’m a little embarrassed to admit that I thought the Immaculate Conception of Mary was when Jesus was immaculately conceived in Mary. When I discovered I was wrong, I learned I wasn’t alone – many cradle Catholics don’t know that it does not commemorate the immaculate conception of Jesus in Mary, which is actually the Annunciation, but, instead, the immaculate conception of Mary herself.

After Mass last Monday evening, I had a chance to talk to our Deacon. I asked him, “If Mary needed to be immaculately conceived to be the mother of Jesus, then did Mary’s mother need to be immaculately conceived to bear Mary?” He explained the difference between the two. With Jesus, Mary was a virgin and God was the father (Luke 1:35 – And the angel said to her in reply, “The Holy Spirit will come upon you, and the power of the Most High will overshadow you. Therefore the child to be born will be called holy, the Son of God.”). But, Mary was conceived in the normal human fashion by the union of her parents, St. Joaquim (´Jō´·ə·kim) and St. Anne, but was made immaculate by God at the very moment of her conception.

On Tuesday, I happened to watch a video of the A Cappella group, Pentatonix, sing the Christmas song Mary Did You Know (written by Mark Lowry and Buddy Greene, 1991). The song lyrics ask questions such as, “Mary did you know that your baby boy is Lord of all creation? Mary did you know that your baby boy would one day rule the nations?”

Thinking about this, I took the question back one generation and wondered if Mary’s mother, Anne, had any idea when she gave birth to her beautiful and pure daughter that Mary would eventually give birth to the Son of God? Did Mary tell her mother and father about her encounter with the angel Gabriel and that she had given her fiat, “Behold, I am the handmaid of the Lord. May it be done to me according to your word.” (Luke 1:38)? Did Anne and Joaquim, along with Joseph, hide pregnant Mary in the village of Nazareth to protect her from their society’s custom of stoning? What influence did Anne and Joaquim have upon Jesus as he grew from an infant into a young man?

I kind of knew that Sts. Joaquim and Anne were the parents of Mary but I wanted to find out more about them. I discovered that their names are not mentioned in the Bible and there is actually no concrete, historical evidence telling us about them. What is believed was handed down as tradition with sufficient authority that the early Church accepted it as the truth.

One document that supports that tradition is the Gospel of James. While Church scholars accept that there may be parts of this infancy gospel (a story written to satisfy the desire of the early Christians to know more about the early life of Christ) which are true, they have established that it was written in the middle of the second century (c. AD 145) and, thus, was not inspired by God and is not completely reliable, or, as we say these days, “isn’t the gospel”.

Another document that supports the legend of Sts. Joaquim and Anne being the parents of Mary is the book The Mystical City of God, written by a Spanish nun, the Venerable Mother Mary Jesus of Agreda (1602-1665). Sister Mary Jesus of Agreda received spiritual revelations from Our Lady about Herself and Jesus and then recorded them in her book. While The Mystical City of God is not biblical, and has often been disputed, it did, in 1949, receive the Imprimatur of the Church, declaring that the work is free from error in matters of Catholic doctrine and morals.

Both documents support that Mary was made immaculate by God immediately upon her conception. Because Sts. Joaquim and Anne, after being married for twenty years and unable to bear children, had their prayers answered, they raised their daughter, Mary, as a consecrated temple virgin and she remained unstained and free of sin her entire life.

As for my questions, I can only speculate. But, there was a certain spiritual satisfaction in contemplating the answers.

I doubt Sts. Anne and Joaquim had any idea when they discovered they were going to be parents that they would one day be the grandparents of the Lord. But, because they had longed for years to have a child, I’m sure they loved Mary immensely and nurtured her such that her destiny of one day being the Mother of God would be fulfilled.

I’m sure their faith in God helped them believe their daughter as she related to them her encounter with the angel Gabriel. And, I’m sure they were in wonder, if not fear, when Mary told them she had assented to bear the child who would “rule over the house of Jacob forever” (Luke 1: 33)

I imagine that in the town of Nazareth, a village of probably no more than a hundred or so people, many of whom were most likely related, it could have been difficult to hide the fact that Mary was pregnant. I’d bet there were some tense days and sleepless nights as they discussed what to do.

I imagine that Mary loved, cared for, and nurtured Jesus by following the example set for her by her own parents.

And then, finally, I’m sure that the strength, courage, and will that Mary had to have to keep believing as she watched her son being crucified had to be a result of the strong faith instilled in her by her parents and further strengthened by the Holy Spirit.

I can only imagine what might have happened. But, there’s one thing I’m sure of: God had a plan from the beginning. In it, He cherry-picked all the players, beginning with Joaquim and Anne, blessed them and filled them with His grace, and then sat back and watched them carry it out perfectly.

Today, two thousand years later, are we honoring, through thankful prayer, the execution of His wonderful plan and its ultimate, divine creation, our Lord, Jesus Christ?

“Heavenly Father, thank You for the gift of Your Son, who, by the power of the Holy Spirit saved His own Mother from the stain of original sin and, thus, ensured she would join Him in Heaven, body and soul, at Your throne. I pray that, through my baptism and Your continuing grace, I may one day join Your family. Amen.”

(The post From the Archives – Saints Joachim and Anne: The Perfect Grandparents was first published on Reflections of a Lay Catholic.)

©2014, 2015 Reflections of a Lay Catholic. Reposting and sharing of material in its full and original content is permitted, provided that full and clear credit is given to the author(s) and Reflections of a Lay Catholic.

Saints Joachim and Anne: The Perfect Grandparents

14 Sunday Dec 2014

Posted by Jerry Robinson in Faith, Mary, Saints

≈ 6 Comments

Tags

Faith, HolySpirit, Mary, St. Anne, St. Joachim, the Immaculate Conception of Mary

Saints Joachim and Anne

I know it’s been six days since the Feast of the Immaculate Conception but I’m going to write about it anyway. That’s because I learned a few things that day and I want to share them with you. I’m a little embarrassed to admit that, after being Catholic for a year and a half, I still thought the Immaculate Conception of Mary was when Jesus was immaculately conceived in Mary. When I discovered I was wrong, I learned I wasn’t alone – many cradle Catholics don’t know that it does not commemorate the immaculate conception of Jesus in Mary, which is actually the Annunciation, but, instead, the immaculate conception of Mary herself.

After Mass last Monday evening, I had a chance to talk to our Deacon. I asked him, “If Mary needed to be immaculately conceived to be the mother of Jesus, then did Mary’s mother need to be immaculately conceived to bear Mary?” He explained the difference between the two. With Jesus, Mary was a virgin and God was the father (Luke 1:35 – And the angel said to her in reply, “The Holy Spirit will come upon you, and the power of the Most High will overshadow you. Therefore the child to be born will be called holy, the Son of God.”). But, Mary was conceived in the normal human fashion by the union of her parents, St. Joachim (´Jō´·ə·kim) and St. Anne, but was made immaculate by God at the very moment of her conception.

Thinking about this, I took the question back one generation and wondered if Mary’s parents, Anne and Joachim, had any idea when their beautiful and pure daughter, Mary, was born that she would eventually give birth to the Son of God? Did Mary tell them about her encounter with the angel Gabriel and that she had given her fiat, “Behold, I am the handmaid of the Lord. May it be done to me according to your word.” (Luke 1:38)? Did Anne and Joachim, along with Joseph, hide pregnant Mary in the village of Nazareth to protect her from their society’s custom of stoning? What influence did Anne and Joachim have upon Jesus as he grew from an infant into a young man?

I wanted to find out more about Joachim and Anne. I discovered that their names are not mentioned in the Bible and there is actually no concrete, historical evidence telling us about them, but what is believed was handed down as tradition with sufficient authority that the early Church accepted it as the truth.

Another document that supports the legend of Sts. Joachim and Anne being the parents of Mary is the book The Mystical City of God, written by a Spanish nun, the Venerable Mother Mary Jesus of Agreda (1602-1665). Sister Mary Jesus of Agreda received spiritual revelations from Our Lady about Herself and Jesus and then recorded them in her book. While The Mystical City of God is not biblical, and has often been disputed, it did, in 1949, receive the Imprimatur of the Church, declaring that the work is free from error in matters of Catholic doctrine and morals.

Both documents support that Mary was made immaculate by God immediately upon her conception. Because Sts. Joachim and Anne, after being married for twenty years and unable to bear children, had their prayers answered, they raised their daughter, Mary, as a consecrated temple virgin and she remained unstained and free of sin her entire life.

As for my questions, I can only speculate. But, there was a certain spiritual satisfaction in contemplating the answers.

I doubt Sts. Anne and Joachim had any idea when they discovered they were going to be parents that they would one day be the grandparents of the Lord. But, because they had longed for years to have a child, I’m sure they loved Mary immensely and nurtured her such that her destiny of one day being the Mother of God would be fulfilled.

I imagine that Mary loved, cared for, and nurtured Jesus by following the example set for her by her own parents.

I can only imagine what might have happened. But, there’s one thing I’m sure of: God had a plan from the beginning. In it, He cherry-picked all the players, beginning with Joachim and Anne, blessed them and filled them with His grace, and then sat back and watched them carry it out perfectly.

Today, two thousand years later, are we honoring, through thankful prayer, the execution of His wonderful plan and its ultimate, divine creation, our Lord, Jesus Christ?

©2014 Reflections of a Lay Catholic. Reposting and sharing of material in its full and original content is permitted, provided that full and clear credit is given to the author(s) and Reflections of a Lay Catholic.