Finding Grace through Eucharistic Adoration

07 Saturday Sep 2013

Posted by Jerry Robinson in Eucharistic Adoration, Prayer

Tags

Blessed Sacrament, Eucharist, Eucharistic Adoration, Jesus, Prayer

Back in July when I drove my car solo from Cincinnati, Ohio to my daughter’s wedding in Seattle, Washington, a drive of 2,640 miles over 40 hours of driving in four days, I posted thoughts, observances and inspirations on Reflections of a Lay Catholic each day. It had been years since I had made a drive like this on my own and, even though I would miss my wife and youngest daughter (who were flying to Seattle), I was looking forward to it immensely. Mainly I was looking forward to the quiet time, the absence of work and other responsibilities that tend to fill up my life. And, at some point it dawned on me that it would be a good opportunity for me, in my new found faith, to try to get closer to Jesus, to spend some one-on-one time with Him. After three days of driving and blogging about: attending Masses at the Cathedral Basilica in St. Louis, Missouri, St. Joseph’s Cathedral in Sioux Falls, South Dakota (including confession), and St. Therese the Little Flower church in Rapid City, South Dakota; the inspiring and friendly people I met at each church; praying the Rosary for the first time on my own, and seeing the beautiful countryside that is God’s creation, I felt I needed to explain why I was praying my way across America. So, in my post from day three, Bolo Ties, Rosaries and Rainbows, I explained that there were many people in my life who needed my prayers, one of which was my wife who would soon be having breast cancer surgery. And, I explained, that I tend to do my best praying, or at least it seems that way to me, while I am in church. I found, too, that the prolonged absences of distraction while I was behind the wheel allowed me to continue that praying throughout the day. A friend and follower, when reading that I was enjoying this alone time with Jesus, astutely claimed that it may very well have been that my whole trip unfolded in this way because He needed some alone time with me!

Don’t you love it when something simple gets turned around and you discover something even more beautiful than what you originally had?

In another recent post I mentioned how praying is something I’m still getting used to doing. I’m satisfied with the frequency but it’s the content that needs some work. I tend to ramble. I need to be more succinct so I can fit it all in when I only have a short amount of time. I have found, though, that my time in prayer is tremendously more satisfying, with less pressure on myself to “perform”, when I schedule to spend a full hour in Eucharistic Adoration once a week.

Before I go any farther, I realize there may be a few non-Catholics reading this and they may not have a good grasp of the significance of the Eucharist in our faith. So, let me say a few words about that. Catholics believe the bread and wine, the consecrated Hosts, are actually the Body, Blood, Soul, and Divinity of Christ. While many Christian denominations have a service that commemorates the Last Supper, with some distributing bread and wine (or grape juice) as a symbol, it is our belief that the Eucharist (the Blessed Body and Blood) is the real presence of Christ. The basis for this belief is found in Matthew 26:26-28:

“While they were eating, Jesus took bread, said the blessing, broke it, and giving it to his disciples said, ‘Take and eat; this is my body.’ Then he took a cup, gave thanks, and gave it to them, saying, ‘Drink from it, all of you, for this is my blood of the covenant, which will be shed on behalf of many for the forgiveness of sins.’”

So, what is Eucharistic Adoration you ask? Well, let’s say that while receiving the Eucharist during Communion at Mass is the best way to personally experience Christ within our parish community, Eucharistic Adoration gives us the opportunity to be with Him up close and personal, or one-on-one. We can experience this in two ways. The Consecrated Hosts reserved from the previous Mass are kept in the tabernacle, usually a small, ornate enclosure with a locking door resting on a table behind the altar. The easiest and most common form of Eucharistic Adoration is to stop by church at any time and genuflect (kneel) facing the tabernacle and acknowledge Christ’s presence.

A typical tabernacle

The second way, and in my opinion the most profound and satisfying way, is when the Blessed Sacrement is removed from the tabernacle and exposed for adoration in a monstrance, a sculpture with a glass enclosure that reveals the Host. Like the first example, adoration is accomplished by genuflecting in Christ’s presence and it is usually done for an hour. What is significant about an hour, you ask? Well, that comes from when Jesus, after agonizing in the Garden of Gethsemane, finds his disciples sleeping. Upon waking them He asks Peter, “So you could not keep watch with me for one hour?” – Matthew 26:40.

Poor Peter, he couldn’t seem to get anything right. Sometimes I feel like him. Do you?

Pope Francis I with a monstrance

The glory of Eucharistic Adoration is best described in the words of Blessed Pope John Paul II, “The Eucharist is a priceless treasure: by not only celebrating it (at Mass) but also by praying before it outside of Mass we are enabled to make contact with the very wellspring of grace…We must understand that in order ‘to do’, we must first learn ‘to be’, that is to say, in the sweet company of Jesus in adoration.”

I have had the opportunity on two occasions to spend an hour in adoration when the Blessed Sacrament was exposed. Both of those instances were during Christ Renews His Parish retreat weekends. But, this summer, I have spent several more hours on Saturday mornings in adoration, when the Eucharist was not exposed, as a time for sacrificial prayer in support of our church’s Adult Faith Formation group. One of the group’s responsibilities is to bring Perpetual Eucharistic Adoration back to the parish and in support of that effort we each take a day to fast and one hour a week to pray in adoration before the tabernacle. Our prayers are for help and encouragement to the parish community to discover the glory of adoration and for their participation. In order to have a successful program for a 24/7/365 Perpetual Eucharistic Adoration about 450 people are needed to participate.

Regardless of the reason I am in adoration, I always feel a sense of calmness, of comfort, and my thoughts come to me more clearly. I find when I am spilling my guts to, or just having a casual one-sided conversation with, Jesus, my words flow much easier than at any other time of prayer. Sometimes I am quiet and just soak up being in His presence. In author Kathleen Carroll’s words, “The best kind of friend is the one with whom you can spend time without having to say anything. You can just share the moment and enjoy each other’s company, knowing your relationship is deeper than the spoken word. That kind of silent communication is what takes place between you and Jesus when you participate in Eucharistic Adoration.”

The first couple times I spent an hour in adoration I knelt the whole time and actually spent the whole hour having a one-sided conversation with Jesus. That was hard to do, especially for an old man’s arthritic knees. And I would run out of things to say so I would repeat myself which made me feel a little stupid. After the second time, though, I observed other adorers spending about half their time kneeling and the other half sitting. I asked and learned that this was okay and that it was okay to not spend the entire hour in prayer. It is okay to spend time simply gazing at the Host, soaking up being in the presence of Jesus. It is okay to sit and consider the life of Christ and what He might say to you in light of your circumstances in life. It is okay to just sit and listen. Listen for that still small voice, that bit of clarity that will give you the direction for which you’ve been searching. It’s okay to bring your bible and read passages from it, or your prayer book from which you might recite some prayers special to the moment. And, I have found the more I spend that one hour a week in the presence of Jesus I tend to agree more and more with Mother Teresa’s sentiments, “The time you spend with Jesus in the Blessed Sacrament is the best time you will spend on earth. Each moment that you spend with Jesus will deepen your union with Him and make your soul everlastingly more glorious and beautiful in Heaven, and will help bring about everlasting peace on earth.”

Most adults I know are married, have a significant other, and/or have children. Imagine the sadness we would have if we couldn’t spend at least one hour a week with the ones we love more than any others on earth. Then, imagine the ridiculousness of accepting that it would be okay to not schedule at least one hour a week to devote to the one’s you love the most. Now convey those thoughts over to our relationship with Christ. Can we not spend one hour per week getting to know Him better and letting Him help us get to know ourselves better? By doing so, will we not be able to love our families and friends here on earth more fully?

Some of you reading this might be from someplace far away from my home parish in Ohio. If so, and your parish offers the opportunity for Perpetual Eucharistic Adoration, I hope you will find it in yourself to give it a try. If your parish doesn’t, try to find one nearby that does and give it a try. I believe you will be amazed at the deeper devotion to Jesus you will experience. Then bring it back to your own parish. For those of you reading this who are in my home parish, I ask that you consider joining us in our effort to establish Perpetual Adoration and become one of the 450 people needed to make it become a reality. We are hosting Fr. Sean Davidson of the Missionaries of the Most Holy Eucharist this weekend and he will be giving brief homilies about the beauty of Eucharistic Adoration at each Mass followed by a mission talk next Tuesday. Please join us. I believe you will find, as Fr. Davidson says, “The adoration of Jesus in the Eucharist also leads to greater reverence at Mass, a deeper desire for personal holiness, and a stronger sense of union with the parish and the whole Church.”

When we get this off the ground, my hour is going to be from 5:00 until 6:00 a.m. on Monday mornings. You’re welcome to come join me.

Good night and God Bless.

The Light of Hope in Christian Community

20 Tuesday Aug 2013

Posted by Jerry Robinson in Faith, Hope, Love, Prayer

≈ 4 Comments

Tags

Faith, Hope, Love, Prayer

Light of Hope

It’s been almost four weeks since my last post. Much has transpired since then and it’s been a roller coaster of emotions at times. In The Other Side of Prayer Requests, I left you hanging with the news that someone special to me had been diagnosed with a disease that would require surgery the next day, and that I had asked friends and family to pray for us. I probably should not have been quite so vague but I suppose I was holding on to that last shred of privacy. The rest of the story eventually came out when I replied to comments posted by friends. In case you missed that thread, that special someone was my wife, Melinda, who was diagnosed with breast cancer and had to have a lumpectomy on 24 July, our thirty-first wedding anniversary.

Ever since she was diagnosed on 31 May, I had been praying for her healing harder than I had ever prayed for anything in my short history of praying. Although the lump was small, we didn’t know if the cancer may have spread or if it was localized. My biggest fear was that cancer cells would be found in her lymph nodes, indicating a spread that would require chemotherapy. So, when I asked others, or they offered, to pray for her, I asked specifically for prayers that no cancer would be found in her lymph nodes. Personally, I prayed that when the final pathology report came back they would find no cancer at all and she would be pronounced “cancer-free”.

In spite of my praying, both Melinda and I had an uncanny feeling of optimism, that everything was going to be alright, that all the prayers being registered on her behalf from a legion of experienced prayer warriors were being heard. As I mentioned, we had “a confident assurance from an entire faith community who seemed to be saying they had inside information.” I also took comfort in a passage from a book of daily reflections by St. Augustine:

“Be assured that all your diseases will be healed. Have no fear. You may say that your diseases are powerful; but this physician is more powerful. There is no disease that the Almighty Physician cannot cure. Just allow yourself to be healed and do not reject His healing hands. He knows what He is doing.” – Commentary on Psalm 72

So, cutting to the chase, Melinda had her surgery on Wednesday and the early report was there was no cancer found in the lymph nodes, nor in the marginal tissue around the tumor. But, we had to wait until the following Monday before the official pathology report was completed. That was a long and anxious five days. On Monday we received the news that, indeed, no cancer was found in her lymph nodes, nor the marginal tissue around the tumor…. and none in the tumor itself! This was precisely what I had been praying for. Praise God!

My intention with this post is not for it to be a play by play of my wife’s surgery. Rather, it is a testament to the power of Christian Community. It is difficult for me to describe the way we felt about the tremendous support, caring and prayers we received during this ordeal. There is no doubt in my mind we would have been unable to sustain such strong confidence, such unwavering faith in the healing power of prayer had we gone it alone and not reached out to our community of friends and family, people who care for and love us, and asked them for their prayers. The outpouring of love and the demonstration of faith from everyone gave us something special – it gave us hope. And, I believe, it was this powerful combination of practicing the three theological virtues that brought about the miracle of a clean and cancer-free diagnosis for Melinda.

I had heard witnesses about Christian Community from men on the Christ Renews retreats on which I had been. But, especially for someone like me who is new to this life, you don’t know what you don’t know until your eyes are opened by a personal experience. I witnessed so many examples of love and caring I feel compelled and obligated to mention some of them:

To all those who prayed with an intensity honed by years of practice that I can only hope to achieve one day; to those who went the extra mile and sacrificed and fasted on Melinda’s behalf, who prayed Rosaries and Novenas specifically for the two of us, I give you my utmost gratitude.

We had a promising indication that all would be well when the surgeon surprised us and asked us to pray with him for healing and for God to guide him during the procedure.

I was overwhelmed with the caring and love expressed by so many asking how Melinda’s surgery went and how she was recovering. It was honest, look-you-straight-in-the-eye concern followed by sincere hugs borne of relief. Your love was truly felt by both of us.

To Melinda’s sister, Carol, who traveled from Texas to be here for both moral and physical support for Melinda, our daughter Grace, and me, many thanks, you were a God-send.

A special group of people took it upon themselves to unselfishly prepare dinners for us during the two weeks between Melinda’s surgery and the completion of her two-a-day radiation treatments. Thank you all for the plentiful and delicious meals, they were wonderful and so welcome! I still plan to hit you up for the recipes.

For someone who is both unfamiliar and uncomfortable with receiving so much love and assistance from others I have been totally humbled by the overwhelming support and encouragement to open up and share my emotions instead of keeping them bottled up inside me. Your prayers not only helped heal Melinda, they also healed me.

One thing that helped me open up and receive this kindness was understanding and acceptance of another bit of advice given by St. Augustine:

“For when we are harassed by poverty, saddened by bereavement, ill, or in pain, let good friends visit us. Let them be persons who not only can rejoice with those who rejoice but can weep with those who weep. Let them be persons who know how to give useful advice and how to win us to express our own feelings in conversation. – (Letter 130)

To close, please accept mine and Melinda’s gratitude for your gifts of prayer for her healing. And, specifically from me, please know my appreciation for your example of Christian Community by showing this neophyte how to shine the Light of Hope as suggested by our Lord, Jesus Christ:

“You are the salt of the earth. But what good is salt if it has lost its flavor? Can you make it salty again? It will be thrown out and trampled underfoot as worthless. You are the light of the world – like a city on a hilltop that cannot be hidden. No one lights a lamp and then puts it under a basket. Instead, a lamp is placed on a stand, where it gives light to everyone in the house. In the same way, let your good deeds shine out for all to see, so that everyone will praise your heavenly Father. – Matthew 5:13-16

God Bless you and thank you for being our Light of Hope.

The Other Side of Prayer Requests

23 Tuesday Jul 2013

Posted by Jerry Robinson in Love, Prayer

≈ 14 Comments

Tags

Community, Prayer

Back on 15 April my friend and co-contributor, Rich Brewers, posted How We Respond to Prayer Requests. His post came just two weeks after my official conversion and entry into the Church. I admit that, subsequent to reading his thoughts, praying for others was an action for which I only had about a year’s experience. I simply didn’t know how to pray prior to the singular event which led to my decision to become Catholic. Any prayers I might have intended to offer before this time really couldn’t be considered to be much more than best wishes.

That event was my first Christ Renews His Parish retreat weekend. During the weekend I had the opportunity to pray for others and be prayed over by others. Not really knowing how to do the former, I chose to do the latter. I had a compelling reason. I had just returned the night before from an Easter week visit with family in Missouri. My sister has a 14 year old daughter who is both mentally and physically handicapped. With every visit I would leave saddened knowing that their struggles in life are incomprehensible to me, and frustrated that I didn’t know what I could do about it. This had bothered me for a long time and, so, even though I barely knew these men, I asked them for their prayers for my niece, my sister, and for myself. One of the men praying for me was Jim, the gentleman Rich referred to in his post. I sat in the chair with his and other men’s hands on me and they prayed for the three of us. In my heart I felt something happen in that chapel. I wasn’t sure what it was but it was certainly nothing I had ever experienced before. I was shaken. I thought maybe it was simply the sincerity and love of these fine men. But, I came to realize it was the Holy Spirit working through them. It was such a powerful experience I decided to stick around and participate in the prayers for other men. I’m not sure I can describe the feeling other than to say I found a tremendous sense of fulfillment in doing so.

I believe one of the most difficult obstacles to asking others to pray for you is the fear of appearing weak or of lacking control. What other obstacles might prevent you from asking someone else for their prayers for you?

Since that experience I have had several opportunities to pray for other people both with and without their requests. I’m still not very good at it but I think I’m getting better. I try to pay attention and learn from role models, like Jim and Rich, who make it seem so easy. I’ve also learned that, like golf, to get better at praying you have to spend more time praying. Thus, I usually have two or three intentions on my list at all times and I pray for them daily. I find deep satisfaction in this. Although I may not always see any direct results which can be attributed to my prayers, I have faith they are being heard and the intended recipient will be affected in some positive way. And, somewhat selfishly, I find my time in prayer, even for others, allows me to get closer to Jesus.

But, there is another side to prayer requests – the side of requesting people to pray for you and your loved ones. It’s not as easy as you might think it would be. In many ways, it’s more difficult than responding to prayer requests from others. Such was my case. Up until about a month ago, I had been focused on praying for the needs of others. I never really considered that I would have another significant reason to request their prayers. But, then, one never expects the person whom you love the most to become ill with a disease that requires surgery and further treatment. We discovered what a scary proposition it really is. When we got the news, we, like many folks, thought we would keep it to ourselves. No need to burden others with our situation, right? We thought we might tell one or two people who ought to know. But, then, we decided that sooner or later those one or two people would feel the need to tell someone else and eventually everyone who you didn’t want to burden would eventually learn of it anyway, or be hurt that they were the only ones who had not heard. And, then, fortunately, we turned the table and looked at the situation from the outside in – what would we want if we were a friend or family member of the afflicted? We realized that we would certainly want to know about it for no other reason than we love the person and would wish to pray for them and ask for Jesus’ intercession and healing. We have a large family relatively speaking (pun intended), but our parish family of loved ones is much larger. After realizing we could use all the requests for divine assistance we could get, we decided to let the cat out of the bag.

Have you ever found yourself in a situation seemingly out of your control and hoping for a miracle? Have you kept it to yourself? Or have you sought prayers from others?

Spreading news like this via word of mouth, especially through people who you know love and care about you, is a wonderful thing! It doesn’t take long. By the time I got around to making the official request to be added to our parish’s prayer chain, most folks already knew and had been praying for a while. How do we know? We can feel it. It is the sense of peace that has come over us, the sense that everything is going to be alright, and the feeling that we are in Good Hands. It is in the comforting smiles and the reassuring hugs. It is a feeling borne from knowing that so many people have said rosaries, novenas, offered personal prayers, fasted and made other sacrifices on our behalf. It is the collective, confident assurance from an entire faith community who seem to be saying they have inside information.

If you have requested others to pray for you for personal reasons, how did you feel? Was your faith strengthened? Were you comforted?

Thus, here we are on the eve of the prescribed surgery and I believe we could not have a more positive outlook, feel more at peace with the outcome, or more accepting that this is just a bump in the highway of life. We know we have our immediate families and our extended parish family and friends who will all be pulling for us tomorrow. We have faith in God and the healing power of prayer. Please know that your love and heart-felt prayers are indeed felt and appreciated. We love you.

God Bless you all.

Miracles and Memories

09 Tuesday Jul 2013

Posted by Jerry Robinson in Churches, Prayer

≈ 10 Comments

Tags

Miracles, Rosary

Day four of my solo trip from Cincinnati, Ohio to Seattle, Washington

What day of the week is it? I think today is Tuesday because I was supposed to arrive in Seattle on Monday. I did arrive, by the way. I suppose losing track of time could be the mark of a good vacation, one in which you lose the stress of your normal life and just enjoy the road trip, oblivious to time.

Have you ever had the opportunity to get lost from the rest of the world and lose track of time? Not just hours, but days or weeks?

Day four (Monday) began by being awakened at 5:00 a.m. by a strange and distinctive sounding bird. By the time I donned some clothes, crawled out of my tent and greeted the day, the make-shift rooster was gone and I didn’t hear it again. The sky was already bright blue and cloudless. It was the beginning of another beautiful day. I camped at the Headwaters of the Missouri State Park. This is the confluence point where the Madison, Jefferson and Gallatin Rivers become the Missouri River, the longest river in the U.S. It is where, in 1805, Lewis and Clark and their Corp of Discovery had to stow their boats and take to hiking on their westward journey to the Pacific Ocean. It must have been disheartening to look westward and see the imposing site of the Bitterroot Mountains ahead of you. After breaking down camp I walked down a trail to the river. At this point the Madison and Jefferson came together, slow and meandering. They would join the Gallatin a few hundred yards downstream. As I looked out across the water I had a vision of Meriwether Lewis looking at William Clark and asking, “Well, friend, what do you suggest we do now?” I also had a vision of a sixteen inch Brown trout rising and taking my #18 Elk Hair Caddis fly.

Madison and Jefferson Rivers, MT

My camp was about an hour east of Butte, Montana. I was able to make it to Butte with fifteen minutes to spare before morning mass at St. Ann’s Parish Church. St. Ann’s was a more modern church, at least it was probably very modern in the 1970’s when, according to my limited knowledge of architecture, it appeared to have been built. The church building itself was cylindrical with tall white columns around the perimeter. The interior was the familiar semi-circle with concentric pews radial to the altar. The wall behind the altar was sculpted to appear like the Dove of Peace, the symbol of the Holy Spirit, and the outer walls exhibited very modern brass sculptures of the Stations of the Cross.

St. Ann’s Parish Church, Butte, Montana

Arriving fifteen minutes early allowed me to catch the last couple decades of a Rosary service. The cantor was an old woman, (emphasis on ‘old’), but with a loud, clear voice. You could tell this wasn’t her first Rosary. After the first couple Hail Marys I couldn’t help but grin from ear to ear. This was a special moment. She had a practiced rhythm that modulated like a sine wave. As she said, “and blessed is the fruit of thy womb Jesus”, she spoke slower and slower and, keeping the same loudness, dropped about two octaves in tone. It was beautiful and it made my day, bless her heart. I think I will remember her for evermore as I pray the Rosary.

In my haste to get Sunday’s blog posted yesterday, I forgot to tell you about The Miracle! So, I told you about stopping and taking the picture of the perfect and brilliant double rainbow with a backdrop of the black cloud that produced it. And, I told you the previous day about how my cruise control on my car went out and caused all the other dashboard warning lights to go spastic. After taking the photo of the rainbow I got back in my car, started it up and headed down the road. When I looked down to see that I was up to the speed I wanted to be I noticed that none of the warning lights were flashing on the dash. I turned the cruise control on and it worked! I haven’t had a problem with it since. I have no explanation for it. I had stopped and restarted the car umpteen times up to this point and nothing changed. But, after stopping to check out that rainbow of rainbows, it started working. Coincidence? I don’t think so!

After heading west out of Butte, the next large town was Missoula and it was time for a bio break and some lunch at a Wendy’s. While there I got a phone call from my parents. My mom and dad are also traveling to Seattle but taking about two weeks to get there, camping along the way. I had not talked to them for a few days. I learned they were only a few miles west of Missoula at a campground not two hundred yards from the interstate on the banks of the Clarks Fork River. I hadn’t seen my folks since Easter so, when I pulled off the interstate into their campground, we had a nice but short thirty minute visit before I needed to get back on the road. I would be seeing them again on Saturday.

The rest of the trip was uneventful but beautiful and inspiring. The Bitterroot Mountains were sharp and majestic. I ran into a severe storm with marble sized hail in Coeur d’Alene, Idaho. I marveled at the barrenness of the Columbia River Plateau west of Spokane and the enormity and depth of the Columbia River Gorge in central Washington. The lushness and unique ruggedness of the Cascade Mountains makes your jaw drop, and the view of the Seattle skyline, the Sound and islands in the distance, and the flowers – lavender, roses and dahlias, to name a few – are everywhere to be seen and enjoyed . This morning I realized that I never turned the radio on or listened to a music CD or a book on tape the whole day yesterday. That would have been a distraction.

When was the last time you really paid attention to the beauty that lies outside your windshield? Has it become so routine that you don’t notice the landscape anymore?

I arrived at my daughter’s at 7:57 p.m. local time, three minutes ahead of the eight o’clock arrival I had planned in my head before I left home Friday morning, another 660 miles for the day and 2,640 miles for the trip.

Visiting a new church every day and praying my way across America has been a unique, memorable, fun and spiritual experience. It’s heartening to see there are many good and faithful Catholics out there in the world. I feel more at peace than I have in weeks and I have a comfortable confidence that my prayers have been heard.

I want to challenge you to get out of your comfort zone and visit a new church, just for fun and for the experience. You don’t have to go far, maybe just the next community over. Or, purposely go to mass at your own church at a different time than normal so you can meet new people. See how other people worship. And, spread the Word.

Control of my own time is over. From now until my daughter’s wedding this weekend I will be a gopher, expected to jump at anyone’s beck and call. That’s okay, it was good while it lasted and gophering is what the father of the bride and husband of the bride’s mother is supposed to do prior to a wedding.

It may be a while until my next post. Until then, God Bless you all.

The Parable of the Lost Son – Part Two

02 Sunday Jun 2013

Posted by Jerry Robinson in Confession, Prayer, Reconciliation, Renewal

≈ 2 Comments

Tags

God-moments, Golden Boy, Jason Gray, Parable of the Prodigal Son, Prayer, Reconciliation, Self-mercy

My last posting was about showing mercy to yourself and it was labeled Part One because I felt what I had to say was too long for one post. My plan was to simply wait a week and post the remainder of it as Part Two. But, things changed. In the last week I have had some very thought provoking and inspiring conversation with a close friend who helped me work through some issues and, as a result of his caring and insight, I felt it necessary to revise what I had previously written. It’s a little longer than I would have liked but I hope it’s worth your time to read it.

It seems this parable of Jesus’ won’t leave me alone. I think that’s probably a sign I need it. The author of Advent’s Little Blue Book, which I referenced in Part One, decided to write in the Lenten season’s Little Black Book on March 11, 2013 more about this parable. This time he took a different approach. He wrote:

“Jesus composed the parable of the prodigal son because of complaints from the Pharisees and scribes that Jesus was welcoming sinners and eating with them. Jesus was too easy on sinners, they said. He celebrated with them. His forgiveness was instantaneous; his spirit was warmth and joy. It was okay for the Pharisees and scribes to let sinners reform….but they wanted them to crawl back. Let them learn a lesson. Let them stew for a while. It’s no time for celebration – this is serious, grim business. So Jesus put together a story in which the elder son ends up telling the father that he was too easy on the younger son.”

“To appreciate the impact of Jesus’ parable, I need to see that Jesus is arguing about me. That’s me the Pharisees and scribes are talking about – a sinner who is constantly forgiven and loved by God. Someone is complaining that I have sinned before, and that my repentance is far from perfect. Jesus knows my motives aren’t always perfect. That’s why he told the parable of the Prodigal Son. It describes my relationship with God in real life terms.”

In Part One, I asked whether you have ever done something that has left you shaking your head because, in hindsight, you realized it was either morally or ethically wrong, something that was way out of character for you but you did it anyway even though you knew it was wrong, or something that you have been trying not to do but it just happens without you thinking about it and you don’t yet know how to keep yourself from doing it? In Jason Gray’s song The Golden Boy and the Prodigal, the last verse of which I quoted in Part One, he alludes to this situation this time in the first verse of the song¹:

There are two sides to every person, like the two sides of a dime

Heads or tails it depends upon who’s watching at the time.

Though I hate to say it mine is no exception,

One part is the Prodigal, the other part deception.

I love those first two lines. That’s me. For example, if you asked a family member, a friend or two, and a couple co-workers what type of person I am, I’m sure you would get several different opinions. Another example would be that I can keep a promise to someone else but often fail to keep promises to myself. Generally, I’d say the person most people see in me is the Golden Boy, or the deception, and the person I see when I look in the mirror is the Prodigal. And that’s what bothers me.

Let me give you an example. I’ve been trying to lose a little weight. Well, a lot of weight actually but a little is a starting point. I’ve told the people at my main office in Ohio of my intentions, I guess you could say they are pseudo accountability partners for me, and when I eat lunch there I’m usually pretty good about what I eat. But, when I’m away from that office I find it easy to slip-slide and pig out without anyone the wiser. A couple weeks before my baptism into the Church I was at our office in Indiana and I gave a presentation to a group of employees. It was a stressful presentation and it ran up to lunch time. They ordered pizza in for lunch and I ate most of a large pizza on my own before I hit the road. As I was on my way out of town I passed a Dairy Queen and had an immediate urge for a Blizzard. The marquee said the special was mint brownie chip. A small wasn’t good enough so I got a medium sized one, instead. It was darn good, too. Then, about ten miles down the road it hit me what I had just done! It was like I was on auto pilot or something. The stress from the meeting drove the cravings and they drove the overindulgence. Not until I relaxed was I cognizant of what had just taken place. I found a section of road with a wide shoulder, I pulled over and I commenced giving myself a mental beating that was sure to have made the devil proud. I had been praying every day for help and strength to get past the temptations and I promised myself and God that I would do better. Up until this point I had been doing pretty well. But this day I fell, and fell hard. I sat there in my car, consumed with remorse, praying for forgiveness, and I promised again that I would do better. I was making myself “crawl back” just like the Pharisees would have me do. And, unlike I suggested in Part One, I obviously had forgotten everything I had learned about showing mercy to myself.

In my pre-Catholic life things would happen every now and then that I would call coincidence. But, in my new life I find myself looking for those instances and, because of that, they seem to happen much more frequently and with such clarity that I no longer believe them to be coincidences. I believe they happen on purpose and I call them God-moments: those times when God shows Himself in some unexpected way. What would happen next was just one of those moments.

I collected myself and I put the car in drive, waited for the traffic to clear and I pulled back on the road. I turned the car stereo on. Now, I hadn’t listened to the stereo since sometime the previous day and wasn’t even sure what was in the CD player. But, the very first words to come out of the speakers were these²:

Too long have I lived in the shadows of shame

Believing that there was no way I could change

But the one who is making everything new

Doesn’t see me the way that I do

I am not who I was, I am being remade

I am new

I am chosen and holy and I’m dearly loved

I am new

Forgiven beloved, hidden in Christ

Made in the image of the Giver of Life

Righteous and holy, reborn and remade

Accepted and worthy, this is my new name

“The one who is making everything new doesn’t see me the way that I do…”. Now, if that isn’t God talking to me with the very words I needed to hear at the very moment when I needed Him the most, I don’t know what is. God wasn’t making me crawl back and he didn’t give me more time than I needed to stew on it, either. Just like Jesus said. And I didn’t waste any time in finding a place to pull back over and bow my head in prayer to offer my thanks to God for his love.

So, fast forward to this week and I was telling my friend about the stress I’ve been under lately, how I’ve not been living up to the promises I had made to myself, how I’m kicking myself over it, and about the dry spell in God-moments I’d been having. I told him I wasn’t sure what it would feel like to be in such good grace that I would feel an overpowering contentment from God’s love. My friend told me, “God loves you man. God loves the good and bad about you. No one is perfect. God knows that, we are not perfect. We all fall short and all sin…over and over again. But, God is there always to guide us. Look to God to help you, to change you, to better you as a person. God loves you as you are, no matter what. He knows you better than anyone and knows your sins. The instant you confess your sins they are forgiven. From there, let it go. Let God help you work on yourself to be a better you.” It was like my friend had just read that passage in the Little Black Book from March 11, and was paraphrasing it back to me.

So, I took a moment to pray for God to help me feel His love. And it was then that I remembered that instance in the car when those song lyrics played and reassured me of His love. I had forgotten that moment, that feeling. My friend’s caring and faithful counsel brought it back to me. It also reminded me of the need to show mercy to myself. Plus, I hadn’t had a good God-moment in weeks and here I was getting a load of them dumped on me all at once. Again, just what I needed to get me out of my funk. I thank God for His love and the love of good friends.

Good night and God bless.

The Parable of the Lost Son – Part One

25 Saturday May 2013

Posted by Jerry Robinson in Bible Reflections, Prayer, Scripture

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Parable of the Prodigal Son, Self-forgiveness, Self-mercy

Well, it’s been awhile since my last post, one month ago today actually. Business has picked up as well as being busy trying to stay caught up with Mother Nature. Spring is my least favorite season mainly because it’s like a sneaky old cat that’s lurking out there waiting to pounce on you. You know it’s going to happen but you’re not quite sure when, and when she does, you’re never quite ready for it. I have a large yard with many trees and flower beds and trying to squeeze in a little gardening when I get home from work between the rains in the evening is a real crap shoot sometimes. I’m struggling to keep up!

I’ve found that while my mind and actions are bent towards taking advantage of every break in the weather to take care of things around the house and at work, I’ve let my spiritual life get the short end of the stick. I haven’t prayed quite as much as I ought to, I’ve been less optimistic than usual, I’m not quite as “at peace” with everything, and I seem to notice the negative things that happen instead of the good God moments which I know are there but I’m too wrapped up in other stuff to notice them for what they are. I’ve also noticed when I get this way I have a tendency to do things sometimes which aren’t quite up to my moral or ethical standards, things that leave me shaking my head after I’ve done them because they are out of character for me, and things that I’ve been trying not to do but they just happen and I don’t yet know how to keep myself from doing them. It drives me crazy. I like to think of myself as a good boy who does the right things. Does this ever happen to you? I was ruing about this to a friend the other day and he said, “Don’t beat yourself up about it, you’re not perfect, you’re a Christian.”

I didn’t pay much attention to these kinds of frustrations before I became Catholic. They happened and I didn’t think much of them. It was part of life. But, I now recognize them as being counter to the way God would prefer me to lead my life. And, I feel a little guilty about it. Not long ago a good friend of mine in Louisiana, who also converted to Catholicism, asked whether or not I had started feeling guilty yet. I had to ask what she meant. With tongue-in-cheek humor she explained that since I now have a more intimate understanding of right and wrong principles and behavior, and since I am more in-tune with myself as a sinner and not quite as perfect as I thought I was, I should begin feeling guilty about my behavior – not because it has become worse than it was but because my reality around that behavior has changed. I’ve thought a lot about what she said and I think she’s almost right. I think the word “guilty” needs to be changed to something like “enlightened awareness”. “Guilty” has a negative connotation to it whereas “enlightened awareness” is a touch rosier and optimistic. Like most people, I respond more favorably to positive stimuli than I do to the negative brand. And if, as Christians, we constantly want to move closer to Christ by trying to become better people, then we can use all the positive affirmation we can get. But, regardless if it’s guilt or enlightened awareness, I nevertheless kick myself when I fail to live up to my expectations.

I was pondering this the other evening while I was watching my grass grow after an afternoon rain and I became acutely aware of my recent sins and out of character transgressions in their various states of ugliness. I realized that the more I get into my faith the more of them I see. Not big things, thank goodness, but lots of little things. I’m sure they have always been there, and, if the truth be told, probably a lot worse than they are now. Sometimes they pop up one at a time but occasionally they seem to come in droves. I am starting to get used to it but for a while there I was in panic mode. I can see how, if not looked at in the right light, I could easily feel guilty about them.

One thing that has helped me get through these bouts of self-inflicted mental beatings has been an understanding of Jesus’ Parable of the Lost Son (Luke 15:11-32). I had read this scripture passage a couple times but I never really read it until January during Advent. On January 10, 2013 the author of the Little Blue Book referenced this passage when he wrote about how Jesus came for everyone, all sinners, the rebellious and the spendthrifts, and even the “losers, nerds, and ….people with bad attitudes”. As I recall those words I find I fall frequently into at least the last category. The author finished by saying, “But, Jesus came for me. My job is to believe it.” Well, as someone whose faith is still in its infancy, and who is still getting used to praying for the Lord’s mercy and forgiveness for his sins, that caught my attention.

At the same time I was trying to comprehend all this back in January, I was also listening to a song on a new CD I had purchased. The song is The Golden Boy and the Prodigal by Jason Gray (if you haven’t figured it out yet, I really like this guy’s music!) The premise of the song is that there is a little of the Golden Boy who can do no wrong, as well as a little Prodigal Son who can do no right, in each of us, and our human nature tends to cause us to be proud of the former and ashamed of the latter. The last verse of his song goes:

So take a good look in the mirror, can you tell me who you see?

The one who Jesus died for or the one you’d rather be?

Can you find it in your heart to show mercy to the one,

The Father loved so much that he gave His only Son?

When I looked at the reflection from the Little Blue Book together with these powerful lyrics, I understood that no matter how down on myself I get, God is still there for me. I understood it’s simply not good enough to pray for the Lord’s mercy and forgiveness; I need to also have faith that He will answer my prayers. And, then, when I do believe, when I’ve shown true remorse and at the same time shown true gratitude for His divine mercy, I need to heed Jason Gray’s advice for complete healing and forgive and show mercy to myself, as well. For me, that might be easier said than done. If you have any hints on how to do this effectively, please let me know.

Good night and God bless.

The Breath of God

20 Saturday Apr 2013

Posted by Jerry Robinson in Bible Reflections, Prayer

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Breath of God, Gospel of John, HolySpirit, Ruah

A while back a friend and I were lamenting about how hard it is when you pray to concentrate on clearing your mind of all the thoughts that are itching to be silently said and, instead, listening to the voice of God. And then, even when you’ve figured out how to turn off your internal voice, it’s difficult to maintain that concentration with the often disturbing ambient noise around you. My friend said he sometimes puts his hands over his ears to muffle the sounds and it helps him concentrate on the sound of his breathing.

“Whoa, wait a minute”, I thought, “The sound of his breathing?” There were bells going off here! At some point in the past year during my crash course in Catholicism and the formation of my faith, I had heard or read something that had to do with the voice of God or the name of God, and some connection with breathing or the wind blowing….or something along those lines. I racked my brain to remember what it was. I searched on-line to no avail and had about convinced myself I had dreamed it all when, with a smidgen of help from our good Deacon, I had a breakthrough. What I had been trying to think of was the Hebrew word “Ruah” which is translated into English as “The Breath (or Whisper) of God”. But, in Hebrew “The Breath of God” is synonymous with “The Holy Spirit”. In other words, the Jews considered the Holy Spirit to be the Breath of God.

Then, at Easter, I was thumbing through the Gospel of John and I stumbled upon John 20:22, “And when He had said this, He breathed on them and said to them, “Receive the Holy Spirit”.

I am an engineer and, as such, I tend to be a linear thinker. It wasn’t hard for me to connect the dots in this thought process. Considering the fact that, as Catholics, we believe the Holy Trinity lives within us, the connection I was trying to make, and which I quite triumphantly suggested to my friend, was that while he is listening and concentrating on his own breathing as a focusing technique so as to better hear what the Holy Spirit is saying to him, maybe, just maybe, they are one and the same thing in that ultimate moment when true reverence is reached, and, perhaps, through that calmness, a translation occurs.

Think about it. I, for one, am going to give it a try.

Confession: Why Bother?

18 Thursday Apr 2013

Posted by Jerry Robinson in Confession, Prayer, Reconciliation

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Biblical Submission, Confession, Ephesians 5, Reconciliation, servant leadership

Psalm 25:11 “For the sake of your name, O LORD, forgive my iniquity, though it is great.”

Throughout late 2010 and into all of 2011, I worked to become a better spiritual leader to Elissa and my three daughters. However, I struggled with the guilt of my past sins and prayed for guidance frequently. The answer, of course, was in front of me every Saturday afternoon before 5:30 mass but I tried not to see it. In December of 2011, God finally got through my thick skull that I needed to reconcile with Him by confessing my sins to Him through the sacrament of reconciliation.

The Catechism of the Catholic Church says, “The confession of sins, even from a simply human point of view, frees us and facilitates our reconciliation with others. Through such an admission, man looks squarely at the sins he is guilty of, takes responsibility for them, and thereby opens himself again to God and to the communion of the Church in order to make a new future possible.”

The problem was that I hadn’t been to confession in over 30 years and couldn’t even remember what to do. I had to look up the rules on-line and re-memorize an act of contrition. It seemed simple enough: Walk in, say hello Father it has been 30 years since my last confession. He’ll then ask me to state my sins. I figured that might take awhile for me. After that, he might ask me questions for clarification and then ask me to make an act of contrition, give me penance, and say a prayer of absolution. Why was it so hard for me to step into the confessional?

During Advent of 2011, I finally worked up the nerve to go. I did not tell Elissa in advance just in case I chickened out. I went to 7 a.m. mass downtown at the cathedral, spoke with the priest after mass, and confessed the worst of my past. When I was done, I felt a wave of relief and lightness in my soul that I had never felt before. Elissa and I had always joked that if I ever went, the poor priest’s head would explode with all my sins. I sent a simple text to Elissa “The priest’s head didn’t explode.”

Ephesians 4:22-24 “You should put away the old self of your former way of life, corrupted through deceitful desires, and be renewed in the spirit of your minds, and put on the new self, created in God’s way in righteousness and holiness of truth.”

Reconciliation brought me great relief and a renewed desire to grow in my faith. It brought me closer to God, and made me want to amend my life in several ways.

Reconciliation made me want to grow in my faith. I signed up for a Christ Renews His Parish (CRHP) weekend in April 2012. Hearing the stories of the men during my receiving weekend moved me deeply. I realized that I was not alone in my troubles and that there was hope for a sinner like me. I attended reconciliation that weekend and felt a new sense of peace. I also did something I never thought I would do, join a CRHP giving team. Those six months were a blessing in my life as I came to know, love, and respect all the men on my giving team. Those blessings continued in March of 2013 when I joined several other men in Morristown, Tennessee to present CRHP for the very first time to 19 men at St. Patrick’s Catholic Church.

Reconciliation made me want to be a better husband to Elissa. To help with that, Elissa and I attended a marriage encounter weekend in May 2012. If you have not gone to one, I highly recommend it. We learned so much about each other, improved our communication, and renewed our commitment to each other. During that weekend, we promised each other that we would try couples prayer. Neither of us had much experience with spontaneous prayers said aloud. I am happy to say that we have prayed together for a year now and it continues to bring us closer to each other and to God.

Reconciliation made me want to be a better father to my girls. Dr. Meg Meeker, in her book, “Strong Fathers, Strong Daughters” wrote, “Our daughters need the support that only fathers can provide—and if you are willing to guide your daughter, to stand between her and a toxic culture, to take her to a healthier place, your rewards will be unmatched…The only way you will alienate your daughter in the long-term is by losing her respect, failing to lead, or failing to protect her. If you don’t provide for her needs, she will find someone else who will.”

In the summer of 2012, I started date night with Daddy for the girls. Each month, one of my daughters picks an activity for just the two of us. I have taken them to baseball games, fancy dinners at the Golden Lamb, and putt-putt golfing at the Web on Cincinnati-Dayton Road. What we do together isn’t really the point. What is important to the girls is that they get one-on-one time with their father. I do this to try to demonstrate what love is to my girls so that as they get older they do not seek love from others in inappropriate ways.

Reconciliation made me want to be an active participant at our parish. I did that by becoming a lector last year. It has helped me focus on God’s word and set a leadership example to my wife and daughters. One benefit I got from lectoring is that on August 26, 2012, I got to read Ephesians 5 to the congregation. God spoke to me in August 2010 through that passage, urging me to serve my family by leading them to Him. I read it from the heart because it has had such a strong and lasting impact on my marriage.

I am still a sinner, always will be, but with the sacrament of reconciliation and God’s grace, I can now confidently, and without hypocrisy, lead my family in our spiritual life. I thank Him every day for another opportunity to do His will.

If you have avoided this sacrament, I encourage you to step out in faith and step into the confessional. You will not regret it.

Fear is Easy, Love is Hard (1) / Nothing is Wasted (2)

16 Tuesday Apr 2013

Posted by Jerry Robinson in Prayer

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Boston Marathon, Fear, Jason Gray, Love

“Turn on the T.V. for the evening news / They got plenty of fear and nothing to do / Another somebody’s gone too far / Makes you want to put up your guard / Fear is easy, love is hard”.

These song lyrics by Christian singer/songwriter Jason Gray came over my car stereo this evening as I was in the middle of a two-hour drive on a business trip. The sadness in them could not have been more appropriate or timely. Like most every other American on this fifteenth day of April, 2013 my mind was on the senseless terroristic acts of violence that unfolded today in Boston, Massachusetts during the Boston Marathon. I intentionally chose not to listen to any more news reports – I had heard enough and nothing they said could change what had happened. My thoughts vacillated between anger at whoever was responsible for the death and destruction, and heartfelt sympathy for all the human beings who were tragically affected. It was painful to think in the present.

It was no less painful when flashback images and emotions from September 11^th, 2001 coursed through my heart and mind’s eye. But, one of the advantages of my age is in understanding that history tends to repeat itself and, thus, if you pay attention and learn as you go, you are better prepared for when evil will again, inevitably, raise its ugly head. I no longer believe in coincidence, so when the next song on the CD, Nothing is Wasted, came up I smiled for the first time in a couple hours:

“The hurt that broke your heart / And left you trembling in the dark / Feeling lost and alone / Will tell you hope’s a lie / But what if every tear you cry / Will seed the ground where joy will grow / And Nothing is Wasted / It’s from the deepest wounds / That beauty finds a place to bloom / And you will see before the end / That every broken piece is / Gathered in the heart of Jesus / And what’s lost will be found again / And Nothing is Wasted….”

There’s no doubt we Americans have been down this road before. To forget or not use what we learned almost twelve years ago would indeed be a waste. So, my thoughts turned to the future and I wondered, “What are we going to do about this?” I’ve learned there are many things about which I can do absolutely nothing. How to tackle the issue of terrorism is one of those things. Our government is supposed to do that for us. A terrorist’s most lethal weapon is their hatred for what is good and just, and the primary goal of terrorism is to spread fear and that same hatred. Their bombs are simply a means to that end. Let the government figure out how to stop them from using their physical weapons.

But, as citizens, and Christians, we have learned we can do something. We have to take the hard road, the difficult task of ensuring our spirit is not broken. We have to stand up to the cowardice of terrorism with the courage to continue what is right and just in accordance with our faith. We can be there for each other. We can love each other. We can support and encourage each other. We can pray for those who have suffered and who are suffering. (Psalm 147:3 “He heals the broken hearted and binds up their wounds”) We can pray for those who are fearful and help them overcome their fear by finding love in the only one Who has enough love for all of us (Isaiah 41:13 “For I am the Lord your God who grasps your right hand; It is I who say to you, ‘Do not fear, I will help you’”). And, by doing so, we can send a clear message that, even though we may have been set back a step or two, we won’t be knocked out by the one-two punch of fear and hatred. We’re not going to take the low, easy road, we’re going to take the hard, high road. We did it almost twelve years ago and we can do it again. And, finally, we can do what is feared most by our enemy, “Pray for those who mistreat you” (Luke 6:28).

“When fear is easy and love is hard / It’s hard to bring your heart to a world that can break it / To offer love to those you’re afraid will forsake it / But a well defended heart is always looking for a fight / In a lonely war against an endless night / But love can bring a light / …It comes down to a simple choice / Shouting devils or a still small voice / One is spreading fear and dread / Oh, but love has always said / Do not be afraid / Fear is easy and love is hard.”

Thank you, Jason Gray, for your beautiful insight! I hope you don’t mind me borrowing some of it.

Peace be with you all, and with your spirit.

How we respond to Prayer Request

15 Monday Apr 2013

Posted by richbrewers in Prayer

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Prayer

I often get prayer requests from friends or friends of friends similar to this one:

“A Co-worker of mine has a son Oliver who has been diagnosed with a tumor in his brain that is in-operable. Listed below is a description of his condition. He will most likely be starting radiation on Monday the 22nd, and will be (hopefully) outpatient, taking only 1.5 hours each day Mon-Fri for 6-7 weeks. The chemo and other meds will start a couple weeks into the radiation treatment and continue on beyond. Please send out a request for prayers for Oliver.”

Typically, my immediate response is to send a quick reply of sympathy and an offer to pray, and then I offer up an immediate prayer for the intention I just received. I do this because I believe in the efficacy of prayer and because I know myself well enough to understand that if I don’t offer the prayer immediately on the spot, I will forget to include the intention later during my personal prayers. But I have friends who do much better and have the ability to offer more of themselves. Mike, a dear friend of mine, will often say a rosary and fast for people he doesn’t know, but for whom he has been asked to pray. Jim, the spiritual Godfather of our men’s group, recently commented that he writes down those he has been asked to pray for so he has the list ready when he prays. He said it is in those quiet, prayful moments that God speaks to him. God speaks by giving Jim an inkling of what the person needs, or what may offer the person comfort in their time of need, and Jim responds. Jim asks the Lord to help those in need, but also offers himself up as an instrument of God’s grace and love.

It is the response that I find telling. Jim and Mike offer more of themselves than just a hurried prayer. They openly offer themselves to God as humble servants for the benefit of their neighbor in need. It is a beautiful testimony to how we are called to be brothers and sisters in faith and to minister to each other. The truth is that they are not only helping the person in need more, but they are both getting much more in return by being true servants of Christ. They are great role models for me.

Scripture tells us that the efficacy of prayer involves the action of the Holy Spirit: Luke 6:13.

The Catechism of the Catholic Church states that:

“Christian prayer is a covenant relationship between God and man in Christ. It is the action of God and of man, springing forth from both the Holy Spirit and ourselves, wholly directed to the Father, in union with the human will of the Son of God made man.” ^[67] “The Holy Spirit who teaches the Church and recalls to her all that Jesus said also instructs her in the life of prayer, inspiring new expressions of the prayer: blessing, petition, intercession, thanksgiving and praise.”^[68] “Christian prayer is a communion of love with the Father, not only through Christ but also in him“. “The father gives us when our prayer is united with that of Jesus ‘another Counselor, to be with [us] for ever’, the Spirit of Truth.” ^[69] “The [Holy] Spirit helps us in our weakness; for we do not know how to pray as we ought, but the Spirit himself intercedes with sights too deep for words.” ^[70]

“One enters into prayer by the narrow gate of faith. It is the face of the Lord that we seek and desire; it is his Word that we want to hear and keep”^[71] “Once committed to conversion, the heart learns to pray in faith. Faith is a filial adherence to God beyond what we feel and understand. It is possible because the Son gives us access to the Father. He can ask us to ‘seek’ and to ‘knock’, since he himself is the door and the way.^[72]

I can only hope to learn from my brothers in faith and enter into deeper, more meaningful prayer. Christ himself prayed constantly; there is no better role model. In his book A Call to Joy, Living in the Presence of God, Matthew Kelly says that the change that had the greatest effect of his life was that he started to really pray. “Over time it became clear to me that the greatest act available to us is to be like God–to imitate Christ the perfect man. I had always been taught that to aim for perfection in whatever I did was good and noble. Why shouldn’t I aim to perfect my whole person?” (26). While we all fall short of perfection, Kelly is correct that the endevor for perfection is not only noble, but it is our calling. We are called to be Christ like. But only through prayer and the grace of God can we grow. “The [Holy] Spirit helps us in our weakness; for we do not know how to pray as we ought, but the Spirit himself intercedes.”