Receiving God’s Love

03 Thursday Dec 2015

Posted by Jerry Robinson in Bible Reflections, Faith, Hope, Prayer, Thanksgiving, Uncategorized

Tags

P.Veronese, Gottvater - P.Veronese / God the Father -

-God the Father, Paolo Veronese

Prior to last week’s post, Happy Thanksgiving!, I had gone two months without writing, the longest break I’ve ever taken between posts. I thought that perhaps I was simply stumped on how to express myself through my words. Then I realized I had no words to express. No, the problem was not articulation; the problem was a lack of inspiration. On several occasions I tried to force myself to write – fingers anxiously poised on the keyboard, gently tapping the keys – but nothing flowed to them from my brain. No ideas. Nada.

A couple weeks ago I realized this lack of inspiration coincided with something else that had me concerned – a noticeable dryness in my faith, a feeling of alone-ness. I could not recollect having had a “God-moment” (an instance when I particularly feel God working in my life) since the one I wrote about two months ago. I thought I must be doing something wrong. So, in addition to more fervent prayer, I prayed for inspiration. But, nothing appeared to change.

One of the good things about being Christian is the gift of Hope given to us by Jesus Christ. We keep Hope alive in our hearts for that long-term promise of everlasting life. And, in the short-term, it helps keep wind in our sails when we might otherwise feel adrift at sea. It helps us to not give up.

On the night of Thursday, 19 November, I had plans to attend my bi-weekly men’s faith sharing group meeting. Actually, it was one of two meetings planned for that night, the other being an Ultreya meeting, and I had to choose between one or the other. I chose the men’s group because it seems I have become the de facto leader of that group. However, after my friend, at whose house we were to meet, called and said he could not host, I cancelled the meeting.

This, of course, then freed me to go to the monthly Ultreya meeting at which I would share with other Cursillo alumni my steps to keep piety in my daily life, what I have been studying to learn more about my faith, and what actions I’ve taken to bring others to Christ. I considered not going because I would have to fess up that, excepting my daily prayer and a little effort at studying, I hadn’t done much of anything with respect to action. But, that underlying feeling of Hope told me I should go, that I shouldn’t give up.

Our meetings begin with a meditation and a personal reflection. We then break into small groups of three or four for sharing. I found myself in a group with a dear friend who, along with her husband, has become more or less a spiritual mentor for me.

During our conversation, my friend asked me how God had been working in my life recently. I know I gave her a sheepish look and replied that I was in a dry spell. I said that although my study had eased somewhat and my prayer life was good, my actions were not what they ought to be and it had me bothered. I confessed I had been feeling discouraged and as though I wasn’t being the disciple that I should be. My friend told me to not worry but just remember that God loves me. I thanked her.

A couple hours later as I was getting ready to retire for the night, I prayed telling God that I know He loves me but I’d especially like for Him to help me feel His loving presence. I reiterated that prayer when I woke on Friday morning.

I have developed the habit of taking time in the mornings (well, most mornings) to read the daily scripture and to read the reflections in two daily devotionals: St. Augustine – Day by Day, and Jesus Calling – Enjoying Peace in His Presence¹. On this Friday, the 20^th (actually, my first time to read from them in a few days), I read the following from Jesus Calling:

“I am pleased with you, My child. Allow yourself to become fully aware of My pleasure shining upon you. You don’t have to perform well in order to receive My Love. In fact, a performance focus will pull you away from Me, toward some sort of Pharisaism. This can be a subtle form of idolatry: worshiping your own good works. It can also be a source of deep discouragement when your works don’t measure up to your expectations. (Underlined for emphasis).

Shift your focus from your performance to My radiant Presence. The Light of My Love shines on you continually, regardless of your feelings or behavior. Your responsibility is to be receptive to this unconditional Love. Thankfulness and trust are your primary receptors. Thank Me for everything; trust in Me at all times. These simple disciplines will keep you open to My loving Presence.” [Compiled from Ephesians 2:8-9 & 3:16-19; Psalm 62:8]

I read those two paragraphs two or three times. I read the chapters and verses from which they were gleaned. They were meant for me! I bowed my head and I prayed giving thanks to Him for making easy something which, in my disparagement, I had made so difficult. My focus was inward and on me rather than on Him. I simply needed to take time to bask in His Love, and accept that He is always there.

I had to wonder if my friend knew what I would find in Jesus Calling on Friday, 20 November. But, I knew she didn’t. What she knew, however, was that Jesus is there when you need Him and call upon Him. And, in her kind words of, “Remember, God loves you”, she gave my faith a shot in the arm that I needed to bring me back. And, when I came back, God didn’t disappoint.

“Dear Loving God, thank You for drawing me back to You and helping me to rediscover Your loving Presence. Thank You for instilling in me Your Hope and not letting me give up. And, thank You for placing loving friends in my life who, through their strong faith, encourage me to live mine. Amen.”

(The post, Receiving God’s Love, was first published on the blog Reflections of a Lay Catholic)

©2015 Reflections of a Lay Catholic. Reposting and sharing of material in its full and original content is permitted, provided that full and clear credit is given to the author(s) and Reflections of a Lay Catholic.

What Do You See?

25 Friday Sep 2015

Posted by Jerry Robinson in Eucharistic Adoration, Faith, Love, Prayer

≈ 4 Comments

Tags

Blessed Sacrament, Discipleship, Eucharistic Adoration, Faith, Prayer

It’s four o’clock on Friday afternoon as I take my place on the prie-dieu, kneeling in front of the Tabernacle in the Blessed Sacrament Chapel for my hour of Adoration. Today the Blessed Sacrament is exposed and Jesus is at home in the monstrance. It’s just me and Jesus here together. It doesn’t get much better than this.

I say my prayers, giving thanks for His Grace and Mercy. I ask Him to forgive me for my sins and I ask for His blessings on my family. I give Him thanks for this opportunity to be here with Him.

I pray that during the next hour, in the quiet solitude of this beautiful church, He makes Himself present to me. I look up at Him and I know He’s looking down at me, and my deepest desire is to feel His presence.

As always, I tell myself to clear my mind so I can hear Him if He speaks to me. I try this almost every week and I know how difficult it is to lasso the stray thoughts and images and corral them into an out of the way corner. I am seldom successful.

I tell myself, “Relax, take a deep breath, and picture Jesus looking back at you.” It strikes me that I’m thinking/talking to myself in the second person. I realize this conversation is anything but clearing my mind.

I try again. After a few moments of nothingness….“Ugh, I forgot to get back with the Boss about those plans for next week. He’s not gonna be happy!” I catch myself before I go too far down this rabbit trail and I try to get back on track.

Again, I utter, “Breathe, clear your mind. Look up at Jesus and feel Him looking down at you.” After another few moments of nothingness….

“Jesus, what do you see? What do you see when you look down at me? Besides a middle-aged, over-weight man with a growing bald spot on the top of his head, what do You see, Lord? What do You see in my heart?

“Am I the disciple You would have me be? Do I do all that I can to bring others to You? Am I quick to be charitable? I try, Lord, but am I doing enough? Do my actions speak for themselves? Is my faith strong enough for me to be believable to others? Lord, I know I have made little effort lately to grow my faith, please help me.

“What do You see, Lord? Am I the husband I should be to my wife? You know how much I love her, but do I make her feel as loved as she deserves to feel? Do I sacrifice and die to myself daily like I should for her? I know the answer. Please help me be a better husband.

“What do You see in me as a parent? When You look into my daughters’ hearts do You see love that is borne from my love for them? Does my love reach across the miles to them? Have I been, and do I continue to be, a good role model for them? Perhaps so – they have chosen fine men to be their husbands – but, please, show me how to continue. And, please let them know I will always love them.

“As I grow older, and as my parents grow older, do You see me being the son I should be? Do I reach out to them often and comfort them? Have I shown gratitude for all they have done for me? Help me be a better son, Lord.

“As a sibling, what do You see? The years and the miles have made it easy to gradually slip away from my brother, sisters, and in-laws. Do they know how much I still love and care about them? Have I made the effort to let them know? Please help me find a way to do better at staying in touch.

“Lord, You have blessed me with some truly wonderful friends who care not just about me as a person but as a spiritual being. Have I let them know how much their love for You means to me? Do they know their love and guidance has brought me closer to You? What do You see, Lord? Am I there for them when they need help? Do I reciprocate and help them get closer to You?”

I come back to the moment and it dawns on me that I haven’t yet cleared my mind. I’m not listening. I’m in a monologue with Jesus and I’m not giving Him a chance to respond. Again, in the second person, I rebuke myself, “How can you expect Jesus to reveal Himself to you when you’re doing all the talking?”

Then, I think, “Wait, maybe He just did.”

I love my hour of Adoration with Him!

Lord Jesus, every week when I pray to You before Mass, I ask for insight and Your assistance in helping me become a better disciple, husband, father, son, brother and friend. I pray I never stop asking. Amen.

(What Do You See? was first published on the blog Reflections of a Lay Catholic)

Ephphetha – Be Open!

07 Monday Sep 2015

Posted by Jerry Robinson in Bible Reflections, Evangelization, Faith, Fear, Scripture

≈ 2 Comments

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Baptism, Ephphatha, Evangelization, Faith, Fear, Isaiah 35:4-6, Mark 7:32-36

“³²And people brought to him a deaf man who had a speech impediment and begged him to lay his hand on him. ³³He took him off by himself away from the crowd. He put his finger into the man’s ears and, spitting, touched his tongue; ³⁴then he looked up to heaven and groaned, and said to him, “Ephphetha!” – that is, “Be opened!”. ³⁵And immediately the man’s ears were opened, his speech impediment was removed, and he spoke plainly. ³⁶He ordered them not to tell anyone. But the more he ordered them not to, the more they proclaimed it.” – Mark 7:32-36 (NAB)

When I heard this Gospel reading yesterday morning at St. Mary’s Catholic Church in Muncie, Indiana I couldn’t help but think back to April 2013. I will never forget the day when I first heard this scripture passage – the morning of Easter Saturday. Later that night, after my baptism, first communion and confirmation, I became Catholic.

I wrote about the experience a few days later in my first ever blog post, My First Easter Vigil Mass. Thinking back to that post, my focus was on verses 35 and 36 – why did Jesus not want those whom he healed to tell anyone? But, this Sunday, my mind settled on the last two words of verse 34, “Be opened!”

Just minutes before my attention was captured by those two words, I heard the first reading from Isaiah in the Old Testament:

“⁴Say to those whose hearts are frightened: Be strong, fear not! Here is your God, he comes with vindication; with divine recompense he comes to save you. ⁵Then will the eyes of the blind be opened, the ears of the deaf be cleared; ⁶then will the lame leap like a stag, then the tongue of the mute will sing.” – Isaiah 35:4-6 (NAB)

So, when the Deacon read, “Be opened!”, I had a slight epiphany. I knew that Jesus meant more than to cease being deaf and dumb when he cured the man. He meant exactly what the celebrant says at a child’s baptism, “The Lord Jesus made the deaf hear and the dumb speak. May he soon touch your ears to receive his word, and your mouth to proclaim his faith, to the praise and glory of God the Father.”

Ever since that April two years ago, I have tried earnestly to be open to God’s Word and to proclaim my faith. I have made that effort not because I remembered and tried to live up to that which the celebrant prayed over me at my baptism, but because I wanted to, and because it was what I know is right.

Now, looking back, I began to wonder if I have given it my all. Have I been as open to His Word as I could be? Have I studied and tried to understand as much as I ought? Have I shied away from professing my faith to others because of the fear of not knowing enough to defend myself? Have I helped others to better understand and strengthen their faith or have I been laissez-faire in evangelizing?

The answer, of course, is, regardless of how well I’ve done, I can still do better.

When was the last time you asked yourself those questions?

“Lord God, thank You for all I’ve learned in the last two years. But, I need Your help to continue to do better. Please, help me to always be open to and understand Your Word. And, give me courage to proclaim my faith and help others live theirs. Amen.”

(Ephphatha – Be Open! was first published on the blog Reflections of a Lay Catholic)

I Thirst For You

04 Friday Sep 2015

Posted by Jerry Robinson in Faith, Grace, Hope, Love

≈ 6 Comments

Tags

Blessed Mother Teresa, Faith, Forgiveness, Grace, Hope, I Thirst For You, Love, Mercy

Every now and then something comes along that is so special you can’t get it out of your mind. You keep revisiting it and replaying it. And, each time you do, you find one more nugget of inspiration that convinces you to repeat the process again.

Such has been my case ever since a friend shared a special meditation with our men’s faith sharing group a couple years ago. The meditation is titled, I Thirst For You, and its authorship is attributed to Blessed Mother Teresa. My friend read it to our group, in his baritone voice, slowly and with immense feeling. I closed my eyes and visualized as if Jesus was the One actually speaking to me. I was blown away. I could feel His love flowing over me.

Since that evening I have heard my friend read it a couple more times and I still get goose bumps. I have read it many times since, both to myself and to others, and each time I seem to focus on and ruminate over a new word or phrase that jumps out at me. I always find something new that brings me joy.

I read it again tonight and I thought back to that first time I heard it. I remembered how none of the six or seven of us men had ever heard the meditation before then, and I wondered how many other faithful Catholics have never heard it, either. It ought to be on the reading list of every Catholic. No, actually, it ought to be on the reading list of every Christian, not just Catholics. So, I decided to post it here on this blog and share it with all readers. I hope you get goose bumps, too.

Hint: Read this slowly and with feeling. When a word or phrase grabs your attention, take a moment to reflect on what it is Christ is trying to tell you at that moment. Then, I encourage you to share this with others and ask someone else to read it to you while you listen with your eyes closed and soak up its message. You won’t regret it. Let me know what you think.

God Bless.

I THIRST FOR YOU

“Behold, I stand at the door and knock…” (Rev.3:20)

It is true. I stand at the door of your heart, day and night. Even when you are not listening, even when you doubt it could be Me, I am there. I await even the smallest sign of your response, even the least whispered invitation that will allow Me to enter.

And I want you to know that whenever you invite Me, I do come – always, without fail. Silent and unseen I come, but with infinite power and love, and bringing the many gifts of My spirit. I come with My mercy, with My desire to forgive and heal you and with a love for you beyond your comprehension – a love every bit as great as the love I have received from the Father (“As much as the Father has loved me, I have loved you…”[John.15:9]). I come – longing to console you and give you strength, to lift you up and bind all your wounds. I bring you My light, to dispel your darkness and all your doubts. I come with My power, that I might carry you and all of your burdens; with My grace, to touch your heart and transform your life; and My peace I give to still your soul.

I know you through and through. I know everything about you. The very hairs of your head I have numbered. Nothing in your life is unimportant to Me. I have followed you through the years, and I have always loved you – even in your wanderings. I know everyone of your problems. I know your needs and your worries. And yes, I know all your sins. But I tell you again that I love you – not for what you have or haven’t done – I love you for you, for the beauty and dignity My Father gave you by creating you in His own image. It is a dignity you have often forgotten, a beauty you have tarnished by sin. But I love you as you are, and I have shed My Blood to win you back. If you only ask Me with faith, My grace will touch all that needs changing in your life, and I will give you the strength to free yourself from sin and all its destructive power.

I know what is in your heart – I know your loneliness and all your hurts – the rejections, the judgments, the humiliations. I carried it all before you. And I carried it all for you, so you might share My strength and victory. I know especially your need for love – how you are thirsting to be loved and cherished. But how often have you thirsted in vain, by seeking that love selfishly, striving to fill the emptiness inside you with passing pleasures – with the even greater emptiness of sin. Do you thirst for love? “Come to Me all of you who thirst…”(John 7:37). I will satisfy you and fill you. Do you thirst to be cherished? I cherish you more than you can imagine – to the point of dying on a cross for you.

I thirst for you. Yes, that is the only way to even begin to describe My love for you: I THIRST FOR YOU. I thirst to love you and to be loved by you – that is how precious you are to Me. I THIRST FOR YOU. Come to Me and I will fill your heart and heal your wounds. I will make you a new creation and give you peace, even in all your trials. I THIRST FOR YOU. You must never doubt My mercy, My acceptance of you, My desire to forgive, My longing to bless you and live My life in you. I THIRST FOR YOU. If you feel unimportant in the eyes of the world, that matters not at all. For Me, there is no one any more important in the entire world than you. I THIRST FOR YOU. Open to Me, come to Me, thirst for Me, give Me your life – and I will prove to you how important you are to My Heart.

Don’t you realize that My Father already has a perfect plan to transform your life, beginning from this moment? Trust in Me. Ask Me every day to enter and take charge of your life – and I will. I promise you before My father in heaven that I will work miracles in your life. Why would I do this? Because I THIRST FOR YOU. All I ask of you is that you entrust yourself to Me completely. I will do all the rest.

Even now I behold the place My Father has prepared for you in My kingdom. Remember that you are a pilgrim in this life, on a journey home. Sin can never satisfy you or bring the peace you seek. All that you have sought outside of Me has only left you more empty, so do not cling to the things of this life. Above all, do not run from Me when you fall. Come to Me without delay. When you give Me your sins, you give Me the joy of being your Savior. There is nothing I cannot forgive and heal, so come now and unburden your soul.

No matter how far you may wander, no matter how often you forget Me, no matter how many crosses you may bear in this life, there is one thing I want you to always remember, one thing that will never change: I THIRST FOR YOU – just as you are. You don’t need to change to believe in My love, for it will be your belief in My love that will change you. You forget Me, and yet I am seeking you every moment of the day – standing at the door of your heart and knocking. Do you find this hard to believe? Then look at the cross, look at My Heart that was pierced for you. Have you not understood My cross? Then listen again to the words I spoke there – for they tell you clearly why I endured all this for you: ”I THIRST….”(John 19:28). Yes, I thirst for you – as the rest of the psalm – verse I was praying says of Me: “I looked for love, and I found none…”(Ps 69:20). All your life I have been looking for your love – I have never stopped seeking to love you and be loved by you. You have tried many other things in your search for happiness; why not try opening your heart to Me, right now, more than you ever have before.

Whenever you do open the door of your heart, whenever you come close enough, you will hear Me say to you again and again, not in mere human words but in spirit: “No matter what you have done, I love you for your own sake. Come to Me with your misery and your sins, with your troubles and needs, and with all your longing to be loved. I stand at the door of you heart and knock…Open to ME, for I THIRST FOR YOU…”

“Jesus is God, therefore His love, His thirst is infinite. He, the creator of the universe, asked for the love of His creatures. He thirsts for our love….These words: ‘I thirst’ – do they echo in our souls?” – Mother Teresa

(This introduction to I Thirst For You was first published on the blog Reflections of a Lay Catholic)

Is it God Testing Your Faith or Satan Tempting You?

31 Monday Aug 2015

Posted by Jerry Robinson in Faith

≈ 2 Comments

Tags

54 Day Novena, Faith, Prayer, Rosary, Test of Faith

Lately I’ve racked up a lot of windshield time and, although I’ve missed being at home with my wife, one of the benefits of long drives is the time I have to pray and think deeply.

Over the last week I have had trips of several hours. I have filled some of that drive time with reciting a Rosary as part of a 54 day Novena I started two weeks ago. This is my first time to pray a Novena and I’m happy with myself for not yet missing a day, and pleased that I am feeling much closer to the Lord than I have in recent weeks.

However, I have had several frustrating and critical issues arise recently in my business causing me grief. Experience tells me that these new challenges are not mere coincidence. I believe as we work harder to get closer to God, Satan works harder to derail us.

On one rather long drive this week, I plugged in a CD from a lecture by Fr. Rob Jack, a priest who regularly visits our parish and who is an instructor at the Athenaeum of Ohio in Cincinnati. In his lecture on Living Faith, he mentions how God likes to test our faith from time to time. The vision that came to my mind is of God throwing us curveballs, forcing us to take a strike or two, and be humbled in the process.

But, my next thought presented me with a conundrum: how do we tell whether a challenge is God testing our faith or Satan trying to sabotage us as we try to get closer to God? Over the next several miles, a couple examples came to mind. Since I’ve already used a baseball example above, I’ll stick with sports analogies.

In one case, let’s suppose your hometown basketball team is in the deciding game of the NBA finals. There are 52 seconds to play and your opponent just went up by six points after scoring one three-pointer and then, after a mistake that resulted in a turnover, scored a second three-pointer.

In a second instance, say your favorite hockey team is in the final game of the Stanley Cup playoffs. The score is tied with three minutes left in the game, and your best player gets sent to the penalty box for two minutes after committing a flagrant intentional foul against an opposing player. Because of his action, his team is forced to play one person short which gives the opponent a power play advantage.

Both instances are tense and critical with their entire seasons resting in the balance.

Let’s consider the basketball scenario. The players’ confidence has been shaken and they have been humbled in front of the hometown fans. Calling a time-out, the coach will present to his players a plan to close the gap which, he hopes, will eventually win the game. He will also try to calm his team down and, most importantly, try to keep them focused on the fundamentals and on executing with the skill they have shown all season, that is, to fall back on and trust in each other and in what they know.

This feels like God testing our faith. The response is exactly what He wants us to do! He wants us to stop, collect ourselves, and recognize and do what is right and just. Although the strategy to win the game will likely include intentionally fouling an opposing player, the aim is not to hurt the player nor is it borne out of anger or personal pride.

Now, let’s consider the hockey analogy. The player, in his desperation to win, decided to be “uncharitable”, if you will, towards another player either through anger or to gain an unfair advantage. As a result, he caused his team to be penalized and put the likelihood of a win in jeopardy. As he sits in the penalty box waiting for his chance to get back in the game and play the final minute, he plots his revenge and envisions the crowd cheering him as he scores the go-ahead goal with only seconds remaining.

This situation feels like an example of Satan’s handiwork. The reaction is exactly what Satan is hoping for! He doesn’t give a hoot about who wins the game. He doesn’t care who gets hurt. All he cares about is the player’s pride becoming inflated, that he sees himself as superior to everyone else, and that his selfishness blinds him to the greater good. He wants him to cross that line because then it will be easier for him to do it again and again. He has followed Satan’s game plan to a tee.

On the other hand, the hockey player doesn’t have to choose that path. He has another option. As he sits in the penalty box he could replay in his mind the wrong that landed him there in the first place, and vow not to make that mistake again. He could block out all negative thoughts and focus on playing the best game he’s ever played. He could trust in his years of training to come through for him in a moment of glory. He could opt for doing the best he can do and let the outcome be what it may.

This is exactly what Satan doesn’t want us to do! Do you know why? Because it’s what God expects of us! If we do this, God has won and Satan has lost his grip.

Having thought through this, I have to admit I still don’t know how to tell if a challenge is simply God testing us or if Satan is tempting us. But, I don’t think it really matters whether we know up front or not. What matters is our response to the stimulus. When we are faced with challenges that move us to cheat, lie, shirk responsibility, and blame or plot the demise of others, we let Satan become our coach. When we lose sight of what is right and just, we lose sight of God, and high-five with the devil. But, when we choose the right path we are one step closer to holiness. And, maybe, only during the post-game review can we tell the difference.

I would love to hear if you can tell the difference between God testing your faith and Satan leading you astray.

God Bless You.

(Is It God Testing Your Faith or Satan Tempting You? was first published on the blog Reflections of a Lay Catholic)

The Snow Plow Angel

02 Monday Mar 2015

Posted by Jerry Robinson in Faith, Lent

≈ 4 Comments

Tags

Faith, God-moments, Lent

This is my driveway after a beautiful snow fall. This is what it looked like last Saturday afternoon when my wife and I left home in a blinding snowstorm to drive to Lexington, Kentucky to see comedian Jim Gaffigan perform. You might think it foolish to drive two hours in bad weather for an evening of entertainment. I would have to agree. But, this was a special trip – a birthday surprise for Melinda which I had planned for weeks. And, just in case the roads were bad, I gave myself two extra hours to get there.

Jim Gaffigan was a hoot! He came on stage in jeans and a shirt that were at least a size too small and started his routine talking about fat people. Being the self-deprecating sort, he made fun of himself. Even though I laughed at his humor, I couldn’t help but reflect on my own portliness. I thought to myself, “Maybe this is my sign to get busy and do something about it.”

On Sunday morning we left Lexington and drove back to Lebanon, Ohio and went straight to church for 11 o’clock Mass without going home. We got there a little earlier than normal so I had a few extra minutes to reflect before mass started. I usually follow Matthew Kelly’s advice and pray for inspiration from the Mass: “Lord, please help me to see in this Mass one way in which I can become a better man, disciple, husband, father, son, brother and friend. Amen.” That morning was no different.

It was the first Sunday of Lent and our priest talked in his homily about making sacrifices. Among other things, he specifically mentioned how he’s added a few pounds over the winter and that a sacrifice he needs to make is to eat healthier as well as eat less through fasting during this Lenten season. He pointed out that it takes more than good intentions to make a change in behavior, it takes action.

They say be careful what you pray for. There it was, another sign, plain as day, the one way in which I could become a better person, disciple, husband, father, etc. Of course, I’ve always known this; I just resist taking action to change my behavior.

On the way home from Mass I suggested to Melinda how nice it would be if, while we were away, someone had plowed the eight inches of snow from our driveway. As we approached our house we discovered someone had, indeed, plowed our driveway. But, as I drove down it towards the garage and parking area, I found they had plowed all three hundred feet of it towards the garage and left the snow in piles behind my other car and in front of the garage. I knew whoever did the plowing meant well, but I also knew what I would be doing the rest of the afternoon – digging my car out.

I normally shovel my sidewalks and the parking area in front of my garage after a significant snowfall. If I shovel it when there is only two or three inches of snow, I can easily “plow” it by pushing it to the edges. Not so this afternoon. Nope, I lifted and pitched one shovel full of snow after another for two continuous hours until I could back my car out and have room to turn it around.

During those two hours I had time to think about a lot of things. First, there was, “I probably ought to go to confession after all the bad things I’m thinking about whoever did this to me.” That was followed by, “This is work! I’m not as young as I used to be!” Then, “Young or old, face it buster, you’re just not in as good of shape as you ought to be!” And, then, my mind drifted back to Gaffigan’s jokes about being fat and they suddenly weren’t as funny as they were the night before. And, Father’s comment that it takes more than thinking about losing weight, it means taking action, hit me in the head like a slushy snowball.

Then, because I am so attuned to seeing God work in my life in mysterious ways, what I call “God-moments”, I realized that the dastardly no-good so-and-so who did this was really my “Snow-Plow Angel”. He was the exclamation point at the end of the story. By forcing me to take action, He made it clear that I needed to do more of this, in the form of exercise, to get back to being the better person I wanted to be.

It was nice to be welcomed back to the gym on Monday by some of the guys I haven’t seen in far too long.

“Lord, this year You have been teaching me to trust in You. You know when I need Your help and I thank You for providing it when it’s obvious my ways are not working. Help me to speak Your name, to call on You, when I am tempted to backslide into old, unhealthy behavior. Amen.”

(The Snow Plow Angel was first published on the blog Reflections of a Lay Catholic)

Put Your Faith Where Your Prayer Is

10 Tuesday Feb 2015

Posted by Jerry Robinson in Faith, Fear, Hope, Prayer, Reconciliation, Scripture

≈ 10 Comments

Tags

Faith, Fear, God-moments, Hope, Jason Gray, Mary, Prayer, Reconciliation, Rosary

Photo: Catholicexchange.com

On January 5^th I became a grandfather for the second time. My grandson, Jack, and his parents came home from the hospital on the 7^th. On the evening of the 8^th Jack stopped breathing.

My wife, Melinda, was holding him when the event occurred. Her sister, Barbara, who is an RN, and her husband, Dave, a physician, had stopped by to visit and see the new arrival as they were driving from South Dakota to St. Louis. They helped revive him. The EMTs arrived and whisked Jack to the hospital where he spent the next 17 days undergoing a plethora of tests. Jack is home now and doing well.

But, this story really isn’t about Jack. I needed to set the stage with his life-threatening event in order to relate the life-changing experience I had because of it.

In my life I have had no major tragedies, and only one significant infirmity, within my immediate family. Thus, after Melinda phoned me the next morning, I wasn’t as cool and collected as I had been trained to be in emergency situations. Panicked would be a better adjective. I prepared to go home, pack a bag, and start the ten hour drive from Ohio to Kansas City. But first, I sent an email to friends from church and to the coordinator of our parish prayer chain describing the situation and asking for prayers.

I’ve never driven so far with something so heavy weighing on my heart and mind. Before I reached Indianapolis I found myself crying, fraught with fear for Jack’s health and grief for Lisa and Joe. I felt helpless. I’m a man and an engineer. One of my jobs is to fix problems. Not knowing how to fix little Jack nor how to comfort my daughter was eating me up.

At a rest stop just past Indy I checked my phone for emails. Angie, a dear friend back home, emailed saying she believed that Jack’s guardian angel was with him the night before. Had he been lying down instead of being held, he could have stopped breathing with no one the wiser. Then, she stressed that Barb and Dave were there by no mere coincidence. She believed they were sent there by God at just the moment Jack needed them. Her message was so positive and encouraging, and she lifted my spirits.

But, by the time I reached Illinois I was again in a state of despair. Searching the console between the seats for a napkin to wipe my tears, I found, instead, one of my rosaries. I don’t know how it got there; I don’t remember putting it there. I am not accomplished at praying the Rosary but I sensed I was meant to find that rosary at that moment, and, if there was ever a time to ask Our Lady to intercede and help me in my prayers to Jesus, I felt this was it.

It was Friday and the Sorrowful Mysteries were to be prayed. I contemplated the first Mystery, The Agony of Jesus in the Garden, and read, “In praying to the Father, Jesus found strength, trust, and an angel was sent to comfort Him. So, Jesus will be your comforting angel. It’s as He said to us, ‘Why do you worry in your difficulties? Be strong in Me; look to your God in your most troubled hour, and you will be triumphant.’”

The second Mystery, The Scourging of Jesus at the Pillar, reminded me to bear my pain for the love of our Lord. The third Mystery, The Crowning with Thorns, suggested, “He seems to say to us, ‘Why do you despair when you suffer? Is that the way you love me? Meditate about my passions.’ Let us ask for the gift of patience in our suffering.”

In the fourth Mystery, The Carrying of the Cross, I contemplated how Jesus accepted His suffering out of His love for us. I thought about how His Mother, Mary, must have felt as they met on the road to Calvary. “Oh, how Her Heart must have ached.” I felt we had something in common.

And, finally, as I prayed the fifth Mystery, The Crucifixion and Death of Jesus, I was reminded of Jesus’ words to his disciple just before He died, “Behold your Mother”, and how He wishes that we depend on Her Immaculate Heart for a refuge.

Over the next couple hours I thought much about these messages. I didn’t know how to “give it up”, so I prayed fervently for the Lord to help me help Jack and his parents.

West of St. Louis I took my rosary in hand and prayed again. This time I asked the Lord to take away my pain and suffering or, at least, let me bear it so that Jack and his parents would not have to.

I arrived at the hospital in time to see Jack for a few minutes before visiting hours were over. Seeing him connected to all those wires and tubes was difficult. But, seeing the fear in Lisa’s and Joe’s eyes was even more so.

That night, before bed, I prayed for God to help them and to help me know what to do.

On Saturday morning I saw an article on social media about self-pity and how we need to look to God instead of to ourselves. This drifted in and out of my conscious thoughts the rest of the morning.

Also that morning, I discovered a headlight out on my car. I didn’t need that, but I knew it would need repairing before heading home the next day. I spent a few precious minutes with Jack back at the hospital before I left for the dealership. Standing there, unable to hold him, I still felt helpless. I knew Lisa felt the same way.

On my way to the dealership, I recalled Angie’s note, the messages I received from praying the Rosary, the message about self-pity, and my despair of not knowing what to do. Then, with the images of Jack wired to the monitors, and the concern on my daughter’s face, my emotions reached a climax. I’m not sure how to explain what happened next. I think I realized it was all beyond me, that only God could help. I think, in my heart, I finally gave it up to Him. I say “I think” because, in the nanosecond in which I made that leap of faith, I went from bewilderment to immediate, unprecedented, and intense joy. I instantly began praying, “Thank you, Jesus, thank you!” In that moment when I had unconsciously placed my trust in Him, He told me Jack was going to be okay. I also knew that my faith had finally become more than words.

Over the next couple hours, He reinforced my faith with more God-moments. Afraid I was likely to have a wreck, I got control of my emotions. I turned on the stereo and the first song I heard was one from Jason Gray, A Way to See in the Dark¹:

“Here I am begging for certainty again / But simple trust is what You’re asking me to give…

“The question mark hung at the end of every fear / Is answered by the promise that You are with me here / And that’s all I’ve got when the lights go out and I lose my way / So, I’ll close my eyes, I won’t be afraid, I won’t be afraid.

“And, I’ll reach for your hand in the night / When the shadows swallow the light / ‘Cause I’m giving up, giving in / Once again a childlike faith is my only way to see in the dark….”

I have listened to this song hundreds of times but this was the first time I actually heard its message. It was like Jesus telling me, “Son, how many times do I have to tell you to trust in Me?”

At the moment I pulled into the dealership I received a text from Eric, a friend back home, saying he was praying for Jack and the rest of us. This text was special because Eric is the one person I know who routinely says, “Let go and let God.” It was as if he intuitively knew I had just done so for the first time in my life.

Preparing for a long wait, I grabbed my rosary and a devotional from my back pack. Since it was Saturday, the Joyful Mysteries were the prayers of the day (Coincidence? I don’t think so!). My take-away message from this Rosary was, “In the difficulties of life, the only safety is finding Jesus and never again leaving his great love.”

I had not taken time that morning to read Saturday’s scriptures. The first reading for January 10^th included 1 John 5:14-15, and said, “Beloved: We have this confidence in him that if we ask anything according to his will, he hears us. And if we know that he hears us in regard to whatever we ask, we know that what we have asked him for is ours.” God was telling me again, “Trust me!”

The Gospel for that day, included John 3:30: “He must increase; I must decrease.” It was a reminder to look constantly to Jesus instead of inwardly with self-pity like I had the last day and a half.

From my devotional for January 10th I read: “Practice trusting Me during quiet days, when nothing much seems to be happening. Then when storms come, your trust balance will be sufficient to see you through. Store up for yourself treasure in heaven, through placing your trust in Me. This practice will keep you in My Peace.”²

I thought, “Okay, Lord, I get it now. In one hour, You have, in several ways, affirmed there is no such thing as despair if I will only put my faith and hope in You.”

Finally, I read the daily reflection from Presentation Ministries. It referenced 1 John 5:16 saying, “Many have not had Christmas because they have not repented of sin in their lives. Through the Lord’s forgiveness, they will be given Christmas just before the season ends. On this second to last day of the Christmas season, go to Confession. For so many, Confession is the key to Christmas.”

At 2:10 p.m. my car was repaired. I wanted to get back to the hospital to see more of Jack, but, I now felt pulled to go to Reconciliation. I found the Queen of the Holy Rosary Church was on my route back to the hospital and they had Confession at 2:30 p.m. I arrived there at 2:27 p.m. After relating my story to the priest and confessing my sin of not trusting God, he assigned me a penance to say a prayer of Thanksgiving.

When I returned to the hospital and saw the little man again I knew in my heart he was going to be okay. I didn’t know when but I knew, in God’s time, he would be. I felt the positive power of hundreds of prayers being said for him. I was at peace.

It is in these God-moments, when the Lord reveals Himself to me, that I feel closest to Him. I now know what Eric means by, “Let go and let God.” I know what trusting in Him means. And, I now know how to put my faith where my prayer is.

(Put Your Faith Where Your Prayer Is was first published in Reflections of a Lay Catholic)

¹ A Way To See In the Dark, ©2011 Centricity Music Publishing, (ASCAP)/Nothing is Wasted Music (ASCAP)/Simply Complex Songs (SESAC)/Countermechanical Music (SESAC)/Centric Songs (SESAC), words and music by Jason Gray, Doug McKelvey, and Seth Mosley.

Time to Think

24 Wednesday Dec 2014

Posted by Jerry Robinson in Advent, Christmas, Eucharistic Adoration, Faith

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Advent, Christmas, Eucharistic Adoration, Faith, HolySpirit, John the Baptist, Zechariah and Elizabeth

Birth of John the Baptist

In the Gospel of Luke 1:15-16, the angel Gabriel announces to Zechariah that he and his wife, Elizabeth, will have a son who will “be great in the sight of the Lord….He will be filled with the holy Spirit even from his mother’s womb, and he will turn many of the children of Israel to the Lord their God.” But, because of their age, Zechariah doubts this message from God and the angel strikes him dumb until the day his son is born. (Luke 1:20).

Yesterday’s gospel reading (Luke 1:57-66) recounts how, shortly after the boy is born and the house is filled with guests, Zechariah “asked for a tablet and wrote ’John is his name’, and all were amazed. Immediately his mouth was opened, his tongue freed, and he spoke blessing God.” (Luke 1:63-64).

Then, in today’s gospel reading, The Canticle of Zechariah, (Luke 1:67-79), Zechariah prophesies that a mighty Savior has been born, and that his own son, John, will be, “called the prophet of the Most High”, and will, “go before the Lord to prepare His way” (Luke 1:76).

I can’t help but believe, that during those nine months when Elizabeth carried John, Zechariah kicked himself a few times for his lack of faith. Not being able to talk must have been a burden. But, it gave him a lot of time to think about the angel’s message. And, most importantly, it created the perfect opportunity for Zechariah to listen to the voice of God, uninterrupted by his own speaking, which ultimately allowed him to utter his prophesy.

I don’t think I want to be struck dumb like Zechariah, but I know it would do me good to spend a little more quiet time with the Lord, to turn off my own voice and begin listening to Him to understand His message for me. Because I am traveling, I will miss my normal hour of Eucharistic Adoration this week. I need to build a substitute into my schedule.

Heavenly Father, on this eve of the birth of Your Son, help me to stop and spend at least a few minutes recounting the preparations I’ve made during Advent so that tomorrow will find me rejoicing like the shepherds coming down from the hills into Bethlehem. Amen.

©2014 Reflections of a Lay Catholic. Reposting and sharing of material in its full and original content is permitted, provided that full and clear credit is given to the author(s) and Reflections of a Lay Catholic.

She Said Yes!

22 Monday Dec 2014

Posted by Jerry Robinson in abortion, Faith, Love

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abortion, Christmas, Faith, Love, Mary, Mercy, Miracles

Mary said, “Behold, I am the handmaid of the Lord. May it be done to me according to Your word.” – Luke 1:38

After the priest at Blessed Sacrament Catholic Church in Seattle, Washington read these words from Luke’s Gospel yesterday morning, I said four special prayers.

The first was a prayer of thanks for how fortunate I am, or rather we all are, that Mary gave her fiat, her “Yes”, to the Lord’s angel Gabriel at the Annunciation. I thought about the love she must have had for God, a love based on an unshakable faith. I wondered if she had any idea of the unfathomable joy she would experience during the life of her Son, as well as the excruciating heartbreak she would endure at His death. Did she ever doubt her decision? I don’t think so. I believe she stuck by her words, “May it be done to me according to Your word”, her entire life, even at Christ’s death. Hallelujah, through her, a miracle was born!

My second prayer was also one of thanks for how fortunate I am, as well as my entire family, that my daughter and son-in-law, who live here in Seattle, chose to say “Yes” to God’s plan of having their own child, our first granddaughter, who is now two months old. And, I am thankful for another daughter and husband who did the same and are expecting our second grandchild, a son, in the next few days. Likewise, I wondered if they have an idea of the joys and the heartbreaks they will experience as parents. But, I know, no parent does until they actually happen. I said a prayer of thanks for their love and their courage to be good parents. Hallelujah, through my daughters, miracles are being born!

The third prayer was for all the children whose parents had neither the unselfish love nor the courage to follow through and bring them into this world, parents who chose to follow their own will and said “Yes” to abortion and “No” to the plan which God had already set in motion for them. Lord, bless the souls of these millions of children who never had the opportunity to carry out Your will here on earth, nor the chance to experience the joys of life.

And, finally, my fourth prayer was for all the mothers who have said, and all the mothers who will yet say “No” to God’s plan and abort their babies. I am sure, for many of those mothers, there is deep emotional pain and tremendous heartbreak that accompanies their decisions. Unfortunately, I know there are many mothers who never bat an eye. Lord, please have mercy on these women, forgive those who have contrite hearts, and help those who do not to see the error of their ways.

Lord God, as I await the birth of your Son, Jesus, I give you thanks for our Mother Mary, my mother, my wife and the mother of my children, and mothers everywhere who have said “Yes” to your will. May You grant them a special place in Your Kingdom. Amen.

Saints Joachim and Anne: The Perfect Grandparents

14 Sunday Dec 2014

Posted by Jerry Robinson in Faith, Mary, Saints

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Faith, HolySpirit, Mary, St. Anne, St. Joachim, the Immaculate Conception of Mary

Saints Joachim and Anne

I know it’s been six days since the Feast of the Immaculate Conception but I’m going to write about it anyway. That’s because I learned a few things that day and I want to share them with you. I’m a little embarrassed to admit that, after being Catholic for a year and a half, I still thought the Immaculate Conception of Mary was when Jesus was immaculately conceived in Mary. When I discovered I was wrong, I learned I wasn’t alone – many cradle Catholics don’t know that it does not commemorate the immaculate conception of Jesus in Mary, which is actually the Annunciation, but, instead, the immaculate conception of Mary herself.

After Mass last Monday evening, I had a chance to talk to our Deacon. I asked him, “If Mary needed to be immaculately conceived to be the mother of Jesus, then did Mary’s mother need to be immaculately conceived to bear Mary?” He explained the difference between the two. With Jesus, Mary was a virgin and God was the father (Luke 1:35 – And the angel said to her in reply, “The Holy Spirit will come upon you, and the power of the Most High will overshadow you. Therefore the child to be born will be called holy, the Son of God.”). But, Mary was conceived in the normal human fashion by the union of her parents, St. Joachim (´Jō´·ə·kim) and St. Anne, but was made immaculate by God at the very moment of her conception.

On Tuesday, I happened to watch a video of the A Cappella group, Pentatonix, sing the Christmas song Mary Did You Know (written by Mark Lowry and Buddy Greene, 1991). The song lyrics ask questions such as, “Mary did you know that your baby boy is Lord of all creation? Mary did you know that your baby boy would one day rule the nations?”

Thinking about this, I took the question back one generation and wondered if Mary’s parents, Anne and Joachim, had any idea when their beautiful and pure daughter, Mary, was born that she would eventually give birth to the Son of God? Did Mary tell them about her encounter with the angel Gabriel and that she had given her fiat, “Behold, I am the handmaid of the Lord. May it be done to me according to your word.” (Luke 1:38)? Did Anne and Joachim, along with Joseph, hide pregnant Mary in the village of Nazareth to protect her from their society’s custom of stoning? What influence did Anne and Joachim have upon Jesus as he grew from an infant into a young man?

I wanted to find out more about Joachim and Anne. I discovered that their names are not mentioned in the Bible and there is actually no concrete, historical evidence telling us about them, but what is believed was handed down as tradition with sufficient authority that the early Church accepted it as the truth.

One document that supports that tradition is the Gospel of James. While Church scholars accept that there may be parts of this infancy gospel (a story written to satisfy the desire of the early Christians to know more about the early life of Christ) which are true, they have established that it was written in the middle of the second century (c. AD 145) and, thus, was not inspired by God and is not completely reliable, or, as we say these days, “isn’t the gospel”.

Another document that supports the legend of Sts. Joachim and Anne being the parents of Mary is the book The Mystical City of God, written by a Spanish nun, the Venerable Mother Mary Jesus of Agreda (1602-1665). Sister Mary Jesus of Agreda received spiritual revelations from Our Lady about Herself and Jesus and then recorded them in her book. While The Mystical City of God is not biblical, and has often been disputed, it did, in 1949, receive the Imprimatur of the Church, declaring that the work is free from error in matters of Catholic doctrine and morals.

Both documents support that Mary was made immaculate by God immediately upon her conception. Because Sts. Joachim and Anne, after being married for twenty years and unable to bear children, had their prayers answered, they raised their daughter, Mary, as a consecrated temple virgin and she remained unstained and free of sin her entire life.

As for my questions, I can only speculate. But, there was a certain spiritual satisfaction in contemplating the answers.

I doubt Sts. Anne and Joachim had any idea when they discovered they were going to be parents that they would one day be the grandparents of the Lord. But, because they had longed for years to have a child, I’m sure they loved Mary immensely and nurtured her such that her destiny of one day being the Mother of God would be fulfilled.

I’m sure their faith in God helped them believe their daughter as she related to them her encounter with the angel Gabriel. And, I’m sure they were in wonder, if not fear, when Mary told them she had assented to bear the child who would “rule over the house of Jacob forever” (Luke 1: 33)

I imagine that in the town of Nazareth, a village of probably no more than a hundred or so people, many of whom were most likely related, it could have been difficult to hide the fact that Mary was pregnant. I’d bet there were some tense days and sleepless nights for a while as they discussed what to do.

I imagine that Mary loved, cared for, and nurtured Jesus by following the example set for her by her own parents.

And then, finally, I’m sure that the strength, courage, and will that Mary had to have to keep believing as she watched her son being crucified had to be a result of the strong faith instilled in her by her parents and further strengthened by the Holy Spirit.

I can only imagine what might have happened. But, there’s one thing I’m sure of: God had a plan from the beginning. In it, He cherry-picked all the players, beginning with Joachim and Anne, blessed them and filled them with His grace, and then sat back and watched them carry it out perfectly.

Today, two thousand years later, are we honoring, through thankful prayer, the execution of His wonderful plan and its ultimate, divine creation, our Lord, Jesus Christ?

“Heavenly Father, thank You for the gift of Your Son, who, by the power of the Holy Spirit saved His own Mother from the stain of original sin and, thus, ensured she would join Him in Heaven, body and soul, at Your throne. I pray that, through my baptism and Your continuing grace, I may one day join Your family. Amen.”