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Reflections of a Lay Catholic

Reflections of a Lay Catholic

Category Archives: Prayer

Happy Thanksgiving!

25 Wednesday Nov 2015

Posted by Jerry Robinson in Christian Community, Eucharist, Prayer, Thanksgiving, Uncategorized

≈ 1 Comment

Tags

Bread of Life, Eucharist, Prayer, Thanksgiving

eucharist-1

As the day begins to break on this frosty morning of the eve of Thanksgiving Day, I am already anticipating a joyful and restful four days spent with family and friends. My “Thanksgiving” actually began last night with the arrival of one daughter, her husband, and my grandson. It will continue today when another daughter arrives home from college. The only way it could be better would be if all my children and their families could make it home for the holiday.

Having a day of thanksgiving is not a uniquely American event. Like the origin of our holiday, many cultures celebrate successful harvests and give thanks in advance for the sustenance they bring. I do believe, however, that a roasted turkey as the temporary centerpiece of a dining room table probably is uniquely American.

It seems our culture has developed other traditions that are now commonly associated with this holiday: frenzied Christmas shopping, watching hours of football on television, Thanksgiving day parades, and “Turkey Trot” charity foot races. And, I’m happy to see that the spirit of giving is a growing tradition for many families by serving the less fortunate in our communities.

But, there is one thanksgiving tradition that many Americans, and millions of others around the world, have been observing for about two millennia. The difference between it and the others is that it is a tradition observed every day of the week, including Thanksgiving Day. It is the receiving of the Body, Blood, Soul and Divinity of Jesus Christ in the Holy Eucharist. In fact, the very name “Eucharist” comes from the Greek word for “Thanksgiving”.

The perfect way to begin your Thanksgiving Day celebration is by first attending Mass and celebrating the feast that Jesus Christ Himself prepares for us. In it you will enjoy food, wine, celebration in the form of singing, offering thanks through prayers, and communion not only with your immediate family but with your extended family in Christ, the Church.

So, tomorrow, before you give thanks for your bountiful Thanksgiving Day dinner and before you ask for blessings on those who prepared it; before praying that your football team beats the pants off the other team; and before going head-to-head with over-aggressive shoppers, won’t you take an hour and give thanks to Him by making your spiritual sustenance the Bread of Life, the Holy Eucharist? Won’t you join me?

I am looking forward to being in communion with each of you tomorrow morning. I know it will be the perfect start to a perfect day of gratitude and praise.

God bless you.

(Happy Thanksgiving! was first published on the blog Reflections of a Lay Catholic)

©2015 Reflections of a Lay Catholic. Reposting and sharing of material in its full and original content is permitted, provided that full and clear credit is given to the author(s) and Reflections of a Lay Catholic.

What Do You See?

25 Friday Sep 2015

Posted by Jerry Robinson in Eucharistic Adoration, Faith, Love, Prayer

≈ 4 Comments

Tags

Blessed Sacrament, Discipleship, Eucharistic Adoration, Faith, Prayer

AdorationIt’s four o’clock on Friday afternoon as I take my place on the prie-dieu, kneeling in front of the Tabernacle in the Blessed Sacrament Chapel for my hour of Adoration. Today the Blessed Sacrament is exposed and Jesus is at home in the monstrance. It’s just me and Jesus here together. It doesn’t get much better than this.

I say my prayers, giving thanks for His Grace and Mercy. I ask Him to forgive me for my sins and I ask for His blessings on my family. I give Him thanks for this opportunity to be here with Him.

I pray that during the next hour, in the quiet solitude of this beautiful church, He makes Himself present to me. I look up at Him and I know He’s looking down at me, and my deepest desire is to feel His presence.

As always, I tell myself to clear my mind so I can hear Him if He speaks to me. I try this almost every week and I know how difficult it is to lasso the stray thoughts and images and corral them into an out of the way corner. I am seldom successful.

I tell myself, “Relax, take a deep breath, and picture Jesus looking back at you.” It strikes me that I’m thinking/talking to myself in the second person. I realize this conversation is anything but clearing my mind.

I try again. After a few moments of nothingness….“Ugh, I forgot to get back with the Boss about those plans for next week. He’s not gonna be happy!” I catch myself before I go too far down this rabbit trail and I try to get back on track.

Again, I utter, “Breathe, clear your mind. Look up at Jesus and feel Him looking down at you.” After another few moments of nothingness….

“Jesus, what do you see? What do you see when you look down at me? Besides a middle-aged, over-weight man with a growing bald spot on the top of his head, what do You see, Lord? What do You see in my heart?

“Am I the disciple You would have me be? Do I do all that I can to bring others to You? Am I quick to be charitable? I try, Lord, but am I doing enough? Do my actions speak for themselves? Is my faith strong enough for me to be believable to others? Lord, I know I have made little effort lately to grow my faith, please help me.

“What do You see, Lord? Am I the husband I should be to my wife? You know how much I love her, but do I make her feel as loved as she deserves to feel? Do I sacrifice and die to myself daily like I should for her? I know the answer. Please help me be a better husband.

“What do You see in me as a parent? When You look into my daughters’ hearts do You see love that is borne from my love for them? Does my love reach across the miles to them? Have I been, and do I continue to be, a good role model for them? Perhaps so – they have chosen fine men to be their husbands – but, please, show me how to continue. And, please let them know I will always love them.

“As I grow older, and as my parents grow older, do You see me being the son I should be? Do I reach out to them often and comfort them? Have I shown gratitude for all they have done for me? Help me be a better son, Lord.

“As a sibling, what do You see? The years and the miles have made it easy to gradually slip away from my brother, sisters, and in-laws. Do they know how much I still love and care about them? Have I made the effort to let them know? Please help me find a way to do better at staying in touch.

“Lord, You have blessed me with some truly wonderful friends who care not just about me as a person but as a spiritual being. Have I let them know how much their love for You means to me? Do they know their love and guidance has brought me closer to You? What do You see, Lord? Am I there for them when they need help? Do I reciprocate and help them get closer to You?”

I come back to the moment and it dawns on me that I haven’t yet cleared my mind. I’m not listening. I’m in a monologue with Jesus and I’m not giving Him a chance to respond. Again, in the second person, I rebuke myself, “How can you expect Jesus to reveal Himself to you when you’re doing all the talking?”

Then, I think, “Wait, maybe He just did.”

I love my hour of Adoration with Him!

Lord Jesus, every week when I pray to You before Mass, I ask for insight and Your assistance in helping me become a better disciple, husband, father, son, brother and friend. I pray I never stop asking. Amen.

(What Do You See? was first published on the blog Reflections of a Lay Catholic)

©2015 Reflections of a Lay Catholic. Reposting and sharing of material in its full and original content is permitted, provided that full and clear credit is given to the author(s) and Reflections of a Lay Catholic.

Put Your Faith Where Your Prayer Is

10 Tuesday Feb 2015

Posted by Jerry Robinson in Faith, Fear, Hope, Prayer, Reconciliation, Scripture

≈ 10 Comments

Tags

Faith, Fear, God-moments, Hope, Jason Gray, Mary, Prayer, Reconciliation, Rosary

Photo: Catholicexchange.com

Photo: Catholicexchange.com

On January 5th I became a grandfather for the second time. My grandson, Jack, and his parents came home from the hospital on the 7th. On the evening of the 8th Jack stopped breathing. 

My wife, Melinda, was holding him when the event occurred. Her sister, Barbara, who is an RN, and her husband, Dave, a physician, had stopped by to visit and see the new arrival as they were driving from South Dakota to St. Louis. They helped revive him. The EMTs arrived and whisked Jack to the hospital where he spent the next 17 days undergoing a plethora of tests. Jack is home now and doing well.

But, this story really isn’t about Jack. I needed to set the stage with his life-threatening event in order to relate the life-changing experience I had because of it.

In my life I have had no major tragedies, and only one significant infirmity, within my immediate family. Thus, after Melinda phoned me the next morning, I wasn’t as cool and collected as I had been trained to be in emergency situations. Panicked would be a better adjective. I prepared to go home, pack a bag, and start the ten hour drive from Ohio to Kansas City. But first, I sent an email to friends from church and to the coordinator of our parish prayer chain describing the situation and asking for prayers.

I’ve never driven so far with something so heavy weighing on my heart and mind. Before I reached Indianapolis I found myself crying, fraught with fear for Jack’s health and grief for Lisa and Joe. I felt helpless. I’m a man and an engineer. One of my jobs is to fix problems. Not knowing how to fix little Jack nor how to comfort my daughter was eating me up.

At a rest stop just past Indy I checked my phone for emails. Angie, a dear friend back home, emailed saying she believed that Jack’s guardian angel was with him the night before. Had he been lying down instead of being held, he could have stopped breathing with no one the wiser. Then, she stressed that Barb and Dave were there by no mere coincidence. She believed they were sent there by God at just the moment Jack needed them. Her message was so positive and encouraging, and she lifted my spirits.

But, by the time I reached Illinois I was again in a state of despair. Searching the console between the seats for a napkin to wipe my tears, I found, instead, one of my rosaries. I don’t know how it got there; I don’t remember putting it there. I am not accomplished at praying the Rosary but I sensed I was meant to find that rosary at that moment, and, if there was ever a time to ask Our Lady to intercede and help me in my prayers to Jesus, I felt this was it.

It was Friday and the Sorrowful Mysteries were to be prayed. I contemplated the first Mystery, The Agony of Jesus in the Garden, and read, “In praying to the Father, Jesus found strength, trust, and an angel was sent to comfort Him. So, Jesus will be your comforting angel. It’s as He said to us, ‘Why do you worry in your difficulties? Be strong in Me; look to your God in your most troubled hour, and you will be triumphant.’”

The second Mystery, The Scourging of Jesus at the Pillar, reminded me to bear my pain for the love of our Lord. The third Mystery, The Crowning with Thorns, suggested, “He seems to say to us, ‘Why do you despair when you suffer? Is that the way you love me? Meditate about my passions.’ Let us ask for the gift of patience in our suffering.”

In the fourth Mystery, The Carrying of the Cross, I contemplated how Jesus accepted His suffering out of His love for us. I thought about how His Mother, Mary, must have felt as they met on the road to Calvary. “Oh, how Her Heart must have ached.” I felt we had something in common.

And, finally, as I prayed the fifth Mystery, The Crucifixion and Death of Jesus, I was reminded of Jesus’ words to his disciple just before He died, “Behold your Mother”, and how He wishes that we depend on Her Immaculate Heart for a refuge.

Over the next couple hours I thought much about these messages. I didn’t know how to “give it up”, so I prayed fervently for the Lord to help me help Jack and his parents.

West of St. Louis I took my rosary in hand and prayed again. This time I asked the Lord to take away my pain and suffering or, at least, let me bear it so that Jack and his parents would not have to.

I arrived at the hospital in time to see Jack for a few minutes before visiting hours were over. Seeing him connected to all those wires and tubes was difficult. But, seeing the fear in Lisa’s and Joe’s eyes was even more so.

That night, before bed, I prayed for God to help them and to help me know what to do.

On Saturday morning I saw an article on social media about self-pity and how we need to look to God instead of to ourselves. This drifted in and out of my conscious thoughts the rest of the morning.

Also that morning, I discovered a headlight out on my car. I didn’t need that, but I knew it would need repairing before heading home the next day. I spent a few precious minutes with Jack back at the hospital before I left for the dealership. Standing there, unable to hold him, I still felt helpless. I knew Lisa felt the same way.

On my way to the dealership, I recalled Angie’s note, the messages I received from praying the Rosary, the message about self-pity, and my despair of not knowing what to do. Then, with the images of Jack wired to the monitors, and the concern on my daughter’s face, my emotions reached a climax. I’m not sure how to explain what happened next. I think I realized it was all beyond me, that only God could help. I think, in my heart, I finally gave it up to Him. I say “I think” because, in the nanosecond in which I made that leap of faith, I went from bewilderment to immediate, unprecedented, and intense joy. I instantly began praying, “Thank you, Jesus, thank you!” In that moment when I had unconsciously placed my trust in Him, He told me Jack was going to be okay. I also knew that my faith had finally become more than words.

Over the next couple hours, He reinforced my faith with more God-moments. Afraid I was likely to have a wreck, I got control of my emotions. I turned on the stereo and the first song I heard was one from Jason Gray, A Way to See in the Dark1:

“Here I am begging for certainty again / But simple trust is what You’re asking me to give…

“The question mark hung at the end of every fear / Is answered by the promise that You are with me here / And that’s all I’ve got when the lights go out and I lose my way / So, I’ll close my eyes, I won’t be afraid, I won’t be afraid.

“And, I’ll reach for your hand in the night / When the shadows swallow the light / ‘Cause I’m giving up, giving in / Once again a childlike faith is my only way to see in the dark….”

I have listened to this song hundreds of times but this was the first time I actually heard its message. It was like Jesus telling me, “Son, how many times do I have to tell you to trust in Me?”

At the moment I pulled into the dealership I received a text from Eric, a friend back home, saying he was praying for Jack and the rest of us. This text was special because Eric is the one person I know who routinely says, “Let go and let God.” It was as if he intuitively knew I had just done so for the first time in my life.

Preparing for a long wait, I grabbed my rosary and a devotional from my back pack. Since it was Saturday, the Joyful Mysteries were the prayers of the day (Coincidence? I don’t think so!). My take-away message from this Rosary was, “In the difficulties of life, the only safety is finding Jesus and never again leaving his great love.”

I had not taken time that morning to read Saturday’s scriptures. The first reading for January 10th included 1 John 5:14-15, and said, “Beloved: We have this confidence in him that if we ask anything according to his will, he hears us. And if we know that he hears us in regard to whatever we ask, we know that what we have asked him for is ours.” God was telling me again, “Trust me!”

The Gospel for that day, included John 3:30: “He must increase; I must decrease.” It was a reminder to look constantly to Jesus instead of inwardly with self-pity like I had the last day and a half.

From my devotional for January 10th I read: “Practice trusting Me during quiet days, when nothing much seems to be happening. Then when storms come, your trust balance will be sufficient to see you through. Store up for yourself treasure in heaven, through placing your trust in Me. This practice will keep you in My Peace.”2

I thought, “Okay, Lord, I get it now. In one hour, You have, in several ways, affirmed there is no such thing as despair if I will only put my faith and hope in You.”

Finally, I read the daily reflection from Presentation Ministries. It referenced 1 John 5:16 saying, “Many have not had Christmas because they have not repented of sin in their lives. Through the Lord’s forgiveness, they will be given Christmas just before the season ends. On this second to last day of the Christmas season, go to Confession. For so many, Confession is the key to Christmas.”

At 2:10 p.m. my car was repaired. I wanted to get back to the hospital to see more of Jack, but, I now felt pulled to go to Reconciliation. I found the Queen of the Holy Rosary Church was on my route back to the hospital and they had Confession at 2:30 p.m. I arrived there at 2:27 p.m. After relating my story to the priest and confessing my sin of not trusting God, he assigned me a penance to say a prayer of Thanksgiving.

When I returned to the hospital and saw the little man again I knew in my heart he was going to be okay. I didn’t know when but I knew, in God’s time, he would be. I felt the positive power of hundreds of prayers being said for him. I was at peace.

It is in these God-moments, when the Lord reveals Himself to me, that I feel closest to Him. I now know what Eric means by, “Let go and let God.” I know what trusting in Him means. And, I now know how to put my faith where my prayer is.

(Put Your Faith Where Your Prayer Is was first published in Reflections of a Lay Catholic)

1 A Way To See In the Dark, ©2011 Centricity Music Publishing, (ASCAP)/Nothing is Wasted Music (ASCAP)/Simply Complex Songs (SESAC)/Countermechanical Music (SESAC)/Centric Songs (SESAC), words and music by Jason Gray, Doug McKelvey, and Seth Mosley.

2Jesus Calling, ©2014 Sarah Young, Thomas Nelson Publishing

©2015 Reflections of a Lay Catholic. Reposting and sharing of material in its full and original content is permitted, provided that full and clear credit is given to the author(s) and Reflections of a Lay Catholic.

Heart on Fire

29 Wednesday Oct 2014

Posted by Jerry Robinson in Bible Reflections, Evangelization, Faith, Fear, Love, Prayer, Renewal, Scripture

≈ 6 Comments

Tags

Faith, Fear, God-moments, Grace, HolySpirit, Love, Prayer, Renewal

Road to Emmaus St. MaxEver since I became a Christian people have asked me two questions about my conversion. The first question has been along the lines of, “What was it that convinced you to give up your search for hard proof and accept on faith Christ’s saving Grace and God’s Word?”; and the second has been, “How did it feel when you discovered the Truth?”

My answer to the first question has always been easy for me to explain. Simply put, it was God bringing to fruition my deepest and longest held desires within hours after my witnessing the positive power of prayer and, because of what I had seen and heard, deciding to take a leap of faith by getting down on my knees and praying to Him for help in making those dreams come true.

But, I’ve always had difficulty answering the second question. With respect to Him answering those particular prayers, I certainly felt immense relief and tremendous joy. But, how did I feel about the fact that He answered my prayers at all? That’s a totally different feeling and the one I’ve struggled with adequately describing.

Even as late as this last Sunday, when I related my story in a witness I gave at a men’s Christ Renews His Parish retreat at our church, I still couldn’t do it justice. I know I was amazed, but amazement is a condition of the mind, and there was more to it than that. It felt more like an affair of the heart than of the mind. It was like an instantaneous falling in love and then feeling that same love being reciprocated.

Then, on Monday, in a God-moment, I found the best answer I can expect to find.

I was flying from Chicago to Houston and I couldn’t sleep because the lady behind me, bless her heart, could not keep her two year old son from screaming the entire three hours of the flight. So, I pulled out my bible and opened it to a random page. That page happened to be the start of chapter 24 of the Gospel of Luke. Starting at verse 13, Luke recalls Christ’s Appearance to the two Disciples on the road to Emmaus. After Jesus said the blessing and broke bread with the Disciples, and their eyes were suddenly opened and they realized it was Jesus with whom they had been walking and talking, He disappeared from them.

“Then, they said to each other, ‘Were not our hearts burning within us while he spoke to us on the way and opened the scriptures to us?’” – Luke 24:32 NAB

That is precisely what happened that weekend in April 2012. Through the men of that Christ Renews giving team, Jesus, by the Light of the Holy Spirit, opened the scriptures to me and set my heart aflame. That’s how it felt when I discovered the Truth – my heart was on fire. And, it still is.

After saying a little prayer of Thanksgiving for this revelation, I pondered why this happened to me. To this I came up with my own answer: my heart was open to the truth that weekend two and a half years ago. I was tired of fighting it, tired of trying to do everything on my own and getting nowhere. By deciding to go on that retreat I cracked the door open enough to let God into my life.

But, more specifically, I wondered why it doesn’t happen to more people. In thinking about my own life up to that point, I saw where there are varying degrees of unbelievers. There are those who are just outside the margin, like I was most of my life. Then there are the unbelievers who fight hard to not believe. Their doors are not just shut, they have deadbolts on them. The first might be perpetuated by a certain laziness or simple self-reliance, but I think the latter is due to fear. Fear of being wrong. Either way, I know now that folks on both those shores are missing the boat. And, in doing so, they are missing out on that wonderful feeling of burning love within their hearts.

It’s ironic, though, that all it takes to get that feeling is to give in to the One you have fought so hard against, and to open your heart a crack, just enough to let the Light shine in.

That’s our challenge as Christians in trying to bring others to Christ. How do we convince them to not be afraid, to see that there is goodness in the Alternative, and that life is so much easier and sweeter when the locks have been removed and their hearts are freely open?

“Lord Jesus, I am so grateful for Your presence in my life. Thank You for Your patience, for waiting for me to open my heart so that You could set it afire. Lord, I pray that, as Your disciple and through Your good Graces, I am able to convince those who are afraid, and those who are sitting on the fence, to open their hearts to You. Amen.”

©2014 Reflections of a Lay Catholic. Reposting and sharing of material in its full and original content is permitted, provided that full and clear credit is given to the author(s) and Reflections of a Lay Catholic.

Connecting the Dots between Our Blessings and God’s Love

22 Wednesday Oct 2014

Posted by Jerry Robinson in Love, Prayer

≈ 2 Comments

Tags

Love, Prayer

Photo credit:  Pinterest

Photo credit: Pinterest

I want you to stop what you’re doing. I want you to spend a few moments thinking about the five to ten people you love the most. Visualize your love and really open up your heart and feel your love for them. Imagine how sometimes your love for them is so great it hurts. How sometimes it brings you to tears because you’re afraid they don’t fully understand how deeply you love them. How sometimes it drives you crazy wishing you could show them your love in ways they can better understand.

I’m no social scientist but I’d say that 99 percent of us experience very similar feelings of intense love for at least a few people in our lives.

Now, turn your hat around. Take several moments and make a mental list of the people who you believe love you: spouse, children, parents, sibling, best friend – whoever. If you believe that we are, indeed, similar in the way we feel love for those closest to us, then imagine those people feeling the same way about you as you do for them. Don’t venture into thinking about how well they show their feelings of love, just that they have them. Regardless of how they demonstrate their love for you, can you empathize with them? You know how they feel because you feel that way yourself, don’t you?

Next, mentally select one or two of those people who you say loves you the most. Think back over the last week or so and remember a kindness that person did for you. Maybe your husband cooked you dinner because you’d had a rough day. Maybe your wife brought you a cold iced tea or beer while you were working up a sweat doing yard work. Maybe your son or daughter colored you a picture because of the way you inspire them.

Was the instance that came to mind one for which you offered sincere gratitude? Or, was it one where, perhaps, you failed to express adequate appreciation? Did you stop and consciously think, “He/she did that for me because he/she loves me?” I’m betting there’s a good chance you didn’t recognize it for the act of love that it was. You took it, and the other person’s love, for granted.

These thoughts came to my mind this afternoon when I stopped into a special place and prayed. I worked in Somerset, Ohio today and afterwards I visited St. Joseph’s Catholic Church, the “Cradle of Faith” and oldest Catholic Church in Ohio, to spend a few minutes with the Lord. Once again, I was the only person in the church and the perfect silence inside was ideal for some one-on-one time with Him.

As always, I began my prayer with thanksgiving. I had much for which to be grateful.

First and foremost I gave Him thanks for blessing me with a beautiful and healthy granddaughter, my first grandchild. Elsa Augusta was born to my oldest daughter, Sara, and her husband, Andy, in Seattle, Washington on the 13th. I had been praying for nine months for Sara and Elsa’s safe delivery and good health, and God answered my prayers.

I gave thanks for the wonderful weekend I had just experienced with my wife, Melinda, as we tent camped in a state park in Kentucky, our first camping trip ever without children along.

I gave thanks for the good health of another pregnant daughter and her unborn son; for the safety of another daughter and her husband in their hazardous environment occupations; and for the continued well-being of my youngest daughter in her first semester of college. I am a fortunate husband and father and I wanted to make sure He knew I appreciated all my blessings.

Finally, I thanked God for His constant and eternal love.

And then it hit me. There was a difference in today’s prayer as compared to my prayers in the past.

Up until today, my praying had become rote. I had always given thanks because that’s the first thing you’re supposed to do when you pray. Although my prayers are always sincere – as they certainly were today – I know sometimes I simply rattle off ‘thank yous’ like I’m checking them off my list.

I always give thanks for His love not because I constantly feel it (I know I probably should feel it, but, honestly, I admit I often don’t), but because I have faith and believe Jesus Christ when He tells me God’s love is constant and eternal.

There, on my knees in St. Joseph’s, it dawned on me that this may have been the first time I genuinely connected the dots.

You see, normally, I give thanks for the blessings He gives me, and I give thanks for His love, but I seem to have failed in connecting the dots and realizing that those blessings are a direct result of His love. I hadn’t made the conscious connection that, “I have been blessed because He loves me.” I know now I have often taken His love for granted.

I couldn’t help but think about how I feel when my love is not fully appreciated and I wondered how God feels after I’ve done the same to Him. And, I couldn’t help but think that, perhaps, a good way to thank God for His love and blessings is to express it sincerely to the one who is acting on His behalf, the messenger who delivered it.

Maybe it took the miracle of a new granddaughter, the intimacy of a weekend away with my wife, and the knowledge that all was well with the other primary loves in my life for me to see how all of those blessings are, indeed, a result of His complete love for me.

How are you doing at connecting the dots?

“Heavenly Father, thank You for all Your many blessings and for allowing me to experience the beauty of Your love. Please know that I love You with all my heart, all my soul and all my mind. Amen.”

©2014 Reflections of a Lay Catholic. Reposting and sharing of material in its full and original content is permitted, provided that full and clear credit is given to the author(s) and Reflections of a Lay Catholic.

A New Catholic Prays the Holy Rosary

09 Thursday Oct 2014

Posted by Jerry Robinson in Prayer

≈ 4 Comments

Tags

Eucharistic Adoration, God-moments, Prayer, Rosary

A woman prayingOne of the most confounding things about being a new Catholic has been learning how to pray the Rosary. I’ve been to family Rosary gatherings, special Rosary services, and attempted several times to pray it on my own. But, it never quite clicked for me.

In my first attempt, I pulled out my Knights of Columbus “How To Pray The Rosary” wallet card and followed the instructions. I navigated my way around the Rosary without any problems but I had trouble with contemplating each of the mysteries. The instructions said to announce the mystery and then contemplate on it while saying the decade of Hail Marys. So, using the Sorrowful Mysteries as an example, I announced, “The Agony in the Garden”, and then tried to think on that as I was saying my first decade of Hail Marys.

Those five words, “The Agony in the Garden”, didn’t tell me much. There wasn’t enough there to contemplate. What was I supposed to think about? I did manage an image of Jesus wrestling with what he knew He would have to do, but, I couldn’t sustain that vision when I was trying to deliver ten marginally memorized Hail Marys.

For my next effort I went to a Sunday Family Rosary with friends. I followed in sync with everyone but, once again, I got lost when they got to the announcement of the Mystery. This group used the St. John Vianney Vocation Society publication as a guideline. Thus, when they announced, “The first Sorrowful Mystery – The Agony in the Garden”, they also said, “Jesus asked His Apostles to pray so that they ‘might not enter into temptation.’ Our Lord knew they needed to pray in order to endure what would soon happen.”

I thought, “Wow, there’s more to it than simply saying, ‘The Agony in the Garden’”? In addition to envisioning Jesus in agony over his fate, here was something else to be contemplated: praying for the strength to resist temptation. I asked a friend about this and he told me, “Not everyone prays the Rosary exactly the same way.” The heck you say!

About a month ago a friend gave me another Rosary guideline, this one published by the Marian Fathers. It suggested that the first Sorrowful Mystery should be announced as, “In His anguish He prayed with all the greater intensity, and His sweat became like drops of blood falling to the ground. Then He rose from prayer and came to His disciples, only to find them asleep, exhausted with grief.” (Luke 22:44-45)

As I read this I was able to conjure up a better vision of how Jesus must have felt that night in the Garden of Gethsemane.

Also, about a month ago, one of our priests, Fr. Rob, handed out CDs he had recorded of himself praying the Rosary. The way he announced each Mystery made it more personal for me. For example, with the first Sorrowful Mystery he said, “As we recall The Agony of Jesus in the Garden, let us ask the Lord to feel the weight of our own sins, that we can truly repent from the evil that is in them”. I could do that.

About that same time my wife told me of another resource that helped her to better understand each of the mysteries. The web site, The Rosary Center , illuminates each Hail Mary of each decade of each Mystery in such a way that I can’t help but understand them. It also summarizes each Mystery with a “Spiritual Fruit”, which, for The Agony in the Garden is, “God’s Will be Done”.

In the end, I’ve learned there are many different ways to pray the Rosary, each different but each correct. And, I’ve concluded two things: first, that most cradle Catholics probably learned one way to pray the Rosary and have probably always prayed it that way; and second, that I would teach myself to pray the Rosary by utilizing the expanded reflections on each Hail Mary as presented by the Rosary Center. Then, once I internalize the meaning behind each Mystery, I will be able to recite one of the “shortcuts” as found in the other guidelines but still know the true meaning of that Mystery.

Do you have any special thoughts you can share about how you pray the Rosary?

This week I had an opportunity to give it another try. My experience convinced me to write about it.

Many of my posts are born from “God-Moments” when the Lord reveals Himself to me through subtle indicators that He is present.  Such was the case Tuesday.

I was working at our office in Somerset, Ohio. As I was leaving it began to storm. Rather than drive in a downpour, I chose to stop at St. Joseph’s Catholic Church, just three quarters of a mile from my office, for an hour of Adoration. St. Joseph’s is the oldest Catholic Church in Ohio (see my post from September 2013 The Cradle of Faith in Ohio) and is a beautiful church. I grabbed my Rosary from my car’s console, and I ran up the steps to the church. I was the only one there. I knelt in the front pew, said prayers for Thanksgiving and assistance, and then began to pray the Rosary with determination. Since it was Tuesday I prayed the Sorrowful Mysteries and I was able to contemplate each of them in a way I had never before been able to do. With each Hail Mary I felt as though I was there, two thousand years ago, witnessing each event. In perhaps a small way, I had a sense of what Jesus was feeling. But, I also felt a connection with Mary and how she must have felt as a parent watching her Son being crucified. I cried.

When I finished I sat there a while longer in the total silence and solitude of the church. I realized I had not yet read the daily scripture so I pulled out my phone and called up my Laudate app. As I read, a smile came on my face and I nodded gratefully towards the ceiling. I discovered that it was the Memorial of Our Lady of the Rosary that day. Coincidence? I don’t think so.

Lord, I’ve come to expect these visits from You. I look for You to show Yourself and You have never failed or disappointed me. I certainly don’t feel I deserve them but, nonetheless, I thank You for all the Graces You give me. Amen.

©2014 Reflections of a Lay Catholic. Reposting and sharing of material in its full and original content is permitted, provided that full and clear credit is given to the author and Reflections of a Lay Catholic.

You Speak To Me

18 Thursday Sep 2014

Posted by Jerry Robinson in Bible Reflections, Discernment, Faith, Grace and Mercy, Prayer, Scripture

≈ 2 Comments

Tags

Faith, God-moments, Prayer

Listening to GodDo you ever talk to God? Does He speak to you when you pray for understanding? He certainly did for me over the last week.

I am fortunate.  I love my job….except for days like a week ago Monday when a new employee gave me his resignation. I had spent months trying to find a person with his skill set and potential. He was young and enthusiastic and I thought he would make a good employee. His reason for leaving was because he could not get along with the experienced employee under whom he had been assigned to train. In addition, he made several serious allegations about the behavior of the tenured employee, one of the hardest working and most dependable employees I have.

I spent the next two days preparing for individual meetings with them and HR. We would meet on Thursday and Friday. Much of our preparation was about disciplining the experienced employee. In business, at least in the world of corporate Human Relations, an employee who allegedly offends another employee is usually considered guilty until proven innocent. This is because, in the hierarchy of things, the offended employee’s perception matters more than the offender’s intent.

These situations require time and immense concentration. As such, it stole personal time away from my daily scripture reading and reflecting. Thus, when Wednesday night arrived, I desperately looked forward to the bi-weekly get-together of my men’s faith sharing group. The topic for the night was the Gospel from the previous Sunday, Matthew 18:15-20:

“(15) If your brother sins go and tell him his fault between you and him alone. If he listens to you, you have won over your brother. (16) If he does not listen, take one or two others along with you, so that ‘every fact may be established on the testimony of two or three witnesses.’”

I thought this passage fit my issue at hand and reaffirmed my decision to approach the accused employee and discuss his many ‘sins’. I planned to gather a couple witnesses who could corroborate the allegations, too.

Later that night I read the first reading from that same Sunday’s liturgy, Ezekiel 33:7-9:

“(8) When I say to the wicked, ‘You wicked, you must die,’ and you do not speak up to warn the wicked about their ways, they shall die in their sins, but I will hold you responsible for their blood. (9) If, however, you warn the wicked to turn from their ways, but they do not, then they shall die in their sins, but you shall save your life.”

I read this several times to let it sink in. I had an inkling God was trying to tell me that, as a leader, I have a little skin in the game. Before I convict an employee, I first need to give him a chance to defend himself, and coach and counsel him so that he can consider changing his behavior.

Continuing to catch up on other missed scripture readings from the week, I read Tuesday’s passage from 1 Corinthians 6:1-11:

“(2) Do you not know that the holy ones will judge the world? If the world is to be judged by you, are you unqualified for the lowest law courts?

This was getting interesting. I was, indeed, expected to wear the judge’s robe in this ‘case’. Was I judging fairly and acting as a judge should act? Or, was my mind already made up?

Thursday morning I awoke early and read the Gospel for the day from Luke 6:27-38:

“(31) Do to others as you would have them do to you. (35) … love your enemies and do good to them…. (36) Be merciful, just as your Father is merciful. (37) Stop judging and you will not be judged. Stop condemning and you will not be condemned. Forgive and you will be forgiven.”

For sure, God was speaking to me through this passage. Could I be open-minded and not convict until I had the facts? Shouldn’t I be hoping I would not find evidence of wrong-doing? Was I in a state of mind to be merciful? Would I be willing to give the employee a second chance if he was remorseful?

After reading the daily Bible scriptures, I normally read from my devotional of writings by St. Augustine. On this Thursday morning the passage was from his Letter 22, 5:

“Be assured that abuses are not done away with by harsh or severe or autocratic measures, but by teaching rather than by commanding, by persuasion rather than by threats. This is the way to deal with the people in general, reserving severity for the sins of the few.”

Okay, this was getting uncanny! God was driving his point home! He was reminding me to be kind and respectful to the experienced employee, instead of accusing and confrontational, and to paint a clear picture of my expectations for his behavior around other people.

That day the HR rep arrived and we interviewed the resigning employee. His allegations were serious. We corroborated parts of his story with others. We planned our strategy for the next day’s discussion with the ‘offender’.

On Friday morning I again woke early and read the daily Gospel from Luke 6:39-42:

“(41) Why do you notice the splinter in your brother’s eye but do not perceive the wooden beam in your own? (42)….You hypocrite! Remove the wooden beam from your eye first; then you will see clearly to remove the splinter in your brother’s eye.’”

Wow, this week was all about judgment! Smiling, I looked upward and said, “Okay, God, I get it. Thank you! For three days You have taken my hand and shown me the way.” I thought who among us hasn’t, at some time, behaved unprofessionally and been just a little ashamed? Don’t we appreciate a friendly warning, some sound advice and a second chance? And, could it be that I helped cause the employee’s behavior by overlooking a tell-tale sign or by overworking him?

We met with the employee on Friday. He was surprised about the allegations. He agreed his actions were, at times, less than professional, and explained that it was never his intent to offend anyone. There seemed to be some truth to each story. I let him know I would consider his responses and I would follow up with him in a few days. I also knew I would probably let this consume me and otherwise ruin my weekend.

On Friday afternoon I went to my regular Adoration hour where I frequently pray for God to help me understand what He has in store for me. Occasionally, I pick up on little things but too often I’m blind to them. Not this week. No, this week He left no doubt by telling me not to be too critical in my judgment, to be fair and respectful in my approach, and to be temperate with any discipline I may hand out. I thanked Him and prayed for the Grace to handle this according to His will.

On Saturday morning I read from another devotional, Jesus Calling. I had not read from it all week and missed its inspiration. After the “God-moments” of the last few days, I wasn’t surprised when I read the following passage for that day:

“Come to Me and rest. Give your mind a break from its habitual judging. You form judgments about this situation, that situation, this person, that person, yourself… as if judging were your main function in life….When you become preoccupied with passing judgment, you usurp My role.”

If this wasn’t the exclamation point at the end of His lesson for me, I don’t know what could be. I knew I could trust Him and I knew He will grace me with the wherewithal to do the right thing. All I have to do is listen and follow His lead.

“Dear God, thank You for being here, for speaking to me and counseling me when I need You most. Thank You for drawing me to You and helping me understand Your word. Thank You for Your persistence – You knew I needed it to convince me to trust in You.  Lord, I pray that I will honor You by exhibiting the Grace You have bestowed upon me. Amen.”

 

(The post You Speak To Me was first published in Reflections of a Lay Catholic)

You Keep My Attention

02 Saturday Aug 2014

Posted by Jerry Robinson in Christian Persecution, Eucharistic Adoration, Faith, Prayer

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Christian Persecution, Eucharistic Adoration, Faith, God-moments, Prayer

I came to see You today. As I knelt in front of You during my weekly holy hour of Adoration I looked up to You in the monstrance atop the tabernacle and I felt You descend and put Your arm around me. You knew my heart was heavy.

You asked me what was weighing me down. My answer to You surprised even me. It wasn’t a request to have You take care of and hold close to You my two daughters and the grandbabies they are carrying in their wombs.  I didn’t ask You to heal another loved one who is experiencing some unexplained health problems. Nor did I ask You to watch after my youngest daughter as she prepares to leave home and go to college later this week. No, those prayers came later.

I didn’t know why but I felt compelled to pray for and ask for Your blessings on the thousands of Christians about whom I have read are being persecuted in Syria, Iraq and elsewhere in the Middle East because they believe in You.

You prophesied, “If the world hates you, realize that it hated me first….If they persecuted me, they will also persecute you….And they will do all these things to you on account of my name, because they do not know the one who sent me.” (John 15: 18, 20-21, NAB)

Lord Jesus, I pray for Your blessings on those men, women and children who are being “persecuted for righteousness sake” and that You open up “the Kingdom of Heaven” (Matthew 5:10) to them as they profess their faith in You even under the threat of death. Please protect them, Lord, and give them the strength and courage to do Your will.

I confess to You I didn’t want to, but I did summon up the will to pray for the enemy, ISIS, as You commanded, “But I say to you, love your enemies, and pray for those who persecute you” (Matthew 5:44, NAB). That’s a tough one. I don’t feel loving towards them for even a second but I do wish them love and peace in their hearts. I think that’s what You mean.

Tonight at home, I read something in a Catholic publication and I suddenly understood why You made this prayer first and foremost in my heart and on my mind. Today, 1 August 2014, was declared by the Priestly Fraternity of St. Peter to be a worldwide day of Adoration and prayer for the persecuted Christians of Syria, Iraq and the Middle East. I didn’t know this when I was with You.

Lord, You play these tricks on me quite frequently. I’m so glad You do. You keep me guessing, and I know God-Moments like these are how

You keep my attention.

(The post You Keep My Attention was first published in Reflections of a Lay Catholic)

Opening the Door between Heaven and Earth

25 Friday Jul 2014

Posted by Jerry Robinson in Charity, Discernment, Love, Prayer

≈ 9 Comments

Tags

C.S. Lewis, Charity, Discernment, Jason Gray, Love, Prayer

I have spent most of the last six days decompressing from one of the most emotionally rewarding experiences of my life, and processing it so I can put it down on paper and relate it to you. Last Wednesday through Saturday I participated in our church’s bi-annual high school youth group Appalachian mission trip where we worked with Hand In Hand Ministries in Auxier, Kentucky.

During those four days I witnessed immense love and compassion for our fellow human beings. It wasn’t just one-way from our group to those whom we went to help. No, it also came from them to us, between the individuals within our own group, and between our group and other groups who were also there to volunteer. Having never been on a mission trip before, I will say my expectation was more along the lines of us giving “alms” to those in need with the exception that we would be giving of our talent and not just our treasure. How wrong I was! The kids and the Hand In Hand staff showed me that the love in true Christian charity, like C.S. Lewis describes in Mere Christianity, is more than just alms and more than an emotion. It is a demonstration of love for another, “A state not of the feelings but of the will.”

I am grateful to God for the experience. And I feel fortunate because the trip almost didn’t happen.

Two weeks before the group planned to depart, Mike, the group leader and parish Religious Director, experienced a personal injury that prevented him from going. As such, the entire trip was in jeopardy unless someone could be found to take his place. Since my daughter, Grace, was going, I was asked if I would go in Mike’s place. After praying about it, I agreed to go. I was excited about volunteering and participating in a new experience, about helping others, and working with our youth to provide them with a valuable life experience.

That optimism came to a screeching halt the next morning when Mike advised that two of the other adult chaperones, a married couple, had let him know they could not go. With only two chaperones left, Kelsea and I, the trip was once again in jeopardy. I saw two options: find two more people, a man and a woman, or cancel the trip. As I spoke to others about our seeming misfortune I heard warnings from them such as: “Well, there’s your sign!”, “You’re not meant to go on this trip”, and, “The good Lord’s sending you a message to not go”. As I listened to them, I began to believe they just might be right.

The next day I had an opportunity to spend an hour in prayer at Adoration. I prayed for help in discerning what to do – scuttle our plans or try to find two other chaperones to join us. As I prayed I became convinced that the setbacks were simply Satan throwing up obstacles testing our resolve to do God’s work. Deciding to move forward, I asked a friend to help me find two more people who were both qualified and willing to go. Fortunately, within a couple days we found two such people, Clay, a good friend of mine, and Becky, a veteran of several similar mission trips.

We met at the church for mass on Wednesday morning. The four of us sat with our five charges: Grace, Kathryn, Seth, Hannah and Tayla, and we received a blessing from our priest. The normal gospel reading for the day was replaced by the Judgment of the Nations passage from Matthew 25: 31-46 (NAB):

“(35) For I was hungry and you gave me food, I was thirsty and you gave me drink, a stranger and you welcomed me, (36) naked and you clothed me, ill and you cared for me, in prison and you visited me….(40) And the king will say to them in reply, ‘Amen, I say to you, whatever you did for one of these least brothers of mine, you did for me.’”

The deacon’s homily referred to Mother Theresa’s work with the poorest of the poor in Calcutta and was a fitting inspiration for us.

After mass, the kids hugged parents and we loaded up into two cars and set off on our four hour drive to Auxier. Along the way we stopped for lunch and took a goofy group picture, and detoured to Natural Bridge State Park for a hike up to its unique rock formation. Both were opportunities to have some fun and begin bonding as a group.

We arrived at the Hand In Hand Ministries Auxier Center on time and were greeted by their friendly staff: Gail, Kevin, and Andrew, and by three summer interns: Aniela, Freddie and Jeremy. We learned we would be sharing our volunteering experience with a dozen or so other adults and youths from the Louisville area and as far away as Arkansas. Gail explained to us the Center’s mission, and introduced us to the projects on which we would work over the next three days. She gave us some background on the people we would be helping. As Gail described the hardships faced by their clients, I began to see the wheels turning in the minds of our kids. They were trying to discern which cause they felt most passionate about and how they could help improve the lives of these people they had never met. Our group split between two projects and we were joined on them by some of the other volunteers.

 The whole group

The whole crew at Hand In Hand Auxier Center

Thursday morning found some of the kids being rousted from bed earlier than they had risen all summer, and we mustered for breakfast, packed lunches, said prayers, and loaded trucks with the tools and supplies we would need for the day. As we loaded up to drive to the clients’ homes, I could see the excitement in the kids’ eyes.

I joined Clay, Kelsea, Tayla, Seth, and others at a home where we would be removing walls and ceilings in a house and reinforcing deteriorated rafters for eventual roof replacement. Becky went with Grace, Kathryn and Hannah, and five others to a house to repair a porch and build a wheelchair ramp to the house. The third home, which we would not go to until Saturday, needed new exterior doors installed as the existing ones would not close. This old house, we learned, had, in the last couple weeks, just received its first electricity and water.

I don’t think anything could have prepared our kids for what they would find as they walked into each of these homes. The obvious poverty and poor living conditions were undeniably foreign to anything they had ever experienced. And, I was almost there with them. We had the opportunity to talk face-to-face with the home owners and learned they wanted nothing more than to have safe and healthy homes for their families. In those first few minutes after arriving, I began to sense a transformation taking place within all of us.

In observing the kids, and looking inward myself, I was reminded of the lyrics from a Jason Gray song, With Every Act Of Love1, wherein he sings of a man who can’t be bothered by a woman’s “heart-cry” written on a cardboard sign she is holding:

“….But when she looks him in the eye / His heart is broken open wide / And he feels the hand of God reach out through him / As heaven touches earth // Oh, we bring the Kingdom come / Oh, with every act of love / Jesus, help us carry You / Alive in us Your light shines through.”

There’s no doubt our hearts were broken open wide during those first few moments. And, over the course of the next two and a half days, I saw and felt the hand of God reach out through me and the other volunteers, bringing heaven to earth, and His Kingdom come with every act of love.

I saw high-schoolers who probably haven’t cleaned their rooms in months jump in and move the homeowner’s personal belongings out of the house so that demolition could begin and do it with care and respect. These same kids, who more than likely complain about washing dishes or mowing the yard, donned Tyvek suits, dust masks, and safety glasses, grabbed crow bars and commenced busting out ceiling drywall with enthusiasm.

 Seiler, Kelsea, & TaylaSuited up for demolition work

I saw compassion by volunteers who took the time to visit with and get to know the homeowners, and who honored the homeowner’s desire to participate in the renovation of their own residence.

Kids took pride in their work, from cutting a straight line in drywall to hammering tacks perfectly straight and spaced to fasten anti-slip treads on a wheelchair ramp.

There were some kids who were less outgoing than others but were invited into the extra-curricular activities in the evenings by the other kids. It was like there was some unwritten and unspoken morality which everyone knew and honored by ensuring nobody was left out.

I saw kids with more skill and experience watching out for those with less ability and helping them to learn and perform. Never did I see anyone suggest that “this is my job and that is yours”. I witnessed volunteers relieving sweaty and dirty workers so they could grab a bottle of water and cool off without the work stopping. I saw eager teamwork in action by people who had only known each other for a few hours.

Grace w circ saw

Learning to use a circular saw

I saw kids cleaning up their messes, shoveling sheetrock and sweeping up dust before they left at night because it was the right thing to do.

Even in the midst of living conditions to which most people would turn up their noses, our kids were always positive and encouraging, always trying to build up instead of belittling. They made me proud to be associated with them.

We went to the Thursday evening Front Porch Pickin’ at the US23 Music Highway Museum to listen and dance to some of the best Bluegrass music to be found. While there, I saw kids honor the dance requests of the elderly locals who come to this event every Thursday night to clog and two-step the night away and have fun, kids from the different volunteer groups ask each other to dance, and I saw the experienced college-student interns request the pleasure of a dance from the wallflowers in the group to ensure that nobody was left out. Even I danced!

Clogging at FPP2Grace and Andrew dancing at FPP2

Clogging and two-stepping at Front Porch Pickin’

I saw pure love in action when a young woman donated her personal spending money to purchase an electric table lamp and present it in person to the couple who had just had electricity installed in their house.

I saw “kids” from 14 to 74, most of whom were strangers when we arrived on Wednesday, engage in work and play like they were life-long family. By the time the week was over, “family” was the best way to describe us.

I saw humility that would make Jesus proud when we went around the room on Saturday morning reflecting on the highs and lows of the week. I witnessed strong men break down and cry and younger kids comfortably and perfectly articulate their emotions in front of a large group.

And, I heard our kids discussing and dreaming about returning next year and possibly being summer interns themselves.

By mid-day Saturday, when it was time to leave, nobody wanted to go. But, after tearful hugs and long goodbyes, we packed up and headed home. I know many lasting friendships were made during those four days, and each of us left transformed, fulfilled, and richer than when we arrived.

Goodbye 1

Final goodbyes

On the way home I reflected on how we almost cancelled the trip and how our group of nine almost missed these life changing experiences. I couldn’t help but think that in spite of Satan’s attempt to thwart our desire to do as Jesus would have us do, we won this game. Walking Hand In Hand with God, we shut out the Devil nine to nothing.

As I was writing this I was listening to the song, With Every Act Of Love, again. Between the second verse and the refrain there is a bridge that sums up the main take-away for me from this trip. It goes:

“God put a million, million doors in this world for His love to walk through / One of those doors is you.”

I hope this experience helped all of us see ourselves as beautifully painted and architecturally perfect portals through which the hand of God can bring heaven to earth.

(Note: Out of respect for Hand In Hand’s clients at whose homes we worked, I chose not to include any photographs of the worksites.)

1With Every Act Of Love, words and music by Jason Gray and Jason Ingram, © 2013 Centricity Music Publishing, Nothing Is Wasted Music (ASCAP) / Sony-ATV Timber Publishing, Open Hands Music (SESAC).

(The post, Opening the Door between Heaven and Earth, was first published in Reflections of a Lay Catholic)

My Time Is Not God’s Time

05 Saturday Jul 2014

Posted by Jerry Robinson in Hope, Love, Prayer

≈ 4 Comments

Tags

Charity, God-moments, Love, Miracles, Prayer

It was one year ago today that I began a 2,600 mile, four day solo drive from Cincinnati, Ohio to Seattle, Washington during which I posted daily how God had shown Himself to me in one form or another. Last Saturday I set out again for another long drive for this year’s summer vacation. This trip was a 1,286 mile drive to Ingram, Texas, which is a little over an hour northwest of San Antonio, for a family reunion.

Unlike last year’s trek, I was joined this time by my daughter, Grace. My wife had gone on ahead by flying to Louisiana and then driving to Texas with another daughter. I always look forward to road trips and one of the things I was most looking forward to on this trip was being captive for twenty hours in the same space as Grace. I’m sure, at age 17, she wasn’t quite as enamored with the idea as I was. She will be leaving for college in a few short weeks and this would probably be our last chance to spend any real quality time together.

The level of conversation in the car often depends upon who has control of the stereo. Wanting to make this a pleasurable trip for both of us I relinquished control even though I was driving. This meant I had to listen to a few hours of Bruno Mars, John Mayer and Josh Groban. Pretending to like most of the songs was a small price to pay for this bonding opportunity.

Our plan upon leaving home on Saturday morning was to drive as far as Dallas via Louisville, Nashville, Memphis, and Little Rock. But, before we even arrived in Nashville, I could tell from watching my car’s GPS that our ETA in Dallas was steadily getting later and later because of the delays due to highway construction and heavy rains. By the time we were leaving Nashville I decided to make a hotel reservation in Mt. Pleasant, Texas, about two hours east of Dallas. My GPS said we could arrive at 11:30 p.m. I had already lost two hours during a six hour trip.

We came to another full stop on I-40 east of Jackson, Tennessee for more construction. We crawled along for about ten minutes when we came upon an accident. A Jeep Wrangler had collided with the rear end of a semi-trailer, and a PT Cruiser was bent in half leaning against a highway sign at the bottom of the embankment off the shoulder of the road. The driver of the Jeep was still in his vehicle and a young woman was sitting on the edge of the shoulder in front of the semi tractor. I saw one other person standing around talking on his cell phone.

Car 1

Car 2

Grace was driving so I asked her to pull over. I retrieved my first aid and blood borne pathogens kit from my car (I had just received Medic First Aid/BBP refresher training the Tuesday before and thought it would be a good idea to carry a kit on this trip) and donned the latex gloves. I walked to the girl sitting on the ground and asked about her condition. She was holding a towel to her chin in an effort to stem the bleeding from a cut she had received when her PT Cruiser had rolled down the embankment. She said she had movement of her limbs, head and torso and, other than the cut, was just shaken up. Telling her I would be back in a moment I went to see about the man in the Jeep.

On my way to check on the driver of the Jeep I met the other man who had stopped. He said he had activated EMS but otherwise didn’t know what to do. I then discovered another man who had stopped but who also didn’t know any first aid procedures. I went to the Jeep and found the young man coherent. He also said he could move his torso, neck and head but that he thought he had a broken leg because he was trapped in the vehicle. Upon inspection, he was indeed trapped and would have to be cut out of the vehicle.

As I was talking to the young man another man stopped and came up to me and asked if I was a medical professional. I replied I was not and he said he was a nurse. I asked him to take over here and I would go back to the driver of the other car.

When I walked back to the young woman, another woman walked up and said she was a nurse and, after relaying what I could tell of the injuries, I asked her to take over with this patient. I asked the young woman what had happened. She said she was stopped behind the semi and she saw that the vehicle behind her didn’t appear as if it was going to stop so she tried to move over onto the shoulder.   The Jeep slammed into the rear of her car and forced her down the embankment and caused her car to roll over. The Jeep then slammed into the rear of the semi-trailer.

It was obvious that her defensive driving tactic of looking in her rear view mirror had saved her life. Had she not made an attempt to move to the right onto the shoulder the Jeep would have pushed her car under the trailer and she could have easily been crushed and decapitated.

As she related the incident she began to cry. With medical professionals on-site and the EMS on its way, I decided there wasn’t much else for me to do. But, then I thought there might be one more thing I could do. I asked the young woman what her name was and she said it was Julia. I said to Julia that I didn’t know if she was a religious person but I would be happy to pray with her if she would like. She looked me in the eye and said, “Please do!”

As I knelt, I took her hand and I prayed for God to hold her close to Him, to heal her wounds, both physical and emotional, as well as those of the other driver, and l gave thanks for saving her from injuries worse than she actually received. When I finished praying she had stopped crying, smiled and thanked me. As I walked back to my car I heard the sirens of the emergency vehicles approaching.

Grace and I resumed our trip. We stopped in Jackson, Tennessee for reconciliation and mass at St. Mary’s Catholic Church. We got stuck in more severe weather and more construction delays. She conceded and we listened to some ‘70s music from Jimmy Buffet, Jerry Jeff Walker and Marshall Tucker Band. We arrived at our hotel at 2:30 a.m., three hours later than expected. What should have been a 13.5 hour drive turned into 18.5 hours.

As my head hit the pillow I remembered my prayers. I thanked God for delivering us safely but I wished we had not had so many delays. I prayed for the two injured young people from earlier in the day and I gave thanks for the opportunity to spend quality time with Grace. And then, the God-moment came to me. I believe now that the delays we had both prior to and after coming upon that accident were two-fold and were meant to be. Even though I may not have been able to do anything to help with their injuries, maybe, just maybe, I was able to be of help spiritually to Julia. Perhaps it was God’s plan for me to be there at that moment in time not to attend to injuries of the body but to strengthen a spirit. And, perhaps God knew that Grace and I needed an extra five hours of togetherness.

“Heavenly Father, I give you thanks for allowing me to be an instrument of your love and to spread your love through charity to others. Thank you for the opportunities you give me to build loving relationships with my family and friends and new acquaintances. Amen.”

(The post My Time Is Not God’s Time was first published in Reflections of a Lay Catholic)

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