Tag Archives: Faith

From the Archives: I Thirst For You

05 Tuesday Sep 2017

Posted by in Faith, Grace, Hope, Love

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Today, 5 September 2017, is the Memorial of Saint Teresa of Calcutta and it marks the 20th anniversary of her death.

When I wrote the following post two years ago yesterday, I didn’t know I was writing it on the eve of the anniversary of her death.  Nor did I know that Blessed Teresa of Calcutta would become Saint Teresa of Calcutta exactly one year later.

No, I wrote it simply because I was deeply moved by the meditation, I Thirst For You, which is attributed to Saint Teresa.  The meditation still moves me today and is one I fall back on when I’m feeling the need to be lifted up.  I hope it lifts you up as it does me.

Peace be with you.

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I Thirst For You (reprinted from 4 September 2015)

Every now and then something comes along that is so special you can’t get it out of your mind. You keep revisiting it and replaying it. And, each time you do, you find one more nugget of inspiration that convinces you to repeat the process again.

Such has been my case ever since a friend shared a special meditation with our men’s faith sharing group a couple years ago. The meditation is titled, I Thirst For You, and its authorship is attributed to Blessed Mother Teresa. My friend read it to our group, in his baritone voice, slowly and with immense feeling. I closed my eyes and visualized as if Jesus was the One actually speaking to me. I was blown away. I could feel His love flowing over me.

Since that evening I have heard my friend read it a couple more times and I still get goose bumps. I have read it many times since, both to myself and to others, and each time I seem to focus on and ruminate over a new word or phrase that jumps out at me. I always find something new that brings me joy.

I read it again tonight and I thought back to that first time I heard it. I remembered how none of the six or seven of us men had ever heard the meditation before then, and I wondered how many other faithful Catholics have never heard it, either. It ought to be on the reading list of every Catholic. No, actually, it ought to be on the reading list of every Christian, not just Catholics. So, I decided to post it here on this blog and share it with all readers. I hope you get goose bumps, too.

Hint: Read this slowly and with feeling. When a word or phrase grabs your attention, take a moment to reflect on what it is Christ is trying to tell you at that moment. Then, I encourage you to share this with others and ask someone else to read it to you while you listen with your eyes closed and soak up its message. You won’t regret it. Let me know what you think.

God Bless.

I THIRST FOR YOU

“Behold, I stand at the door and knock…” (Rev.3:20)

It is true. I stand at the door of your heart, day and night. Even when you are not listening, even when you doubt it could be Me, I am there. I await even the smallest sign of your response, even the least whispered invitation that will allow Me to enter.

And I want you to know that whenever you invite Me, I do come – always, without fail. Silent and unseen I come, but with infinite power and love, and bringing the many gifts of My spirit. I come with My mercy, with My desire to forgive and heal you and with a love for you beyond your comprehension – a love every bit as great as the love I have received from the Father (“As much as the Father has loved me, I have loved you…”[John.15:9]). I come – longing to console you and give you strength, to lift you up and bind all your wounds. I bring you My light, to dispel your darkness and all your doubts. I come with My power, that I might carry you and all of your burdens; with My grace, to touch your heart and transform your life; and My peace I give to still your soul.

I know you through and through. I know everything about you. The very hairs of your head I have numbered. Nothing in your life is unimportant to Me. I have followed you through the years, and I have always loved you – even in your wanderings. I know everyone of your problems. I know your needs and your worries. And yes, I know all your sins. But I tell you again that I love you – not for what you have or haven’t done – I love you for you, for the beauty and dignity My Father gave you by creating you in His own image. It is a dignity you have often forgotten, a beauty you have tarnished by sin. But I love you as you are, and I have shed My Blood to win you back. If you only ask Me with faith, My grace will touch all that needs changing in your life, and I will give you the strength to free yourself from sin and all its destructive power.

I know what is in your heart – I know your loneliness and all your hurts – the rejections, the judgments, the humiliations. I carried it all before you. And I carried it all for you, so you might share My strength and victory. I know especially your need for love – how you are thirsting to be loved and cherished. But how often have you thirsted in vain, by seeking that love selfishly, striving to fill the emptiness inside you with passing pleasures – with the even greater emptiness of sin. Do you thirst for love? “Come to Me all of you who thirst…”(John 7:37). I will satisfy you and fill you. Do you thirst to be cherished? I cherish you more than you can imagine – to the point of dying on a cross for you.

I thirst for you. Yes, that is the only way to even begin to describe My love for you: I THIRST FOR YOU. I thirst to love you and to be loved by you – that is how precious you are to Me. I THIRST FOR YOU. Come to Me and I will fill your heart and heal your wounds. I will make you a new creation and give you peace, even in all your trials. I THIRST FOR YOU. You must never doubt My mercy, My acceptance of you, My desire to forgive, My longing to bless you and live My life in you. I THIRST FOR YOU. If you feel unimportant in the eyes of the world, that matters not at all. For Me, there is no one any more important in the entire world than you. I THIRST FOR YOU. Open to Me, come to Me, thirst for Me, give Me your life – and I will prove to you how important you are to My Heart.

Don’t you realize that My Father already has a perfect plan to transform your life, beginning from this moment? Trust in Me. Ask Me every day to enter and take charge of your life – and I will. I promise you before My father in heaven that I will work miracles in your life. Why would I do this? Because I THIRST FOR YOU. All I ask of you is that you entrust yourself to Me completely. I will do all the rest.

Even now I behold the place My Father has prepared for you in My kingdom. Remember that you are a pilgrim in this life, on a journey home. Sin can never satisfy you or bring the peace you seek. All that you have sought outside of Me has only left you more empty, so do not cling to the things of this life. Above all, do not run from Me when you fall. Come to Me without delay. When you give Me your sins, you give Me the joy of being your Savior. There is nothing I cannot forgive and heal, so come now and unburden your soul.

No matter how far you may wander, no matter how often you forget Me, no matter how many crosses you may bear in this life, there is one thing I want you to always remember, one thing that will never change: I THIRST FOR YOU – just as you are. You don’t need to change to believe in My love, for it will be your belief in My love that will change you. You forget Me, and yet I am seeking you every moment of the day – standing at the door of your heart and knocking. Do you find this hard to believe? Then look at the cross, look at My Heart that was pierced for you. Have you not understood My cross? Then listen again to the words I spoke there – for they tell you clearly why I endured all this for you: ”I THIRST….”(John 19:28). Yes, I thirst for you – as the rest of the psalm – verse I was praying says of Me: “I looked for love, and I found none…”(Ps 69:20). All your life I have been looking for your love – I have never stopped seeking to love you and be loved by you. You have tried many other things in your search for happiness; why not try opening your heart to Me, right now, more than you ever have before.

Whenever you do open the door of your heart, whenever you come close enough, you will hear Me say to you again and again, not in mere human words but in spirit: “No matter what you have done, I love you for your own sake. Come to Me with your misery and your sins, with your troubles and needs, and with all your longing to be loved. I stand at the door of you heart and knock…Open to ME, for I THIRST FOR YOU…”

“Jesus is God, therefore His love, His thirst is infinite. He, the creator of the universe, asked for the love of His creatures. He thirsts for our love….These words: ‘I thirst’ – do they echo in our souls?” – Mother Teresa

(The introduction to I Thirst For You was first published on the blog Reflections of a Lay Catholic, 4 September 2015.  The Post, From the Archives:  I Thirst For You, was first published on the blog Reflections of a Lay Catholic on 5 September 2017.)

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©2013-2017 Reflections of a Lay Catholic. Reposting and sharing of material in its full and original content is permitted, provided that full and clear credit is given to the author(s) and Reflections of a Lay Catholic.

Thoughts on the Total Solar Eclipse

21 Monday Aug 2017

Posted by in Bible Reflections, Faith, Scripture

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Solar_eclipse_22_July_2009_taken_by_Lutfar_Rahman_Nirjhar_from_BangladeshToday’s the day the scientific community and millions of regular folks across America have been waiting for: the total solar eclipse. The last one to occur was in 1979, and prior to that, the last to be visible from the contiguous 48 states was in 1918.

From my perch here in southwest Ohio, the eclipse is supposed to begin at 1:02 p.m., peak at 2:28:41 p.m., and end at 3:52 p.m. – almost three hours. The sky is clear and we should see a 90% eclipse.

I don’t have any special dark glasses with which to look at the eclipse, nor did I make a pinhole viewer from a shoe box. I’m just sitting here on my front porch waiting to see it get dark in the middle of the day.

Waiting to see if anything special happens when the moon blocks out the sun.

I recall a story of an eclipse which happened about 2,000 years ago that also lasted about three hours.

“It was now about noon and darkness came over the whole land until three in the afternoon because of an eclipse of the sun. Then the veil of the temple was torn down the middle” (Lk 23:44-45).

It occurred in Jerusalem as Jesus was dying on the cross – a death demanded by the self-righteous of the time, most notably the Jewish scholars and priests who were blinded by their man-made beliefs to which they were attached and who refused to accept that God had finally sent their Messiah, the Son of Man, as He promised.

Their beliefs blocked out the “Son”.

I recall this morning’s Scripture passages:

“The children of Israel offended the Lord by serving the Baals. Abandoning the Lord, the God of their fathers, who led them out of the land of Egypt, they follow the other gods of the various nations around them, and by their worship of these gods provoked the Lord.” (Judges 2:11-12)

“They served their idols, which became a snare for them. They sacrificed their sons and their daughters to demons.” (Psalms 106: 36-37)

“Jesus said to him, ‘If you wish to be perfect, go, sell what you have and give to the poor, and you will have treasure in heaven. Then come, follow me.’ When the young man heard this statement, he went away sad, for he had many possessions.” (Matthew 19:21-22)

Each of these passages spoke to me about how our society often puts other things ahead of God and His Son, Jesus, making it easy to turn away from Them. These other things, our “possessions”, our attachments, are the habits and “important” stuff we can’t turn loose of. They’re those things that keep us from focusing on, and spending time with, our Lord.

They, too, block out the “Son”.

One has to wonder if the Church picked these passages specially for today. But, I know they didn’t. I also know it’s not just coincidence. This is the way God works.

Perhaps, then, today, the day the moon eclipsed the sun, would be a good day to think about what things we allow in our lives to eclipse the “Son”, and what it will take to turn loose of them.

“Heavenly Father, I give you thanks for Your great glory. Thank You for this world in which we live with all its wonders – Your Wonders. Thank You especially for the greatest Wonder of all, Your Son, Jesus. Holy Spirit, help me to turn loose of my unnecessary worldly attachments so that I may grow closer to Christ. Amen.”

(Thoughts on the Total Solar Eclipse was first published on the blog Reflections of a Lay Catholic)

©2013-2017 Reflections of a Lay Catholic. Reposting and sharing of material in its full and original content is permitted, provided that full and clear credit is given to the author(s) and Reflections of a Lay Catholic.Thout

You Reap What You Sow

24 Monday Jul 2017

Posted by in Bible Reflections, Discernment, Faith

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Sunday morning’s Gospel, Matthew 13:24-43, was the parable about the weeds being sown with the wheat. As I made my morning prayers, I asked what message God was trying to send me. I came up with an answer in short order and then readied myself to go to mass.

Come to find out, our priest’s interpretation of that passage of scripture was no where near what I came up with. Not even on the same continent. His was philosophically much deeper and, of course, right on the money. The only thing his and mine had in common were the words reaping and sowing.

Turns out that my take is more from Galatians 6:7.  Oh, well.

Since I was a child I’ve heard the adage, “You reap what you sow”. When I hear it, it’s usually with a negative connotation. Frequently, someone discovers, in hindsight, that they screwed up. They’re ruing about a choice they made sometime way back in the past that has resulted in unfortunate circumstances for them. Too often, the regret is over a relationship with another – a matter of the heart.

I usually hear, “If only….” somewhere in there.

Sometimes it’s me speaking those words.

But, my epiphany from this reflection was, “Why can’t it be the other way around?” Why can’t I, instead of regretting the seeds I’ve already sown, focus on the reaping before I sow them?

Why don’t I learn to ask, “What do I need to do now in order to reap what I desire later on?” Why don’t I have that foresight?

Then, I had an epiphany on top of my epiphany. In thinking about that last question, I realized there were too many “I’s” in there. And, that’s the problem.

What I need to do is ask God what the right thing to do is; pay attention and listen to Him; and then do it. Forget about the reaping and trust that there will be a harvest. That which I eventually reap, whether it’s what I desire or a surprise, will be His gift to me for sowing the right seeds.

“Loving and Gracious God, I give you thanks for the bountiful harvest of blessings you’ve bestowed on me. Please help me to discern your will, to sow the good seeds, in the decisions I make, and then trust in You for the harvest. Amen.”

(You Reap What You Sow was first published on the blog Reflections of a Lay Catholic)

©2013-2017 Reflections of a Lay Catholic. Reposting and sharing of material in its full and original content is permitted, provided that full and clear credit is given to the author(s) and Reflections of a Lay Catholic.

Take Up Your Cross

18 Tuesday Jul 2017

Posted by in Bible, Bible Reflections, Faith, Hope

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Take Up Your Cross pic

“…and whoever does not take up his cross and follow after me is not worthy of me.” – Mt 10:38

As I read this passage from this morning’s (Monday’s) Gospel I asked myself the questions, “What does Jesus mean by ‘take up your cross’?”, and, “What is my cross?”. It was like deja vu. I’ve asked myself those two questions a gazillion times and never took the time to reflect upon them.  But, this time the last four words of that verse, “is not worthy of me”, jumped out at me and I decided I really ought to know the answers.

I’ve been thinking about this most of the day.  Here’s what my simple brain came up with:

In the first sense, the cross is a sign of suffering. It’s where Jesus suffered and died and it’s where many were crucified by the Romans before and after Him. Our “cross” is that which causes us to suffer.

We all suffer in some way. It may come in the form of real physical or emotional pain. Perhaps our suffering is a physical handicap, the loss of a loved one, the experience of an injustice, or the loss of a job and the inability to make ends meet.

Or, maybe, our suffering is one of inconvenience – the perceived pain of not getting our way, of being “put out” by circumstances beyond our control.

By “taking up our cross”, I think Jesus is telling us in a round-about way that, no matter what our suffering is, we need to deal with it. Life isn’t a bowl of cherries. In this life there will always be a certain amount of suffering. Not until we find ourselves in heaven will we live a peaceful and painless eternity.

Taking up our cross, then, means to accept that which causes us to suffer. It means we need to take ownership and, in doing so, we need to accept our suffering without complaining, moaning and groaning. But, I think there are two kinds of complaining.

The first, the good complaining, is like groaning that your legs hurt after you’ve just completed the fastest mile you’ve ever run. It’s a hurt that is expected, and one you’re glad to experience because it means you’ve grown/advanced/improved. It’s a hurt for which you’re grateful. There’s no cross to be taken up in this case.

The second, the bad kind of complaining, is when we express our misery because of an unfortunate circumstance: we couldn’t get our grass mowed this week because it rained and then our lawn mower wouldn’t start. The irony is that, if we think about it, we should be grateful for the time we have, while we’re not mowing the lawn, to do other things, like improving relationships, that often get pushed to the back burner. In this regard, I think about the verse from 1 Thessalonians 5:18, “In all circumstances give thanks, for this is the will of God for you in Jesus Christ.” By doing this, we’re elevating the circumstance to the first level, the good complaint.

With respect to this second type of complaining, taking up our cross is not making another person, intentionally or unintentionally, feel bad because of our situation. This is where taking ownership comes into play. It’s ours and we can’t make it someone else’s. Asking someone to pray for us and hoping for their compassion is fine. But, expecting someone to commiserate with us and personally feel bad over our personal issue isn’t part of taking up our cross.

On the other hand, there is one person whom we can ask to bear our suffering with us – Jesus. He tells us throughout the Gospels that He is there for us, that we can trust in and turn our troubles over to Him. He will make our burdens light.

Taking up our cross means that, in accepting our circumstances, we realize it is in the past, it’s behind us, and we can’t do anything about what’s already happened. We need to let it die.

It’s now that the second meaning of taking up our cross and following after Jesus comes into play. After we’ve let that which causes our suffering to die, we need to start living again. That’s when we not only take up our cross but we begin to follow after Jesus. It’s a resurrection for us.

Jesus died and, upon His resurrection, went to a better place. By taking up our cross and following Him, we, too, can find a kind of resurrection, a better place. We begin to open ourselves up to finding joy in the every day gifts which God provides. In opening up, we begin to accept His love for us, a love that is independent of our circumstances. Then, ultimately, our resurrection is complete when we begin to love others unselfishly in spite of our personal suffering. In fact, we no longer view it as suffering but, instead, as a unique gift.

You know what? I’m not going to expound on what my cross is. That’s because I can see that I have many crosses to bear. After going through this exercise, I realize my crosses can be different from one day to the next, or even one hour to the next. Some crosses are heavier than others. Some I accept quicker than others. I think the important thing is that I have figured this out for myself and can begin to see my suffering, both the real and the inconvenient, as crosses to bear.

And, I resolve to pray to our Lord, Jesus, for His help in lightening the load of each of those crosses.

Won’t you take some time to think about your crosses and how you take them up in following Him?

“Lord Jesus, I know that You know that I know what my crosses are. And, I know that You’re just waiting for me to turn to You, to place my trust in You to lighten my load. I know You will because You have so many times before. I pray for an increase in faith that it is Your will that is done, not mine. Lord, thank You for all your many blessings, even those which I didn’t recognize as blessings at the time. Amen.”

(Take Up Your Cross was first published on the blog Reflections of a Lay Catholic)
©2013-2017 Reflections of a Lay Catholic. Reposting and sharing of material in its full and original content is permitted, provided that full and clear credit is given to the author(s) and Reflections of a Lay Catholic.

Who Do You Say That I Am?

30 Friday Jun 2017

Posted by in Bible Reflections, Faith, Prayer, Scripture

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Who Do You Say I am Pic“Who do you say that I am?” That’s the question Jesus asked the Apostles in yesterday’s Gospel (Mt 16:13-19). As I reflected on what God’s Word was saying to me in this passage, I made a resolution to articulate my own answer and understand its weight.

Fundamentally, that is the question Jesus asks all of us. Who do we say that He is?

A few short years ago, in the infancy of my faith formation, a friend read to me a passage from C. S. Lewis’ Mere Christianity.  It profoundly opened my mind:

“I am trying here to prevent anyone saying the really foolish thing that people often say about Him: ‘I’m ready to accept Jesus as a great moral teacher, but I don’t accept His claim to be God.’ That is the one thing we must not say. A man who was merely a man and said the sort of things Jesus said would not be a great moral teacher. He would either be a lunatic…or else he would be the Devil of Hell. You must make your choice (emphasis added). Either this man was, and is, the Son of God; or else a madman or something worse….But let us not come with any patronizing nonsense about His being a great human teacher. He has not left that open to us. He did not intend to.”

“You must make your choice.” Author Matthew Kelly explains in The Jesus Question, “not making a choice is making a choice.” There’s no in-between.

So, who do I say that Jesus is? To begin, I have to mimic Simon, soon to be named Peter, when he answered collectively for the Apostles: “You are the Christ, the Son of the living God.”

Jesus is God made man, the second person of the Trinity. He came into this world to suffer and die for me (and you), to offer me salvation for my sins, to give me a fresh start and the opportunity to live with Him in heaven for all of eternity.

Jesus is my Guiding Light, my North Star. He shows me the path I need to take in this earthly life to find my way to God, a God whose love for me is never ending and Who, after creating me, desires that I return to Him.

After Simon answered Jesus, Jesus replied, “Blessed are you, Simon son of Jonah. For flesh and blood has not revealed this to you, but my heavenly Father.” I can relate to that.

The Heavenly Father offered His gift of faith to me in a manner I could neither ignore nor refuse, and, through it, revealed to me His love manifested in His Son, Jesus. It was a no-brainer that happened in a nanosecond. There was no learning involved and no teaching required from others to make me believe. It was after my conversion that other men and women, true “flesh and blood”, began teaching me about this thing called Christianity. And, it was only because I had accepted God’s gift of faith that I was able to accept the full revelation of what I was learning.

My faith formation has progressed such that I no longer have to rely on others to show me the way, although I still learn from them daily. I have found a better way – a way that isn’t just about learning, but about building a relationship with God. It’s called prayer. By talking to God through my verbal prayer, and by listening to God through mental prayer and meditating on the Sacred Scriptures, He and I are building an intimate relationship where He reveals Himself to me and I, by revealing myself to him, learn about myself that which He already knows.

It’s a beautiful thing!

When was the last time you stopped to answer Jesus’ question of you, “Who do you say that I am?” Maybe it’s time.

“Heavenly Father, I love and worship You. I give You thanks for Your Grace which has bent my free will towards you. Thank you, Jesus, for leading me to the Father. Thank you, Holy Spirit, for opening my mind and heart to the Word of God that continues to transform my life. Amen.”

(Who Do You Say That I Am? was first published on the blog Reflections of a Lay Catholic)
©2013-2017 Reflections of a Lay Catholic. Reposting and sharing of material in its full and original content is permitted, provided that full and clear credit is given to the author(s) and Reflections of a Lay Catholic.

Do You Love Me?

04 Sunday Jun 2017

Posted by in Bible Reflections, Faith, Grace and Mercy

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It’s Sunday morning and I’m still ruminating over Friday’s Gospel (John 21:15-19) and what it said to me. It hit me so profoundly that I wanted to let the message sink in so I will never forget it.

When Jesus appeared to the Eleven the third time after being raised from the dead, He ate a breakfast of bread and fish with them. Right afterwards, He pulled Simon Peter aside and asked, “Simon, son of John, do you love me?” He didn’t ask only once. No, He asked three times. And, I think, by doing so, Jesus gave Peter the opportunity to redeem himself for having denied Jesus three times before His death. I’m sure that is what was on Peter’s mind as he answered, “Yes, Lord, You know that I love You.”

But, I don’t think Jesus was trying to rub it in. He wasn’t concerned about the depth of Peter’s love for Him, rather, he was looking for commitment from the one He was appointing to lead His church.

Commitment. That’s what He asks of me, too.

It’s taken two days for that to sink in. Jesus asks me in every waking moment, “Jerry, do you love Me?” Especially every time I am on the verge of sinning. I realize now that, at those times when I’m aware of the sin I am committing, my cognizance is actually Jesus asking me, “Do you love Me?” I’m ashamed that, by my actions, I all too often respond otherwise.

Jesus asks of us only two main things to be Holy: to love God, and to love our neighbors. Every sin contradicts one or both of those commandments. Each time an action, a spoken word, or a disrespectful thought, which damages a relationship with another person, damages my relationship with the Lord. That’s not conducive to getting me to heaven.

“Jesus, You know that I love You. I resolve today to make that evident in all that I do. I know I need the help of Your Sanctifying Grace to override my occasional wavering commitment. And, when I fail, as I will, I need Your loving Mercy and Actual Grace to let me try again. Amen.”

(Do You Love Me? was first published on the blog Reflections of a Lay Catholic)
©2013-2017 Reflections of a Lay Catholic. Reposting and sharing of material in its full and original content is permitted, provided that full and clear credit is given to the author(s) and Reflections of a Lay Catholic.

You Are Mine

23 Tuesday May 2017

Posted by in Bible Reflections, Confirmation, Fear

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I’ve been trying to improve my prayer life by making more time to read sacred scripture and meditate on what the Word of God is trying to tell me in relation to my life. I have to admit there are many days when, no matter how hard I try, I simply cannot make a connection. But, at other times, His message is loud and clear. Or, at least, I think it is.

Such was the case this last Sunday. The Gospel reading was from John 14:15-21, regarding the “Advocate”, the Holy Spirit:

“And I will ask the Father, and He will give you another Advocate to be with you always, the Spirit of truth, which the world cannot accept because it neither sees nor knows it. But, you know it, because it remains with you, and will be in you….On that day you will realize that I am in my Father and you are in me and I in you.”

As I listened to this, I thought, “This is one of the problems in our faith today. People forget that Jesus is with us always by the Holy Spirit that He placed within us. It’s like we forget the whole point of our Sacrament of Confirmation. We remember the meaning of Baptism, we experience Communion every week, and, we are reminded, reluctantly for many, of the Sacrament of Reconciliation. But, we forget that the Holy Spirit was poured out upon us at our Confirmation. Imagine the difference we could make if we only remembered this!”

A few minutes later, I joined the congregation of the Holy Family Catholic Church in Shell Knob, Missouri in singing one of my favorite hymns, You Are Mine.  The first verse and refrain simply reinforced my earlier thought:

“I will come to you in the silence, I will lift you from all your fears,
“You will hear my voice, I claim you as my choice,
“Be still and know I am here.
“Do not be afraid, I am with you. I have called you each by name.
“Come and follow me, I will bring you home, 
“I love you and you are mine.”

Fast forward to last night, Monday evening. I arrived in Kansas City, Kansas to attend my first, in-residence week of formation, study and practice in the Spiritual Mentorship Program offered by the Apostles of the Interior Life, and the School of Faith of the Archdiocese of Kansas City. I’ve been studying for and looking forward to this week since January. As I knelt in the chapel after night prayers, I felt my nervousness grow. I was afraid – afraid that I won’t have what it takes to become a good spiritual mentor, and afraid that my faith was too new and poorly grounded. I feared not being able to remember everything I will need to remember, and, consequently, be inadequate in the example I set for others.

I prayed for God to open my mind and my heart to what I will be learning this week. I prayed that my detailed and analytical mind won’t blind me from understanding the concepts which will be presented (not seeing the forest for the trees has always been a struggle for me). And, I prayed for the ability to internalize the message so that I will easily be able to relate it to others. I simply prayed, “God, help me do this!”

As I took a breather from my verbal prayer, I became distracted and lost my train of thought. Normally, I get frustrated with distractions while I pray, but this time the distraction – the tune for You Are Mine that was running through my head – was a blessing. As I tried to remember the words to the song, not only it but the Gospel and my thoughts about it from Sunday’s mass came flooding back to me. And, in a moment of humiliation in front of the Lord, I saw that, through my self-righteousness, I was the one guilty of not remembering the point of my own Confirmation. I realized I was asking God to help me do this and help me do that, as if I was in this alone and the burden was all on me.

In that moment I lost the slump in my posture and knelt more upright. I felt a surge of adrenaline. My prayer changed from fear and despair to anticipation and new hope! I prayed, “Oh God, it is You Who led me to discern this opportunity and Who brought me here. I know that, through Your Holy Spirit, You are with me and You won’t leave me hanging. You have ‘come to me in silence’ and You have lifted my fears; I am not afraid because You are with me. I trust in You. I love You and I am Yours.”

“Oh, loving and forgiving God, You teach me in many ways, often uncomfortable ways. You know what I need and You set the stage in advance so that when the moment comes I may learn from the experience. Thank you, Holy Spirit, for living within me. Help me to always feel your presence. Amen.”

(You Are Mine was first published on the blog Reflections of a Lay Catholic)
©2013-2017 Reflections of a Lay Catholic. Reposting and sharing of material in its full and original content is permitted, provided that full and clear credit is given to the author(s) and Reflections of a Lay Catholic.

Raising Our Eyes to Jesus

12 Sunday Mar 2017

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Transfig of Jesus - Raising our eyes

As Catholics, we come to church because we love the Lord. We come to receive the Body and Blood of Jesus Christ in the Eucharist.  We come to profess our faith in the saving Grace of Jesus and life everlasting.  But, I suspect, as in any religious congregation, there are those who come for other reasons:  because it’s what they’ve always done on Sunday mornings; because they feel they need to set the example for their children; or for fear of what might happen in their after-life if they don’t.  And, there are many more Catholics who simply no longer attend church either because they no longer believe or have justified and allowed worldly things to keep them away.

Today is a day we have been waiting for in our parish for several months: we begin our mission for conversion and renewal (for any Protestants reading this, think, “revival”).  Over the next four days, we will have a guest speaker, Deacon Ralph Poyo of New Evangelization Ministries, who will provide insights into what keeps us from becoming the disciples – followers of the Lord – that we are called to be; and how to improve our relationship with the Lord by recognizing those things that block our path.  The hope of the mission is to bring all parishioners, those strong in their faith, the luke warm and the fallen away, into a closer relationship with the Lord.

And, so, as I prepared for mass this morning by reviewing the scripture readings for the day, I couldn’t help but sense that they were cued up by God especially for our purpose.

In the first reading, from Genesis 12:1-4, we hear God telling Abram to “1Go forth from the land of your kinsfolk and from your father’s house to a land that I will show you.” God goes on to tell Abram how he will be blessed, how from him a ‘great nation’ will be made, and how his name will be made great.  Unspoken is the reality that this would be a tough journey through desert with uncertainty of what lies ahead.  Abram didn’t say, “No, I don’t think so, Lord!  That doesn’t sound like fun.  What about all the things I will have to give up?  What about my other commitments?  No, Lord, I kind of like it right here where I am.”  Instead, without blinking or thinking twice, “4Abram went as the Lord directed him.”

Then, in the second reading, 2 Timothy 1:8-10, we hear St. Paul reminding his beloved Timothy:  “8Bear your share of hardship for the gospel with the strength that comes from God.  9He saved us and called us to a holy life, not according to our works but according to his own design and the grace bestowed on us in Christ Jesus before time began.”  Here St. Paul is telling us that we are all called to live a holy life; and that it’s not always easy to follow the Lord.  We have to use the strength the Lord gives us to say “no” to our will (the things that keep us away), and “yes” to His will that will bring us closer to Him.

Finally, the Gospel reading was Matthew’s account of the transfiguration of Jesus, Matthew 17:1-9. After Peter, James and John saw Moses and Elijah appear with Jesus on the mountain, “5a bright cloud cast a shadow over them” and, upon hearing God’s voice say, “This is my beloved Son, with whom I am well pleased; listen to him.”, the Apostles fell prostrate to the ground.  Jesus came to them and told them to, “7Rise, and do not be afraid.” Then, “8when the disciples raised their eyes, they saw no one else but Jesus alone.”  With this last line I thought how wonderful it would be if it was that easy – each time we are fearful, each time we start to let our will take control – to raise our eyes and fix them on “no one else but Jesus alone.”

Unfortunately, we tell ourselves it isn’t that easy. It’s in our fallen nature to do so.  But, through the Grace of God, we have been given the gift of faith which is all that we need to give us the courage to say no to the things that keep us from Him.  Sometimes we just need help being shown the way.

Deacon Poyo, I hope your talks this week enlighten and inspire me, and everyone else in our parish, to build a better relationship with Jesus, and to help our brothers and sisters do the same.

“Come, Holy Spirit, fill the hearts of Your faithful and kindle in us the fire of Your love. Send forth Your Spirit, and we shall be created and You shall renew the face of the earth.  Amen.”

(Raising Our Eyes to Jesus was first published on the blog Reflections of a Lay Catholic)

©2013-2017 Reflections of a Lay Catholic. Reposting and sharing of material in its full and original content is permitted, provided that full and clear credit is given to the author(s) and Reflections of a Lay Catholic.

Seeking Signs

14 Tuesday Feb 2017

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Some days I simply don’t get a chance to read the daily scripture passages until the end of the day. Yesterday, like most Mondays, was this way.  I got my morning prayers in before I arrived at work, but then the routine of meetings and conference calls began and lasted the rest of the day.  Finally, at about ten o’clock, after a two hour drive and getting settled in my hotel room bed, I had time to read them.

Yesterday’s Gospel was from Mark 8:11-13:  “The Pharisees came forward and began to argue with Jesus, seeking from him a sign from heaven to test him. He sighed from the depth of his spirit and said, ‘Why does this generation seek a sign?  Amen, I say to you, no sign will be given to this generation.’  Then he left them, got into the boat again, and went off to the other shore.”

The last thing I remember before falling asleep was thinking about how the Pharisees were hell-bent on finding some way to get rid of Jesus so He would stop rocking their boat; and about how He didn’t fall to their trickery. He simply admonished them and sailed away.  Shortly after four o’clock this morning, I awoke still thinking about this story, but, from a personal perspective.

In my state of half-sleep, I remembered a few years ago, before I became Catholic, or even Christian for that matter, how I would sometimes wonder about the presence of God and Jesus. I would ask, “God, if you’re really there, give me a sign so I will know for sure.”  Of course, nothing happened.  What I didn’t know then was that He doesn’t want us to depend on signs.  He wants us to walk by faith, not by sight (2 Cor 5:7).

I remembered that weekend in April 2012 when I finally accepted God as real and Jesus as my Savior. I told my friend that I didn’t know if I believed or not because I didn’t know how to have faith.  He told me to forget being so analytical and logical and just accept it.  He said faith is a gift God is trying to give me through the Holy Spirit, that it was free for the taking and all I had to do was accept it.  Later that night in the church, I prayed my first real heart-felt prayer, a prayer embedded with real hope.  I believe I accepted, in that moment, His gift of faith because I immediately felt a sense of peace; and, not only were my prayers answered, but I began to see signs of His presence everywhere I looked.

Then, I began to think about times recently when my spiritual life has been a bit dry, when I didn’t feel I could see or feel His presence no matter what I did. I remember praying, “Come on, God, I know you’re there.  Help me out here; I need to feel you with me right now.”  And, then, of course, I ended up disappointed.  I realized God’s not to blame; it’s me and my lack of faith.

Why does faith slip away from me? Why do I not have any trouble trusting my family and close friends but forget about God?  Perhaps it’s because I’m still learning to walk by faith and not by sight.  I can see and hear those people close to me; I have hard evidence that they come through for me; and they are connected to the worldly things which, unfortunately, occupy most of my time.  The shame is that I know God works in my life, too; I’ve experienced it so many times.  His generous blessings are tangible examples of His endless love.  But, I am often blinded by the urgent, less important aspects of life and forget that He is there to lead me through those times.  I am humbled that I am not nearly as faithful as I would like to believe.

Do you get preoccupied and fail to recognize the Lord’s presence in your life? How do you get your faith back on track?

“O, loving and gracious Lord, grant me the Grace to strengthen my faith in You. Help me to never forget that You are only ever one prayer of affirmation away, one whispered, ‘Jesus, I trust in You.’   And, help me, please, to always thirst for You as You do for me.  Amen.”

(Seeking Signs was first published on the blog Reflections of a Lay Catholic)

©2013-2017 Reflections of a Lay Catholic. Reposting and sharing of material in its full and original content is permitted, provided that full and clear credit is given to the author(s) and Reflections of a Lay Catholic.

Finding Rest in the Desert

04 Saturday Feb 2017

Posted by in Renewal

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“[Jesus] said to them, ‘Come away by yourselves to a deserted place and rest a while.’”                     – Mark 6:31 NAB

In today’s Gospel, Jesus instructs His apostles to take a break from their travels and their mission of preaching repentance and healing of unclean spirits. Two by two, they have been separated and away from Jesus for quite some time.  They are tired and dirty.  They have healed many but have been rejected by many, also.  They’re ready for some downtime and time to re-energize.

As I heard the lector read this verse from the Gospel of Mark this morning at mass, I reflected on my own experience and realized that Jesus, as always, hit the nail on the head. For me, it has always been when I have retreated to a “deserted” place for rest and reflection that I have, afterwards, found myself refreshed and renewed in my faith and closer to Jesus.

My first experience was five years ago when I attended a Christ Renews His Parish (CRHP) retreat weekend at our parish church. My decision to go on the retreat was based not on getting closer to Jesus or to increase my faith, for I wasn’t Catholic nor remotely religious, but to hide from the daily struggles of work, and trying, unsuccessfully for the most part, to bring some balance to my life.  I also hoped to meet some men and make some new friends.  I did meet many men and made many new friends – not just acquaintances but lifelong brothers.  And, more importantly, I found God and the love of Christ.  My life was transformed and it hasn’t been the same since.  I became Catholic one year later.

Following that CRHP experience, I met regularly with some of those new friends on a regular basis in a quiet room at our church or at each other’s homes. They were special times, ones which would have required a natural disaster to keep me away.  We talked about how we had seen God working in our lives, and we opened up and shared the difficulties we were trying to overcome.  We chose scripture passages to read and discuss.  We learned from each other and we encouraged each other and we formed brotherly bonds.

With pressures from work seeming to increase, I wanted more of this type of respite. I began attending Bible studies and other opportunities to learn and deepen my faith, including weekly Adoration of the Blessed Sacrament.  Along with spending time with my wife, these encounters were the things which brought me peace.

In wanting to learn more about my faith, I jumped at the invitation to attend a Cursillo weekend where I could again spend a restful few days in reflection and fellowship with other men. Like CRHP, it was a life changing experience.  As a follow-up to Cursillo, monthly Ultreya meetings and weekly discussions of our prayer life, what we are doing to grow our faith, and what we are doing to bring others to Christ, keep me grounded and help direct my attention away from worldly strife.

Through these experiences, I have learned to take advantage of other opportunities for silence, solitude and time for prayer when I am away from my home field and friends. At those times, my “desert” becomes a rolling mountain stream, a peaceful perch overlooking a valley, holding a sleeping grandchild in my arms, or just about any place where I can marvel at His many miracles.

rock-creek

One of my favorite places to rest and listen to God – Rock Creek, west of Red Lodge, Montana.

I have probably read that verse from Mark several times but it never hit home until today. Before mass was over I took time to say a prayer of Thanksgiving for giving me the desire to want to find my own isolated “desert”, and to take time for rest and recharging by the best power source there is, Jesus Christ.

Where is your “desert”? Where do you go to find peace and quiet?  Do you make the time to go?  Do you go there with the intention of spending time with Jesus and letting him recharge you?  You should!  Go!  Look for the opportunities.  Attend a retreat such as Christ Renews His Parish or Cursillo.  Schedule time to meet with faithful men and women from whom you can grow your faith and who will lift you up with encouragement.  If this is new to you, signing up for a Bible study at your church is a good place to start.  The important thing is to seek Him.  Seek Him in a place that offers a measure of solitude and silence where you can listen to God, perhaps through others, and speak to Him in prayer.  You will find Him and you’ll be glad you did.

“O, loving and gracious God, I give You thanks for arranging our first meeting where I learned of and felt Your immense love for me. Thank You for rewarding me with Your peace each and every time I have come back to You.  Your love increases my faith, and my faith brings me hope for a life of eternity with You.  Amen.”

(Finding Rest in the Desert was first published on the blog Reflections of a Lay Catholic)

©2013-2017 Reflections of a Lay Catholic. Reposting and sharing of material in its full and original content is permitted, provided that full and clear credit is given to the author(s) and Reflections of a Lay Catholic.