Simple Evangelization: Looking Without vs. Within

30 Tuesday Sep 2014

Posted by Jerry Robinson in Charity, Evangelization

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: Photo credit: Jesusdivinemercy.com

Last week at our Parish Council meeting we discussed the upcoming ministry fair during which the various ministries will explain what they do and who they serve for the purpose of encouraging more parishioners to get involved. Our discussion was about how the displays should look and how best to attract people to browse the exhibits.

Afterwards, I thought more about this and it seemed to me something was missing. There needed to be more than quality displays and getting people into the parish hall for it to be a success. People need to know more than what the ministry is – they need to know why that ministry is important to the volunteer – and it needs to be expressed in a way that will encourage others to want to participate.

I recalled a re-post from June 2013 titled Catholics are Called to Daily Martyrdom, says Pope. In his Angelus, Pope Francis reflected on Matthew 16:25 and said, “The faithful are called to follow the example of the martyrs in losing their lives for Christ, even if they do not suffer violence for their faith.” He emphasized that it is expected of us, if not our duty, to sacrifice for the good of others.

I remembered this because, although I agree with Pope Francis’ intent, I don’t totally agree with his delivery. By making the analogy between martyrdom by violent death and martyrdom by daily sacrifice, he leaves a dark and unpleasant visualization in people’s minds. I know his intent is to encourage more Catholics to sacrifice their time, talent and treasure for the good of others and for the Church, but there is nothing appealing in those words that will make people who are not already on that train want to jump on board. They imply giving up stuff we value – stuff like comfortable habits.

Words mean things. It’s an individual’s perception of the meaning of a word that induces them to act one way or the other. People can do tremendous things if they are motivated by the promise of positive and encouraging outcomes rather than a sacrifice that hurts.

With respect to helping others, it boils down to how people answer the question, “What’s in it for me?” When it comes to self-motivation, there are two basic types of people. Most people fall somewhere between these two extremes.

On one end of the spectrum is the person whose focus is without and whose answer to “What’s in it for me?” is “What can I do for someone else?” This is the person who is unselfish, is intent on helping others and doesn’t even consider a sacrifice being made. They may recognize a duty but their focus is on the other person. They enjoy it. Their sacrifice is born from love. Martyrdom isn’t even on their radar.

Then, on the other end, there are the people who focus within. Their driver is truly, “What’s in it for me?” These folks range from those who give of themselves because it is their duty, but who find no pleasure in their actions because their sacrifice is a labor to them; to those who say with pride, “Look at me and how much more I’ve sacrificed than so-and-so.” The pride that goes along with this “Holier than thou” attitude is the sin of all sins. Jesus might have said, “He who tries to find martyrdom in this way for my sake is trying to save his life for his own sake.”

It is okay for someone else to say, “You are a wonderful person, so sacrificing and caring of others.” But, it’s not okay for us to think of ourselves in that way. Our motivation must be inside-out. We must do good for goodness’ sake and not for the purpose of inflating our egos. We can only focus on the reward to the beneficiary of our action, not on our own reward. It’s a fine example of the Catch 22 I wrote about in Live Forever or Die in the Attempt– if you want to save your life, then you must lose it, not begrudgingly, but with a smile on your face.

The Pope’s message is wasted on the people in the first group because it’s a “no-brainer” to them. It has to be directed at the people in the second group. To be effective, it has to be encouraging and influence a change in attitude more than an increase in effort; a shift in perspective from looking within to looking without; and blindness to the sacrifice. Only when we develop humility and stop looking for our just rewards will we receive them.

In the case of our ministry fair, attractive displays will certainly help. But, we need those manning the booths to give encouraging testimony, focused externally, to help convince others to get involved. This is an excellent opportunity for offering simple evangelizing comments like those below that emphasize the good in why they serve others and, ultimately, the good of the Church, rather than suggesting that prospective volunteers do their duty for duty’s sake:

“I enjoy being a Lector because, by reading the scripture at Mass, I feel I can help others better understand the Word of God.”

“I am on the Hospitality Committee because I enjoy welcoming new members to the parish and introducing them to all we have to offer.”

“I participate in the Respect Life Ministry because I hope my actions will help save the life of an innocent, unborn child.”

“I am a Day Leader for Eucharistic Adoration because I hope to help others develop a closer relationship with Christ.”

Wouldn’t it be wonderful if all Catholics answered Pope Francis’ call for evangelization by witnessing how blessed they feel when serving others, and how losing one’s life so it can be saved is a sacrifice born of love and, thus, not really a sacrifice at all?

©2014 Reflections of a Lay Catholic. Reposting and sharing of material in its full and original content is permitted, provided that full and clear credit is given to the author(s) and Reflections of a Lay Catholic.

Live Forever or Die in the Attempt

29 Tuesday Jul 2014

Posted by Jerry Robinson in Bible Reflections, Catholic Moral Teaching, Charity

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Charity, Dying to Self, Ephesians 5, Matthew 16

Earlier this month I was having a discussion with my sister about my fear of heights. She had little sympathy for me because she’s done crazy stuff like sky dive and told me I ought to “live” a little and try it. I replied that jumping out of a perfectly good aircraft was counterintuitive to living a long life and that I intended to “live forever or die in the attempt”.

That quote, “live forever or die in the attempt”, has lain dormant in my subconscious for over thirty years and it somehow bubbled to the surface at just the right moment. As some of you may know, it is from the classic satirical novel, Catch 22, by Joseph Heller. It is one of my all-time favorites.

The line is the sentiment of the story’s main protagonist, Captain John Yossarian, a B-25 bombardier flying missions over Italy during World War II. His motivation to “live forever or die in the attempt” came from his obsessive fear that everyone was trying to kill him: the enemy, by trying to shoot him down, and his own superiors, by sending him on more and more missions. The quote itself is representative of the self-defeating logic, the conundrum called Catch 22 which permeates the story, or as Webster’s Dictionary defines it, “a problematic situation for which the only solution is denied by a circumstance inherent in the problem”.

After I rebutted my sister with that quote the thought occurred to me that Mr. Heller probably had every intention of writing it the way he did, as a logic defying statement. But, I wondered if he knew that, to us Christians, it was perfectly logical and precisely on the mark?

In the New Testament gospels of Matthew, Mark and Luke, there is a verse that is nearly identical in all three gospels. The version from Matthew 16:25 (NAB) goes:

“For whoever wishes to save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for my sake will find it.”

As Christians, we often refer to this as, “Dying to Self”.

It means that we take up our Cross and we follow Christ who died so that we may live.

It means that we do it first through our baptism, when our old self dies and our new self takes life, and then we continue to die to ourselves every day for the rest of our lives as a process of sanctification.

We do this by following Jesus’ example of loving and caring for others before ourselves. A husband dies to himself by making the needs of his wife paramount to his own (Eph 5:25). A mother sacrifices for her children.

We give up many luxuries by tithing and giving back to the Church. We sacrifice our time and talents to seek out and offer charity to the poor and needy in our society.

We forgive others when it is the last thing in the world we want to do. We subordinate our pride and replace it with humility even when it would feel so good to do otherwise.

And, we let go of our will and accept God’s will in all that we do.

It is exactly this drive to “die in the attempt” which we believe will ensure that, once we die in this life, we will “live forever” in the next.

Do you plan to live forever or die in the attempt?

“Lord Jesus, I pray for Your help as I try to follow Your example and do Your will. Please help me remember to: place the needs of my family, friends and neighbors ahead of my own; increase my generosity; forgive when it is difficult to do so; and, for both friends and enemies, to always ‘wish them well’. Amen.”

(The post Live Forever or Die in the Attempt was first published in Reflections of a Lay Catholic)

Opening the Door between Heaven and Earth

25 Friday Jul 2014

Posted by Jerry Robinson in Charity, Discernment, Love, Prayer

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C.S. Lewis, Charity, Discernment, Jason Gray, Love, Prayer

I have spent most of the last six days decompressing from one of the most emotionally rewarding experiences of my life, and processing it so I can put it down on paper and relate it to you. Last Wednesday through Saturday I participated in our church’s bi-annual high school youth group Appalachian mission trip where we worked with Hand In Hand Ministries in Auxier, Kentucky.

During those four days I witnessed immense love and compassion for our fellow human beings. It wasn’t just one-way from our group to those whom we went to help. No, it also came from them to us, between the individuals within our own group, and between our group and other groups who were also there to volunteer. Having never been on a mission trip before, I will say my expectation was more along the lines of us giving “alms” to those in need with the exception that we would be giving of our talent and not just our treasure. How wrong I was! The kids and the Hand In Hand staff showed me that the love in true Christian charity, like C.S. Lewis describes in Mere Christianity, is more than just alms and more than an emotion. It is a demonstration of love for another, “A state not of the feelings but of the will.”

I am grateful to God for the experience. And I feel fortunate because the trip almost didn’t happen.

Two weeks before the group planned to depart, Mike, the group leader and parish Religious Director, experienced a personal injury that prevented him from going. As such, the entire trip was in jeopardy unless someone could be found to take his place. Since my daughter, Grace, was going, I was asked if I would go in Mike’s place. After praying about it, I agreed to go. I was excited about volunteering and participating in a new experience, about helping others, and working with our youth to provide them with a valuable life experience.

That optimism came to a screeching halt the next morning when Mike advised that two of the other adult chaperones, a married couple, had let him know they could not go. With only two chaperones left, Kelsea and I, the trip was once again in jeopardy. I saw two options: find two more people, a man and a woman, or cancel the trip. As I spoke to others about our seeming misfortune I heard warnings from them such as: “Well, there’s your sign!”, “You’re not meant to go on this trip”, and, “The good Lord’s sending you a message to not go”. As I listened to them, I began to believe they just might be right.

The next day I had an opportunity to spend an hour in prayer at Adoration. I prayed for help in discerning what to do – scuttle our plans or try to find two other chaperones to join us. As I prayed I became convinced that the setbacks were simply Satan throwing up obstacles testing our resolve to do God’s work. Deciding to move forward, I asked a friend to help me find two more people who were both qualified and willing to go. Fortunately, within a couple days we found two such people, Clay, a good friend of mine, and Becky, a veteran of several similar mission trips.

We met at the church for mass on Wednesday morning. The four of us sat with our five charges: Grace, Kathryn, Seth, Hannah and Tayla, and we received a blessing from our priest. The normal gospel reading for the day was replaced by the Judgment of the Nations passage from Matthew 25: 31-46 (NAB):

“(35) For I was hungry and you gave me food, I was thirsty and you gave me drink, a stranger and you welcomed me, (36) naked and you clothed me, ill and you cared for me, in prison and you visited me….(40) And the king will say to them in reply, ‘Amen, I say to you, whatever you did for one of these least brothers of mine, you did for me.’”

The deacon’s homily referred to Mother Theresa’s work with the poorest of the poor in Calcutta and was a fitting inspiration for us.

After mass, the kids hugged parents and we loaded up into two cars and set off on our four hour drive to Auxier. Along the way we stopped for lunch and took a goofy group picture, and detoured to Natural Bridge State Park for a hike up to its unique rock formation. Both were opportunities to have some fun and begin bonding as a group.

We arrived at the Hand In Hand Ministries Auxier Center on time and were greeted by their friendly staff: Gail, Kevin, and Andrew, and by three summer interns: Aniela, Freddie and Jeremy. We learned we would be sharing our volunteering experience with a dozen or so other adults and youths from the Louisville area and as far away as Arkansas. Gail explained to us the Center’s mission, and introduced us to the projects on which we would work over the next three days. She gave us some background on the people we would be helping. As Gail described the hardships faced by their clients, I began to see the wheels turning in the minds of our kids. They were trying to discern which cause they felt most passionate about and how they could help improve the lives of these people they had never met. Our group split between two projects and we were joined on them by some of the other volunteers.

The whole crew at Hand In Hand Auxier Center

Thursday morning found some of the kids being rousted from bed earlier than they had risen all summer, and we mustered for breakfast, packed lunches, said prayers, and loaded trucks with the tools and supplies we would need for the day. As we loaded up to drive to the clients’ homes, I could see the excitement in the kids’ eyes.

I joined Clay, Kelsea, Tayla, Seth, and others at a home where we would be removing walls and ceilings in a house and reinforcing deteriorated rafters for eventual roof replacement. Becky went with Grace, Kathryn and Hannah, and five others to a house to repair a porch and build a wheelchair ramp to the house. The third home, which we would not go to until Saturday, needed new exterior doors installed as the existing ones would not close. This old house, we learned, had, in the last couple weeks, just received its first electricity and water.

I don’t think anything could have prepared our kids for what they would find as they walked into each of these homes. The obvious poverty and poor living conditions were undeniably foreign to anything they had ever experienced. And, I was almost there with them. We had the opportunity to talk face-to-face with the home owners and learned they wanted nothing more than to have safe and healthy homes for their families. In those first few minutes after arriving, I began to sense a transformation taking place within all of us.

In observing the kids, and looking inward myself, I was reminded of the lyrics from a Jason Gray song, With Every Act Of Love¹, wherein he sings of a man who can’t be bothered by a woman’s “heart-cry” written on a cardboard sign she is holding:

“….But when she looks him in the eye / His heart is broken open wide / And he feels the hand of God reach out through him / As heaven touches earth // Oh, we bring the Kingdom come / Oh, with every act of love / Jesus, help us carry You / Alive in us Your light shines through.”

There’s no doubt our hearts were broken open wide during those first few moments. And, over the course of the next two and a half days, I saw and felt the hand of God reach out through me and the other volunteers, bringing heaven to earth, and His Kingdom come with every act of love.

I saw high-schoolers who probably haven’t cleaned their rooms in months jump in and move the homeowner’s personal belongings out of the house so that demolition could begin and do it with care and respect. These same kids, who more than likely complain about washing dishes or mowing the yard, donned Tyvek suits, dust masks, and safety glasses, grabbed crow bars and commenced busting out ceiling drywall with enthusiasm.

Suited up for demolition work

I saw compassion by volunteers who took the time to visit with and get to know the homeowners, and who honored the homeowner’s desire to participate in the renovation of their own residence.

Kids took pride in their work, from cutting a straight line in drywall to hammering tacks perfectly straight and spaced to fasten anti-slip treads on a wheelchair ramp.

There were some kids who were less outgoing than others but were invited into the extra-curricular activities in the evenings by the other kids. It was like there was some unwritten and unspoken morality which everyone knew and honored by ensuring nobody was left out.

I saw kids with more skill and experience watching out for those with less ability and helping them to learn and perform. Never did I see anyone suggest that “this is my job and that is yours”. I witnessed volunteers relieving sweaty and dirty workers so they could grab a bottle of water and cool off without the work stopping. I saw eager teamwork in action by people who had only known each other for a few hours.

Learning to use a circular saw

I saw kids cleaning up their messes, shoveling sheetrock and sweeping up dust before they left at night because it was the right thing to do.

Even in the midst of living conditions to which most people would turn up their noses, our kids were always positive and encouraging, always trying to build up instead of belittling. They made me proud to be associated with them.

We went to the Thursday evening Front Porch Pickin’ at the US23 Music Highway Museum to listen and dance to some of the best Bluegrass music to be found. While there, I saw kids honor the dance requests of the elderly locals who come to this event every Thursday night to clog and two-step the night away and have fun, kids from the different volunteer groups ask each other to dance, and I saw the experienced college-student interns request the pleasure of a dance from the wallflowers in the group to ensure that nobody was left out. Even I danced!

Clogging and two-stepping at Front Porch Pickin’

I saw pure love in action when a young woman donated her personal spending money to purchase an electric table lamp and present it in person to the couple who had just had electricity installed in their house.

I saw “kids” from 14 to 74, most of whom were strangers when we arrived on Wednesday, engage in work and play like they were life-long family. By the time the week was over, “family” was the best way to describe us.

I saw humility that would make Jesus proud when we went around the room on Saturday morning reflecting on the highs and lows of the week. I witnessed strong men break down and cry and younger kids comfortably and perfectly articulate their emotions in front of a large group.

And, I heard our kids discussing and dreaming about returning next year and possibly being summer interns themselves.

By mid-day Saturday, when it was time to leave, nobody wanted to go. But, after tearful hugs and long goodbyes, we packed up and headed home. I know many lasting friendships were made during those four days, and each of us left transformed, fulfilled, and richer than when we arrived.

Final goodbyes

On the way home I reflected on how we almost cancelled the trip and how our group of nine almost missed these life changing experiences. I couldn’t help but think that in spite of Satan’s attempt to thwart our desire to do as Jesus would have us do, we won this game. Walking Hand In Hand with God, we shut out the Devil nine to nothing.

As I was writing this I was listening to the song, With Every Act Of Love, again. Between the second verse and the refrain there is a bridge that sums up the main take-away for me from this trip. It goes:

“God put a million, million doors in this world for His love to walk through / One of those doors is you.”

I hope this experience helped all of us see ourselves as beautifully painted and architecturally perfect portals through which the hand of God can bring heaven to earth.

(Note: Out of respect for Hand In Hand’s clients at whose homes we worked, I chose not to include any photographs of the worksites.)

(The post, Opening the Door between Heaven and Earth, was first published in Reflections of a Lay Catholic)

My Time Is Not God’s Time

05 Saturday Jul 2014

Posted by Jerry Robinson in Hope, Love, Prayer

≈ 4 Comments

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Charity, God-moments, Love, Miracles, Prayer

It was one year ago today that I began a 2,600 mile, four day solo drive from Cincinnati, Ohio to Seattle, Washington during which I posted daily how God had shown Himself to me in one form or another. Last Saturday I set out again for another long drive for this year’s summer vacation. This trip was a 1,286 mile drive to Ingram, Texas, which is a little over an hour northwest of San Antonio, for a family reunion.

Unlike last year’s trek, I was joined this time by my daughter, Grace. My wife had gone on ahead by flying to Louisiana and then driving to Texas with another daughter. I always look forward to road trips and one of the things I was most looking forward to on this trip was being captive for twenty hours in the same space as Grace. I’m sure, at age 17, she wasn’t quite as enamored with the idea as I was. She will be leaving for college in a few short weeks and this would probably be our last chance to spend any real quality time together.

The level of conversation in the car often depends upon who has control of the stereo. Wanting to make this a pleasurable trip for both of us I relinquished control even though I was driving. This meant I had to listen to a few hours of Bruno Mars, John Mayer and Josh Groban. Pretending to like most of the songs was a small price to pay for this bonding opportunity.

Our plan upon leaving home on Saturday morning was to drive as far as Dallas via Louisville, Nashville, Memphis, and Little Rock. But, before we even arrived in Nashville, I could tell from watching my car’s GPS that our ETA in Dallas was steadily getting later and later because of the delays due to highway construction and heavy rains. By the time we were leaving Nashville I decided to make a hotel reservation in Mt. Pleasant, Texas, about two hours east of Dallas. My GPS said we could arrive at 11:30 p.m. I had already lost two hours during a six hour trip.

We came to another full stop on I-40 east of Jackson, Tennessee for more construction. We crawled along for about ten minutes when we came upon an accident. A Jeep Wrangler had collided with the rear end of a semi-trailer, and a PT Cruiser was bent in half leaning against a highway sign at the bottom of the embankment off the shoulder of the road. The driver of the Jeep was still in his vehicle and a young woman was sitting on the edge of the shoulder in front of the semi tractor. I saw one other person standing around talking on his cell phone.

Grace was driving so I asked her to pull over. I retrieved my first aid and blood borne pathogens kit from my car (I had just received Medic First Aid/BBP refresher training the Tuesday before and thought it would be a good idea to carry a kit on this trip) and donned the latex gloves. I walked to the girl sitting on the ground and asked about her condition. She was holding a towel to her chin in an effort to stem the bleeding from a cut she had received when her PT Cruiser had rolled down the embankment. She said she had movement of her limbs, head and torso and, other than the cut, was just shaken up. Telling her I would be back in a moment I went to see about the man in the Jeep.

On my way to check on the driver of the Jeep I met the other man who had stopped. He said he had activated EMS but otherwise didn’t know what to do. I then discovered another man who had stopped but who also didn’t know any first aid procedures. I went to the Jeep and found the young man coherent. He also said he could move his torso, neck and head but that he thought he had a broken leg because he was trapped in the vehicle. Upon inspection, he was indeed trapped and would have to be cut out of the vehicle.

As I was talking to the young man another man stopped and came up to me and asked if I was a medical professional. I replied I was not and he said he was a nurse. I asked him to take over here and I would go back to the driver of the other car.

When I walked back to the young woman, another woman walked up and said she was a nurse and, after relaying what I could tell of the injuries, I asked her to take over with this patient. I asked the young woman what had happened. She said she was stopped behind the semi and she saw that the vehicle behind her didn’t appear as if it was going to stop so she tried to move over onto the shoulder. The Jeep slammed into the rear of her car and forced her down the embankment and caused her car to roll over. The Jeep then slammed into the rear of the semi-trailer.

It was obvious that her defensive driving tactic of looking in her rear view mirror had saved her life. Had she not made an attempt to move to the right onto the shoulder the Jeep would have pushed her car under the trailer and she could have easily been crushed and decapitated.

As she related the incident she began to cry. With medical professionals on-site and the EMS on its way, I decided there wasn’t much else for me to do. But, then I thought there might be one more thing I could do. I asked the young woman what her name was and she said it was Julia. I said to Julia that I didn’t know if she was a religious person but I would be happy to pray with her if she would like. She looked me in the eye and said, “Please do!”

As I knelt, I took her hand and I prayed for God to hold her close to Him, to heal her wounds, both physical and emotional, as well as those of the other driver, and l gave thanks for saving her from injuries worse than she actually received. When I finished praying she had stopped crying, smiled and thanked me. As I walked back to my car I heard the sirens of the emergency vehicles approaching.

Grace and I resumed our trip. We stopped in Jackson, Tennessee for reconciliation and mass at St. Mary’s Catholic Church. We got stuck in more severe weather and more construction delays. She conceded and we listened to some ‘70s music from Jimmy Buffet, Jerry Jeff Walker and Marshall Tucker Band. We arrived at our hotel at 2:30 a.m., three hours later than expected. What should have been a 13.5 hour drive turned into 18.5 hours.

As my head hit the pillow I remembered my prayers. I thanked God for delivering us safely but I wished we had not had so many delays. I prayed for the two injured young people from earlier in the day and I gave thanks for the opportunity to spend quality time with Grace. And then, the God-moment came to me. I believe now that the delays we had both prior to and after coming upon that accident were two-fold and were meant to be. Even though I may not have been able to do anything to help with their injuries, maybe, just maybe, I was able to be of help spiritually to Julia. Perhaps it was God’s plan for me to be there at that moment in time not to attend to injuries of the body but to strengthen a spirit. And, perhaps God knew that Grace and I needed an extra five hours of togetherness.

“Heavenly Father, I give you thanks for allowing me to be an instrument of your love and to spread your love through charity to others. Thank you for the opportunities you give me to build loving relationships with my family and friends and new acquaintances. Amen.”

(The post My Time Is Not God’s Time was first published in Reflections of a Lay Catholic)

Loving Others Is Not A Sacrifice

25 Tuesday Mar 2014

Posted by Jerry Robinson in Lent, Love, Prayer

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Charity, Lent, Love, Prayer

In my last post Why Do Catholics Give Things Up for Lent? I left you hanging over what I finally decided to “give up” by following the advice in Matthew 6:1-4 and not toot my own horn. I will tell you, though, it involved what I thought would be a daily sacrifice on my part and which I hoped would result in bringing some joy to others.

A few kind folks have given me some feedback saying that I have, indeed, brought them some joy through my effort.

But, I found that as I repeatedly made this daily sacrifice, I started to look forward to it. Now, it’s no longer a sacrifice. I enjoy it. If I miss a day, I feel it.

This morning it struck me that I shouldn’t be surprised over my change in perception.

When I intentionally express my love and try to bring joy through prayer to God, my time isn’t a sacrifice at all. I enjoy it, I look forward to it and, if I miss a day, I feel it.

Lesson learned: Loving others is not a sacrifice.

(The post Loving Others Is Not A Sacrifice first appeared in Reflections of a Lay Catholic)

How’s Your Spirituality?

13 Thursday Feb 2014

Posted by Jerry Robinson in Faith, Love, Prayer, Scripture

≈ 1 Comment

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Charity, Faith, HolySpirit, Love, Prayer

Every six weeks or so when I see my friend, Tim, I get asked the question, “Hey, Jer, how’s your spirituality?” The neat thing is he’s not just making small talk, he’s sincerely interested in knowing how I’m doing spiritually and is willing to jump in and give me a boost if I need it.

The first time he asked me I was taken by surprise and didn’t know what to say, so I gave him an automatic, “Great, everything’s wonderful!” response. The next time I was a little better prepared and, fortunately for me, I was being truthful when I said, “Man, it couldn’t be better.” The third time he asked, I hesitated because, although I wanted to tell him everything was fantastic, I would have been lying. Instead, I gave him a tentative look and said, “Well, actually, I’ve been going through a little dry spell lately.” And then, true to form, he helped me talk through it and helped me get back on track.

Tim’s concern for not necessarily just my physical well being but, instead, for my spiritual health, is a good example of the type of friend I’ve made since becoming a Christian. I have been blessed with many friends just like him.

At some point a couple months ago I started thinking seriously about his question. “Why should I wait for him to ask me? Why not ask myself from time to time? And, if I take time for reflection and do a self-evaluation, how do I describe and qualify my spiritual life? What makes it great as opposed to being only mediocre or not good at all?”

First, I thought I needed to define Spirituality. So, I Googled the word hoping to find a dictionary but the first hit that came up was a link to the Student Wellness Center at Ohio State University (go figure?). Their definition of Spirituality started out like this, “Spirituality is not religion and is not even necessarily affiliated with religion.” I thought, “Hmm, the heck you say!” Obviously, this was not going to get me close to the spirit (pun intended) of what Tim was asking. Finally, in checking Webster’s dictionary, I found a suitable definition – “Spirituality: The sensitivity or attachment to religious values”. I thought, “Now, I can work with that!”.

The word “Sensitivity” lends itself towards how I feel about my religious values. Generally, from one day to the next, I feel grateful, excited and full of hope about my faith in God, my acceptance of Jesus Christ as my Savior, and my desire to live life as He wants me to live – full of charity for, and service to, others. It feels good to acknowledge and accept His love, and to recognize and proclaim my love in return.

But, I have so-so days at times, too. These are when I feel overwhelmed trying to understand everything; feeling confounded that I can’t get the pieces to fit together, which causes me to doubt; and days when life simply gets in the way and keeps me from those precious prayer moments.

Then, there are the bad days: the days when I let my concupiscence get the upper hand; days when I let stress and aggravation cause me to feel less charitable than I ought to be and I don’t realize it until it is too late

The second part of the definition is, “Attachment to religious values”. Unlike the feelings related to sensitivity, “Attachment” conjures up the idea of putting that acceptance into action. Again, there seem to be different levels of qualification to this aspect.

The best days seem to include some element of showing kindness to others – there’s not much that feels better than that. I admit I feel pleased with myself when I go out of my way to help others. Same thing for sacrificing for others – there’s just something special about it. And then there’s prayer. The act of telling and showing Him my love, and accepting His love, definitely produces a spiritual high. I’ve noticed, too, the wonderful feeling, the positive self-affirmation, when I do something that appears to influence and lead others toward Christ. I feel like I’ve earned my pay for the day.

In business it’s often said, “Some days they pay me too much and others they don’t pay me nearly enough.” The same goes with spirituality, I think. There are days I just don’t earn the right to feel very spiritual. Days when I don’t act with love to others. Times when I take out frustrations either intentionally or unintentionally on others. And, worst of all, when I sin and I know I’m sinning but I do it anyway. I’m thankful this doesn’t happen often but when it does it feels devastating. When I look at those actions in retrospect, I know that Jesus is weeping for me.

When I became Catholic, many caring friends, Tim and others, cautioned me to take it easy, to accept a certain slowness to the learning process. Sometimes I just don’t want to go slow. But, I think they’re right. It’s easy to put the cart before the horse, as the saying goes, and get ahead of myself in trying to understand Christianity and trying to live it like a saint. I kind of feel like a newbie golfer who is just learning the game but gets frustrated because he can’t shoot par. It’s easy to lose sight of the fact that even the pros don’t always shoot par.

During this exercise of examining my spirituality I’ve learned a few other things, too. I’ve found that when I pray, when I read the scriptures, study the bible, and associate with other men and women who do the same, I begin to understand what was in Jesus’ mind and I think I’m starting to think more like he did. My mind is becoming renewed. Instead of just existing in the flesh like I did for years, I have begun existing in Spirit, too. I think my mind has reached a higher level because of its connection with the Holy Spirit.

So whoever is in Christ is a new creation: the old things have passed away; behold, new things have come. – 2 Corinthians 5:17

I am so very grateful to all the people who have gently pushed me, pulled me, guided me, offered insight along the way, and waited at each way-point with open arms and a knowing smile. I appreciate friends like Tim, the guys in my bible study group, the men and women on the Christ Renews His Parish teams, and my family who care enough about me to ask about my spirituality, my walk with God. It’s heartening to know that, as I move ahead, you will be there for me. God bless you all.

(The post How’s Your Spirituality? appeared first on Reflections of a Lay Catholic)

Because He Can

18 Wednesday Sep 2013

Posted by Jerry Robinson in Churches, Faith

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Tags

Charity, God-moments, Grace

Over the last couple months I have shared with you some occasions where I have sensed God coming into my life unexpectedly. I call them “God Moments”. I mentioned last week in reply to one of the comments to my post The Cradle of Faith in Ohio that I seem to recognize these God Moments when they occur because I’ve come to expect them and I’m on the lookout for them. It’s kind of like:

Matthew 7:7 – “Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you.”

Some folks may call them mere coincidences or concurrences. I won’t deny coincidences may happen but, the more of these unexplained situations I observe, I believe there is more to them than their being random occurrences of chance. Sometimes they may have elements of Divine Providence that are intended to guide us, and sometimes they are simply gentle reminders that He is here. Sometimes they are profound experiences that hit you up-side the head, and sometimes they are subtle inspirations that leave you wondering if He is having a nice belly laugh at our expense. I think I got a dose of all of these this last weekend.

You tell me.

My wife and I drove our youngest daughter from our home in Ohio to Knoxville, Tennessee on Saturday morning for a campus visit and open house at the University of Tennessee. She’s a senior and trying to decide what field of study to pursue and at which university she would prefer to continue her education. After a four hour drive and four hours of walking the UT campus we hopped back in the car and headed southwest towards Starkville, Mississippi for a tour at Mississippi State University on Monday. In setting up this trip I knew it would be a long day on Saturday and considered where to spend Saturday night. Finally, checking distances and reasonable times of arrival, I settled on something in Birmingham, Alabama. I prefer to stay at hotels in one particular family of hotels and so, when I got on-line to check for accommodations, I found over a dozen possibilities in the Birmingham area. As an afterthought, it occurred to me that the parents of my future son-in-law (fiancé of my second oldest daughter), whose parents we had not yet met, lived on the south side of Birmingham. So, I selected a hotel near the interstate just south of downtown in hopes that we could perhaps meet up with them (which we actually had the pleasure of doing). We wanted to attend Mass on Sunday morning, 15 September, so I logged onto masstimes.org to find a church near us. There were a half dozen or so not too far away but we chose Our Lady of Sorrows in Homewood, Alabama, that had an 8:30 a.m. Mass which would be convenient to our schedule. It was close to Samford University where we thought we might mosey around after Mass and still give us time to meet up with my future son-in-law’s parents.

We received a friendly welcome as we entered Our Lady of Sorrows and were pleased to see the congregation nearly filling the church. Some of the tunes were different from those to which we were accustomed, and the homily was a little long, but I’ve come to expect those small differences from church to church. Mass ended and we departed the church and as we walked out the front door my wife looked up at a younger man, about six feet six and in his early forties and said, “Are you Matthew Montegut?”, to which the tall, younger man replied, “Yes, I am, and you are Melinda Robinson!” I finally recognized him as an older version of the skinny kid I used to see playing basketball in the driveway next door to my in-law’s house in Houston, Texas when I was dating my wife over thirty years ago. Our paths had probably not crossed in over twenty-five years and here we were together at the same place and same time. This was the church he and his family regularly attended. Coincidence? Maybe. But when you consider all the possibilities, the what-ifs and choices of options randomly selected throughout the process of deciding to be at that place at that exact time, the odds are astronomical. Especially if they are combined with all the possibilities from which Matthew may have had to choose to be there at the same time. I don’t think it was coincidence. I think it was more of a case where God, with a sense of humor, needed a good chuckle and answered my question of, “Why did this happen?” with a response of, “Because I can.”

Our Lady of Sorrows Catholic Church, Homewood, AL
– Photo courtesy of Google Images

Let’s rewind a couple days. On Friday I received an email from a friend telling me the next meeting of the committee for a particular ministry in which I am interested at church would be next Tuesday. I had missed the last few meetings and I really wanted to attend this one because I feel called to this particular ministry. The problem this time was that I already had plans to attend parent night at my daughter’s high school. I have always tried to do whatever I could to be there for my children and attend functions to support them, and this would be my last opportunity to do so. Many times throughout the day Saturday, from Ohio to Knoxville to Birmingham, I found myself pondering what I ought to do: attend the committee meeting or attend the parent meeting at school. I wanted to do both but obviously I couldn’t. When I knelt at the beginning of Mass at Our Lady of Sorrows, I said a typical prayer that would make author Matthew Kelly proud, “Lord, help me to see in this Mass the one thing that will make me a better version of myself.” I previously mentioned the long homily. The reason it was long was because it was that time of year for this parish to appeal to its congregation to support Catholic charities through giving of their Time, Talent and Treasure. Now, had this been like any other Sunday, the homily would have been related to the readings, in this case about Jesus welcoming sinners. But, no, it was spot on the very thing about which I had been worrying, whether or not to give of my time. And, during the homily it was revealed to me that, since my daughter is a senior, she probably doesn’t care one whit if I attend parent night at school or not, but that my time may be of more significant value if I attend the committee meeting and participate in the ministry. Coincidence? I don’t think so. No, I think this was Divine Providence, God’s hand gently guiding me in the direction I need to go. (By the way, I attended the meeting last night and I’m glad I did. And, when I told my daughter I was not going to attend the event at school she said, “That’s just fine with me, Dad!”)

Stained Glass Window at Our Lady of Sorrows Catholic Church
– Photo courtesy of Google Images

One last thing-

When I was at Our Lady of Sorrows I totally forgot to snap a picture of the church. I was too stunned after meeting up with Matthew Montegut. So, yesterday as I was forming this post in my mind I went on-line to Google Images to see if there might be a photo or two of the church. But, I goofed with my first try and instead of searching Google Images I just searched on Google. The first thing to pop up was a Wikipedia entry for Our Lady of Sorrows. This wasn’t what I was looking for but it caught my interest and I opened the site and read a bit. I read and pretty soon I had a grin from ear to ear. I learned that in 1913 Pope Pius X declared the Liturgical Feast of Our Lady of Sorrows to be, henceforth and forever more, on the fifteenth day of September of each year, the very day I happened to attend Our Lady of Sorrows church in Homewood, Alabama. Coincidence? Again, I don’t think so. I think God, with his arm around my shoulder, was lovingly telling me, “I Do because I Can. Have faith in Me.”

What do you think?

I can’t make this stuff up, folks.

A friend and follower commented in Bolo Ties, Rosaries and Rainbows , “My blessed mother, God rest her soul, always said that you get special blessings when you visit a church for the first time.” After visiting Our Lady of Sorrows, I’m thinking my friend’s mother knew what she was talking about.

I’d love to hear your thoughts and any special “God Moments” you might want to share.

Good night and God Bless.

Love is a Verb

14 Friday Jun 2013

Posted by Jerry Robinson in Love

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Tags

C.S. Lewis, Charity, Love

John 13: 34-35 “I give you a new commandment: Love one another. As I have loved you, so you also should love one another. This is how all will know that you are my disciples, if you have love for one another.”

The last two weeks have been unlike any I’ve had in some time. My emotions have run the gamut from worry about some serious and scary health concerns within my family, to feeling so much love for and from God, my family, and my parish community, that I find it difficult to describe. I think my frequent and fervent prayers about the former were answered and actually begot the latter. The emotional love I am feeling is, I believe, a direct result of the acts of love shown to me from others and by my acts of love to them. It’s the act of loving that has built a bridge over that emotional gap. And it’s that bridge that has caused me to examine it and to count it as one of my blessings. Let me explain.

Many years ago I lived in England and, as a seventh grader, I studied Latin. I don’t remember ever learning the Latin word for the noun form of the word meaning “Love” but I remember, like it was yesterday, learning to conjugate the verb “To Love”: Amo, Amas, Amat, Amamus, Amatus, Amant (I love, you love, he/she loves, etc.). And, even though I memorized this, I don’t think I understood what it really meant as a verb, or an action word. Instead, I lived my life for the next fifteen years taking for granted that it was only a feeling, a noun, not something to be done.

In fact, I’m embarrassed to say that I probably had not yet made that connection when I married my wonderful wife thirty-one years ago. Love, to me, was a feeling, and any actions that could have been interpreted as love were probably more a result of trying to satisfy my own desires rather than hers. I was self-centered and immature into my early twenties. My only consolation is that most everyone my age was the same way. All these years later, when I look around our world and examine its culture, it looks much the same to me.

Why is it this way? Is it just a part of growing up? Is it our culture? Is it due to parenting in today’s society? Do some parents work so hard to build the egos of their children that they become self-centered and live in a “me” world?

With luck, young adults will have a unique defining moment that helps them to redefine what love means, that it’s an action word, a verb, and not just a feeling.

My defining moment didn’t happen with my marriage although I felt extreme love for my wife. It wasn’t with the birth of my first child, either, although I had never felt new love like that before. No. It was the simple act of understanding the phrase, “Love is a verb”, that I read in a book by author Stephen Covey when I was trying to get control of my life during a very crazy period. Quite simply, Covey wrote that if you want to feel more love, then you have to give more love. Love is an action word. It’s something you do. What a novel idea for me at the time!

Have you ever stopped to consider the idea of love being something you do, not just something you feel?

I like to think that, since then, I’ve grown up and learned a thing or two. I wish I could somehow effectively teach teens, young adults, and others who’ve never before stopped to consider the concept, the definition of love as explained by C.S. Lewis in his book, Mere Christianity. In his chapter on the theological virtue of Charity, Lewis writes,

“Charity means ‘Love, in the Christian sense’. But love, in the Christian sense, does not mean an emotion. It is a state not of the feelings but of the will; that state of the will which we have naturally about ourselves, and must learn to have about other people. Christian Love for our neighbors is quite a different thing from liking or affection. But, liking or [having] affection for people makes it easier to be charitable towards them. Do not waste time bothering whether you ‘love’ your neighbor; act as if you did. As soon as we do this we find one of the great secrets. When you are behaving as if you loved someone, you will presently come to love them.”

And, I would like to explore with those students what St. Paul wrote in his letter to the Romans,

“Be devoted to one another in brotherly love. Honor one another above yourselves.” (Romans 12:10)

Fortunately for me, I was old enough for the meaning of ‘Love is a Verb’ to make some sense. I started practicing this new idea. Lo and behold, I noticed that my intentional efforts to do things to show my wife and children how much I loved them returned good results. I felt more love from them. But the biggest eye opener was something unexpected – the more I showed them love, the more love I felt for them. The engineer that I am recognized this as exponential growth – a powerful thing.

How do you show love? Have you received something in return which you never imagined would happen?

So, I rocked on for about twenty-five more years in this way, focusing on a loving relationship with those closest to me, my wife and four daughters, (who, I’m proud to say, are much more mature and responsible than I ever was at their age) and my extended family. And, with just a few exceptions, that was about the extent of the loving in my life. The people in that circle made up my world. Oh, I had a few people I called friends, people at work and neighbors who I liked but they were not “loving” relationships under this new definition of love.

It has only been in the last 15 months, since my first Christ Renews weekend, that I’ve been able to truly extend my circle of love beyond my family. Since then, my new extended family of my Catholic community has shown me example after example of love in action and I have been so blessed to have had opportunities to act with love for them, too. And, over the last two weeks, I have felt God’s love, and Jesus’ presence next to me, more intensely than ever before. I can’t help but believe there is a direct correlation between these feelings of love and peace, my time spent praying, and the reciprocating actions of love I have shared with family and friends.

Do you notice the noun version of “love” the more you practice the verb version of “love”? Do you have an experience to share?

Good day and God Bless.