Tag Archives: Charity

Because He Can

18 Wednesday Sep 2013

Posted by in Churches, Faith

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Over the last couple months I have shared with you some occasions where I have sensed God coming into my life unexpectedly.  I call them “God Moments”.  I mentioned last week in reply to one of the comments to my post The Cradle of Faith in Ohio  that I seem to recognize these God Moments when they occur because I’ve come to expect them and I’m on the lookout for them.  It’s kind of like:

Matthew 7:7 – “Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you.”

Some folks may call them mere coincidences or concurrences.  I won’t deny coincidences may happen but, the more of these unexplained situations I observe, I believe there is more to them than their being random occurrences of chance.  Sometimes they may have elements of Divine Providence that are intended to guide us, and sometimes they are simply gentle reminders that He is here.  Sometimes they are profound experiences that hit you up-side the head, and sometimes they are subtle inspirations that leave you wondering if He is having a nice belly laugh at our expense.  I think I got a dose of all of these this last weekend. 

You tell me.

My wife and I drove our youngest daughter from our home in Ohio to Knoxville, Tennessee on Saturday morning for a campus visit and open house at the University of Tennessee.  She’s a senior and trying to decide what field of study to pursue and at which university she would prefer to continue her education.  After a four hour drive and four hours of walking the UT campus we hopped back in the car and headed southwest towards Starkville, Mississippi for a tour at Mississippi State University on Monday.  In setting up this trip I knew it would be a long day on Saturday and considered where to spend Saturday night.  Finally, checking distances and reasonable times of arrival, I settled on something in Birmingham, Alabama.  I prefer to stay at hotels in one particular family of hotels and so, when I got on-line to check for accommodations, I found over a dozen possibilities in the Birmingham area.  As an afterthought, it occurred to me that the parents of my future son-in-law (fiancé of my second oldest daughter), whose parents we had not yet met, lived on the south side of Birmingham.  So, I selected a hotel near the interstate just south of downtown in hopes that we could perhaps meet up with them (which we actually had the pleasure of doing).  We wanted to attend Mass on Sunday morning, 15 September, so I logged onto masstimes.org to find a church near us.  There were a half dozen or so not too far away but we chose Our Lady of Sorrows in Homewood, Alabama, that had an 8:30 a.m. Mass which would be convenient to our schedule.  It was close to Samford University where we thought we might mosey around after Mass and still give us time to meet up with my future son-in-law’s parents.

We received a friendly welcome as we entered Our Lady of Sorrows and were pleased to see the congregation nearly filling the church.  Some of the tunes were different from those to which we were accustomed, and the homily was a little long, but I’ve come to expect those small differences from church to church.  Mass ended and we departed the church and as we walked out the front door my wife looked up at a younger man, about six feet six and in his early forties and said, “Are you Matthew Montegut?”, to which the tall, younger man replied, “Yes, I am, and you are Melinda Robinson!” I finally recognized him as an older version of the skinny kid I used to see playing basketball in the driveway next door to my in-law’s house in Houston, Texas when I was dating my wife over thirty years ago.  Our paths had probably not crossed in over twenty-five years and here we were together at the same place and same time.  This was the church he and his family regularly attended.  Coincidence?  Maybe.  But when you consider all the possibilities, the what-ifs and choices of options randomly selected throughout the process of deciding to be at that place at that exact time, the odds are astronomical.  Especially if they are combined with all the possibilities from which Matthew may have had to choose to be there at the same time.  I don’t think it was coincidence.  I think it was more of a case where God, with a sense of humor, needed a good chuckle and answered my question of, “Why did this happen?” with a response of, “Because I can.”

 

Our Lady of Sorrows Catholic Church, Homewood, AL - Photo courtesy of Google Images

Our Lady of Sorrows Catholic Church, Homewood, AL
– Photo courtesy of Google Images

Let’s rewind a couple days.  On Friday I received an email from a friend telling me the next meeting of the committee for a particular ministry in which I am interested at church would be next Tuesday.  I had missed the last few meetings and I really wanted to attend this one because I feel called to this particular ministry.  The problem this time was that I already had plans to attend parent night at my daughter’s high school.  I have always tried to do whatever I could to be there for my children and attend functions to support them, and this would be my last opportunity to do so.  Many times throughout the day Saturday, from Ohio to Knoxville to Birmingham, I found myself pondering what I ought to do:  attend the committee meeting or attend the parent meeting at school.  I wanted to do both but obviously I couldn’t.  When I knelt at the beginning of Mass at Our Lady of Sorrows, I said a typical prayer that would make author Matthew Kelly proud, “Lord, help me to see in this Mass the one thing that will make me a better version of myself.”  I previously mentioned the long homily.  The reason it was long was because it was that time of year for this parish to appeal to its congregation to support Catholic charities through giving of their Time, Talent and Treasure.  Now, had this been like any other Sunday, the homily would have been related to the readings, in this case about Jesus welcoming sinners.  But, no, it was spot on the very thing about which I had been worrying, whether or not to give of my time.  And, during the homily it was revealed to me that, since my daughter is a senior, she probably doesn’t care one whit if I attend parent night at school or not, but that my time may be of more significant value if I attend the committee meeting and participate in the ministry.  Coincidence?  I don’t think so.  No, I think this was Divine Providence, God’s hand gently guiding me in the direction I need to go. (By the way, I attended the meeting last night and I’m glad I did.  And, when I told my daughter I was not going to attend the event at school she said, “That’s just fine with me, Dad!”)

 

Stained Glass Window at Our Lady of Sorrows Catholic Church - Photo courtesy of Google Images

Stained Glass Window at Our Lady of Sorrows Catholic Church
– Photo courtesy of Google Images

One last thing-

When I was at Our Lady of Sorrows I totally forgot to snap a picture of the church.  I was too stunned after meeting up with Matthew Montegut.  So, yesterday as I was forming this post in my mind I went on-line to Google Images to see if there might be a photo or two of the church.  But, I goofed with my first try and instead of searching Google Images I just searched on Google.  The first thing to pop up was a Wikipedia entry for Our Lady of Sorrows.  This wasn’t what I was looking for but it caught my interest and I opened the site and read a bit.  I read and pretty soon I had a grin from ear to ear.  I learned that in 1913 Pope Pius X declared the Liturgical Feast of Our Lady of Sorrows to be, henceforth and forever more, on the fifteenth day of September of each year, the very day I happened to attend Our Lady of Sorrows church in Homewood, Alabama.  Coincidence?  Again, I don’t think so.  I think God, with his arm around my shoulder, was lovingly telling me, “I Do because I Can.  Have faith in Me.”

What do you think?

I can’t make this stuff up, folks.

A friend and follower commented in Bolo Ties, Rosaries and Rainbows  , “My blessed mother, God rest her soul, always said that you get special blessings when you visit a church for the first time.”  After visiting Our Lady of Sorrows, I’m thinking my friend’s mother knew what she was talking about.

I’d love to hear your thoughts and any special “God Moments” you might want to share.

Good night and God Bless.

Love is a Verb

14 Friday Jun 2013

Posted by in Love

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John 13: 34-35  “I give you a new commandment:  Love one another.  As I have loved you, so you also should love one another. This is how all will know that you are my disciples, if you have love for one another.”

The last two weeks have been unlike any I’ve had in some time.  My emotions have run the gamut from worry about some serious and scary health concerns within my family, to feeling so much love for and from God, my family, and my parish community, that I find it difficult to describe.  I think my frequent and fervent prayers about the former were answered and actually begot the latter. The emotional love I am feeling is, I believe, a direct result of the acts of love shown to me from others and by my acts of love to them.  It’s the act of loving that has built a bridge over that emotional gap.  And it’s that bridge that has caused me to examine it and to count it as one of my blessings.  Let me explain.

Many years ago I lived in England and, as a seventh grader, I studied Latin. I don’t remember ever learning the Latin word for the noun form of the word meaning “Love” but I remember, like it was yesterday, learning to conjugate the verb “To Love”:  Amo, Amas, Amat, Amamus, Amatus, Amant (I love, you love, he/she loves, etc.).  And, even though I memorized this, I don’t think I understood what it really meant as a verb, or an action word.  Instead, I lived my life for the next fifteen years taking for granted that it was only a feeling, a noun, not something to be done.

In fact, I’m embarrassed to say that I probably had not yet made that connection when I married my wonderful wife thirty-one years ago.  Love, to me, was a feeling, and any actions that could have been interpreted as love were probably more a result of trying to satisfy my own desires rather than hers. I was self-centered and immature into my early twenties. My only consolation is that most everyone my age was the same way.  All these years later, when I look around our world and examine its culture, it looks much the same to me.

Why is it this way?  Is it just a part of growing up?  Is it our culture?  Is it due to parenting in today’s society?  Do some parents work so hard to build the egos of their children that they become self-centered and live in a “me” world? 

With luck, young adults will have a unique defining moment that helps them to redefine what love means, that it’s an action word, a verb, and not just a feeling.

My defining moment didn’t happen with my marriage although I felt extreme love for my wife.  It wasn’t with the birth of my first child, either, although I had never felt new love like that before.  No.  It was the simple act of understanding the phrase, “Love is a verb”, that I read in a book by author Stephen Covey when I was trying to get control of my life during a very crazy period.  Quite simply, Covey wrote that if you want to feel more love, then you have to give more love.  Love is an action word.  It’s something you do.  What a novel idea for me at the time! 

Have you ever stopped to consider the idea of love being something you do, not just something you feel?

I like to think that, since then, I’ve grown up and learned a thing or two.  I wish I could somehow effectively teach teens, young adults, and others who’ve never before stopped to consider the concept, the definition of love as explained by C.S. Lewis in his book, Mere Christianity.  In his chapter on the theological virtue of Charity, Lewis writes,

“Charity means ‘Love, in the Christian sense’.  But love, in the Christian sense, does not mean an emotion.  It is a state not of the feelings but of the will; that state of the will which we have naturally about ourselves, and must learn to have about other people.  Christian Love for our neighbors is quite a different thing from liking or affection.  But, liking or [having] affection for people makes it easier to be charitable towards them.  Do not waste time bothering whether you ‘love’ your neighbor; act as if you did.  As soon as we do this we find one of the great secrets.  When you are behaving as if you loved someone, you will presently come to love them.” 

And, I would like to explore with those students what St. Paul wrote in his letter to the Romans,

“Be devoted to one another in brotherly love. Honor one another above yourselves.”  (Romans 12:10)

Fortunately for me, I was old enough for the meaning of ‘Love is a Verb’ to make some sense.  I started practicing this new idea.  Lo and behold, I noticed that my intentional efforts to do things to show my wife and children how much I loved them returned good results.  I felt more love from them.  But the biggest eye opener was something unexpected – the more I showed them love, the more love I felt for them.  The engineer that I am recognized this as exponential growth – a powerful thing.

How do you show love?  Have you received something in return which you never imagined would happen?

So, I rocked on for about twenty-five more years in this way, focusing on a loving relationship with those closest to me, my wife and four daughters, (who, I’m proud to say, are much more mature and responsible than I ever was at their age) and my extended family.  And, with just a few exceptions, that was about the extent of the loving in my life.  The people in that circle made up my world.  Oh, I had a few people I called friends, people at work and neighbors who I liked but they were not “loving” relationships under this new definition of love.

It has only been in the last 15 months, since my first Christ Renews weekend, that I’ve been able to truly extend my circle of love beyond my family.  Since then, my new extended family of my Catholic community has shown me example after example of love in action and I have been so blessed to have had opportunities to act with love for them, too.  And, over the last two weeks, I have felt God’s love, and Jesus’ presence next to me, more intensely than ever before.  I can’t help but believe there is a direct correlation between these feelings of love and peace, my time spent praying, and the reciprocating actions of love I have shared with family and friends.

Do you notice the noun version of “love” the more you practice the verb version of “love”?  Do you have an experience to share?

Good day and God Bless.