Tag Archives: Friendship

Practice Makes Perfect

10 Thursday Jul 2025

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In yesterday’s gospel, Mt 10:1-7, Jesus sent his apostles on mission to announce that the kingdom of heaven is near.  He specifically told them to go to the lost sheep of the house of Israel rather than to pagan territory and Samaritan towns.  This is in contrast to his instructions in Mt 28:19 when, after his resurrection, he commands them to “Go, therefore, and make disciples of all nations…”.  In both cases, Jesus is telling them, and us, to evangelize.  But why the difference?

It seems as though Jesus is giving the twelve a chance to practice evangelizing to those, who, unlike the pagans, already knew the teachings of the law of Moses and the prophets and would be more receptive to their message.  He knew that taking the Word to all nations would be much more difficult.  They needed to start slow and hone their skills along the way.

There is a message here for all of us, too, who, through our baptism, are also obligated to be evangelists on mission.  We need to continuously increase our knowledge and understanding of our faith, and become more skillful at professing it, before we can expect to be proficient at making disciples of all nations.  We need to begin with baby steps.  

The best way to do this is to spend time with our friends in conversation about our faith, discussing the message of the gospel and what it is saying to us. I’m sure the apostles spent time together out of earshot from Jesus discussing all that they were learning, and sharing what it meant to them. By sharing our thoughts and insights in small faith sharing groups, or faith-based conversations over a meal with friends, we strengthen our faith and grow in virtue, and are better prepared to articulate to others His message of salvation.

I’m sure your parish offers opportunities to gather with other men and women in small faith-sharing groups and Bible studies at which you can safely share what it is that you hear God saying to you, and listen to and learn from others about the graces they receive through prayer and service.  But, you don’t have to depend on your parish to organize groups or meetings.  You can simply start from scratch by inviting friends to your house for a meal, spend a relaxing Sunday afternoon getting to know each other better, and interjecting faith based conversation into the experience.  Do this enough and it will become second nature.  Whether you realize it or not, you will be evangelizing each other.  And, you will eliminate the fear that accompanies the prospect of evangelizing to people you don’t know.

“Lord Jesus, thank You for giving me insight into how to become a more effective evangelist, and for Your patience while I learn.  You know I can’t go from zero to sixty in three seconds, but need space and time to accelerate slowly.  You gave Your Apostles three years and even then they hesitated.  I pray for the grace to grab hold of the opportunities to evangelize when You place them before me.  Amen.”

(Practice Makes Perfect was first published on the blog Reflections of a Lay Catholic)

©2013-2025 Reflections of a Lay Catholic. Reposting and sharing of material in its full and original content is permitted, provided that full and clear credit is given to the author(s) and Reflections of a Lay Catholic.

Curious Like Nicodemus

29 Tuesday Apr 2025

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Jesus and Nicodemus, Crijn Hendricksz Volmarijn, c. early 1600s

The Gospels for yesterday and today (Jn 3:1-15), put us in the scene with Jesus and the renowned Pharisee, Nicodemus, who came to Jesus under the cover of darkness to ask questions about his ministry.  We are led to believe that Nicodemus must have seen or heard of Jesus’ healing miracles and wanted to learn more about him.  We know that Nicodemus eventually converted to be a secret follower of Jesus, so we can surmise that his curiosity was genuine and not a ploy to trap Jesus.

The fact that he came to meet Jesus at night may also give us a clue about his intentions.  A nighttime rendezvous would be less conspicuous.  If he was genuinely interested about Jesus, he may have feared being observed by other Pharisees that could result in his condemnation and rejection.  In his position, he would have accumulated wealth that supported a luxurious lifestyle, which would have been jeopardized if his clandestine meeting had been discovered.

When I placed myself in this scene, I pondered Nicodemus’ motive and his dilemma.  He had to satisfy his curiosity for truth, but the answer could result in his ruin.  His fear of the environment and exterior influences would ultimately cause him to lead a secret and unfulfilled life.

There are millions of Nicodemuses in our world today – men, women, and teens, who are searching for truth, who are curious about Christianity, and who would like to know more but, because of negative social influences, balk at publicly asking questions for fear of what others will think or what they might lose.  They are hiding out there in our workplaces, our schools, and our neighborhoods.  We should be looking and waiting for them with intentionality, ready to answer their questions and allay their fears.

When a modern day Nicodemus does muster the courage to step out and seek answers, he may simply want to learn more about Jesus, or he’s aware that there’s possibly a different set of beliefs and a better way to live than he’s ever experienced.  His curiosity may manifest itself by privately asking questions to a Christian friend or acquaintance.  When he does, he is giving us an opportunity to evangelize, and we need to respond utilizing good listening skills.  His questions may be phrased in ways that hide their real intent, and we may have to look behind the words.  We should not make stuff up, nor answer questions with excess theology.  He needs simple answers, and if we don’t know an answer, we should say so and endeavor to find the answer for him.  We should try to avoid vocabulary that is foreign to non-Catholics.

Like Nicodemus, his questions may appear antagonistic but probably aren’t meant to be so.  Instead, they are likely due to his personal cynicism and relativism that has developed over years.  He’s not ready to reveal that he’s on any kind of spiritual quest.  He is curious but cautious, and still needs to feel safe and unthreatened when asking questions.  We should respond in a friendly manner to increase the trust that has allowed him to ask questions in the first place.

Our gentle evangelizing should have an eye towards bringing this person from a a place of curiosity to being open to exploring the idea that God is a personal God rather than a concept, and that we can have a relationship with Him.  We can introduce him to Jesus and the story of His passion, death, and resurrection in atonement for our sins.  And we should be patient and pray for him, being grateful that, while he may not yet be making a commitment to spiritual or personal change, he no longer rejects the idea. 

“Heavenly Father, I thank You for the virtue of fortitude given to me with my Confirmation that has prepared me to proclaim the saving message of salvation of Your Son, Jesus.  May I ever be vigilant and prepared to welcome anyone who is curious about our Christian faith.  I pray that Your Spirit affords me the grace to respond to them lovingly with humility and gentleness.  Amen.”

(Curious Like Nicodemuswas first published on the blog Reflections of a Lay Catholic)

©2013-2025 Reflections of a Lay Catholic. Reposting and sharing of material in its full and original content is permitted, provided that full and clear credit is given to the author(s) and Reflections of a Lay Catholic.

I AM

10 Thursday Apr 2025

Posted by in Bible Reflections

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From 1968 to 1971 I spent my junior high and first year of high school in English grammar schools in the U.K.  My typical weekly class schedule was a far cry from what I’d received in American grade schools.  It included:  math, biology, chemistry, physics (not just one but all three), history, geography (not social studies), English, and one or more foreign languages.  I took French all three years, plus German as an 8th grader, and Latin in the 9th grade.  Unfortunately, none of it stuck with me.  One thing I do remember clearly, though, is conjugating verbs – first, second, and third person singular and plural, in past, present and future tenses.  In any language, we always began with the verb “To Be”, i.e., “I am” (first person singular present tense); “You were” (second person singular/plural past tense); and “They will” (third person plural future tense).  

I recalled this today while meditating on today’s Gospel from John 8:51-59, in which Jesus had an altercation with a group of Jews over the identity of their fathers:  God as the Father of Jesus, and Abraham as the father of the Jews.  Jesus states, “Amen, amen, I say to you, before Abraham came to be, I AM.”, effectively claiming that He was equal to God, (see Ex 3:14-15).  Because this was blasphemous to the Jews, they attempted to stone Him to death.

“I AM” – the first person singular present tense of the verb “To Be”.  Jesus speaks about Himself.  If we were talking to Jesus, we would say, “YOU ARE”.  If we were talking about Jesus to someone else, we would say, “HE IS”.  Jesus doesn’t say, “I WAS”, or “I WILL BE”, in the past or future tenses, and we can’t say about Him, “HE WAS”, or, “HE WILL BE”.  Jesus is simply, “I AM” day after day, moment after moment, with every tick of the second hand.  HE IS now, and HE IS again in the next moment.

We can’t think that Jesus was with us once, or that He will be with us one day to come.  No, He is with us only NOW, at this present moment, and every present moment to come. He is there with us in every present moment regardless if the circumstances of that moment are to our liking or not.

Don’t we often forget this, especially when times are tough?  When remembering events from the past that caused you grief, don’t you sometimes wonder, “Why was He not there when I needed Him?”  But, we forget that HE IS there, and if we had remembered this, we would have found comfort in His presence.  When we unite our crosses with His cross, He helps us carry ours.

Or, consider some dream you have of the future and how you will pat yourself on the back for thinking, “Wow, look what I accomplished!”  We forget that HE IS with us then, too, and that it is only through His grace that we will find that joy and satisfaction we now imagine.  

Whether it’s in good times or bad, when we lose the feeling of closeness with Jesus, we open a doorway allowing the Enemy to lead us down the wrong path.

How do we keep in mind that Jesus is with us at every moment, ready to answer our call?  The first and best way is through prayer.  Developing a habit of daily prayer keeps Him close to us. Prayers of praise, thanksgiving, and asking for His intercession are all ways to acknowledge His presence.  More effective yet is meditative prayer, when we take time to sit in silence and solitude, lovingly conversing with Him, telling Him what’s on our minds and hearts, and listening for His loving reassurance.  In this way, we readily remember all the times we’ve felt His presence, and reinforce our trust in Him in the present moment.  

Reading scripture, especially the Gospels, before entering into prayerful meditation is an excellent way to relate to Jesus and His love for us.  During this time of closeness, we receive the graces and mercy we need to persevere through our anxieties.  And when we act on these promptings of grace by adopting a resolution to change or accept our situation, we again grow in trust with Him.

When we receive the Sacraments of the Eucharist and Reconciliation, we immediately feel His presence. The Eucharist gives us supernatural strength to combat sin in our lives.  But then, when we fall and regret our actions, we can turn back to Him in the Sacrament of Reconciliation, be restored and experience His merciful love.  

Remembering that our Lord works in us through our interpersonal relationships helps us feel His presence, also.  A network of faithful friends accompanying each other provides a source of encouragement and support when times get tough.  It can keep us grounded, reminding us to be grateful to God.

“Dear Jesus, I know deep in my heart that You are always by my side.  My faith can get clouded when the world challenges me, and even when everything is going my way.  Help me, Lord, to remember You, to meet You each and every day through prayer and frequent reception of the Sacraments.  I love You, Jesus, and I know You love me.  Amen.” 

(I AM was first published on the blog Reflections of a Lay Catholic)

©2013-2025 Reflections of a Lay Catholic. Reposting and sharing of material in its full and original content is permitted, provided that full and clear credit is given to the author(s) and Reflections of a Lay Catholic.

You’re the Best!

23 Monday Sep 2024

Posted by in Bible Reflections

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In yesterday’s Gospel, Mark 9:30-37, we find Jesus journeying through Galilee with His disciples on their way to Capernaum.  Along the way the disciples are arguing about which of them is the greatest in the Kingdom.  As I reflected on this passage, I could imagine how that conversation went.  John tells Peter, “Hey, bro, you’re the best!”, and Peter replies, “No way, you are!”.  Then James looks at them both and says, “Hey, Philip is the greatest!”, and Philip replies, “Uh uh, Andrew is!

What?  You don’t think this is the way it went?  You think their egos were claiming that they personally were the greatest in the Kingdom?  Yeah, you’re probably right.  Most likely, they each thought their faith was stronger, their actions were more charitable, they worked harder than the other.  Not much has changed in two thousand years, has it?

Our pride does this to us.  We have the need for accomplishment, to feel relevant, to feel worthy, to feel validated by our friends and family, our co-workers.  And when we don’t get what we think we deserve, our egos self inflate as a defense mechanism.  We may not tell another that we’re better than they are, but we certainly feel that way much of the time.  We easily see their faults but neglect to see our own.  Jesus pointed this out when He told us to remove the beam from our own eye and then we will be able to remove the splinter from the eye of our brother (Matthew 7:5).

But what if it wasn’t that way?  What if we ditched our pride and put on a cloak of humility and actually recognized the positive attributes of others and praised them for their goodness?  I’m not talking about false patronizing praise, the kind that makes you want to throw up.  I’m talking about sincere, honest, heart-felt recognition for the dignity of the other, the kind of charity that values another over one’s self.  It’s not just possible, it actually happens.

This is the kind of loving relationship you find when a group of Christians spend time together growing in friendship, getting to know each other on a deep level.  Sure, they know each other’s faults but it’s because the person owning the fault has the self-knowledge and humility to share their weaknesses with their friends.  And those friends, rather than rub it in, help the other overcome and improve.  In a relationship like this, each knows their validation comes from the Lord, that they are a beloved son or daughter of God.  And because of this, they can love as Jesus loved, placing another ahead of themselves without any anxiety about their worth.

Friendship like this can be found in small Bible study groups; with friends who frequently share hospitality; and, especially, those who pray together.  It’s the kind of respect and love you find between members on a retreat team such as Christ Renews His Parish, Welcome, or Cursillo.  It’s the kind of love that brought me to an encounter with Jesus and has helped sustain me for the last twelve years.  It’s life-giving friendship that makes life worth living for everyone involved.  Your parish probably offers opportunities to become involved in ways in which you can experience love like this.  Get you some!

“Heavenly Father, thank You for the life to which You have brought me.  Thank You for the men and women You’ve placed in my life who have invested in me and accompanied me on my journey to You. I pray for the grace to help others do the same.  Amen.” 

(You’re the Best!, was first published on the blog Reflections of a Lay Catholic)

©2013-2024 Reflections of a Lay Catholic. Reposting and sharing of material in its full and original content is permitted, provided that full and clear credit is given to the author(s) and Reflections of a Lay Catholic.

Evangelization Happens at the Pace of Relationship

11 Wednesday Sep 2024

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In just over a week autumn will be here and summer will officially be over.  With school starting, most parishes have wrapped up their festival season, had their parish picnics, and are beginning to prepare for the season of Advent.

Our parish family had its picnic in August.  (Perhaps I need to explain what I mean by “parish family”.  We have a priest shortage forcing our Archdiocese to combine parishes into parish families.  Our “family” consists of two established churches whose boundaries abut each other.)  To help transition from two parishes into one canonical parish with two campuses, we had one picnic for both churches.  

I made it a point to wander around and meet people I didn’t know and to get reacquainted with folks I hadn’t seen in a while.  I saw one couple whom I had not seen in four or five years sitting alone.  They regularly attend the church that I don’t usually attend.  They were eating their meal so I sat down with my plate of food and we reconnected.  I asked them how long they had been parishioners and they replied they’d been there about nine years.  I said, “You must know a lot of folks here, then.”  They looked at each other and replied, “No, not really.”  I responded, “That’s too bad, do you feel welcome here?”  They again exchanged glances and replied, “No, not really.”

Sadly, this is not an uncommon sentiment by many parishioners.  I’ve met too many people who feel the same.  They’ve attended church for years but have made no real friends.  People from the church I regularly attend have confided the same to me.  My family has experienced this with our many relocations.  And these days, because my wife and I travel often, we attend Mass at more than a dozen different churches each year and it’s rare that anyone takes the time to welcome our unfamiliar faces.

It’s easy for us to say that those who feel unwelcome are partly responsible due to their own introvertedness.  But that doesn’t excuse the rest of us.  We’re not all introverted, but even those who are can learn to be extroverted when called to be such.

By virtue of our faith we are all called to reach out to others and build up the body of Christ, the Church.  In other words, we are called to evangelize.  And evangelization happens at the pace of relationship.  Relationships are begotten when we intentionally meet and get to know each other.  Relationships build trust, and being trusted is essential when we are trying to proclaim the Gospel and bring others to, or closer to, Jesus.

Evangelization is often considered to be something we only do outside the church doors, to the un-churched.  We need to change our thinking.  We have to evangelize within our church family as well.  At any moment, parishioners like those I met at the picnic may decide that if they don’t meet anyone this Sunday, they’re gone!  Tragically, Catholics are leaving the faith in droves, partly because they do not feel welcome.  It’s a problem our Catholic culture has to overcome if we want to survive.  We have to get beyond the idea that our only responsibility is to attend mass each week and go to confession once a year.  Our Creed says we are “One”.  We need to start acting like we are all One family and loving the other as they deserve and need to be loved.  

We are called to be merciful like Jesus was merciful.  That includes practicing the Spiritual Work of Mercy of comforting the sorrowful.  We can’t keep looking past people like they are invisible, rather we have to understand that many are struggling, and that not everything is copacetic in their lives.  People going through a tough time need a listening ear.  A friendly smile and welcoming conversation can turn a difficult day into one of joy and hope.  The making of a new friend can end a life of loneliness.  And personally, the next new person you intentionally meet might just be your next best friend, the someone you need but just don’t know it yet.

Make it a point to meet someone new this Sunday or at your next parish activity.  Be intentional.  Attend a different mass, sit in a different pew, look for that spot in a pew next to someone you don’t know.  Then, after Mass, turn to them with an outreached hand and introduce yourself.  When they respond, take the conversation from there, listening to learn more about them.  It’s not that hard and you’ll be glad you gave it a try.

“Come Holy Spirit, rekindle in me and all those who have been Confirmed the virtue of fortitude to get out of our comfort zones and seek out those who need us.  Help us to look beyond ourselves and commit to bringing the love of Christ to others.  I thank You, Lord, for all those you have placed in my life who have reached out with a friendly hand and a comforting smile and made me feel a welcome member of our Catholic family.  Amen.”

(Evangelization Happens at the Pace of Relationship, was first published on the blog Reflections of a Lay Catholic)

©2013-2024 Reflections of a Lay Catholic. Reposting and sharing of material in its full and original content is permitted, provided that full and clear credit is given to the author(s) and Reflections of a Lay Catholic.

Biscuits and Gravy

11 Thursday Apr 2024

Posted by in Evangelization, Faith, Friendship

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My southern-raised grandmother had a saying when she received something good over and above what she expected:  “Well, isn’t that just gravy on the biscuit!”.  This Lent our parish offered a faith-filled “biscuit” and got a heaping ladle of “gravy” thrown in.

Approximately ninety parishioners and parishioners-to-be gathered to experience The Rescue Project, a faith-building/evangelization program.   Participants sat at the same table of eight, and, over eight weeks, filled their bellies with good food and their minds and souls with delicious “biscuits” – an expected deeper understanding of our Catholic faith.

The “gravy” came in the form of evangelizing through developing friendships.  Many at the tables were strangers to each other, so table leaders had to be intentional about creating an inviting atmosphere for everyone to comfortably share their personal insights and what they received from the presentations.  This intentionality had to stem from a genuine interest in the other person and a desire to get to know their story.  With each successive week, participants became more comfortable and trusting, laughed and cried together, and became close friends.  Since the program ended, table members have arranged to meet for meals, for prayer, and have stayed in touch supporting each other in their daily walk with Christ.  

Everyone who attended The Rescue Project came to be inspired in their faith, and they left with much more – new friends with whom they could share their love for Jesus.  But, those ninety folks are not unique in the world.  There are millions just like them eager for friendship and the chance to tell their story if only someone is interested enough to listen. They are in our parishes, our neighborhoods, and our workplaces.  They are the people sitting next to you in the church pew, or the new parishioner who’s just moved to town and doesn’t know anyone.  They could be someone who is lost and despairing, who is blindly looking for salvation.  God put you in their path on purpose.

To be missionary disciples, we need to intentionally seek opportunities to be friends who can bring others to Christ.  We need to be welcoming and hospitable, and help others find joy in the world by delighting in them and helping them feel relevant, that they are beloved sons and daughters of God.  God made us for each other.  He shows His love for us through other people.  Your next best friend may just be the person you’re about to meet.  Delight in them.  Be the “gravy” on their “biscuit”.

“Heavenly Father, thank You for the gift of faith, for the gift of friendship, and the opportunity to bring the two together.  Thank You for Fr. John Riccardo and his ACTS XXIX team for developing The Rescue Project.  Thank you for putting it on the hearts of so many in our parish to participate and bring the love of Christ to others.  Amen.”

(Biscuits and Gravy was first published on the blog Reflections of a Lay Catholic)

©2013-2024 Reflections of a Lay Catholic. Reposting and sharing of material in its full and original content is permitted, provided that full and clear credit is given to the author(s) and Reflections of a Lay Catholic.

Faith is Personal…but Should Never Be Private

26 Tuesday Mar 2024

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Jesus Sends the Apostles – Duccio di Buoninsegna, c.1300

We all know people who claim to believe in God but then won’t talk about it.  They clam up and say their faith is personal…end of discussion.  They are right, one’s faith is, and should be, personal.  But Jesus never intended for it to be private.  He tells us in the Gospels to go and be disciples.  How can we evangelize if we keep our faith private?

The most common excuse for keeping one’s faith private may be that the basics were never learned well enough in the first place to share it with, or defend it before, others.  One can easily deflect blame onto one’s teachers or parents, but to remain in this state is to succumb to the deadly vice of sloth, which is a laziness or a lack of love for the ways of God. The virtue opposing sloth is diligence, which may simply mean spending a little time each day learning more about one’s faith through daily prayer, reading scripture or other Catholic publications, or listening to Catholic television, radio, or podcasts, all of which can help us increase our understanding of our faith.

Another is our failure to fully understand and accept the graces we received at our Confirmation.  The infusion of the Holy Spirit supernaturally strengthened the virtue of fortitude within us, enabling us to share in the mission of Jesus Christ to spread and defend our faith.  Like a child who receives affirmation from a parent over a good behavior continues to improve in that behavior, we, too, simply have to believe we already possess what we need.

And, finally, the exigencies of modern life can make us forget that we need other people. Jesus didn’t live as a hermit.  He gathered family and friends with whom He shared life.  St. Paul urged the Corinthians to not live their faith privately but in community with one another.  Like an ember that falls away from a fire and dies out, we can grow cold if we don’t stay close to others who are on fire with their faith, and others can grow cold if we don’t bring our fire to them.

To effectively evangelize, we can’t be passive.  We have to actively learn, strengthen our relationship with Jesus through prayer and study, and build friendships with those whose fires need stoking.

“Lord Jesus, I pray for the grace to love You more dearly, and to exercise the grace which You’ve already bestowed on me in my Confirmation to bear fruit for Your Kingdom. Amen.”

(Faith is Personal…but Should Never be Private was first published on the blog Reflections of a Lay Catholic)

©2013-2024 Reflections of a Lay Catholic. Reposting and sharing of material in its full and original content is permitted, provided that full and clear credit is given to the author(s) and Reflections of a Lay Catholic.

Relationship vs. Religion

09 Saturday Mar 2024

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In many previous posts I’ve mentioned the need to develop a close personal relationship with Jesus through prayer, especially mental prayer or mediation, in order to make our evangelizing authentic.  In prayer, we spend time with Jesus, we converse, and we build a friendship with Him that becomes so exciting that we want to introduce Him and share Him with others!  

As Catholics, we are fortunate to be able to claim two thousand years of tradition in our lineage.  We are the original Church, instituted by Christ Himself, and built on the rock of Peter.  We have thousands of saints to whom we can look as role models: men and women who performed incredible acts of charity, who evangelized savage cultures at the risk of losing their lives, and who staunchly defended their faith and were martyred. Our faith is deep, and we have a plethora of books, magazines, podcasts, television, videos, and speakers to help us learn and go deeper into the finer details of Catholicism.  It’s all good and exciting stuff and we can easily get lost in it.  So lost, in fact, that we can begin to think that our religion, our Catholicity, is first and foremost.  And, when we do, Jesus gets relegated to the back seat.  Our excitement about Catholicism becomes a hinderance to actually promoting Jesus. 

If we read the Gospels closely, we see the popularity of Jesus.  People heard of his miracles, and they flocked to Him.  They were cured of sickness and demons, and, as they told more people about Him, more and more people followed Him everywhere He went.  During Jesus’ public ministry, His disciples didn’t tell people to come join them in a new religion.  The term Christianity was not coined until a few decades later.  Rather, they simply invited them to encounter Jesus.  People got excited about Jesus and not some new religion.

If we’re not careful, we can fall into the trap of thinking we are evangelizing when, instead, we are selling Catholicism rather than sharing our love for Jesus, and hoping that an interest in Him will ensue.  We have it backwards.  We ought to follow the example of the Apostles and invite people to meet Jesus.  Once they find and get excited about Him, then we can introduce them to the beauty and truth of our Catholic faith.

How do I know this?  Because it worked on me.

“Dear Jesus, thank You for Your love, for drawing me closer to You each day.  I love You, and in our friendship, Your love overflows so that I may offer it to others who may not know You…yet. Amen.”

(Relationship vs. Religion was first published on the blog Reflections of a Lay Catholic)

©2013-2024 Reflections of a Lay Catholic. Reposting and sharing of material in its full and original content is permitted, provided that full and clear credit is given to the author(s) and Reflections of a Lay Catholic.

Be an Ambassador for Christ

29 Wednesday Nov 2023

Posted by in Christian Life

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It’s been a while since my last post, and tonight seems like a good time to make amends. I’m going to do something new – reach back into my “draft” file and dust off one of the many unfinished reflections which never got posted because I ran out of time.  This one took shape back in September but I don’t think it’s lost any relevance in the two months it’s sat incubating.

Be an Ambassador for Christ

One of my responsibilities as an alumni staff member at the Catholic Spiritual Mentorship Program in Kansas City is to be hospitable and get to know as many of the participants as I can.  Since much of our days are structured, we have to be intentional about taking advantage of breaks and mealtimes to get to know one another. 

I thought I’d done a decent job of meeting everyone, but today I found myself at the coffee bar standing behind Charlie and Julie, husband and wife, a couple with whom I’d not yet had the pleasure of officially meeting.  I realized that this week of classes would be over in two days and I’d probably never see them again.  Then and there I thought, “I need to get to know these folks”.  So, I waited for Charlie to fill his cup and then said, “Charlie, I apologize but we’ve spent all this time together in the same building and we haven’t had a chance to talk.  Let’s change that and have lunch together.”  He and Julie both lit up with smiles and replied they would like that very much.  

We walked and talked on our way to the dining hall and I learned a little about them.  I said I wanted to hear their story and was surprised to hear Julie say that they already knew much of mine because someone had introduced them to this blog.  Then, over lunch we had a beautiful conversation.  Charlie and Julie shared some of their personal life with me, their love for Jesus and their desire to lead others closer to Him.  Like the spiritual mentors they are training to be, they asked me good questions that prompted me to share more of my story with them, too.  

Charlie and Julie are very nice people with warm smiles and gentle eyes.  Like many folks, however, they are slightly uncomfortable in meeting new people and making the first move to initiate a conversation.  But, all it took was someone to take the initiative, to be intentional, and to express an interest in them, and they were ready to welcome a new friend.

Charlie and Julie are not unique in this world,  There are millions of people just like them who are eager for friendship and the chance to tell their story if only someone would be interested enough to listen.  These people are not elsewhere. They are in our parishes, our neighborhoods and our workplaces.  They are the people sitting next to you in the church pew, or the new parishioner who’s just moved to town and doesn’t know anyone.  They could be someone who is lost and despairing, and God put you in their path on purpose.

As Catholics, we need to be ambassadors of friendship.  We need to be Ambassadors for Christ.  We need to be welcoming and hospitable and help others find happiness in the world by delighting in them and helping them feel relevant, and affirming that they are beloved sons and daughters of God.

To take the first step in becoming an Ambassador for Christ, it may require you to get out of your comfort zone.  You may need to prepare by thinking, “I’m going to intentionally meet someone new today!”  When you do, you’ll need the courage to reach out for a handshake and say, “Hi, I’m [name], I don’t think we’ve met before.  What’s your name?”  You may need to be ready with a follow-up question that will propagate the conversation such as (if they are new in the parish), “Oh,  welcome, we’re glad to have you!  Where are you from?”  It’s actually pretty simple.  Some of my closest friendships began just this way.

Although your next best friend might just be the person you’re about to meet, you don’t have to approach someone with the intention of becoming best friends.  One can enter into a friendship with nothing in common except knowing that you have a shared love for our Lord.  A friendship such as this allows you to open up about your successes and struggles in your walk with Jesus.  It’s a friendship in which you accompany each other on your journeys. 

Each one of us can have a spiritual friendship with another person.  Whether we admit it or not, we need each other.  God made us for each other.  He shows His love for us through other people.  We just have to seek and be open to opportunities, be open to where and to whom the holy Spirit is leading us, and invest in another person by listening to their story.

Charlie and Julie and I spent less than an hour together.  We may never see each other again.  But I know we could pick up the conversation right where we left off.  The friendship we built in those few minutes will endure.  I think we brought each other just a little bit closer to Christ.  I am grateful for the grace to get out of my comfort zone and meet someone new, and I’m grateful to Charlie and Julie for enriching my life by sharing their story with me.  

Charlie and Julie, peace to you both, my friends!  I know your love for Jesus and others will enable you to be amazing Ambassadors for Christ.  God bless!

“Dear God, thank You for the grace to set aside my personal discomfort and introverted-ness to become a better missionary disciple, an Ambassador for Your Son, Jesus.  May the examples I set encourage others to also reach out and become Ambassadors who in turn will proclaim the Good News of the Gospel.  Amen.”

(Be an Ambassador for Christ was first published on the blog Reflections of a Lay Catholic)

©2013-2023 Reflections of a Lay Catholic. Reposting and sharing of material in its full and original content is permitted, provided that full and clear credit is given to the author(s) and Reflections of a Lay Catholic.

Heart Emoji Colors for Catholics

26 Monday Jun 2023

Posted by in Love

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A good friend and I often text each other about parish functions and she occasionally includes a colored heart emoji within her text.  A couple months ago she responded to a text of mine and it included a blue heart emoji.  I couldn’t remember ever getting any message with anything but a red heart emoji so I wondered, “why blue?”  I did an internet search on what the different colored emojis mean and, whoa!, I wasn’t prepared for what I found.

The first site I went to indicated that a blue heart alluded to a desire for BDSM (bondage, discipline, sadism, masochism).  I won’t even mention what the other colors signified. Then I realized I was looking at a site devoted strictly to sexual connotations.  (Don’t get any ideas, we are both happily married to our own spouses!)  Continuing on to two other sites, I read where blue indicates trust, confidence and loyalty. Phew, that sounded much better!

In perusing the various sites I found that each color has a general, but not universal, loosely accepted meaning.  For example: Green might mean jealousy; Purple, sensitivity; Yellow, happiness; and, of course, Red universally means true love; but there are no consistently recognized conventions for each color.  

Well if that’s the case, I thought, why can’t I devise an emoji color scheme for Catholics?  It might catch on or at least keep my good friend out of trouble.

The heart symbol is synonymous with a feeling of love for something.  In our faith, we know that love means more than just a feeling, and love takes a different form depending on the object of our love.  To begin, we can fall back on the four types of love expressed by the Greeks:  Eros, or Romantic love; Storge, or Familial love; Philia, or Friendship; and Agape, Unselfish love for mankind (enemies included) because they are simply children of God. 

Let’s start with Eros, romantic, passionate love. No question about it, it has to be red.
The love we have for our family ought to be green. It’s fresh and fun and is always growing.
I like what others say about blue – a friend is loyal, someone in whom you have confidence, someone you can trust.
Yellow should be for Agape love – warm and caring for our fellow humans, and a love that desires the other’s good.
Orange makes me think of autumn leaves, pumpkins, and Thanksgiving. This heart should be used to express love and gratitude to someone for the gifts they bring, especially to show your gratitude for how God has worked in your life.
Purple is the color of the priest’s vestments worn during reconciliation and so this heart has to be used to express forgiveness from one person to another.
In Catholic tradition, the fourth Sunday of Lent is called Laetare Sunday, or Joyful Sunday, and rose colored vestments are worn. Thus, the pink, or rose, colored heart ought to be used to express joy.
And to wrap things up, the black heart needs to be used to express sorrow for another’s loss.

What do you think?  We need some morality and consistency among Christians when using emojis.  We can’t just attach any color emoji to a text or social media post without making it mean something.  And, when the uninformed (the rest of the world) questions why you used a color that they think means something different, you can correct them and even use it as an opportunity to evangelize!

Share this with everyone you know.  Let’s get the word out and take back the internet!  Can I get an “Amen”?

(Heart Emoji Colors for Catholics was first published on the blog Reflections of a Lay Catholic)

©2013-2023 Reflections of a Lay Catholic. Reposting and sharing of material in its full and original content is permitted, provided that full and clear credit is given to the author(s) and Reflections of a Lay Catholic.