Coping with Sacrifice and Sadness Through a Month of Holy Saturdays

22 Sunday Mar 2020

Tags

Communion, Coronavirus, Covid-19, Eucharist, Holy Saturday, Hosea 6:1-6, Rosary, Sacrifice, Spiritual Communion

Earlier this week the bishops in most dioceses in the United States, if not all, decided to suspend all public masses and other sacramental gatherings through Holy Week, including Easter Sunday, as a means to minimize the spread of the Coronavirus. Like most of you, I have had mixed feelings. I know the “social distancing” directions which are currently imposed on us are the right thing to do. But, to be forced to go without receiving our Lord in the Holy Sacrifice of the Mass is a hard pill to swallow. I can accept the trial of staying home Monday through Saturday and missing daily mass. I don’t want to but I can live with it. But, missing Sunday, and especially missing Easter Sunday, the celebration of our Lord’s resurrection, will be difficult.

Priests and bishops around the country have done a marvelous job, in my opinion, of producing podcasts and live streaming videos of their personal masses from their rectory chapels. They are also televising the praying of the Rosary and Divine Mercy Chaplets and going the extra mile to keep the faithful engaged. But, it’s still not the same.

A young priest, Fr. Jeffrey Starkovich from Lake Charles, Louisiana (and a high school classmate of my daughters), posted on his Facebook page the other day an anecdote, if you will, that helped me wrap my mind around this emptiness. He said:

“Every priest acknowledges a powerful reality when we say the words of our consecration at Holy Mass. We take the bread into our hands and say, ‘This is my Body, which will be given up for you.’ The priest has a unique perspective at that moment. Indeed, he gives up his own body to make the Body of Christ present: celibacy for the Kingdom, obedience to his bishop or superior, and availability to his people night and day, just to name a few.

“Today was hard. I sat in my empty parish church when mass was normally scheduled to be held…but the church was empty. Why? Because, ‘This is my Body, which will be given up for you.’ Now [you] the lay faithful exercise a particular sacrifice in their priesthood of the baptized. You are being asked to sacrifice your body, your physical presence at mass, to protect the Body of Christ at large. Now, you, too, are being asked to make a sacrificial gift.

“When you watch the priest raise the Host from your tablet or cell phone and he says, ‘This is my Body,’ you have something to give up, too. You give up your physical presence in the church. In that moment, you are giving up your body for the Body of Christ. That’s what priests do, too.”

I have tried to keep his words in mind as I’ve tuned in to live streamed masses each day this week. In watching the televised masses, praying and participating in the Liturgy of the Word, reading the scripture passages, and meditating on the homilies, we have everything but the Eucharist, the food that nourishes our souls, the source and summit of our faith. But, as a substitute for the physical communion with our Lord in the Eucharist, we are offered a special prayer by which we can express our love for Jesus and which brings us into “spiritual” communion with Him. The prayer is as follows:

Oh my Jesus, I believe that You are present in the Most Holy Sacrament. I love You above all things, and I desire to receive You into my soul. Since I cannot at this moment receive You sacramentally, come at least spiritually into my heart. I embrace You as if You were already there and unite myself wholly to You. Never permit me to be separated from You. Amen.

Receiving spiritual communion in this way through televised masses has relieved some of my uneasiness. Although, I still feel as a friend mentioned to me today, “This must be what Purgatory is like: you can see the celebration of the mass happening, but you just can’t receive Jesus.”

For a long time, I have faithfully recited a Rosary each day and praying for Mary’s intercession has been most helpful to me in staying close to Jesus. A friend and mentor, Fr. Alessandro Borraccia, posted in a Facebook video some consoling words:

“These are hard times. These are times when we feel like the Apostles who didn’t really know what to think when Jesus was taken from them. Do you remember there was that time on Holy Saturday when Jesus is dead, the Son of God is dead, and the Apostles are confused and angry and their hope is crushed? They don’t know how to respond. They are sad. Jesus is not with them. Where is He?

“You know, maybe we have the same sense of loss now that we can’t participate in the Eucharist. We can not receive our Lord, at least sacramentally. Yes, we can receive Him through this beautiful practice of spiritual communion. Yes, we can see a lot of live streamed masses but we know it’s different.

“So, what did the Apostles do? The Apostles relied on Mary and her faith. Holy Saturday is a time when the Church relies heavily upon the faith of Mary, upon her prayer, because she knows and she keeps everyone together, all her children. We, like the Beloved disciple, have been entrusted to her.

“And, so, these times are the same for us, when we feel the same loss, confusion, anger, sadness. It’s a time for us to rely heavily on the faith of Mary, asking Mary, ‘How did you do it? What was going on in your heart, your sorrowful heart? What can you teach me today in my situation?’

“The Rosary is a great prayer. Maybe just sit in front of an image or a statue of her and have a heart to heart with her: ‘Mary, teach me. I’m living in a very prolonged Holy Saturday. There must be a way to stay intimate with Him, to feel His consolation. Like a good mother, you know how to take care of your children and to soothe their pain, to find words of consolation, and whisper those little words of love.’

“In this time, I encourage all of us to turn back to Mary to ask her to protect us, to teach us how to seek the Lord when He is missing, when the Eucharist, the food for our journey, has been taken away from us. And, so, in this communion we can bring fruit, we can be good disciples, good apostles, and go through all situations of life, strengthened by the faith of Mary our Mother, by the faith of our Church, by the prayer that we, the Church as the Body of Christ, raise up to God together in time of distress. And, so, before we know it, a long time will pass. We don’t know how long. But, resurrection will come and we will be so different, strengthened by the faith of the Church.”

Today’s Scripture also provided some relief. In the first reading, Hos 6:1-6, we hear God, through the prophet Hosea, reprimand the Israelites for practicing ritual sacrifices and burnt offerings but with only a “piety as thin as a morning mist, like a dew that early passes away.” This reminded me that I, first and foremost, need to love and trust in God. I know He wants to give Himself to me in the Eucharist, but, aside from that sacrifice, He wants, above all, a loving relationship with me. Through my spiritual communion and daily prayer I can give Him my heart-felt love without receiving him personally in the Eucharist. I find comfort in that.

Like you, brothers and sisters, I pray this Coronavirus pandemic ends soon. I would like for life to return to normal. But, in the mean time, I will use this time to deepen my faith through study, and grow in my relationships with Christ through prayer and meditation, and with my family. I hope you will, too. Who knows, perhaps it will lead to a new normal that will be better than what we had! That would be nice.

God bless you all. Wash your hands. Stay home. Stay healthy.

“Lord God, thank You for the many blessings in my life. Thank You for the love You give that nourishes my soul. I pray that your absence in the Holy Eucharist will help me to love You more. And, thank You for the situation we currently find ourselves in. I don’t know why it is happening, nor how long it will last. But, I believe that You do and that You will bring about good for those who trust in You. Amen.”

(Coping with Sacrifice and Sadness Through a Month of Holy Saturdays, was first published on the blog Reflections of a Lay Catholic)

©2013-2020 Reflections of a Lay Catholic. Reposting and sharing of material in its full and original content is permitted, provided that full and clear credit is given to the author(s) and Reflections of a Lay Catholic.

Understanding God’s Will for Marriage

06 Wednesday Mar 2019

Posted by Jerry Robinson in Love, Marriage

≈ 2 Comments

Tags

Jn17:17, Love, Marriage, Mk10:6-8, Psalm 119, Sacrifice, Sacrificial Love, Selfishness, Sirach 6:5-17, Theology of the Body

The other day I was reading a pamphlet published by the Knights of Columbus Catholic Information Service entitled God’s Plan for Love and Marriage written by Dr. Edward Sri. In his introduction he notes that fifty percent of marriages end in divorce. But, he chose to focus on the “other fifty percent”, those marriages that stay together. He asked the question, “How are those marriages doing? Are they thriving?…Are the husbands and wives really happy in their marriage?…Do their relationships, day in and day out, reflect the total, committed, sacrificial love of Jesus Christ?”

My marriage to my wife of 36 years falls into that “other fifty percent” category so, quite naturally, I stopped and pondered those questions. I felt very satisfied with the answers and truly blessed for our loving relationship. I realized, though, that the answers to the first three questions were positive because the answer to the last question was positive. Until I became Catholic thirty years into our marriage, that aspect of marriage, unfortunately, hadn’t crossed my mind.

When I made my vow at age 25 I was still fairly naive and immature, and couldn’t see the future past next week. But, I was madly in love with that beautiful young woman and wanted to spend the rest of my life with her.

I wouldn’t understand it for another thirty years but one of the best things that could have happened to me was that she was Catholic and we were married in her parish church. I truly believe that God, through that Holy Sacrament, before Him in His house, gave us the grace to persevere through “better or worse” and to grow in love through the years. It’s why I can look my wife in the eye and honestly say, “I love you more today than the day we were married!”

Last Friday, March 1st, was one of those days when I was able to connect the scripture passages from the Liturgy – the O.T. reading, Psalm, Alleluia, and the Gospel – to a common theme, and reflecting on them helped me align many thoughts about marriage. I know there have been tens of thousands of books written on the subject of marriage and why so many marriages fail, but I want to broach the subject if for no other reason than for my own edification. And, who knows, maybe it will help you in supporting a young couple planning to get married or a struggling, already married, couple.

In the Alleluia, Jesus prays to the Father, “Consecrate them [the Apostles] in the truth. Your word is truth.” (Jn 17:17, NAB) Consecrate means to set them apart as priestly, or to be ordained, with their lives devoted to God. A priest’s life of devotion is his vocation, and its purpose is to do God’s will.

In Mark’s Gospel, Jesus corrects the Pharisees on their interpretation of divorce by saying, “From the beginning of creation, ‘God made them male and female. For this reason a man shall leave his father and mother [and be joined to his wife], and the two shall become one flesh’ So, they are no longer two but one flesh.” (Mk10:6-8, NAB) God takes two people and unites them into one flesh. Two things cannot be truly united if they work against each other instead of for each other. Thus, this union of two into one consists of a consecration, a declaration that their lives will be devoted to each other. And, living a life of devotion is a vocation with its purpose to do God’s will.

Just as “God’s will” didn’t cross my mind on my wedding day, it still doesn’t cross the minds of many couples before they enter into matrimony. Why is that? Well, I don’t think “God’s will”, is understood.

Thankfully, Pope John Paul II, in his Theology of the Body gives us a hand. Keeping it simple: God, who is pure unselfish love, created us in His image and likeness, that is to love unselfishly like Him. John Paul II calls this “self-giving” love. It is love that is 100 percent directed toward the good of the other. That is “God’s will” for us in marriage, to unselfishly give of ourselves for the good of our spouse.

Unfortunately, we each have an attitude of selfishness within us which, for many, may be too entrenched to be easily turned around. Why is that? John Paul II tells us it goes back to the Fall, when Adam and Eve realized their nakedness; when they suddenly realized their shame and became more concerned about themselves than each other. Their “self-giving” love became, as Dr. Sri calls it, “self-getting” love.

This selfishness is the root of most marital problems. As I look back on my own marriage I can see where most of our growing pains were caused by our (well, mostly my own) selfishness, an unwillingness to share emotionally, allowing worldly things to come before our need to be physically present to each other, and our lopsided faith.

You ask, “If this is a result of the original Fall of Man, then what can we do about it?” Well, it takes effort, and the hardest work of all, of course, is seeing within ourselves that which needs to be changed and then making the change for the good of another. And, it takes faith in God for the grace to make it work as perfectly as it should.

This brings me, then, to the Psalm, (Ps 119:12,16,18,27,34-35, NAB). The psalmist is asking God to, “teach me Your statutes” (v.12). He eagerly wants to know God’s will. He will take delight in them and “never forget Your word.” (v.16). He wants to see the wonder and beauty of them clearly (v.18). He wants to understand them so he can ponder them (v. 27), and then, “observe them with all my heart” (v.34), “for that is my delight” (v.35).

Therein lies the key to a successful marriage. We all know that life is never perfect, it never goes exactly as planned. It’s hard work and we struggle to make it better. Marriage is the same. The secret is to delight in loving selflessly with all our heart. Unfortunately, our human desire for selfish personal pleasure so easily overrides our desire to give of ourselves that husbands and wives often give up on trying to overcome it. And, without prayer for God’s divine assistance in their marriage, it is even more difficult.

Finally, I come to the first reading, Sirach 6:5-17. In this passage, the author talks about friendship; how to choose your friends cautiously and assuredly; the troubles that come with choosing the wrong friends; and the beauty of finally choosing good and faithful friends. He writes: “Faithful friends are a sturdy shelter; whoever finds one finds a treasure. Faithful friends are beyond price, no amount can balance their worth. Faithful friends are life-saving medicine; those who fear God will find them. Those who fear the Lord enjoy stable friendship, for as they are, so will their neighbors be.” (Sir 6:14-17)

Reading these words a second time, I replaced the word “friends” with the word, “spouse”. It all made sense. Many marriages fail because couples rush to be married before they invest themselves in knowing each other well. They don’t look in the mirror – they want all the attributes mentioned above from their partner, but fail to own and exhibit the same attributes themselves. And finally, but most importantly, they fail to trust in the Lord to help them be the spouses they need to be – husbands and wives who persevere with patience, who are prudent, who are just to one another, and who have the fortitude to love each other unselfishly.

I know every young couple wants their marital bliss to last forever. The reality, however, is that it doesn’t. The initial happiness and feeling of “being in love” wears off and husband and wife fall back into patterns of selfishness. There’s only one way to effectively turn it around and that’s through sacrificial love.

And this brings me back to the question at the beginning: “Do their relationships reflect the total, committed, sacrificial love of Jesus Christ?” When we think about Christ’s sacrifice we think about His Cross and we associate His suffering with it. But, Jesus didn’t hang there saying, “Hey, folks, this hurts so have pity on me!” Rather, He ignored his own pain the best he could and, out of love, offered his very life as a sacrifice for us. Thus, when we think about our own sufferings we tend to view them incorrectly as our crosses. Our suffering, our reluctance to give up the comfortable easy way, is not the cross we bear. No, our cross is to learn to love our spouse with a total and complete unselfish love, to do it, and, then, once we’ve figured it out, go back and find new ways to love them over and over in the ways they deserve to be loved. When couples learn and accept this, their relationships will flourish. By the grace of God, it will allow them to look their husband or wife in the eye after thirty something years and say with honesty, “I love you more today than the day we were married!”

May God bless you in your marriage and may you be an example for young couples to emulate.

“Good and gracious God, thank You for the wisdom of Your plan for our happiness. Thank You for leading me to my soul mate thirty seven years ago. And, thank You for Your mercy and grace ever since which has helped us grow closer and stronger together! Amen!”

(Understanding God’s Will for Marriage was first published on the blog Reflections of a Lay Catholic)

©2013-2019 Reflections of a Lay Catholic. Reposting and sharing of material in its full and original content is permitted, provided that full and clear credit is given to the author(s) and Reflections of a Lay Catholic.