A reflection on Matthew 8:5-17

I retired from my parish staff position back in April for a variety of reasons, two of which were to take care of things around our house and property that haven’t got done over the last three years, and to regain a satisfactory prayer life that suffered due to the hours I worked.  Now, I’m able to spend sufficient time in prayer each morning before donning work clothes and heading outside.  The long hours of daylight are allowing me to get much done, but by the time I wrap things up, it’s too late to write any reflections on what might have inspired me during my morning prayer.  Such was the case yesterday.  But, I feel like it is blog worthy so I’m going to post it a day late anyway.

Saturday’s Gospel was from Mt 8:5-17, the instance when the Roman centurion appealed to Jesus to cure his paralyzed and suffering servant.  When Jesus responded that He would come and cure him, the centurion replied, “Lord, I am not worthy to have you enter under my roof; only say the word and my servant will be healed.”  The centurion must have witnessed some miracles performed by Jesus and knew in his heart that all Jesus needed to do was ‘say the word’ and his servant would be healed.  There was no need for Jesus to go to his house.  The centurion’s faith so amazed Jesus that he proclaimed, “Amen, I say to you, in no one in Israel have I found such faith!”

The centurion’s reply to Jesus should sound familiar to us.  At every Mass during the Liturgy of the Eucharist we nearly mimic his words when we respond to the priest’s invitation to Communion: “Lord, I am not worthy that You should enter under my roof, but only say the word and my soul shall be healed.”  As I read those words I had to ask myself, “Does my faith amaze Jesus?”, and, perhaps more importantly, “If not, what can I do so that it will amaze Him?”

First of all, do I say the centurion’s words with faith, trusting that my prayer will be answered?  Sometimes, but sometimes I just rotely repeat them while my mind wanders. And what does it mean for my soul to be healed?  Well, I think it means many things, two of which are to be healed from doubt and other mental intrusions, like anxiety and busyness, that sneak in and supplant strong faith, and to be healed from succumbing to the variety of bad habits and temptations for venial sins and the occasional mortal sin.  I know I can’t overcome these hurdles by myself, but do I truly believe that I can with Jesus’ help?

Spending quality time with Jesus in daily meditation will surely make my faith stronger.  Conversing with Him, letting him know what’s going on in my life, my struggles and my joys, and listening to His response and direction will help me uncover my vices and replace them with virtues.

How much time do I spend being thankful for all the blessings He bestows on me.  Although I give thanks every day, it’s probably not enough.  Jesus asks us to pick up our crosses and follow him.  How often do I complain about my predicaments and undesired situations?  Too often.  And do I thank Him even for the things I didn’t choose, don’t like, and can’t change, knowing that He’s allowing them to make me more dependent on Him?  Not nearly enough.

Do I stop to reflect on the many graces I’ve received through the Sacraments?  Through Baptism, Christ infused the grace of charity into my soul.  How often do I utilize that grace and pay it forward by practicing the corporal and spiritual works of mercy?  I can do better.  I know that the Sacrament of Holy Communion gives me the strength to live a morally right and just life, but do I call that to mind at the moment of decision before committing an improper action or failing to do a proper one?  Again, I can do better.  Have I let fear override the grace I received from my Confirmation that gives me the fortitude to proclaim the gospel to others and evangelize?  (Ah, finally one with which I think I do well!)  Do I walk out of the confessional after receiving the Sacrament of Reconciliation feeling renewed because I’ve been absolved from my sins and given the grace to resist repeating them again?  (Yes!, another one with which I can happily say, “I’m all in!”)  Do I believe that I’ve been given all the graces necessary in the Sacrament of Matrimony to love unselfishly for the greater good and joy of my spouse?  I believe it but, unfortunately, I sometimes forget it.

It’s obvious that, although I’d like to be, I’m not an amazing person.  I have work to do.

How about you?  Does your faith amaze our Lord?  If not, what can you do to be more amazing?

(“Dear Lord, thank you for the time I spend with you in prayer.  I am grateful for this exercise of growing in self-knowledge, the starting place for growing in holiness.  Please help me turn to You more often and to say with faith as great as that of the centurion, ‘…only say the Word and my soul shall be healed.’  Amen.”)

(Be Amazing! was first published on the blog Reflections of a Lay Catholic)

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