In today’s Gospel, John 21:15-19, Jesus has just appeared to the disciples for the third time and has helped them catch a boat load of fish.  He and Peter are sitting around a campfire on the shore of the Sea of Tiberias having a conversation.  Jesus asks Peter, “Simon, son of John, do you love me more than these?”  Over the years I’ve read this passage dozens of times and today my attention was not drawn to Jesus asking Peter to feed and tend his lambs and sheep.  Today, I am pondering what Jesus means by “these”.

I imagine them sitting there together, and as Jesus asks the question, He is gesturing with His hands.  At what are they pointing?  Jesus could be pointing at the other disciples and asking if Peter loves Him more than the other disciples love Him.  Or, He could be pointing at the other disciples and asking if he loves them more than he loves Him.  Or, possibly, he’s pointing at the fish on the grill, the nets, or the boat and asking if Peter, the fisherman, loves those things more than Him.

I know that the Bible is God’s Word, and in it, especially the gospels, He is talking to us.  He could be asking Peter for any of those reasons, but what is He asking us today in those questions?  In the first possibility, it strikes me that one would have to be extremely judgmental and full of pride to think he/she loves Jesus more than other people love Him, especially one’s own friends.  It’s a no-win question, “yes” and “no” are both wrong answers.  Somehow I don’t think Jesus would put us in that predicament.

Answering the second option is also tricky.  Jesus tells us to love our neighbors as He has loved us.  Thus, to say we love one more than the other is, again, a Catch-22 situation, one that Jesus wouldn’t impose on us.

The third option, however, is certainly a possibility!  Peter’s worldly life revolved around his boat, nets and the fish he caught.  My life, and probably yours, too, is consumed with worldly things that too frequently eat up my time and draw my attention away from my Lord.  For the most part, they are good things:  work, family, relationships, food, rest, exercise, creating, admiring beauty, etc.  They are all good things, either created by God or created from the gifts given to us by God.  But, we get too attached to them in a disordered way.  We become workaholics and fail to give attention not only to God but to our loved ones; or we neglect our work which then fails to provide the necessities for our families.  Physically, we eat too much or too much of the wrong things, we exercise too much or too little.  We spend too much time looking at our screens for entertainment rather than admiring what is truly beautiful or creating beautiful things.

Can you imagine yourself in that scene, Jesus asking you that question?  Can you see His hands and arms spreading wide at all the stuff that draws your attention away from Him?  It’s all good stuff in its own way, but you know you’re way too attached to it.  And you know deep inside that it’s wrong, that it causes havoc in your life, that it’s the source of the imbalance and chaos that drives your anxiety and unhappiness.  There’s a hole in your life that these things are not filling.  It’s a God-sized hole that only God can fill.

How do you correct your course?  The answer is creating a personal Rule of Life, that is, identifying the most important things in life and putting them first, ahead of less important things, then determining how much time ought to be spent on each of those things.  I have a friend who considers a well ordered and productive life to be like following a recipe to bake a cake – you need the right ingredients (the things), the right amount or proportion of each ingredient, and incorporate them in the right order.  Of course, time for Jesus in the form of prayer, especially mental prayer meditating on His Word, needs to be one of those ingredients.  How much?  Try just 30 minutes a day, preferably first thing in the morning,  sitting with Him in silence and solitude, reflecting on His Word, loving Him and letting Him love you.  That 30 minutes will change your life.  

“Dear Jesus, we both know there are many things that draw me away from You, things that cannot bring the joy that You bring to life.  Thank You for helping me create a Rule of Life by which I generally keep all of “these” things in order, and first things first.  Yet, I know I often slip-slide.  Through my devoted prayer time with You, You give me the grace to correct my bearings when I drift off course.  Amen.”

(“Do You Love Me More than These?” was first published on the blog Reflections of a Lay Catholic)

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