In yesterday’s Gospel, Mark 9:30-37, we find Jesus journeying through Galilee with His disciples on their way to Capernaum.  Along the way the disciples are arguing about which of them is the greatest in the Kingdom.  As I reflected on this passage, I could imagine how that conversation went.  John tells Peter, “Hey, bro, you’re the best!”, and Peter replies, “No way, you are!”.  Then James looks at them both and says, “Hey, Philip is the greatest!”, and Philip replies, “Uh uh, Andrew is!

What?  You don’t think this is the way it went?  You think their egos were claiming that they personally were the greatest in the Kingdom?  Yeah, you’re probably right.  Most likely, they each thought their faith was stronger, their actions were more charitable, they worked harder than the other.  Not much has changed in two thousand years, has it?

Our pride does this to us.  We have the need for accomplishment, to feel relevant, to feel worthy, to feel validated by our friends and family, our co-workers.  And when we don’t get what we think we deserve, our egos self inflate as a defense mechanism.  We may not tell another that we’re better than they are, but we certainly feel that way much of the time.  We easily see their faults but neglect to see our own.  Jesus pointed this out when He told us to remove the beam from our own eye and then we will be able to remove the splinter from the eye of our brother (Matthew 7:5).

But what if it wasn’t that way?  What if we ditched our pride and put on a cloak of humility and actually recognized the positive attributes of others and praised them for their goodness?  I’m not talking about false patronizing praise, the kind that makes you want to throw up.  I’m talking about sincere, honest, heart-felt recognition for the dignity of the other, the kind of charity that values another over one’s self.  It’s not just possible, it actually happens.

This is the kind of loving relationship you find when a group of Christians spend time together growing in friendship, getting to know each other on a deep level.  Sure, they know each other’s faults but it’s because the person owning the fault has the self-knowledge and humility to share their weaknesses with their friends.  And those friends, rather than rub it in, help the other overcome and improve.  In a relationship like this, each knows their validation comes from the Lord, that they are a beloved son or daughter of God.  And because of this, they can love as Jesus loved, placing another ahead of themselves without any anxiety about their worth.

Friendship like this can be found in small Bible study groups; with friends who frequently share hospitality; and, especially, those who pray together.  It’s the kind of respect and love you find between members on a retreat team such as Christ Renews His Parish, Welcome, or Cursillo.  It’s the kind of love that brought me to an encounter with Jesus and has helped sustain me for the last twelve years.  It’s life-giving friendship that makes life worth living for everyone involved.  Your parish probably offers opportunities to become involved in ways in which you can experience love like this.  Get you some!

“Heavenly Father, thank You for the life to which You have brought me.  Thank You for the men and women You’ve placed in my life who have invested in me and accompanied me on my journey to You. I pray for the grace to help others do the same.  Amen.” 

(You’re the Best!, was first published on the blog Reflections of a Lay Catholic)

©2013-2024 Reflections of a Lay Catholic. Reposting and sharing of material in its full and original content is permitted, provided that full and clear credit is given to the author(s) and Reflections of a Lay Catholic.