It’s Wednesday, May 15th, but I know this won’t get posted until tomorrow. I’m writing this right after my morning meditation on today’s Gospel, John 17:11-19.  After Jesus informed his disciples that he is going away (Jn 16) and they will have to take over from Him, He warns them of the trouble they will encounter from the world, but to have courage because He has conquered the world.  Now (Jn 17), He prays to God before them to consecrate them to the truth, sends them forth into the world to continue His mission, and prays, “for those who will believe in me through their word”.

As I put myself in that scene as one of the disciples, I feel anxious.  I am alarmed and sad that my Messiah, the One I love, is leaving me, and I am fearful because I now have a tremendous responsibility to carry on His mission even though I am hopelessly inadequate.  At the same time, I think about all the good He has brought to the world – the miracles, the lessons about right living, the healing, the interior peace – lessons that simply cannot be set aside and forgotten.  I have a decision to make:  do I just remember Jesus as a friend, teacher, and miracle worker, or do I continue His work, sharing this beautiful life, and help others come to know Him?

I realize that it’s really a no-brainer.  Up until now, I’ve just been tagging along on His robe-tail, letting Him do all the work.  Now He’s asking me, and trusting in me, to step up and take command.  He’s even asked God directly to help me…and I have no reason to believe His prayer won’t be answered no matter how afraid I am.  I have never felt more loved than when I’ve been with Him.  He has asked me to love others as He has loved me.  How can I do otherwise?

My decision:  I’m in.  I know it won’t be easy but I trust that He will be with me.  I’ll make mistakes.  I’ll fall occasionally.  He told me the world will work against me.  I’ll accept that, but I’ll find ways to deal with it and evangelize nevertheless.

What’s your decision?  Are you in or out?

“Lord Jesus, thank You for inviting me to a deep relationship with You, and Your trust in me to lead others to You. Thank You for the gifts You give when I receive You in Communion, the gifts of love for others, and of courage and strength to overcome my fear of evangelizing as I bring that love to them. Amen.

(Are You In or Out? was first published on the blog Reflections of a Lay Catholic)

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