In just over a week autumn will be here and summer will officially be over.  With school starting, most parishes have wrapped up their festival season, had their parish picnics, and are beginning to prepare for the season of Advent.

Our parish family had its picnic in August.  (Perhaps I need to explain what I mean by “parish family”.  We have a priest shortage forcing our Archdiocese to combine parishes into parish families.  Our “family” consists of two established churches whose boundaries abut each other.)  To help transition from two parishes into one canonical parish with two campuses, we had one picnic for both churches.  

I made it a point to wander around and meet people I didn’t know and to get reacquainted with folks I hadn’t seen in a while.  I saw one couple whom I had not seen in four or five years sitting alone.  They regularly attend the church that I don’t usually attend.  They were eating their meal so I sat down with my plate of food and we reconnected.  I asked them how long they had been parishioners and they replied they’d been there about nine years.  I said, “You must know a lot of folks here, then.”  They looked at each other and replied, “No, not really.”  I responded, “That’s too bad, do you feel welcome here?”  They again exchanged glances and replied, “No, not really.”

Sadly, this is not an uncommon sentiment by many parishioners.  I’ve met too many people who feel the same.  They’ve attended church for years but have made no real friends.  People from the church I regularly attend have confided the same to me.  My family has experienced this with our many relocations.  And these days, because my wife and I travel often, we attend Mass at more than a dozen different churches each year and it’s rare that anyone takes the time to welcome our unfamiliar faces.

It’s easy for us to say that those who feel unwelcome are partly responsible due to their own introvertedness.  But that doesn’t excuse the rest of us.  We’re not all introverted, but even those who are can learn to be extroverted when called to be such.

By virtue of our faith we are all called to reach out to others and build up the body of Christ, the Church.  In other words, we are called to evangelize.  And evangelization happens at the pace of relationship.  Relationships are begotten when we intentionally meet and get to know each other.  Relationships build trust, and being trusted is essential when we are trying to proclaim the Gospel and bring others to, or closer to, Jesus.

Evangelization is often considered to be something we only do outside the church doors, to the un-churched.  We need to change our thinking.  We have to evangelize within our church family as well.  At any moment, parishioners like those I met at the picnic may decide that if they don’t meet anyone this Sunday, they’re gone!  Tragically, Catholics are leaving the faith in droves, partly because they do not feel welcome.  It’s a problem our Catholic culture has to overcome if we want to survive.  We have to get beyond the idea that our only responsibility is to attend mass each week and go to confession once a year.  Our Creed says we are “One”.  We need to start acting like we are all One family and loving the other as they deserve and need to be loved.  

We are called to be merciful like Jesus was merciful.  That includes practicing the Spiritual Work of Mercy of comforting the sorrowful.  We can’t keep looking past people like they are invisible, rather we have to understand that many are struggling, and that not everything is copacetic in their lives.  People going through a tough time need a listening ear.  A friendly smile and welcoming conversation can turn a difficult day into one of joy and hope.  The making of a new friend can end a life of loneliness.  And personally, the next new person you intentionally meet might just be your next best friend, the someone you need but just don’t know it yet.

Make it a point to meet someone new this Sunday or at your next parish activity.  Be intentional.  Attend a different mass, sit in a different pew, look for that spot in a pew next to someone you don’t know.  Then, after Mass, turn to them with an outreached hand and introduce yourself.  When they respond, take the conversation from there, listening to learn more about them.  It’s not that hard and you’ll be glad you gave it a try.

“Come Holy Spirit, rekindle in me and all those who have been Confirmed the virtue of fortitude to get out of our comfort zones and seek out those who need us.  Help us to look beyond ourselves and commit to bringing the love of Christ to others.  I thank You, Lord, for all those you have placed in my life who have reached out with a friendly hand and a comforting smile and made me feel a welcome member of our Catholic family.  Amen.”

(Evangelization Happens at the Pace of Relationship, was first published on the blog Reflections of a Lay Catholic)

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