From 1968 to 1971 I spent my junior high and first year of high school in English grammar schools in the U.K.  My typical weekly class schedule was a far cry from what I’d received in American grade schools.  It included:  math, biology, chemistry, physics (not just one but all three), history, geography (not social studies), English, and one or more foreign languages.  I took French all three years, plus German as an 8th grader, and Latin in the 9th grade.  Unfortunately, none of it stuck with me.  One thing I do remember clearly, though, is conjugating verbs – first, second, and third person singular and plural, in past, present and future tenses.  In any language, we always began with the verb “To Be”, i.e., “I am” (first person singular present tense); “You were” (second person singular/plural past tense); and “They will” (third person plural future tense).  

I recalled this today while meditating on today’s Gospel from John 8:51-59, in which Jesus had an altercation with a group of Jews over the identity of their fathers:  God as the Father of Jesus, and Abraham as the father of the Jews.  Jesus states, “Amen, amen, I say to you, before Abraham came to be, I AM.”, effectively claiming that He was equal to God, (see Ex 3:14-15).  Because this was blasphemous to the Jews, they attempted to stone Him to death.

“I AM” – the first person singular present tense of the verb “To Be”.  Jesus speaks about Himself.  If we were talking to Jesus, we would say, “YOU ARE”.  If we were talking about Jesus to someone else, we would say, “HE IS”.  Jesus doesn’t say, “I WAS”, or “I WILL BE”, in the past or future tenses, and we can’t say about Him, “HE WAS”, or, “HE WILL BE”.  Jesus is simply, “I AM” day after day, moment after moment, with every tick of the second hand.  HE IS now, and HE IS again in the next moment.

We can’t think that Jesus was with us once, or that He will be with us one day to come.  No, He is with us only NOW, at this present moment, and every present moment to come. He is there with us in every present moment regardless if the circumstances of that moment are to our liking or not.

Don’t we often forget this, especially when times are tough?  When remembering events from the past that caused you grief, don’t you sometimes wonder, “Why was He not there when I needed Him?”  But, we forget that HE IS there, and if we had remembered this, we would have found comfort in His presence.  When we unite our crosses with His cross, He helps us carry ours.

Or, consider some dream you have of the future and how you will pat yourself on the back for thinking, “Wow, look what I accomplished!”  We forget that HE IS with us then, too, and that it is only through His grace that we will find that joy and satisfaction we now imagine.  

Whether it’s in good times or bad, when we lose the feeling of closeness with Jesus, we open a doorway allowing the Enemy to lead us down the wrong path.

How do we keep in mind that Jesus is with us at every moment, ready to answer our call?  The first and best way is through prayer.  Developing a habit of daily prayer keeps Him close to us. Prayers of praise, thanksgiving, and asking for His intercession are all ways to acknowledge His presence.  More effective yet is meditative prayer, when we take time to sit in silence and solitude, lovingly conversing with Him, telling Him what’s on our minds and hearts, and listening for His loving reassurance.  In this way, we readily remember all the times we’ve felt His presence, and reinforce our trust in Him in the present moment.  

Reading scripture, especially the Gospels, before entering into prayerful meditation is an excellent way to relate to Jesus and His love for us.  During this time of closeness, we receive the graces and mercy we need to persevere through our anxieties.  And when we act on these promptings of grace by adopting a resolution to change or accept our situation, we again grow in trust with Him.

When we receive the Sacraments of the Eucharist and Reconciliation, we immediately feel His presence. The Eucharist gives us supernatural strength to combat sin in our lives.  But then, when we fall and regret our actions, we can turn back to Him in the Sacrament of Reconciliation, be restored and experience His merciful love.  

Remembering that our Lord works in us through our interpersonal relationships helps us feel His presence, also.  A network of faithful friends accompanying each other provides a source of encouragement and support when times get tough.  It can keep us grounded, reminding us to be grateful to God.

“Dear Jesus, I know deep in my heart that You are always by my side.  My faith can get clouded when the world challenges me, and even when everything is going my way.  Help me, Lord, to remember You, to meet You each and every day through prayer and frequent reception of the Sacraments.  I love You, Jesus, and I know You love me.  Amen.” 

(I AM was first published on the blog Reflections of a Lay Catholic)

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